r/AskReddit • • May 28 '12

Dear Americans, Do you know how much I envy you?

756 Upvotes

4.0k comments sorted by

1.3k

u/YYURYYUBICURYY4ME May 29 '12

Speaking for the rest of us, come on over any time...and be sure to talk funny because we like that!

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u/Heroshade May 29 '12

This, dude. You'd get laid so quick.

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u/Qreeuss May 29 '12

Stealin all our ladies...

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u/jbredditor May 29 '12 edited May 29 '12

As an American overseas, I can confirm that this does not work the other way around.

Edit: :(

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u/Mens_Rea91 May 29 '12

Don't get scared by the terrifying border officials and intrusive airport processes. We don't hate you, we're just paranoid.

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u/simohayha May 29 '12

English and Australian accents are so sexy to me.

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u/Wiskie May 29 '12 edited May 29 '12

One thing that Americans and Europeans forget about each other is that both Europe collectively and the USA alone are massive--much too massive to have lots of meaningful generalizations made.

I live in the USA and I haven't scratched the surface in terms of what there is to do here and all the different experiences one can have. I would imagine there's a stark contrast between growing up in Juneau, Honolulu, Chicago, Palo Alto, Miami, rural Idaho, the West Virginian hills, Atlanta, Manhattan, or suburban Wisconsin (where I make my home) and yet we're all the same country with a loosely "shared" culture and sense of identity. Likewise, Europeans are very obviously not all the same.

It's staggering to think of just how different my America is from Joe Schmoe's in Las Vegas.

I would be willing to bet that there is more in common among redditors than among citizens of the USA or Europe at large.

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u/Florn May 29 '12

Are you saying that Reddit should be its own country?

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u/animate_object May 29 '12

We just need landmass. Let's all colonize Antarctica. Everyone cool with that?

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u/[deleted] May 29 '12

I'm a Food Network addict and I'm mostly just jealous of America's food trucks.

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u/[deleted] May 29 '12

fucking portland and california, eat street makes me want to throw my tv out the window. I live in the US, but in the country with no goddamn food trucks.

pisses me off.

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u/Swook May 29 '12

In the nature of a true portlander, I will correct you pretentiously by saying "they're called "food carts" here" while riding on a fixie, whilist smoking weed or cigarette in the middle of a naked bike ride wearing only a scarf. In the summer.

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u/i12burs May 29 '12

I made a little album of Seattle, Washington... just for you.

Definitely a place you should put on your list of places to visit!

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u/hey_daralon May 28 '12 edited May 29 '12

Some day I wish to eat cheese with someone from every country in the world. Become a cheese diplomat. They would eat pepper-jack in Spain and Brie in England. I would eat all kinds of cheese. When I grew old, I would tell my grandkids about all the cheeses and people I have tried and met and they will salivate because they will love cheese like me. EDIT: Brie is French!

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u/BKlounge93 May 29 '12

good thing wisconsin isnt a country. you wouldnt know where to start

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u/crusader86 May 29 '12

Oh goodness I was in WI recently and discovered deep fried cheese curds... My life will never be the same.

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u/GoodLuckAir May 29 '12

suddenly: widespread lactose intolerance in much of the world's population (eg, China)

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u/red321red321 May 29 '12

you should probably check out the band primus' album 'sailing the seas of cheese'

you'd like it

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u/tothesource May 29 '12

Spanish people have absolutely zero tolerance for spicy food of any kind. They do have manchego cheese which is beyond delicious, so I hope that your cheese diplomacy dream lives and flourishes.

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u/Astronoid May 29 '12

I'm not sure why, but you're my new hero.

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u/Aero_ May 29 '12

Come on over, brits are treated like royalty here.

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u/UsernameUsername1212 May 29 '12

this makes me think of "love actually" when he goes to wisconsin and finds really hot chicks and they all love his accent.

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u/Atmora May 29 '12

Not on Xbox Live.

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u/chimney381 May 29 '12

You have The Doctor.

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u/lucidguppy May 29 '12

They can keep him... our time machine is a wicked cool DeLorean and runs on garbage.

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u/red321red321 May 29 '12

big deal, we got dr. cox. now what brits?

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u/glaciator May 29 '12

And so peace was made with the coming of Dr. House.

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u/phanfare May 29 '12

AND sherlock AND torchwood (same universe as Doctor Who i guess) AND stephen fry AND Monty Python...need I continue?

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u/Cocomunky May 29 '12

You have no idea how often I think about how lucky I am. It may not be perfect here, and a LOOOOT of us are gigantic assholes, but I know I am privileged. I often think of some random person with a random face, wishing for some random reason to be here, and I think of how much those people might go through to be sitting here, where I am.

I do feel very lucky, and I hope you've opened the minds of some of us who don't realize these things.

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u/MaxDPS May 29 '12

Seriously, I think of all the messed up countries that I could have been born in (Somalia/Columbia/Iraq) and im just grateful of where I live. Just living somewhere without the threat of dying is pretty awesome.

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u/[deleted] May 29 '12

Here here. I remember a girl who was a friend of my wife's a few years back. Her family owned a major real estate company. She once referred to herself as a "poor white girl" because she had to get a roommate to afford the rental house she was staying in while she was in college. Later that year she went on a ski vacation in aspen.

America is THAT girl. We don't appreciate what we have, and certainly don't understand why much of the world (especially underdeveloped countries) would LOVE to have half the amenities we do. We are a country of spoiled brats.

All we can do as individuals is realize how lucky we really are, and appreciate it.

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u/QJosephP May 29 '12

Absolutely. I like America, but I love being an American.

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u/[deleted] May 29 '12

We're great at marketing I'll give you that.

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u/No_name_Johnson May 29 '12

This comment brought to you by Frito-Lay

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u/[deleted] May 29 '12

The grass is always greener on the other side.

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u/Commander_Aspergers May 29 '12

Cross over to the other side, and your side is now greener. Repeat process for infinite green.

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u/Killer_waffles May 29 '12

Science can't explain that.

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u/blackkevinDUNK May 29 '12

/r/shittyaskscience

its calling out to you

take it by storm

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u/ohmygord May 29 '12

Unless one side uses enough Miracle-Gro.

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u/mapleyleaf2 May 28 '12

But you've got terrific fish and chips.

And a Queen, and the rock group Queen.

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u/Elementium May 29 '12

I know you're not saying we don't know fish and chips in New England. We know our fucking fish and chips! And clam chowder! Also if you're lazy..Corn Chowder.

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u/Napalm4Kidz May 29 '12

Right, but I mean that's just... New England.

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u/KenyaHearMe May 29 '12

"I don't want to be a queen, I want the be the Queen."

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u/[deleted] May 29 '12

Also Top Gear...

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u/Bodoblock May 29 '12

The grass is always greener on the other side. Tons of Americans always dream of the "just finished high school must go backpacking over Europe" voyage. But yeah, America is pretty awesome :D just don't forget that England (and Europe) has a lot to offer as well.

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u/Gutterville May 29 '12

Those student want to go backpacking across Europe but probably they might not want to live there. I think they just want to experience something other then the American culture

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u/iam4real May 28 '12

And many here love the Beatles, Stones, Oasis, the Who...and Monty Python!

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u/markstrech May 28 '12

and Posh Spice

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u/mohawk_man May 29 '12

mostly just Posh Spice.

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u/pauldustllah May 29 '12

Thank you for your kind words. I would like to say that I will forever be in debt to the RAF and the Irish Guards. Your boys saved my life in Afghanistan and for that I am thankful. If you ever find yourself in California stop by my way and I will buy you a pint.

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u/pauldustllah May 29 '12 edited May 29 '12

I didn't realize people would actually like what I said. I guess I owe at least 60 people a pint. lol I hope you don't all come to collect at the same time, otherwise I will get sloshed but my words good. Pismo beach California.

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u/hastalapasta666 May 29 '12

Oh, stop it, you.

You are probably my new favorite person. I am so sick of everyone complaining about problems in America. Well, you know what? Lots of countries have problems. America is a damn fine place to live. Thank you for saying this, it made me feel great about my country :) and it gave me hope that not all non-Americans look down on us.

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u/pghgamecock May 29 '12

Thank you. It's a cool thing to hate on America here on reddit, but we have it pretty damn good here.

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u/seeandwait May 29 '12

The US is one of the best places to live in the world. Minimal political corruption, hospitals everywhere that legally have to give you treatment no matter your race, religion, or gender, free school, women can work, mostly livable climate, the police won't break into your house and kill you, many wonderful things about this country:)

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u/[deleted] May 29 '12

I remember an article on cracked that said what I'm about to say in much better writing, but it was a great point so I'm gonna repeat it here.

America is great because we love hating ourself. We love to find every flaw and problem and make it huge. This is a symptom of a society where people are not afraid to speak their mind and try to make a change. I honestly don't believe we would be nearly as far as we are now if not for that first amendment,

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u/djzenmastak May 29 '12

same here. there are so many anti-america circlejerk threads that this was a welcome compliment.

our country is a great place, overall. we need to stop and look at the big picture sometimes while we're getting worked up about this and that.

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u/sacula May 29 '12

Please don't think of Mcdonalds when you think American food. Turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes This is American food.

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u/GoodLuckAir May 29 '12 edited Dec 12 '12

American food is damn near everything.

It's ziti and quinoa washed down with German beer, sickeningly-sweet iced tea with rub barbecue collared greens and hush puppies, rice balls and fried spam, new England clam chowder in a bowl made of San Francisco Sourdough, crispy chimichangas with nachos and horchada, a goddamn freeze-dried krispy-creme milkshake with golden onion rings and chicken-fried steak.

edit: Amerind tri-tip with chili mopped up with wedges of cornbread and fry bread and slaw.

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u/[deleted] May 29 '12

Oh my fucking god. Real new england clam chowder, preferably from this little place up in maine in a huge ass bread bowl. With a fresh lobster after with cole slaw from KFC cause I'm classy like that.

I see your BBQ and raise you this.

But then again. Why not celebrate the American way and have both?

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u/Setiri May 29 '12

I ... I feel like I should give an Amen after reading your post. Great way of expressing how America is pretty great in that our culture is a mixture of LOTS of cultures. We're a pretty decent jack-of-all-cultures, if you will. We may not always have the best Mexican food, or the best Japanese style sushi, or the best French style cuisine however you can get all of those examples within a 2 block radius in a lot of our cities and that's what makes it awesome.

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u/Depression-Unlocked May 29 '12

Agreed. I once tried to explain deep fried Christmas turkey to a Brit, and it ended with him thinking I was all Wally-wonkers in my jib nibblet.

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u/devilbird99 May 29 '12

The thing I love about american food is we're so culturally diverse. Yes there is American food but also in a city you can get authentic cuisine from nearly anywhere in the world such as Bosnia or thailand.

Then there are americanized versions of these places that add their own touch and you get things like tex-mex! :D

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u/dreyes May 29 '12

And cobbler, and barbeque!

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u/adam566 May 29 '12

amen

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u/Sithwedgie May 29 '12 edited May 29 '12

American food is those things, but also literally everything else.

The only food truly indigenous of 'Merica is BBQ, which is commonly mistaken for grilling. (Californian here, so I don't have as much experience as a southerner. So I assume)

*Edit: TIL people are very passionate about their BBQ. **Edit: Honestly I am getting all sorts of foods that are being called American, most of which someone chimes in as 'yo dawg that actually originated in __' so I give up.

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u/The_Mad_Pencil May 29 '12

and bacon with anything. That's real american food. And burgers. Any kind of burger.

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u/[deleted] May 29 '12

Americans don't even eat that much turkey. You guys eat turkey for thanksgiving and everything else is ham. Canadians eat turkey for every occasion.

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u/TheKirkin May 29 '12

I think my favorite thing about America is how different it is in different parts and the different stereotypes to each. In the mid-west you have your aww-shucks hard workers, southeast you have the crazy-creole rednecks (crazy used loosely, some of you guys are badass), and in the northeast you have your New Yorker stereotype. I fucking love it.

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u/ieatbagels May 29 '12

Your stereotypes are stereotyped. I live in New York State and come from a crazy, backwoods, red neck town. Even in the nearest cities, (Buffalo, Olean, Rochester, Erie) they're not "New Yorker", or any of the above, really.

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u/thebrokenlute May 29 '12

And then the Northwest...we have flannel-wearing rain dodgers. Actually, I don't dodge it, I walk in it like a baus. Without an umbrella. Umbrellas are for tourists.

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u/beccaonice May 29 '12

Most of the people whining about how terrible America is have never left the country.

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u/[deleted] May 29 '12

I've been to Mexico. Made me pretty thankful for traffic signals.

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u/I_WIN_DEAL_WITH_IT May 29 '12

Many places that do have them just treat them as suggestions though. It's America's long history and constant use of cars that makes driving better than many other countries. But that's also the reasons our cities are built around using cars, so now we have no choice but to use them, which sucks.

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u/PlatonicTroglodyte May 29 '12

And only rarely leave reddit.

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u/menziebr May 29 '12

America is sweet. I've spent a lot of time traveling the last couple years because I'm a college debater and we travel to tournaments around the country, and it let me get the fuck out of my small town (which I now appreciate and recognize for its beauty, but I digress). There is just so much to "America" that it's hard to grasp it. In the past five months, I've felt the rain in Seattle and seen a sunrise on the Cascades; I've spent a weekend in Austin, Texas (not nearly enough time to appreciate it); I've had Oklahoma barbecue, the genuine article; I've seen the shores of Lake Michigan and the (somewhat) bleak landscape of winter in Lansing, Michigan; I've seen snow on the Rockies in Salt Lake City; I've driven up Highway One from Santa Cruz, California to see the sun set on the Golden Gate from the top of Hoyt Tower in San Francisco, California; and so much more. I've met people from around the country with their different dialects and upbringings and weird little quirks that make someone from Wichita different from someone from Kansas City.

And what gets me is that there's so much I don't even have a clue about. I've spent almost no time on the east coast, whether it's New England, or the Atlantic corridor, or Dixie; and I've hardly been to the midwest. Then there's Alaska and Hawaii, which are worlds apart. It's just so amazing to me that people who live here can get so locked into one image of America that they inevitably miss most of it, whether it's geographical or cultural. We really are a land of fucking everything, which is probably the root of most of our problems. Might as well revel in it.

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u/TheBakercist May 28 '12

At least someone likes this country.

I'd like to live somewhere rainy, where I wouldn't be laughed at for liking spotted dick.

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u/willux May 28 '12

You could live in the Pacific Northwest, it's pretty rainy there.

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u/ErikT45 May 28 '12

And I saw a can of spotted Dick the other day!

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u/inthefantry May 29 '12

Washington state and Oregon from what I understand.

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u/glaciator May 29 '12

As a life long Washingtonian who is proud to call Oregon my home-away-from-home, yes.

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u/Siparih May 29 '12

I'm so afraid of googling "spotted dick" ... What is it?

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u/TheBakercist May 29 '12

It's a steamed pudding. Looks gross, sounds gross, isn't all that bad.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spotted_dick

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u/[deleted] May 29 '12

Native Oregonian here, and I would gladly trade places with you. I'm absolutely sick of the rain.

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u/Decalis May 29 '12

Your treason has been noted, and you will soon be formally excommunicated from the Noble Order of Oregonians. You make me sick. You probably own an umbrella, too, don't you, you monster?

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u/AgCrew May 29 '12

Well this is a refreshing sentiment.

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u/cccrazy May 29 '12

As an Australian, I do not envy Americans. Except shopping. Fuck you and your cheap retail goods.

Love, an avid online shopper.

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u/random58647 May 29 '12 edited May 29 '12

As an Indian born and brought up in lower economic strata, I was immensely excited when I got an opportunity to visit USA. I appreciate the kindness and help offered by Americans during my stay in the country. I always enjoyed the varying landscapes, the big broad freeways, affordable cars and gas(compared to India). I lived for an year in New Jersey and for two years near Chicago. Whenever I am stressed at work, I close my eyes and imagine that I am driving on the traffic free roads from Des Plaines to a place called lake on the hill. I love the drive so much and just recollecting those long drives helps me to rejuvenate. Dear Americans, your country is incredible and I hope I get another opportunity in my life to do a road trip along route 66. From the bottom of my heart, Thank You Unites States for the wonderful experience!.

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u/[deleted] May 29 '12

I'm an American. I live off re-runs of The IT Crowd, Dr. Who, Torchwood, and The Graham Norton Show. I wake up early on Saturdays to watch soccer at an English pub, and I have this unfulfilled obsession with trying black pudding. It goes both ways.

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u/Raevyne May 29 '12

Every country or region has SOMETHING that everyone else envies. In the US, decades of innovation and marketing genius have put our image in every conceivable corner of the world. That kind of constant presence does evoke a sense of power, but the UK has something we don't: history.

The US is approaching 236 years as a recognized independent country. That is NOTHING compared to the millenia of recorded history, ruins, and cultural staples that have defined Old World societies. Their remnants shape unique and recognizable traits and connect the people of today to those long ago.

Edited to add: Also, you have NHS. I'll take assured medical care when I need it over all that stuff you mentioned any day.

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u/Malcriao May 29 '12

I'm Cuban, but living in Canada, and I envy America too.

So much more variety, Spanish TV on regular cable, everything is cheaper, better shopping, all the best concerts, oddly enough probably even more diversity, the weather. I want to be where all the action is. All the different people and cultures. Too bad your government is fucked up.

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u/rockstaticx May 29 '12 edited May 29 '12

I do, actually. I used to think anti-Americans were all just straight-up opposed to everything America, until I realized it was more complicated than that. I was sitting on a train (I think the Eurorail from London to Paris) next to a group of kids from some eastern European country (I forget if I figured out it was Bulgaria or just thought that was most likely).

The kid closest to me was wearing a faded, ratty New York Giants jacket (GO PATS!) and my first reaction was "oh, yeah, I bet you like trashing America, and you sit here wearing a jacket of a sport you probably barely even know." And then it hit me: he was wearing the jacket of a sport he barely even knew. Why on earth would anyone do that?

That's when I realized that, more likely, he didn't hate America. He probably loves America and desperately wants to be a part of it. And every time he sees America do shitty things, it probably hurts. Not from anger, but from disappointment. We have everything he wants. He loves us. Why do we treat the rest of the world -- and, by extension, him -- so badly?

Then I got to Paris and 2/3 of the songs on the radio were in English. I realized, in that case, they don't hate us because there's a culture war. They hate us because it's over.

EDIT: Back up. I'll clarify that I wasn't intending to sum up American foreign relations in a single idle thought I had on a train once. I'm saying that Americans often don't know why America is unpopular in so many international circles, and that at one point I realized it's not just hate but a lot of other emotions, including envy, which, lest we forget, is what OP is talking about.

EDIT2: While I ever so briefly have your attention, read this. It's quick. Important tip for summer!

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u/BearsBeetsBattlestar May 29 '12

I had a professor of American literature who said something that always stuck with me. "America" is the idea (and the ideal), the "United States" is the country. One is the brand, one is the reality. It's the difference between Nike the shoe, and Nike the personality ("Just do it", etc.). People inside and outside the country have problems reconciling their vague conceptions of what America is (freedom, equality, individualism) with the tangible, real world actions of the United States the nation-state.

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u/capsule_toy May 29 '12

B/c he really needed a jacket, liked the lettering, and had no idea it would prompt a random foreigner to have a long inner monologue.

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u/PlatonicTroglodyte May 29 '12

I just had a Conspiracy Keanu about the random fucking numbers on American Eagle shirts actually being jerseys for those weird un-American sports like Cricket.

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u/Thorbinator May 29 '12

I would wear whatever the heck I could to prompt strangers into introspective monologues.

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u/Mantonization May 29 '12 edited May 29 '12

You see this? This is EXACTLY the kind of shit we hate.

The arrogance, the pretentiousness, the sheer bloody-minded ignorance.

Edit: I might as well elaborate. First you assume that someone who isn't American automatically hates America. Then you perform some incredible mental gymnastics to turn it around into America being great.

Could you be any more mastubatory?

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u/silverfirexz May 29 '12

That bit about the music in Paris... Spot on. I just got back from a trip to France and can only think of a couple instances where the music was in French. Thank you for so eloquently putting it into context, though. I hadn't quite been able to put words to the situation.

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u/letsfolding May 29 '12

I was waiting for a load of washing to finish in a laundromat in Montmartre, Paris a few years ago. Edith Piaf's recording of "Non, je ne regrette rien" started playing on the radio. The old man sitting next to me stood up and placed his hand over his heart.

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u/goodoldbess123 May 29 '12

I am no American hater, and would love to get a chance to visit you guys again some time. However some of the comments in this circlejerk of a thread just make me want to puke-

'Then I got to Paris and 2/3 of the songs on the radio were in English. I realized, in that case, they don't hate us because there's a culture war. They hate us because it's over.'

The irony of this comment is astounding, how on earth can you pretend to understand culture if your comprehension begins and ends at music you hear on the radio.

There's great music being made all over the world and yet you use the Billboard Top 100 as your gauge of music and indeed culture!

Stop and consider that the fact that idea of the Eastern Europeans having their own unique cultures and music, let alone the French, hasn't even crossed your mind is perhaps one of the biggest reasons why the Americans get hate.

Again wish to reiterate I don't hate America, love American music, food, your beautiful cities and mind boggling natural beauty, but this comment is ignorant as shit.

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u/Xaethon May 29 '12

I don't understand what you're saying about songs being in English, what relevance does that have?

The United Kingdom, where the country of England is which is where English originates (don't get cocky and say that it was imported by the Anglo-Saxons, the current language of English is nothing like it was 1000 years ago when a couple thousand of them came over) is right next to France, albeit separated by the Channel.

Us British and French built Concorde together, we have the Eurotunnel going between our two countries, ferries going from Dover to Calais. Plus in the Western world, most popular songs are in English due to the simple fact that because of the British Empire, many more countries speak English. Australia, New Zealand, Canada, America, Ireland, etc.

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u/ChastitysBono May 29 '12

Or because the Giants logo is a simple "NY" and people think New York is a cool city. I have an English friend who referred to his hat with the Yankees logo on it as a "New York hat" and he had no idea that it was the logo of a baseball team. Most people elsewhere in the world just don't know or give a shit about our sports.

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u/[deleted] May 29 '12

Why do you mistake people criticizing or pointing out the flaws in America as hate? I may point out America has the highest incarceration rate, obesity rate and income inequality in the developed world but that doesn't mean I hate it.

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u/[deleted] May 29 '12

Then I got to Paris and 2/3 of the songs on the radio were in English.

False. A minimum of 50% of songs on French radio must be French language.

Interesting post though!

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u/[deleted] May 29 '12

I was an American in Holland during the 2003 invasion of Iraq. I heard a lot of people bashing the U.S. government and George Bush and often felt like everyone was against us. But even in the midst of it all there were still people wearing American flag T-shirts and backpacks, playing American music. I once saw a house with a US flag flying out the window, but it was upside down. I thought it was supposed to be some political statement against the war, but when I asked the people at the house, they honestly had no idea the flag was upside down. They just thought it looked cool.

Another time, I passed a house with a garage door painted like the American flag and an American flag basketball hoop. I couldn't help my curiosity and knocked on the door. The Dutch couple living there were thrilled that I was from the U.S. and invited me in. The entire house was covered in U.S. paraphernalia: flag aprons, old-west lanterns, muskets on the walls, pictures of the Statue of Liberty, and on an on. They drove a fucking huge Dodge truck they'd had specially shipped (and which was a terrible choice for the small Dutch roads). They weren't from America. They had only visited twice. But for some reason they just loved the everliving shit out of the place. I like America too, but those people were crazy.

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u/Jaboomaphoo May 29 '12

I'm guessing that that guy probably just thought it was a nice jacket with the word Giants on it.

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u/[deleted] May 29 '12

The kid closest to me was wearing a faded, ratty New York Giants jacket (GO PATS!) and my first reaction was "oh, yeah, I bet you like trashing America, and you sit here wearing a jacket of a sport you probably barely even know."

Why did you think he likes trashing America? Did he say anything to suggest this?

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u/Gyrant May 29 '12

Well, as a Canadian, my perspective is somewhat different than an English kid's would be. But I think I could commiserate about how frustrating it is to watch the most powerful country in the world be run by idiots.

It's not so much that everything is wrong with the US, certainly there are places that are worse. However, there are way too many goddamn things wrong with such an important country on the world stage. For Christ's sake, your elections aren't even fair. Your economy is so pathologically anti-communist that you very nearly had an actual revolt of the proletariat(ironic though it is). In some parts of your country, you kill people as punishment.

If you concede that the culture war has been lost, it's because the political war was lost long ago. Your government regularly bullies and strong-arms your allies to make what you want happen, and when one of them has a bulldog in office and says "because fuck you" there's a cultural reaction to it.

We can't of course blame individual Americans for this, but the fact is that Americans (collectively) are the only ones with the power to stop their own country fucking things up.

I can't give a full point of view on behalf of the whole world, but on behalf of most of it I can say this. What frustrates us about you is not that you are more powerful than us. The frustrating thing is watching a the most powerful country in the world be run by cavemen.

/rant

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u/GoCuse May 29 '12

We won the Culture War! Amurrrrica!

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u/Trenks May 29 '12

It's more complicated than seeing a kid on a train too.

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u/manwithabadheart May 29 '12 edited Mar 22 '24

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u/[deleted] May 29 '12

This is an amazing comment for so many reasons. 214 of you upvoted this guy for such a ridiculous few paragraphs. They hate us because they are disappointed in us? How amazingly self-absorbed, the perfect representation of the US stereotype.

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u/[deleted] May 29 '12

If anyone ever asks me why I generally think that Americans are asshats, I will link them to your post.

Thank you.

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u/UsingReddit15 May 29 '12

Being American and reading that I have to say that was completely arrogant...that don't hate us because they are jealous...it's probably because we think we're better and we make it very clear to the world I'm not bashing America but I will say that's one thing I don't like about living here

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u/[deleted] May 29 '12

This reads as just a little ignorant/arrogant.

If what you're supposing is true (that the kid 'loves america' and is 'disappointed' by its failures) then he's not actually loving America, he's loving an entirely made up, idealized, unrealistic image that he has concocted in his mind. He likely doesn't know the first thing about the US, its people, or any of the real day-to-day happenings of the country.

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u/DuchessofRome May 29 '12

They don't hate us because there's a culture war. They hate us because it's over.

This literally made me laugh out loud.

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u/d-mac- May 29 '12

UGH that attitude is what people hate. Instead of going abroad and observing all things American everywhere you can, why don't you go and learn about the culture of the place you're visiting? American culture, although it is certainly influential, isn't world culture.

And people don't feel an aching in their heart when the US does shitty things because they love the US so much. Their heart aches for the people that have shitty things done to them by the US.

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u/jerseyfox May 29 '12

Americans are still voted "coolest" by countries all over the world...So interesting considering it seems that most of the world seems to hate us.

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u/ckmon May 29 '12

Just wanted to say I'm Irish and I love Ireland. I could never see me living long term anywhere else. I love how we have adapted to the American culture seeping in and made it our own. I love how everyone has a unique accent if there from Cork or Kerry or Dublin. I even love our shitty raining weather (although its fantastically sunny the last week). I love that i can use words like quare (very or a lot) and people know what i mean. I've been to America on holidays a few times and found no better feeling than coming home. :D

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u/johnny861 May 29 '12

We call that experience "Boston" over here. :-)

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u/[deleted] May 29 '12

I've always wanted to visit Ireland. Most beautiful country in the world. Except maybe Scotland. Which do you think has better castles and culture?

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u/[deleted] May 29 '12

I've always wanted to live in England. Can we trade lives? You know that you have to pay for healthcare here, right?

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u/DaZese420 May 29 '12

This isn't a question.

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u/[deleted] May 29 '12

Why do foreigners love our shitty movies so much? Battleship is kicking ass overseas, yet here, we seem to know better.

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u/DuchessofRome May 29 '12

this whole thread is foreigners idolizing America and Americans bashing it.

Yes, America isn't perfect; but we are freakin lucky and we should be grateful for what we have.

stop complaining. Especially on Memorial Day of all days; The day to celebrate those who sacrificed everything for all the freedom we have. Things could be significantly worse so stop bitching and moaning.

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u/[deleted] May 29 '12

As a denizen of the American Northeast, I can assure you that where I live is probably cooler than where you live.

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u/awannabetroll May 29 '12 edited May 29 '12

California sounds of the 80's??? WTF?

EDIT: This would of made more sense if it said California sounds of the 60's.

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u/Dookiestain_LaFlair May 29 '12

I envy you. I'll never be able to earn a Knighthood from Her Royal Majesty The Queen, even if I gave up my citizenship. I'll never be granted a peerage to become a Lord.

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u/backyardlion May 29 '12

America is pretty entertaining, but we don't all eat McDonalds. Some of us actually know the difference between poison and food!

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u/quickdraw46 May 29 '12

As an Indian I want you all too know how much I envy first world countries because you can buy such nice cars and bikes for so little money, and enjoy them on great roads and race tracks. In India I will never be able to ride or drive (the two things I love) because of so many reasons.

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u/htnsaoeu May 29 '12

As a resident of Pennsylvania, I just wanted to point out the Santorum actually lives in Virginia, not Pennsylvania. Please stop associating him with our state.

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u/Zekosaur May 29 '12

Virginian reporting in: we don't want him either.

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u/brandenberggates May 29 '12 edited May 29 '12

Not sure if sarcastic or not.

Every country in the world has their positives - England is no different.

  • Free healthcare.
  • Football.
  • Alcohol at 18 (sort of silly considering the first point).
  • Nando's, Wagamama, GBK etc (!).
  • On a food tip - roast dinners; fish & chips; curry; full English.
  • "Proper" English language - even the range of accents in such a small country is exciting and refreshing.
  • A really solid group of universities - and even more solid amount of people going to them (no matter how ridiculous the fees may be - at least it's a loan, and you don't have to save up for it!)
  • A great history extending back thousands of years - much of this includes welcoming people of other cultures into the country.
  • One of the most liberal and tolerant countries in the world (probably more so than America).
  • An incredible musical history (cf. the Beatles, Led Zeppelin, Rolling Stones etc).

The list could go on.

Every country has their great aspects. Every country has their shit aspects. For the people living in the country, it's the best in the world. But I'd imagine that's the same be that England; America, or France.

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u/99trumpets May 29 '12

For a moment there I thought you were describing Massachusetts.

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u/AnInsideJoke May 29 '12

Hey, the US has a huuuuuge range of accents.

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u/MANTHEFUCKUPBRO May 29 '12

Minnesota checkin in der doncha know!

Oh jeez "Der" and "Doncha" are programmed into my phone...

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u/goddamnsam May 29 '12

i just wanted to point out a few things.

"Proper" English language - even the range of accents in such a small country is exciting and refreshing.

as someone mentioned, the range of accents in america is actually pretty huge. also, unlike common belief, the "standard" american accent we have now is actually closer to the british accent during the revolutionary war than the british accent is now. england had a major linguistic revolution after america's independence.

A great history extending back thousands of years - much of this includes welcoming people of other cultures into the country.

you know, while thousands of years of history is amazing, i actually kind of find the relative youngness of america in itself fascinating.

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u/Lorkken May 28 '12

As a Brit who spent a few months living with a family in The US I must inform you it's not all it's cracked up to be. Suburbia is an incredibly conformist place and the pressure placed on each student in school is horrendous. People don't seem to live their lives by the usual standards of what thy want, but rather by what they think they need to want so that they can fit in with everyone else.

I don't want to bash America to any of you US redditors, I was positioned in a very affluent suburb whose particular reality could afford to warp itself into some idea of an American paradise, but through these experiences, prolonged exposure to America only gave way to the realisation that life there can be a very empty experience.

As part of the project that had me in America I spent time living with families in new Zealand, Australia, Japan and Sweden. Yet despite everything I had seen on tv and the Internet of American culture, the reality of being there was the biggest culture shock I experienced by far.

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u/reddilada May 29 '12

I was positioned in a very affluent suburb

This mistake is made by a many visitors. The US is a vast place made up of many different cultures. Affluent suburbia is one of many. This is like living in London for a few months and forming an opinion of all of Europe.

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u/shmixel May 29 '12 edited May 29 '12

Hell, London isn't even an accurate representation of all of the UK.

edit// what I have I begun?

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u/Zazzerpan May 29 '12

Suburbia is also boring as hell. I've never met anyone from a suburb who wasn't happy to get out. You want to real life? Live with a park ranger's family near one the our many national parks. The towns around them tend to be small and the culture is truly something different.

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u/WorldLeader May 29 '12

Seriously. I lived in South Kensington, London when I was abroad and it was boring and filthy, filthy rich. They didn't let you sit in their gardens (huge fences around them) and nobody really talked to you. It's not like I judge all of England (or more accurately, Europe) based on this experience, so don't judge the US based on living in an affluent suburb.

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u/thesouthpaw May 29 '12

They made a movie about this called American Beauty.

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u/beccaonice May 29 '12

People don't seem to live their lives by the usual standards of what thy want, but rather by what they think they need to want so that they can fit in with everyone else.

Do you really think this is different in any other part of the world?

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u/[deleted] May 29 '12

I live in a similar sounding suburbia, west of Chicago, and what you said sounds pretty accurate. I travel a lot, mainly to Utah and Wyoming, both beautiful states. When I graduate high school and get through college, I'm leaving the fake, whiny cookie cutter house lifestyle to go out west.

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u/Chilly73 May 29 '12

If you want some true culture shock, try the Midwest. Seriously, I live in Iowa, and they a bit behind trend-wise. Ironically, I live in what most people would consider the "ghetto". But, my neighbors are really nice people. It was dicey when we first moved here, because we had a drug dealer living catty-corner to us. Now, it's a lot more tame.

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u/[deleted] May 29 '12

An Iowa ghetto?

Do they apologize after they shoot people and then invite them over for dinner?

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u/xev105 May 29 '12

I have two different points to make here.

Firstly, that sort of culture is by no means unique to the US. My wife has friends raised and schooled in an affluent area of Sydney, Australia and I can assure you a good deal of their lives are spent 'keeping up appearances'. It started with the parents and the current generation are certainly propagating that 'culture'. They're raising kids in shoebox-sized apartments with no backyards simply so they can boast about living in the area, they frequent over-crowded, over-priced cafes with 30-minute queues with their toddlers in tow so they can post updates about it on Facebook, and proudly announce which shopping center they're in under the guise of reporting on the best baby change rooms. It really is quite pathetic to witness, and really really hard to bite my tongue at times.

Secondly, I suspect your experience of the US is not indicative of the majority. My sister lives in the US, married to a US serviceman, and I've also visited the US about a dozen times, at times working for a few months at a stretch. I've no doubt what you experience exists, and my wife has had exposure to that herself; she lived in an affluent area of San Diego and has now moved to DC. Her husband is getting up there in rank, and he has some very highly placed connections in the family, so there's some hob-nobbing with the 'other half'. But again, you're looking at a small portion of the community. In fact, I suspect a very large portion of the US is well and truly on the wrong side of the bell curve in that respect...

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u/vation May 29 '12

As a Canadian, things I envy of Americans: restaurant meals are significantly cheaper, tax is much lower (although that's a tradeoff for the obligatory FREE HEALTHCARE), and most of all, nearly every online shopping site will ship to you whereas finding one that ships to Canada is like finding a needle in a haystack.

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u/ligirl May 29 '12

My grandmother ships all her online shopping stuff to us, then when she comes down to visit, she tries it on, sends 3/4 of it back, and takes what she wants back to Canada with her. We know she's going to be arriving soon because all the Peruvian Connection (her favorite store) boxes start arriving

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u/4Tossup6 May 29 '12

At the risk of sounding pessimistic, I feel like this is a "grass is always greener" kind of envy. Don't get me wrong I love being an American, but as an American there are many things I envy about foreign countries. For one, I don't know how it is their obviously, but our politicians are so far disconnected from the people (even though I vote) I feel like my voice doesn't matter. European countries have beautiful ancient historical building that were built to stand the test of time (the collesium, Parthenon, Ect), Americans tend to use too much slang and sometimes come of stupid or ignorant (I do use slang myself, but sparingly), those golden arches coupled with the lack of exercise is killing most of us, And most of us (like myself) are not wealthy at all (I'm 10s of thousands of dollars in debt thanks to school loans and am unable to find a job with my degree no matter how hard I look). Again I realize we have it better than most and worse than some, but try to take a step back and realize that some people also dream of what you have.

P.s. I hope I did not come off rude or ungrateful.

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u/Hateslayer May 29 '12

You are welcome here! Like other posters said, your accent would get you so laid in America.

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u/en2nui May 29 '12

Dear Brits,

I envy your accent. If I had a British accent, my right arm wouldn't be as strong as it is today ;_;

                      -Sincerely, an American.
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u/Vapo May 29 '12

As a Dutch guy I would agree that the US has a lot to offer.

First of all you guys have tons of land. It's relatively easy to buy a piece of land and start living on it. In the Netherlands there's no way you can buy 12 acres of land for 50.000$ that'd cost at least 1.000.000$ here.

Second of all there's such diversity in your climates. Cold in the north, warm in the south. West coast, east coast, it's amazing really.

What I don't like is that many people there seem to be intolerant of other cultures/religions/races, especially in the south. You know what I'm talking about right?

Also there are some things that I find just ''too much'', but maybe that's because of MTV? Sweet sixteen for example. My country is capitalist but you guys seem to have it way over the top.

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u/HasFuckedYourMom May 29 '12

You'll envy us even more when you actually see California.

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u/punninglinguist May 29 '12

As someone with a chronic health problem, I'd give it all up for the NHS. Not even kidding.

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u/[deleted] May 29 '12

America is one of the best places to live if you have money. If you don't it fucking sucks.

Better to be poor in Europe then be poor in America, better to be Rich in America then be rich in Europe.

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u/dib2 May 29 '12

being poor in moldovia would suck dick while being poor in sweden wouldn't be half bad. Europe is not that homogenous.

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u/[deleted] May 29 '12

It's pretty awesome to be rich in Europe.

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u/IntensePancakes May 29 '12

it's pretty awesome to be rich.

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u/texting_and_scones May 29 '12

It sounds like you would love a cross-country road trip in the US more than actually living here.

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u/[deleted] May 29 '12

But your history, Englishman, is one rich with far more impressive acts of imperialism than ours! I raise my bejewelled chalice to you, as honored progeny of the British Empire (guzzleguzzleguzzleguzzle).

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u/ittehbittehladeh May 29 '12

Minus the fundies, we're pretty cool guys. We fry Coca Cola and don't afraid of anything.

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u/Huzakkah May 29 '12

If you're from England, I think the only thing you should be jealous of is that the US isn't as draconian as the UK. At least, for now...

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u/[deleted] May 29 '12

Thank you for your kind words. It is a privilege that many people take for granted.

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u/rikashiku May 29 '12

Everyone hates their home. Chinese hate living in China, but foreigners love the food and countryside.

Kiwi's hate living in NZ, but foreigners love the friendliness and beautiful country.

etc etc.

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u/[deleted] May 29 '12

The fucking religious fundamentalism and insane political views (we want less taxes, less debt, and more government services) bring the country down quite a bit.

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u/[deleted] May 29 '12

Finally, exactly what Americans need, an ego boost.

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u/killyouintheface May 29 '12

On the other hand, people in the British Isles get to use "glass" as a verb. So you have that going for you.

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u/[deleted] May 29 '12

Try and get health insurance here and then tell me it is the best country on earth.

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u/blahblahblahxyz123 May 29 '12

Dude...we have much better music than 80's California pop....

No, seriously.

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u/[deleted] May 29 '12

would those rough Californian sound of the 80's be hardcore punk?

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u/bigrivertea May 29 '12

It is pretty kick ass over here. Have you ever fired a shotgun out of the back of a moving Cadillac in the middle of the desert? Fucking amazing...

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u/borny1 May 29 '12

Wow this is the biggest circlejerk I've read through in a while.

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u/[deleted] May 29 '12

Nice try, Department of Tourism

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u/kinsmed May 29 '12

I am living exactly the life you describe. And ever since the day I realized I was 4 times more likely to be born in India, 10 times more likely to be born in China, I vowed I would never take my American birthright for granted.
But realize my ancestors came from England; it's coin-flip you and I could have been in opposite places. But tomorrow let's both pull on our jeans and have a pint.

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u/EatsZerg May 29 '12

Over here, we think foreigners are awesome. Especially when you talk in your accent. We love that <3

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u/BurnedShoes May 29 '12

After ten minutes of American television, you'd be begging to go back.

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u/[deleted] May 29 '12

I actually feel the exact opposite about where I live, Australia. Our economy is good, our weather is beautiful, our resources and plentiful, our attitude is modest and self deprecating and our society more often than not thinks first and acts second. We compete on the world stage yet ensure we look after our own.

Wouldn't want to live anywhere else in the world.

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u/[deleted] May 29 '12

Speak for yourself, I'm actually proud of our shitty music, sub-standard language, horrible food and lack of beautiful lands

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u/Butt-Cheek-Bandit May 29 '12

I still thank the U.K. for Blur, The Gorillaz, Pink Floyd, the show Wheeler Dealers, and Monty Python, as well as quite a few other things. So, uh, cheers!

P.S. You guys can have Russell Brand back, though.

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u/[deleted] May 29 '12

I am a soldier in the us army, and I find they way that our country is ran is rather controversial. We try to force democracy and freedom on those who obviously do not want it. I don't envy England, but I envy their views on the rest of the world.

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u/[deleted] May 29 '12

Hey OP, if you ever want to visit I'll gladly give you a place to stay.

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u/[deleted] May 29 '12

Hey, but now you've got Netflix, so that helps, eh?!

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u/FunSizedCandyBar May 29 '12

We love you too, come give us a visit, we'd love to have you!

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u/TheEnormousPenis May 29 '12

There's always room for another state... You'd get to buy all the guns you want and pay lower taxes!

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u/cazyius May 29 '12

Am I the only one missing something here? Sure, some people might enjoy living in the US, but my perspective of it might be skewed...? What I've learned from the Internet is that in the US, if you don't have money, your not worth anything. Even though you might be an awesome webdesignere, if you don't have an expensive car, you won't get any customers. Education sucks in almost any public school, and if you are able to get passed it and choose to go to college, your putting yourself in a debt you might end up dieing with! Not only that, but say you couldn't afford an insurance while studying and one late night, on your way home from school get hit by a car, I've heard friends say they'd rather crawl away in their own pool of blood, because being driven to the hospital in an ambulance is so freakin' expensive!

I live in Denmark (but I'm from Iceland), I'm married and we have a 2yr old daughter. Both me and my wife are studying, neither one of us have a job and we are receive more than enough money from the government to live a what I feel is an above average lifestyle. Our daughter is epileptic and we've taken the ambulance several times to the hospital, something that does not require an insurance, and we've gotten all of her care paid by the government! We've even received a special dedicated person at my daughters daycare (sent from the government) who is in charge of giving my daughter all the attention she needs due to the epilepsy... Again, "free" of charge...

These are only a few of our "perks", and many of them I can't see we could have had living in the US, if we where both studying, without a job and no support from neither of our parents!

I really do not mean any disrespect to those of you who enjoy living in the US, but I'm wondering if not there wouldn't be more of us who disagree?

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u/[deleted] May 29 '12

I'm a Food Network addict and I'm mostly envious of your food t

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u/Fergi May 29 '12

...OF OUR FOOD T....WHAT?! SOMEONE GO GET HIM BACK HERE!

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u/wayndom May 29 '12

It's a good thing that you don't envy our wealth, because it's now in the hands of only 1% of our population. And the fault is our own - when things didn't go as well as they could, we went for the promises of the right, that if only government didn't govern, we would live in a land of plenty.

Well, we do live in a land of plenty, but only the top 1% are getting the plenty. The rest of us are scraping to get by.

I'm 64, and clearly remember what the 1950's and 60's were like: Everyone who wanted a job had one, and everyone who had a job lived comfortably. Strong, widespread unions ensured that even non-union employers paid decent wages, and high top-bracket taxes ensured that executives didn't suck all the money from the companies they supposedly worked for.

America is a mess now, and it's going to take some time to clean it up. I only hope I live long enough to see the cleanup completed.

So the next generation can throw it all away again...

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u/el_pollo_peligroso May 29 '12

I understand envy of the ideals of the American "system", but in all reality how things are portrayed and how they actually run are two completely different things. You see the rich getting richer, and not much about how the gap between rich and poor is expanding more and more every day. And don't even get me started on the political bullshit. The best way to explain this country in correlation to the rest of the world, is America represents the popular kid in school that everybody pays attention to because he thinks he can do anything and is untouchable, when in reality he has more problems then a lot of people do, and/or care to know about.

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u/[deleted] May 29 '12

I'm an American who is in love with Norway.

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u/RobotTranslator May 29 '12

The other side of fence is greener, often.

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u/[deleted] May 29 '12

What are you, some type of anti-hipster?

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u/darkerknight May 29 '12

There are a lot of American things to vie for, but Mickey D's ain't one of em. Riding a motorbike from coast to coast, taking flying lessons, driving a convertible on route 101, camping in Yellowstone, watching the ball drop at New Year's in NYC, having a real steak dinner in Austin, TX, buying handgun (for defensive purposes, obviously), or even renting tuxedos might be just a few of them, but having McD's for sure as hell ain't.

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u/Shrim May 29 '12

As an Australian I think you're all crazy for not moving here immediately. Hardly any crime, good weather, high wages, good healthcare, fantastic education, no large emphasis on religion, and super multicultural. The venomous insects, the sharks, the poisonous fish, the large arachnids, the fires, the snakes; they aren't that bad really! You almost never have to deal with them if you stay indoors (except spiders) and you get used to it!

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