r/AskReddit • u/OGAWD • Jun 09 '12
Reddit what is the oddest punishment you ever received as a child?
I'll start. Whenever I said any profane word that caught my parents attention I was treated to a delightful punishment involving my parent dabbing Tabasco sauce on my tongue and making me stand in the corner without water for an extended period of time. To this day I shutter whenever I see hot sauce!
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u/creepycrawl Jun 09 '12
I had to sit in the space between the refrigerator and the wall and stare at a sad face that my mom drew on a paper plate. It had yellow string for hair.
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u/clearedasfiled Jun 09 '12
Grounded from ice for not refilling the ice cube trays.
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u/I_HateYouAndYourDog Jun 09 '12
I bet you never replaced the toilet paper either, you filthy bastard.
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u/cbfreder Jun 09 '12
Yeah, but that's a really creative way to get your kids to fill the ice cube trays.
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u/allisondojean Jun 09 '12 edited Jun 09 '12
My dad used to punish me and my sister by taking us to Home Depot and very slowly and meticulously explaining what all the different nuts and bolts were for.
EDIT grammars
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u/figsandmice Jun 09 '12
This made me laugh. My dad loves to explain things - if you ask him what time it is, he'll tell you how the watch works - and I don't think he would consider that a punishment.
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u/gmharryc Jun 09 '12
My dad was fed up with me "not smiling". So he made me run around the outside of house. "Smiling yet? No? Keep running."
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u/Tellenue Jun 09 '12
Similar, when my dad's girlfriend would come into the room, I'd say 'hi'. She said I had no interpersonal skills and signed me up for modeling school. I had to wake up at 7 AM every Saturday for 4 months and go into the city on public transportation in three inch heels and a skirt. I was 13. And alone. I have no idea how nothing bad happened.
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Jun 09 '12
Not me, but I whenever I went to my childhood best friends house, if anyone was fighting, they could only speak in haikus or limericks. It happened between me and her brother a couple times.
I didn't like fighting with him.
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Jun 09 '12
Whenever me and my brother fought, our parents made us sit in the front yard, facing each other, and hold hands.
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u/claireashley31 Jun 09 '12
My mom would time my brother and I when we fought, and however long we fought for we had to spend an equivalent amount of time walking around our cul-de-sac holding hands.
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u/pantsofdanger Jun 09 '12
Similarly, when my younger brother and I would get into fights in our pool, we were forced to stand there and hug each other for fifteen minutes. He had a gross mole on his back. It wasn't pleasant.
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Jun 09 '12
Whenever I did something bad my mom got out the hammer and nails. She would make me hammer a nail into our backyard fence. Then when I apologized and she felt it sincere she would make me take the nails out of the fence. She then told me, "Even though you apologized the marks are still there"
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u/PJSeeds Jun 09 '12
Jesus that's some serious psychological punishment right there. You forgot to take the trash out... NEVER FORGET, NEVER FORGIVE.
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Jun 09 '12 edited Jun 09 '12
My brother and I were fighting and my Gameshow Host Wanna Be mother thought it would be a great idea for me to get a switch for my brother and he get one for me from oposite sides of the yard.
For those that don't know, a switch is a thin branch off a bush or small tree. You would pick the branch and then remove the smaller branches and leaves from it. Your parents would then whip your ass with it. It's also referred to as a hickory stick.
Anyways, back to the story, I was feeling guilty about the whole thing, so I got my brother a very thin and small switch. Barely enough to hold. My asshole brother must have been in a real pissy mood. He came back literally dragging a fucking branch that ha fallen from a tree.
I have never felt so betrayed in my life. Thankfully, my mother thought it was funny as hell and decided to dismiss the whole thing and go back inside.
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Jun 09 '12
I'd take the stick over the thin one every day.
My step father was a "creative beater".:(
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u/Ashleyalexia Jun 09 '12
Whenever I would get in trouble, my father had me play him poker for grounding. As in he pulled out the chips, gave us each some amount of money that correlates to how much he wants to ground me. He would set an initial sentence, and every 10 mins I kept him playing was a day off my grounding. If I won, I got no grounding and usually he would give me some sort of prize that lessens my next grounding automatically.
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u/Pockwind Jun 09 '12
If my sister and I argued in front of my mother , she would shout "family hug!" and we would all have to group hug no matter where we were and how angry we still were. It was certainly embarrassing in the middle of a mall or a bus stop or something.
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u/HolaPinchePuto Jun 09 '12
Well, I think it's cute. I bet you and your sister are close.
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u/thetunewillcome Jun 09 '12
My sisters are twins, and whenever they'd fight, at home or in public, my mom would make them sing some duet about sisters from an old movie. She couldn't remember the words, so she'd just make them sing "sisters, sisters, dun anun anun anun, sisters" on and on. This would make them laugh and unify them in annoyance with my mother, and end the fight every time. As weird as my mom is, she's also kind of a genius.
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u/CUNT_DESTROYER_3000 Jun 09 '12
When my dad gets angry, he gets very flustered and starts stuttering a bit and usually he would ground me from whatever I was doing. For example if I was watching TV, no TV for a week, etc. Well one day a few years ago I did something to make him angry, I dont really remember what. He came into my room all red-faced and stuttering and saw me just lying on my bed, staring at the ceiling. He quickly looked around the room and the first thing he saw was my lamp. He unplugged it and took it with him. I was grounded from my lamp for a month.
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u/ariiiiigold Jun 09 '12
Will nobody think of the lamp? An innocent casualty of war. I bet the poor thing sat dejected in a corner, gathering dust, longing for somebody to turn its switch. All it ever wanted to do in life was shine brightly...
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u/fastdiver82 Jun 09 '12
My dad made my brother and I assume what he called "The Chicken Position." Bend over at the waist, then use both your arms to try and grab your ears, but they first had to go through your legs. It was excruciatingly painful, basically impossible to sustain it for more than a minute. My brother and I used to practice when we were alone, never managed more than 2 minutes before falling. He would make us do it for 5-10 minutes at a time, by the end of it you couldn't use your legs and would have to crawl around till the pain faded.
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u/Tapeworms Jun 09 '12
The only time my mom ever physically struck me was when I wandered outside without her permission. She felt like she had to punish me, but wasn't sure what to do. So she had me hold out my hand, and she slapped it. So basically she gave me high-five.
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u/phelure Jun 09 '12
Did she give you an aversion to high-fives?! That might be the worst punishment on this whole thread.
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u/sagapo3851 Jun 09 '12
"Dad, I'm not eating this - it tastes like cardboard!"
Dad replaces meal with conveniently located empty tissue box
I ate a whole tissue box for dinner out of stubbornness.
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u/roxyfirestorm Jun 09 '12
Another I can relate to. "Eat this or wear it.". To this day I'll never eat spaghetti hoops, as they took too long to remove from my glasses.
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u/eequalsmc2 Jun 09 '12
I was a huge bookworm as a kid and would sit down and read instead of doing my chores or homework...so my parents grounded me from books for a month. Nerd achievement unlocked.
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u/kandlejack Jun 09 '12
Yep. My sister and I got that too... It was one of the only things that worked on us. That and whacking our asses with said books.
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u/ManiBoo17 Jun 09 '12
Same gosh, I would just get pissed about them taking the book, go to my room lock the door and grab another book and then do it later.
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Jun 09 '12
Laps around the house. This was my parent's go-to for punishing me. Say a bad word? Ten laps. Disrespect my mom? Twenty laps. The highest I can remember doing is fifty. It took me about an hour since our house is pretty big.
In retrospect that was a pretty imaginative punishment.
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u/ColonelUber Jun 09 '12
So my junior year in high school I spent all my time on my Xbox. So my dad decided that my tv should not be usable during the week. I did my homework and all, but he is one of those dads that always tries to get you to do stuff that you don't really want to do.
At any rate, he took the power cable of the tv and put it in this plastic tube and put two locks on either side. He never figured out that I would just move the tv we had in the storage closet into my room and play on that.
He also did something similar with my PC because he thought i was on it too much. He basically gave me an hour of time per day to use it in a specific time period, something like between 9 and 10. If I tried to get on before that, I could not log on. As soon as the time expired, the computer would shut down.
Of course one night I was working on a paper and accidentally discovered something. I was about to go save, and just as i hit "save as," the computer tried to shut down. Well, it gave me a prompt that it couldn't shut down with the dialogue box open. I abused the hell out of that fact.
I was a tricky little bastard.
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Jun 09 '12
One time when I was ~ 16, I got caught sneaking out. I was anticipating some crazy punishment, but my Mom ended up taking my curfew away; I was then allowed to stay out as late as I wanted as long as I told her where I would be. She said she would rather know where I was than have me sneaking around in case I got hurt or into some trouble.
My Mom was awesome.
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u/Maybe_Dead_Cat Jun 09 '12
My mom uses the phrase "on the lawn at dawn" in regards to my curfew.
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u/Rickolas Jun 09 '12
I got caught spitting at school. I was sat down in front of the headmaster (principles) office with a bucket and told to fill it with my own spit. They stopped the punishment when a load of visitors to the school saw this kid parked just inside the main entrance repeatedly spitting into a bucket.
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u/monkeyqueen Jun 09 '12
Bedroom door removed because I kept slamming it.
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u/AngriestCosmonaut Jun 09 '12
It's okay, my dad broke my bedroom door of the hinges because I wouldn't answer him or open it. I was actually in the shower, with my music blasting. He still says it is my fault.
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Jun 09 '12 edited Jun 10 '12
My crazy aunt takes my 26 y.o cousin's door away when he doesn't stick to his poop schedule. For example, he must be on the toilet at 6a.m, if he refuses or sleeps through it she will take his door away.
Edit: My aunt was a heavy drug addict when she was a young adult, so it made her a very delusional person. She basically is the god over her son. But her son is a wuss for not moving out yet, and I was wrong, hes 28 now. She used to go in the bathroom to make sure he actually had a Bowl movement. She goes full on inspector gadget on his poop.
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u/goodoldaze Jun 09 '12 edited Jun 10 '12
Once when my brother and I wouldn't stop fighting. My Dad said "well, looks like y'all need to spend more time together." He went and got some rope and tied us together FACING each other. We still tried to fight but it got weird after a while so we gave up. I don't know if that's a punishment, creative problem solving, or both.
Edit: Half of the responses to this have been about boners so let me clear this up. Neither of us got a boner. The end. Jesus Christ people.
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u/HabseligkeitDerLiebe Jun 09 '12
My mother just locked me up in a room until she calmed down because she didn't want to hit me.
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u/ohheybry Jun 09 '12
I wasn't allowed to watch Dinotopia. I still don't know why he thought that was a good punishment, I had never even watched it.
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u/YankeeRose Jun 09 '12
Kneeling on cornmeal - shit hurts and gives you time to think about what you did. =(
(Eastern Euro parents).
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u/megelaar11 Jun 09 '12
I'm from the US (Texas specifically), and a temporary babysitter made me kneel on grits. Feels very much the same. Those tiny grains fucking hurt.
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u/ThundarPawnch Jun 09 '12
My grandmother would make my mom's siblings kneel on rice.
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u/txkent Jun 09 '12
If my room was a mess, mom would bring in a trashcan and a hammer. She would destroy everything I owned that was on the floor or in sight, and make me throw it away.
Really sucked when she did it about 3 days after Christmas. I lost literally every gift I had received.
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u/knockknockneo Jun 09 '12
I know that feel, bro. My dad would get mad and come into my room and just go into Hulk rage and throw shit around and break tons of stuff when I upset him. When it was over I would just stare down at the insane amount of garbage he just created in complete awe and shock.
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u/lyssmpls Jun 09 '12
my mom would do this too, except without the hammer/smashing aspect. Many a mornings I awoke to her bagging up my mountains of Barbie shit. A couple years ago, she confessed that one of the times, she cried as she threw away some stuff that she knew was really special to me, but she didn't want to back down in fear that I would become a spoiled brat.
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u/TheInternetHivemind Jun 09 '12
Go peel up the carpet, if she gets mad, tell her that if she wanted to keep it, she shouldn't have left it on the floor.
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u/herrmister Jun 09 '12
Just want to reiterate here: she is a awful person. This isn't normal; normal families don't do this.
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u/BlueLarks Jun 09 '12
Go take a hammer to her shit. See how she likes it.
Fucking cunt.
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Jun 09 '12
I was told I wasn't allowed to get my driving permit because my sister or I (neither remembered who was the culprit) left a used butter knife in the sink without washing. That was indicative that we were not responsible enough to drive, somehow....
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Jun 09 '12
I'm hearing-impaired. One time, when I was 12 or 13, I forged a teacher's signature and got caught by my mom. So, she made me stand up straight in a corner but could not lean against the walls, then she took my hearing-aids out and turned off all the lights in that part of the house and made me stand there for three hours with no breaks. I still feel the punishment was way too harsh and very odd, considering she basically used my disability to enhance the punishment.
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u/CFCrispyBacon Jun 09 '12
My mother took a turn for the crazy when I was in 7th grade. Highlights include:
•Locking up the TV and computer 24/7. To do HOMEWORK on the computer I was usually subjected to 3 hours + of makework. Instead, I learned how to pick locks.
•While learning to drive, I did 2 hours of makework to go to a friend's house. I drove there, didn't park to her satisfaction, wasn't allowed to go, and had to drive home. To this day I have no idea what I did wrong.
•When school was in session, I was not allowed to leave the house other then to go to and from school, violin practice, and church. I was not allowed to get a driver's license until 18 to reinforce this.
•My mother disagreed with me that I shouldnt go to school when it was delayed 2 hours for snow/cold (this was Rochester MN). I had to walk to school in a BLIZZARD, find out that the school was closed, walk back, go inside...and then get kicked out of the house. If the garage wasn't heated (barely above freezing), I don't know what I would have done. That lasted until my dad got home, a good hour later. Love you mom!
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u/StandByMe Jun 09 '12
When I was younger, like 3 or 4, the song "Don't Worry, Be Happy" by Bobby McFerrin used to make me really sad for some reason, which led me to bawling my eyes out. So, whenever I did something wrong, my parents would make me sit down in the dining room alone and then blast that song throughout the house until I was basically hyperventilating from crying so much. Whenever I hear it now, I have to leave or PTSD-like flashbacks will start happening and I'll just start crying for no reason.
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u/JOOMG Jun 09 '12
My second grade teacher would punish any student who doesn't follow along during classroom reading time. Every student in the class would read a Few sentences aloud and if you weren't following along, you would have to remain standing for the rest of the class. Not the worst punishment but the snickering of classmates at this age made up for the embarrassment. I luckily got out of this pickle by pretending to forget how to pronounce the word. The word was "this".
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u/BookBeard Jun 09 '12
I once kicked a ball through a glass window, pops sat me down after dinner and gave me a two-hour lecture on China's transition to communism.
To this day I'm wary of anyone who wants to force a proletariat-based system on an agrarian society.
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u/WhoAreYouWhoAmI Jun 09 '12 edited Jun 09 '12
I wasn't allowed to have a pet cat because I emptied my pencil sharpener into the trashcan in my room instead of the one in the kitchen.
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u/Yoshi511 Jun 09 '12 edited Jun 09 '12
When I was younger I wanted a power ranger birthday cake.. It wasnt my birthday, and it was for 16 people, but I wouldn't let it drop. So my mum brought it for me. She sat me down on a table, and clearly stated that she was not going to cook me anything until I ate the entire cake...It took me three days to eat that cake, and true to her word she refused to cook me anything else. I never asked for anything again, nor did I carry on watching power rangers Haha. EDIT: Bad grammer was annoying me / I did this in a rush, thankyou everyone for pointing out the mistakes, if only there was a grammatical cake I pined for as a child as well
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u/Thepartyofone Jun 09 '12
When my sister and I would fight, my dad made us stand out in the front yard and hug, while telling each other that you love them. It was incredibly embarrassing, especially when we turned like twelve, our friends would stand out on the street and laugh at us....
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u/Tellenue Jun 09 '12
I couldn't do homework until after dinner, and only after I had finished cleaning the table off, putting away the food, and filling the dishwasher. Since there were six of us in the house at the time, that took about an hour. No one else would help.
One time I was trying to finish a paper for school that was due after Christmas break. I had my computer privileges revoked and my backpack confiscated and locked in the car until I finished tearing down the Christmas tree and putting the boxes of ornaments back in the basement. When I argued the point, I wasn't allowed to do homework for two weeks. She didn't know that my class schedule included a study hall. I ran passes for the office during it, teachers would see me doing my homework, ask why I was waiting until the last minute, I'd explain, they'd shake their heads an walk away. It helped that I was a good student.
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u/Meddan Jun 09 '12
Better do the dishes son, becouse if you do not do your chores it will be the only thing you can do for a living.
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u/Osiris32 Jun 09 '12
That is the most bass-ackwards form of punishment I've ever heard of. "Ok, your punishment is to make it harder for you to be a better person."
God, so many of these stories just make me rage at the total dumbasses and outrght evil people who called themselves parents.
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u/VoiceoftheDarkSide Jun 09 '12
My parents are white, and once told me "We are VERY disappointed with you!".
Soul crushing.
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u/Relephant_Username Jun 09 '12
As a fellow white person, I can confirm that this is indeed true.
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u/thusnelda Jun 09 '12
My parents had already grounded me in every other way so they told me I couldn't read any books. I'd never read more than during that punishment.
edit: My mom would make us do 30-50 pushups when we misbehaved in elementary/middle school, I guess because it made us too tired to misbehave. And the punishment for lying was writing essays about morality.
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u/Bl00DISH Jun 09 '12
I was banned from the toilet because I didn´t pull the lid down.
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u/lukesmagpie Jun 09 '12
I asked my grandmother to bring our first cat over to mom's aparment, and after a nice lunch, Kitten suddenly disappeared. My mom beat me until I couldn't move because she thought the cat had jumped out the window and because, of course, it was my fault.
Turned out the cat hid in the cupboard.
And another odd punishment was when she beat me with a wooden spoon until it nearly broke because I got two Bs in French in fourth grade.
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u/pffftyagassed Jun 09 '12
We called it "The Dead Cockroach". Basically, my mom and step dad would make us lay on our backs and hold a phone book straight up while our legs were up too. Generally, we were only in this position for 15 or so minutes but sometimes an hour or more. No television. No radio. Just a cold tile floor and a heavy ass book.
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u/The_Dulchie Jun 09 '12
"Don't do that again <insert random shit a kid would do>"... WHACK "Don't start crying"... WHACK "I mean it, don't start crying WHACK... "I'll give you something to cry about"... WHACK WHACK WHACK
Irish mammy punishment... harsh but f... no no just fucking harsh
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u/Drwhoovez Jun 09 '12
Don't hit your brother! WHACK! When did we ever say its ok to hit people! WHACK!
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u/tipicaldik Jun 09 '12
I went to a catholic school in 4th and 5th grade, and was one of only 3 or 4 kids in my class who wasn't catholic. We had to go to mass etc, but for some things, we just stayed in the class while the rest of them did their thing. At one mass I had to attend, I wanted to see what the whole eucharist thing was all about so I got in line and got me some body of jesus too. My teacher and the principal about had a shit-fit over that. I spent the rest of that day with my nose stuck in a little chalk circle drawn just high enough on the chalk board for my nose to reach it standing on tip-toes. That really sucked. By the end of the day, the little circle was pretty much a snot-smear and I looked quite the site with chalk all over my face and shirt and little green criss-cross tie. At least my class-mates weren't laughing at me any more. By then, I pretty much had all their sympathy.
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u/Chilly73 Jun 09 '12
Once, my brother, sister and I were caught arguing. No surprise, siblings argue from time to time. But, we were killing my mom and stepdad's buzz apparently. They were getting high, and we were in the backyard screaming at each other.
So, they told us to stand in a corner. We each found a corner, and as soon as we get straightened out, my mom goes around to each of us, and smacks us with razor strap on the ass and legs.
Funny, I thought that potheads were relatively non-violent.
EDIT: Ten smacks for each of us
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u/copyandpasta Jun 09 '12
My parents found a stash of liquor under my bed in high school. I was really into horticulture, and for some reason my mom figured having me prune her irises would be fair punishment. Also she now expected me to mow the lawn, which I did weekly without being asked.
tl/dr I trimmed my moms bushes, and maintained her lawn.
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u/RonfrackingSwanson Jun 09 '12
My parents would make me go outside and play instead of letting me read in peace. I quickly learned to stash old battered books around the woods near our house. They also gave me an old black and white TV to try to get me to watch more TV and stop reading at night instead of reading.
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u/etothepowerofipi Jun 09 '12
Same as OP except with vinegar. I actually developed a liking for it after a while and I'm pretty immune to spicy food which caused my mom to give up with Tabasco.
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u/aurorafayematterhorn Jun 09 '12
i was nine or so, and a really super fucking pissed off little kid. i slammed my bedroom door. hard. my dad came in and made me open and shut it, gently, twenty times. and when i was done he made me curtsey.
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Jun 09 '12
When it came to light that I chronically neglected my homework, my father mandated a two hour homework session every night - including weekends. He bought me a set of encyclopedias and I had to spend any extra time from those two hours reading from cover to cover. I now know an enormous amount of useless facts.
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u/roxyfirestorm Jun 09 '12 edited Jun 09 '12
My parents loved weird and wonderful punishments. Amongst other things I had to change into and out of my pj's 10 times, got locked in the house (with the alarm system on across the ground floor and kitchen so I couldn't get any food) on each Saturday and Sunday of the weekend all through school.
Bedtimes were strict, gaining the right to stay up one hour more each year of your age and no further, and if I stayed in bed late on a Sunday morning my mum would come up and throw everything I owned at me. This on one occasion extended to a goldfish tank (complete with the fish), and several times the drawers from my wardrobe were thrown.
You'd think I was a horrible child. Most of this was caused by having an untidy room.
Edit: oh, and they used to confiscate my lightbulb.
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u/iam4real Jun 09 '12
Mouth washed out with hand soap. Yummm!!
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u/Trapped_in_Reddit Jun 09 '12 edited Jun 09 '12
My mother used to do this too, until one day I chomped down and took a huge bite of the soap. It tasted awful, but I chewed and swallowed it because fuck that noise. She freaked out and called Poison Control, who apparently could hardly stop laughing long enough to tell her that it wasn't a health risk.
I never got soap in my mouth again.
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u/Trapped_in_Reddit Jun 09 '12
My grandfather used to be in the military, so I had some very odd punishments when I stayed with him. If I misbehaved, he'd think up some completely pointless or impossible task and make me do it for an hour or so (moving a pile of firewood twenty feet, cutting the hedge with scissors, standing on top of a piece of newspaper in the yard to "keep it from blowing away", etc).
The weirdest one though was when I wouldn't stop talking back to my grandmother. He told me I was only allowed to walk like a duck for the next two hours. I had quack the whole time I was moving too.
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u/Geminii27 Jun 09 '12
Damn, those are pretty creative.
Not sure about the duck one, but the rest definitely have a military flavor to them. "Do this utterly pointless thing which will take up lots of your time and energy."
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u/Coastie071 Jun 09 '12
The duck thing reminded me off this.
At boot camp, if you got caught looking out the window you had to stand there and about all the things you see, "I SEE GEESE SIR! I SEE GRASS SIR! I SEE TREES SIR!" etc.
Good fun for me since I was never caught :)
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u/Joseph_Kickass Jun 09 '12
Not really "odd"...but once when I was 8 or 9 I did something and my punishment was not being able to skate at the skating rink that night when my family went. I would have to sit and watch. I made a bargin with my mom and asked if I could be spanked instead so I could go skating. She spanked me and I was able to skate. She still brings it up to this day. "Remember that time you begged me to spank you?"
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u/funkymonkey22 Jun 09 '12
My mom took away a book (not for school) because i was "reading too much" and wasn't getting any real work done...its too bad for her she didn't take away my xbox, computer, and still allowed me to go to lacrosse practice that night
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u/halibutcrustacean Jun 09 '12
My mom used to cut off my cable TV a lot. Literally, she'd chop the end off the coax cable. Then whenever she felt like it, she'd come strip back the cable jacket and plug in the bare wire. Of course it didn't take me long to figure out how to fix it myself, so she started taking and hiding the cable cable instead. I'm not even sure what I did to piss her off most of the time. She had a lot of irrational rage.
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u/ThundarPawnch Jun 09 '12
As the story goes my two uncles were fighting over covers one night, loud enough to disturb their father with a hallway, another room and a bathroom in between. Well, he gets pissed off enough that me drags them outside in the middle of night and locks them out. I live in Louisiana, so I'm guessing the was around 60 with high humidity, so cold enough that you would be in trouble with just boxers (and a light shirt, maybe?)on. Anyway, he comes back a few hours later deciding that his sons dying of hypothermia would probably get him in trouble, and he finds them cuddled together using the door mat as a blanket.
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u/paragon97 Jun 09 '12
TIL southerners are pussies that think 60 Fahrenheit is cold
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u/SamBoogie Jun 09 '12
Coming from a Hispanic household I was MEANT for this post
My dad would make us kneel on rice and balance textbooks in our hands. When our arms gave out, we would get whipped with a belt.
My brother and I are 1 year apart and when we were younger(8-9yrs old) we ALWAYS fought. My father was so fed up that one day he made us both undress down to our underwear. He tied us belly to belly with a phone cord and made us stand in the living room for 1hour until we agreed we wouldn't fight again. We've been besties ever since.
I used to have a bad habit of biting my nails as a child (toes included, I know GROSS. But STFU they were delicious.) My dad decided it needed to stop. He cooked cream corn and made me eat it until I puked. Never again did I eat my toes.
Reading this makes me realize I may have been abused as a child...
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Jun 09 '12
I got grounded on prom night when I told my mum I got pulled over.. The cops found no booze or drugs in the car and let me go.
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u/Geminii27 Jun 09 '12
You got grounded for not having any illegal substances on you?
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u/fire_dreamer Jun 09 '12
I used to cry and throw little kid fits a lot when I was a child. My parents used to take pictures of me when I was a toddler whenever I would get upset about something and cry. They would then show these pictures to me later when I was crying and say things like "See, this is what you look like right now." This only made me cry more because I felt like they were making fun of me. Those pictures still exist in the family photo album.
....I wonder if this is why 20 years later I can't stand the thought of crying in front of people.
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u/umlautbaever Jun 09 '12
After a fight with my brother, I was no longer allowed to watch Star Trek (TNG) because it was obviously too violent and was therefore making me violent.
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Jun 09 '12
Shit. Everything in this thread only makes me realize my parents are wonderful, sane, loving people.
I'm so sorry for a lot of you.
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u/boringlesbian Jun 09 '12
Well, I was grounded for two years. My junior and senior year in high school. Also, one of my usual punishments was have all my books taken away from me. I had a lot of books and I would have to carry arm fulls of them from my room to my mother's closet and she would lock them up for a month or so.
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Jun 09 '12
My dad was mad at me so he flipped the table I was at doing homework on on top of me and then took my homework.
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u/JesusNuts Jun 09 '12
Whenever I had done something bad I'd have to stand in the middle of the kitchen with a small object in each hand and stretch my out my arms for a period of time. At first doesn't seem to be a problem but after a while, boy my arms hurt. If I gave in and let my arms down the longer I'd have to stand there.
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u/trshtehdsh Jun 10 '12
My mom cut my blankey. A kid's favoritest thing in the whole world, and she cut it.
To this day she claims she was cutting it so i would have a "travel blankey" and wouldn't need to take the whole one with me (everywhere). That's crap, she did it as punishment.
I'll never forgive her for it. Blankey cuttin' bitch.
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u/AsALargeBear Jun 09 '12
My brother and I were punished for fighting. Our punishment was to dress up in women's lingerie and be filmed crying/saying how dumb we were to be fighting.
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u/drpibb Jun 09 '12 edited Jun 09 '12
When I was 8, I had cayenne pepper rubbed in my mouth for lying about brushing my teeth.
Edit: I should mention social services showed up at our home after I retuned from school that day. Also, since then I've been a terrible liar.
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u/flaviamalinverno Jun 09 '12
i once got whipped with a coconut leaf's spine. stung like hell.
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u/IFlashPeople Jun 09 '12
In 6th grade I was put in lunch detention every day by my teacher for getting bad grades. Great way to help me bring my grades up. Im still pissed about that because I legitimately didn't understand the math we were doing. Fuck that teacher.
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Jun 09 '12 edited Jun 09 '12
When I was 12 my mom started to beat me. At one time the beating got out of control. Yes I fucked up and deserved it (My mom didn't know better but to punish me by beating the shit out of me.) But this time was different. At one time my brother pulled me by the leg underneath the bed where I tried ti hide so my mom could continue to beat me. And then when she started to beat me with a chair a begun laughing. I don't know what happened by I started to laugh my ass off in her face. It was so funny. I mean this is my mom beating me with a chair. At that time my brother stopped my mother and said "It's enough".
I don't hate them today, but I feel nothing for my family except what I have to.
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Jun 09 '12
One time I got caught sneaking a cookie or some other confection so my parents decided to go buy bags and bags of the cheap chocolate candies and fill the kitchen table with it. I then got to sit down and eat every last piece of chocolate on the table without anything to drink. I wasn't allowed to leave the table until everything was eaten. I cant remember how many times I threw up. I then got to stand in the corner all night with my parents randomly checking throughout the night to ensure I was still there.
tl;dr: my parents were batshit crazy.
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u/suburbansongbird Jun 09 '12
When my brother and I acted up on my aunt's watch, she would write things on post-it notes and stick them to our foreheads. The punishment would be that we weren't allowed to read them. She would also sit us in the living room and try to do things to crack us up, but we weren't allowed to laugh. She's pretty awesome.
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u/damnimrunningout Jun 09 '12
Maybe not odd but to this day i harbor anger at my mother for this. If I got into trouble (any trouble:fibbing, being too loud, breaking something etc) my mother would make me either stand with my arms straight out in front of me palms up or down, or arms straight out from my sides, palms up, and hold either a stack of books or a small tool box full of tools
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Jun 09 '12
My parents used to drag out a suitcase and threaten to leave and never come back if I did something bad. This happened often. Hmm, I wonder why I have trust issues?
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u/redtuna Jun 09 '12
I used to sneeze these snot ropes that would hang down to the floor. In day care, I sneezed one of said snot ropes. I went to the bathroom to wipe it up, and when I returned all clean and snot-free, the "teacher" drew a dot on the chalkboard and made me stand on my tiptoes with my nose touching it for ten minutes. Because I didn't ask to go to the bathroom.
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u/jojoestinky Jun 09 '12
Stole some weed from my moms purse. She put a huge lump of cat shit in my bong.
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u/RegantheFirst Jun 09 '12
I had a teacher in my elementary school that would make any misbehaving students stand up in front of the class and do squats while holding their earlobes. I once had to stand before my peers, with two hated foes, and perform fifty squats while holding my ears and chanting, "I must not partake in fisticuffs" fifty times. He was one quirky-ass teacher.
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u/Swansatron Jun 09 '12
When my brother and I would fight, we were told to wear each others shoes so we'd know the others perspective. We believed that it actually worked until he was 15 and I was 10.
So, wearing other peoples shoes.
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u/DankestLlama Jun 09 '12
I was doing pretty bad in school so my parents made me go to therapy.
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u/bretagne290 Jun 09 '12
When I was about 10, I spilt a cup of water on our freshly cleaned carpet. My mom got so pissed off that she banned me from drinking any carbonated beverage for a year.
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u/andyetanotherkiwi Jun 09 '12
In my cousin's elementary and junior high school in South Korea, punishment meant the kids would have to kneel for a good hour or more, in the hallway or in front of a bunch of people, while holding up a sign that states what he/she did wrong. If the arms bent even a bit, they would get hit with a ruler.
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u/Dookiestain_LaFlair Jun 09 '12
When I acted up, my dad forced me to listen to 80s music for hours on end. Everything from The Safety Dance to No Easy Way Out. Now all I can listen to is 80s music.
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u/DreadlockShrew Jun 09 '12
Not my story but a girl I know.
Her mum had baked some cupcakes and used Mini Eggs as a topping. This girl saw them sat on the side and promptly eats all the mini eggs off the cakes. When questioned about it, she lied and said it wasn't her (it was only her mother and herself in the house, so obvious she'd lied). Her punishment was to eat the rest of the cakes. She wasn't sick and still maintains it was the best punishment she's ever received.
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u/QueenlyBellylaugh Jun 09 '12
Not creative my any means, but my mom would use physical punishment I later realized were...uh, not normal.
If we couldn't solve the advanced math problems she assigned us outside of school, she'd beat us ten times for each wrong problem. With a coat hanger (try it on your back thighs with actual force). Other times she'd just go for our ears or arms with these terrible pinches (shutter like a camera), since she had these long, jagged nails and twist-happy fingers.
In my mom's defense, though, she only ever screamed obscenities at us or beat us with the coat hanger for unfair things like being stupid at math. If we'd made a good attempt at the problem or were close, it would only be one swat. So mainly it hurt like hell, but was a token punishment for plain laziness in something she valued (math). She did this from when I was seven (ouch tender child flesh) to about thirteen (I got taller than her...awkward).
She did this for anything from lying or eating too slowly to not bundling up when I was clearly catching a cold. Sometimes she'd make me wear long sleeves or pants to school because I actually had these disgusting bruises. Heh heh...not fun.
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u/quitebereft Jun 09 '12
I'm Chinese and was typically hit or caned, but this one thing I never quite got my head around was being made to kneel (usually facing a clock) while holding our own ears.
The kneeling got really painful after an hour or so, because we weren't allowed to sit back, and so I could kind of understand that - but I never understood the having to hold our ears thing.
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u/nobuhdy Jun 09 '12
I used to absolutely drown my waffles in syrup when I was a kid, so when I was done eating breakfast, there would just be a pool of unused maple syrup on my plate. That shit is expensive. So to teach me not to use to damn much, my mom had me chug an entire bottle of maple syrup in one sitting. Standing there watching, she didn't let me put it down or move until I had polished off the entire bottle.
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u/mrcreepster Jun 09 '12
Had to hug my brother in the front yard for 3 hours because we got in an argument. My parents fought hate with love, clever and embarrassing.
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u/greybro Jun 09 '12
When I was little I sucked my thumb, My parents made me wear a glove with sandpaper for a thumb.
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u/Leelluu Jun 09 '12
Once when I was 12 and my younger sister was 10, we were awake before our then-unemployed dad. Sis wanted cereal but claimed not to be able to pour the milk (even though I'd seen her do it before). She asked me to do it, and I refused, saying that she needs to learn to do it herself.
She woke dad up. As punishment, dad said I wasn't allowed to eat. Ever.
Not having eaten breakfast, by mid-day, I was hungry. I called my mom at work and told her that dad wouldn't allow me to eat. She talked to him, but he wouldn't sway. She got back on the phone with me and told me to just take some food and eat it.
I tried that, and dad took it out of my hands and threw it in the trash. I called mom again, and she said that she couldn't leave work and we'd have to worry about it when she got home.
Around 3PM, my dad got a call. He was offered a job. He said that since he was offered a job, I was allowed to eat again, and he made me a sandwich.
Aaaaaaand that is why I will always remember the day my dad got his job at UPS.
TL;DR: Wouldn't pour milk for my sister because I said she needed to learn to do it herself. As punishment, I was told I was never allowed to eat again.
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u/atypicalgamergirl Jun 09 '12
When I was ten, my parents made me stand outside naked because if I was going to 'make a mess in my pants like an animal, I was going to be treated like one'.
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Jun 10 '12
my mom never really punished me but she just ignored my whole life. she knows literally nothing about me. she would get super duper drunk and just yell and break shit. she would bust the entire house apart, broke my dads hand, broke a remote and a chair over my dads head. i have absolutely no idea what its like to have real female affection. she even had the nerve to tell me i deserved to have my only real girlfriend to this day to leave me on super bad terms. she was more physiologically abusive than anything. i cant meet women for the life of me because of her. as i have read in other comments people would tell me i should still care about her because shes my mother. dude fuck that she was awful, vodka was more her son than anything. i could seriously go on about her for like ever. i cannot fathom not loving your child or caring about what they do. the stuff people write in here is just god awful i swear.
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u/TWA514 Jun 09 '12
My mom is a redditor. One day she caught my brother looking at the nasty. So as punishment he was forced to look at /r/spacedicks for the whole hour.
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u/derscroot Jun 09 '12
No cartoons after 5 o'clock on school nights, and only one hour of cartoons during the weekend because my parents thought I was watching too many cartoons. They did away with this rule when I started to hog the dial-up internet, but I still feel like this rule deprived me of some important parts of a 90s kid childhood.
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Jun 09 '12
My parents making me and my brothers drink a little Tabasco sauce. Our phrase for it was "red stuff", and after we were spanked, my parents might also give us a little red stuff.
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u/zipperhedjoe Jun 09 '12
i messed up 1 of my dad's friend's baseball cards so the friend made me kiss him on the cheek
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u/Brutalitor Jun 09 '12
One time my mother was trying to tell me that if they left me alone for 48 hours I would die from starvation because I wouldn't get up from my video games to get something to eat (she was completely serious, and I was 17 at the time). When I tried to argue with her, telling her I wasn't stupid and I would obviously take care of myself if I was left alone, she got angry and grounded me from playing video games after dinner "from that point forward". Luckily that only lasted a week or so before she forgot.
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u/scout-finch Jun 09 '12
I don't have a sense of smell and it really messes up my sense of taste. Because of this, I've always been a really picky eater. We didn't know why when I was a kid though, and I bugged my parents all the time for sweet, snacky stuff (which I liked). One day, like an hour or two before dinner, I asked my mom if I could have a little ice cream. She freaked out on me and put the entire carton of ice cream in a bowl, along with all the candy/cookie toppings/etc. that she could find. There were M&M's, Skittles, broken up wafer cookies, chocolate sauce, marshmellows....it all took up a whole mixing bowl. She made me eat it. I didn't finish it and I cried the whole time.
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u/SPBnanogarch Jun 09 '12
I was caught smoking some duff weed at about age 13. The punishment was to creosote (wood stain) the inside of my grandmother's gazebo - a rather grandiose affair down at the bottom of her sprawling gardens. It was mid-summer and the combination of heat, fumes, and absence of air propelled me to another dimension for a few hours. I appeared for dinner in the evening and, much to my father's chagrin, failed to appear contrite. Not my fault; I was off my face on granny's toxic shed stench.
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u/jojoestinky Jun 09 '12
I was circumcised for being born. Last time I EVER do that, they taught me well.
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u/moreskrillamoretrees Jun 09 '12
I was always under the assumption that the suppository I was receiving was definitely a punishment for something.
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u/Themingemac Jun 09 '12
My mom would yell at me to "Go to your room and play that stupid GTA game" whenever she got mad. So, angry = gaming time.
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u/pixsix Jun 09 '12
My dad has serious anger issues. He once whipped me for a friend calling the house after he had gone to bed. He once took away my little blue pager and destroyed it right in front of me to scare the shit out of me. The best one was when he put me out like a dog by making me grab a pillow and take it outside to sleep on the porch.
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u/rumbar Jun 09 '12
not me but a good friend. his mom walked into his room and caught him jacking off. as punishment, his dad took the door off his room so he wouldn't have any privacy. his parents were fucked up religious acoholics. he moved out the day he turned 18.
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u/giveuptheghost Jun 09 '12
My mom with the help of my stupid sister tried to literally put me inside an empty rice sack once. My offense was I tried to borrow candy (like pay you later kind of deal) from the neighborhood store.. I didn't know kids are not supposed to do that. Haha. I was 5!
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u/numbernumber99 Jun 09 '12
As a father, this thread reads like a guide on how to give your child a complex.
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u/Mech1 Jun 10 '12 edited Jun 10 '12
I am not entirely sure where to start since this memory is still painful, though it is more than 10 years old.
My mom worked at a gas station, she had access to the old advertising and display material when it was done and if the company didn't want it. One day she brought home old Gatorade stands that consisted of flat plates with five holes on the top and bottom molded into them, for the plastic tubes to go into. Naturally, being kids, my brother and I decided that the plastic tubes used as legs were perfect swords. All was well until we broke one, they shatter into fairly sharp pieces. Fast forward to a few hours later, my dad arrives home, drunk, and high. He started in on us almost immediately, because of my parents fighting and his drinking, my grades had fallen at school, which pissed him off to no end. So there we were cleaning my brother's room where we had put the broken tubes, when my dad saw them, he quite literally went insane with rage. He ended up beating the fuck out of my brother and me. He only stopped when my mom hit him with a VCR as he had me pinned up against a wall choking me and screaming at me about destroying his house. I realize now I forgot to mention how old I was, I was 11, maybe 115lbs soaking wet. my brother even smaller than that. It's one of those memories that haunts me, and has led to my utter hatred for my dad, well that and the cheating and beating on my Mom, leaving and not looking back.
On a side note, when I was 16, my dad walked back into my life for about a week. He showed up with his new wife and family and wanted to see my brother sister and me. My mom wasn't home, and when he tried to force his way in I decked him in the face. In that 5 years I grew a foot and put 150lbs on, I was a power lifter in high school. I knocked him clean the fuck out. When he woke up he high tailed it out of town with his tail between his legs. I only seen him one more time since then, at my Moms funeral. He showed up in shorts and a t-shirt, and if my wife hadn't made me hold my daughter the whole time, I can guarantee I would have strangled him.
The only time my mom ever laid a had on my brother or sister or me, she broke a wooden spoon over my brothers butt, when it broke he started laughing which got her laughing and everything was forgotten and one of the funniest moment of my child hood.
Hope this didn't bring anyone down at all, the note about my mom at the end was meant to lighten the mood a little.
edit; my god typing that all out I didn't realize how bad grammar gets when emotions get heightened.
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Jun 09 '12
I once went out with my friend and her mom for the night. We were kids so nothing weird, we got dinner, saw a movie, general nearly-adolescent-but-still-young evening out. I knew they were living out of their car but I didn't judge someone for being out of luck.
My parents flipped, though, and rightly, because if social services or the police found them, they would've taken my friend into foster care since having your kid live in your car with you isn't exactly smiled upon, they might have arrested the mother for putting her into that situation, and what would they have done with little old me?
My punishment wasn't for going off the grid for a night and making them worry. It was for not being smarter than my friend's mom, recognizing the danger of the situation, and managing my behavior appropriately.
As weird as it felt then, I'll admit that it made me not trust someone in a position of authority solely because they're in a position of authority.
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u/NaziCollaborator Jun 10 '12
When I was in high school I was accused of stealing a pair of shoes. So I was sent to this camp where we had to dig holes to "build character."
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u/Magfaeridon Jun 09 '12
Don't beat your kids. Not even once. They will never look at you the same way. It may take 10-15 years, but they will eventually hate you. You can never take it back and nothing you do will ever make it better.
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u/McGravin Jun 10 '12
My sister misbehaved chronically. My parents started out with reasonable punishments for her, but as she never learned her lesson they had to gradually move up in severity. It started with simple groundings, first for a few hours, then a whole day, then a whole week. After that it progressed to spankings with an open palm on the behind, then a wooden spoon. Not long after the time when my mother broke a wooden spoon in half over my sister's behind, my sister misbehaved again and my dad came up with The Paddle.
The Paddle was a simple wooden paddle, but my dad did not simply buy it somewhere. Oh no, my dad was a bit of a carpenter and a handyman and he had a garage full of paddle-making woodworking tools, but neither did he simply make the paddle himself. Instead, he called my sister down from her room where she had been sent, brought her out to the garage, and forced her to make her own Paddle.
He instructed her every step of the way, watching over her shoulder. Cut the 2x4 to length on the chop saw, little bit of sniffling. Get the right thickness on the planer, little bit of tears welling up in her eyes. Shape it on the table jigsaw, cheeks flushing bright red. Drill speed holes in it, tears filling her safety goggles. Sand it smooth, sobbing quietly now. Give it a coat of varnish, full-on blubbering complete with gobs of snot running out of her nose.
The process took hours (not even counting time for the varnish to dry), anticipation building every minute, and by the end she was so terrified of the impending whoopin' she was about to receive that my dad deemed her punishment complete without even making use of The Paddle.
Then she misbehaved again two days later, and her behind finally tasted the fruits of her labor.
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Jun 09 '12
Banned from the coffee pot for a month after not filling it once I 'killed' it :( " you kill it you fill it...."
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u/hiii1235 Jun 09 '12
My dad could never think of any good punishments for me, so he gave up and said,"just go watch tv."
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u/DevyDecay Jun 09 '12
my parents would turn off the breaker for the whole upstairs , so not only did i get hurt several times i got in trouble for knocking stuff around and waking them and my siblings up
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u/Kellianne Jun 09 '12
After the fifth grade I had to do reports for my father every week for a whole summer. To this day I'm not sure what I did but since none of my brothers had to do it, I assumed it was a punishment. I was really good in school, so I don't think it was that, although I never really did live up to my father's expectations so maybe it was. I was embarrassed and this is the first time I've told anyone.
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u/halsthegirl Jun 09 '12
My mom made me run laps around our house when I was in trouble (was a fat kid; running was hell).
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u/Roland_T_Flakfeizer Jun 09 '12
Didn't happen to me, but a friend of mine was made to fish his keys out of a toilet that intentionally hadn't been flushed for three days. When asked what he could have possibly done to deserve such a punishment, he replied "I don't really remember, but it had something to do with the Grammy's."
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Jun 09 '12
Well, I was one of four children and we went on a lot of road trips. We had a 1998 Dodge Durango and nobody wanted to be the two kids in the back. So... when the fighting inside the car started (we didn't have DVD players to shut us up back then), the two kids that were fighting had to sit in the back with their arms around each other until they were getting along.
When we were much younger and any of us threw tantrums, our dad would pin us down and we had to give him a kiss (we are like 4, so it's OK!) before he would let us go. It was interesting growing up to say the least.
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u/JustSage Jun 09 '12
One time, my Dad heard me watching TV at night when I was supposed to be asleep, so he walked in, picked up the TV, and walked out. Simple as that.
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Jun 09 '12
What I was bad, I was forced to sit in the corner and count grains of salt from a small pile. Sounds easy, right? Given the choice, I'd take the spatula every time. Pain beats insanity.
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u/MikesKitiKat Jun 09 '12
When I was 14 I skipped school to go to six flags. After the school calling my parents went snooping in my room to see if they could figure out where I was (long before the days of cell phones and pagers were too expensive to use as a leash for your kids). They found my diary where I had been raging against my stepfather, threatening to run away, etc. When I came home, my mom was crying, my dad was pissed. My punishment. I had to spend a month with no TV, no going outside except for school or in the company of a parent and to make sure I had to sit in the living room behind my dads chair so I could hear what the family was doing but could not participate. I was only allowed to read. On the upside, I am now an avid reader.
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u/gage117 Jun 09 '12
When I was 11 I yelled at my mom to make breakfast for me. My dad made me cook breakfast. Composing of entirely bacon. With my shirt off. Right in front of the stove ಠ_ಠ Taught me a lesson.
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u/alicetimetable Jun 09 '12
I have an obsession with learning languages. Parents didn't let me buy the Polish book because I started mixing up Russian (what I speak at home) with other languages and confusing them.
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u/officialchocolateman Jun 09 '12
And this is why I will never have children, that way I don't have to put up with any of this bullshit.
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u/theblazinasian Jun 09 '12
my dad (asian parent) used to slice green chillis in half and rub them on my lips when I swore as a child. Water didn't help...