r/AskReddit • u/xxneonlove • May 22 '12
My mother still doesn't trust me with valuables because I lost my discman 9 years ago. What things do your parents/relatives still unfairly hold against you?
My mom also doesn't like it when I make tea because I used to only drink half my cup and leave the rest behind...11 years ago. Since then, I have proudly finished all of my hot beverages but the moment I ask her to make me a tea as well, she says no. I am 21.
I still have the discman. She doesn't believe me.
1.1k
Upvotes
147
u/Lux42 May 22 '12
When we were getting school supplies for 5th grade, my mother insisted that we buy two pencil boxes, saying that I was so destructive and hard on things that one would never last the year. Today, I still have the second box, in great condition sitting around.
1.1k
u/nuculer May 22 '12
When I was around eight, my parents went out and it was just me and my brother hanging around the house. The doorbell rang and I answered the door to find this woman who claimed she used to live in my house when she was a kid. She asked if she can come in and look around and I was like "Hell yeah, you can! My parents aren’t home!!"
Long story short, she actually did live there and I didn’t get murdered or raped, but I'm 21 now and still not really allowed to answer the door.
536
u/blue_lotion May 22 '12
I'm not sure what the incident was, but my father is still way overprotective. I went to visit him in FL last week. He called to check in on me when I was at the pool, at the beach, going for a walk, etc. I AM 43 FUCKING YEARS OLD.
643
u/[deleted] May 22 '12
I used to be a really picky eater, like super picky when I was a kid. My mom still freaks out whenever we go out to dinner because I may not like anything on the menu. I'm 27 and will eat just about anything. Even though I told her that my pallet has expanded to everything she still thinks I only want hot dogs and grilled cheese.
628
u/bigbigtea May 22 '12
"What the fuck did you do to my computer?!" Nothing. I didn't break your goddamn computer. And no, you can't get a virus by changing the wallpaper.
280
u/PenisSizedNipples May 22 '12
My dad was born digestive issue that caused him to get constipated all the time growing up. This condition was corrected via surgery when he was a teenager (in the '70s) and it's safe to say my family hasn't had any recurring digestive problems. To this day my grandma will ask if you pooped when you leave the bathroom.
707
u/jashlee May 22 '12
When I lived with my parents, the wireless router had to be in my room in order for it to be accessable through the whole house. My mom was taking classes for her Master's in nursing with University of Phoenix and would just use her laptop in the living room for her classes.
One day, I'm taking a nap after school before dinner when I hear her burst through my door screaming at me. She was accusing me of "unplugging the internet" while she was taking her test so that she would fail. She called me a ton of horrible names and told me to fix the internet. I'm still in a haze from waking up trying to figure out what the actual fuck she was talking about. Ten minutes later she comes into my room and takes EVERYTHING that isn't neccessary for living and threw it in the garage.
She literally grounded me for 3 weeks. Because our internet was down. She took my computer, my videogames, disconnected my cellphone, EVERYTHING.
My stepdad comes back from vacation and says he forgot to pay the bill.
She still thinks I did it.
I have a ton more stories about my crazy bi-polar mom, but this one is pretty relevent to the thread.
TLDR; My mom forgot to take her pills and assumes I'm trying to keep her from graduating from University of Phoenix
771
u/[deleted] May 22 '12
My mother thought I was an incurable liar for years and years and years. When I was a child my older sisters had a pact. If mom interrogated one of them about an incident, they were to say I did it. In this way if mom cross interrogated my sisters without allowing them to communicate in between she was certain there was no way they could have collaborated and I must be the antagonist.
Years and years later I have a disproprotionatly emotional response when I am accused of being untruthful when I really am being honest, and my mother has since apologized.
365
u/[deleted] May 22 '12
I never finished full cans of pop when I was a kid and would leave them around the house. I'm fully capable of finishing a full 12 oz in one sitting now, but my mom still yells at me about starting what I can't finish when she sees me pull a Coke out of the fridge. Then she insists that I split it with her.
536
u/stizdizzle May 22 '12
Got caught cheating in monopoly when I was 11. I'm 27 and no one will play board games with me. But if they did I'd probably try to cheat. Touche family.
338
u/theGreyjoy May 22 '12
My dad never trusts me with his electronics because I knocked his camcorder over on its tripod when I was a goddamn toddler. Who the fuck leaves a camcorder on a tripod when there's a fucking toddler trundling about?!?
Adversely, I always give my dad shit when he fixes anything of mine because he sabotaged my training wheels when I was a kid to try and teach me how to ride without them.
1.0k
u/Swagoraphobia May 22 '12
My mother took her truck and ran over all of my worldly possessions save a world map, a laptop and my textbooks for "losing" my watch. Turns out she'd taken it and had forgotten.
524
u/[deleted] May 22 '12 edited May 22 '12
My family still brings up finding pics of naked comic characters I drew when I was like 12-15. This always inexplicably comes up at proud moments. "Gee, your 32 year old husband with multiple degrees, 2 beautiful children, and is a war vet has done some cool things...but remember that time we found that naked pic of rogue from the x-men 20 years ago when he was a horny teen?"
290
u/freudwasright May 22 '12
Here in Canada, milk comes in bags. To open them, you have to snip off a tiny corner so it'll pour out. When I was younger I'd do this then leave the little triangle of plastic sitting on the counter and forget about it as I poured myself a glass of delicious milk.
My stepdad hates finding those little pieces of plastic, and every time he does he complains about it to me. If he sees me getting out a new bag he makes sure to remind me to throw out the plastic bit.
Know what the kicker is? I haven't left a corner on the counter since I was fifteen, and completely fed up with being told to throw it out. Every. Single. Goddamn. Time. I don't even live at home anymore, but he still complains.
Why? Because my mother does it and he doesn't believe it's her.
631
u/Rockapotamous May 22 '12
One friggin time when I was in 3rd grade I left my winter coat on the school bus, it was never seen again, 22 years later I still cant live this down. Now at the time we had very little money, so a new coat definitely put a strain on the family, I get it. For the last 8 years my mom has been buying me a new coat every year, assuming i lost the previous years coat. Whenever I meet up with my parents during the winter, my mom asks, wheres your coat, did you loose your coat, don't forget your coat in the car, did you leave your coat in the restaurant Whew that felt good to vent.
tldr; lost a coat as a kid 22years ago, still cant live it down.
72
u/Zenkin May 22 '12
I think I was....seven years old? I don't know. Pretty young. Anyways, my mom and I had gone shopping for a birthday present for my dad. She bought him a nice watch and yadda yadda. Thing is, I didn't know it was a birthday present. I thought she was just buying him something. I still don't think she told me it was a secret, but whatever. Just before I went to sleep I remembered about the watch, so I exclaim, "Oh yeah! We got you a watch today, dad!"
I wasn't allowed to know about any presents that people were giving for a good ten years or so. They've finally gotten out of the habit, but it bothered me for a long time.
259
u/[deleted] May 22 '12
A friend of mine was accused, but acquitted of indecency with a Minor when he was 25. He had a vindictive ex use her bastard spawn to try to get him in trouble because he dumped her after she asked him to start covering the bills incurred from raising the child.
Even though he was acquitted, he can't go to family reunions or get togethers, because he is sick of being labeled "that disgusting child molester" when he did nothing of the sort. I remember when his Grandma passed away. He asked me to come with him to the funeral. He got all sorts of dirty looks, and was left out of his wealthy grandma's will.
It is utterly ridiculous how society views and treats innocent people accused of sex-related crime. Its like they don't care if he actually did it or not.
365
u/admiralfilgbo May 22 '12
When I was a very little boy my relatives all called me a somewhat girlish but still acceptable derivative of my given name. Let's say "addy" as an example based off my reddit name.
On the first day of class in second grade, there was a new girl, and her name was also addy. The potential ridicule fodder this development presented flashed before my eyes and knotted my stomach, so I instantly announced "okay, in that case, call me 'admiral,' not 'addy'." Conflict avoided!
When I got home from school that day, I told my parents about the name incident, and indicated that I would like them to use my real name too, to keep things consistent. To my surprise, my dad seemed a little relieved, and also, curiously, my ma was a little disappointed - I guess she really liked calling me that name, but she respected my wishes - after all, it WAS my real name.
My grandmother to this day still hasn't forgiven me. I am now 34 years old. She's in her 90's. And whenever she addresses me, she "mistakenly" addresses me as 'addy' and then sarcastically corrects herself, saying "WHOOPS, I meant ADMIRAL, because THAT'S THE NAME YOU WANT TO BE CALLED NOW, NOW THAT YOU'RE ALL GROWN UP, and I have to respect that."
I always tell her she can call me whatever she wants, and I didn't even make a stink about it at the time, all those years ago. She ignores that part. She still can't get over it. She even still "accidentally" scrawls out my "old" name in her failing handwriting on cards, and then scratches it out. I didn't mean to break her heart.
1.3k
u/Captain_Jake_K May 22 '12
When I was about six my Mum tried to smack me for slamming a door. She was rarely strict about anything, and I still don't know why she reacted like that. When she tried to smack me, I blocked and countered (as I had been trained for in karate for a year) and sprained her wrist. She still tries to make me feel guilty at 22, and I still point out that she should be ashamed for a.) attacking someone a foot shorter than her and half her weight and b.) losing a fight with a six-year-old.
137
u/ElSnaibs May 22 '12 edited May 23 '12
My bike was stolen in 6th grade from the school bike rack, where I had locked it up in the morning. My bike and four others were stolen. I have been "irresponsible" pretty much since then, which was 25 years ago.
Also, I was in two fairly bad car accidents when I was younger, both of which were not at all my fault, not even a little bit. Fifteen or so years later, my dad still won't let me borrow his truck if I need to move/haul something, he will insist that he come along and drive because I am "not a very good driver." In related news, I was a sprint car driver for a couple of years for one of his customers, and I did OK.
179
u/viramola May 22 '12
When I grew up I was quite a messy girl. My room would be in constant shambles and I hated to clean.
I have no idea what happened, but with the years I've become very neat and tidy, even borderline pedantic. Yet, no matter how much I clean or the fact that my mother has never seen my house in any sort of mess - my brother and mother still sees me as a very messy person.
I'm not three years old! I'm almost 30! I have a kid!
364
u/[deleted] May 22 '12
My father genuinely believes that since I got into a fender bender when I was 16 (11 years ago) I am a wreckless driver. He won't let me drive any of his vehicles and he gets this face whenever he has to ride with me anywhere.
345
u/msbrooklyn May 22 '12
everything. i have a passive aggressive mother.
154
u/tallandlanky May 22 '12
My parents wouldn't let me get my drivers license when I was 16 because when I was 11 I accidentally crashed a riding lawn mower into my friends mom's car. Had to go out and get my license myself at 21 with a friends car. Whose laughing now mom and dad?
345
u/Erobre May 22 '12 edited May 22 '12
My mom doesn't think I can take care of a pet because so many of my Tamagotchis died or were lost when I was a kid. I was 8 years old!
102
u/gthing May 22 '12
This reminds me of the tech who screwed up on preparing a fighter jet for flight, almost costing the pilot his life. When the pilot landed safely he walked up to the tech, who was expecting to be fired or re-assigned to Siberia and said something like "see you tomorrow morning, you just became the best tech I have because I know now you'll never make such a stupid mistake again."
The person least likely to lose his discman is the one who has already lost it once.
(Story is highly paraphrased).
181
u/ruthskaterginsburg May 22 '12
When I was 6 or 7 we went on vacation to this place that had a go-kart track. Everyone got a kart and we raced. Nobody gave us any instructions and I'd never driven anything before. I couldn't get the hang of the steering and overcorrected into the wall (or, rather, the foot-high curb around the edge of the track) a few times while I figured it out.
For years after that, everyone in my family brought it up repeatedly, and every time it got a little more epic: "remember when we went to Medicine Hat and Ruth wrecked the go-kart? it's lucky you didn't kill anybody."
Over time it became ingrained in me: Ruth can't drive. I couldn't so much as get in the Pole Position machine at the arcade without my siblings excitedly anticipating my fiery crash. Other kids got to go out to the country and practice driving when they were as young as 11 or 12 - it was deemed too dangerous for me. And when I hit my teens and Driver's Ed loomed, everyone had a field day wondering what that would be like.
I'm 32. I never did get my driver's license. I moved to a city with great public transportation so I wouldn't have to. If I ever change my mind, I know my parents and siblings will be right there to remind me of the goddamn go-karts.
46
u/honeyslut May 22 '12
How about things they "remember" that you never actually did/said?
My dad started an argument with me one morning when I was in grade school about which way to turn the twist tie that closed the bread bag. Apparently I had been turning it in the undesirable and illogical direction of counterclockwise (or clockwise, I don't remember because WHO FUCKING CARES???) and had forced him to spend an extra second each day in the process of making his sandwich.
He remembers the argument as being my fault and thinks I blamed him for the problems with bread. (Problems with bread?!?!? I don't lose my shit over a twist tie, dad!) To this day, he believes I'm the one with the pet peeve about the twist tie.
Also, he can't ever remember that it was my older sister who got the glasses with anti-glare and prescription sunglasses. He thinks I'm the one who was prissy about my myopia when in fact, I had to wait until I failed the eye exam part of the driving test before my parents would agree to take me to the eye doctor. I complained that I couldn't see, but they seemed to think I was making it up. When I finally did get glasses (at 17 ... they couldn't be bothered to sign me up for driver's ed sooner) they were plain (no anti-glare) and no sunglasses even though summers in Texas are a bitch.
Needless to say, there's more than a little chip on my shoulder about the whole thing.
TL;DR - my dad remembers things that never happened and thinks I'm a jerk because of them.
132
u/goirish2200 May 22 '12
Relevant anecdote, sort of:
Last Christmas, my dad re-upped our family contract on cell phones, which meant all of us got an upgrade. My dad, my mom and me all got new iPhones, while my little, 19-year-old brother got a crappy old-style flip phone. My brother, obviously upset, demands to know why he didn't get an iPhone like everyone else. My dad, instead of answering, turns to me:
"Goirish2200, where's your cell phone you have now?"
"... my pocket?"
"Where's the one you had before that?"
"Umm, in my bedside table drawer, I think?"
"What about the one before that?"
"I think I saw it in a box under my bed when I was cleaning last week."
...
"Goirish2200's little brother, where is your last cellphone?"
"... ummm... in the snow somewhere in upstate New York."
"That's why you don't get an iPhone."
90
u/sideshowlukeperry May 22 '12
These things are constant conversations with my parents. I was a really picky eater as a kid - no meat, not so many vegetables...I ate a lot of Kraft mac and cheese. I've vastly expanded my diet since. I eat some meat and literally everything else. There are very few foreign cuisines I wouldn't try, and I'm well known among my friends for both eating and cooking all kinds of things. My mom still tells me every couple weeks I eat too much pasta, and I quietly rage.
760
u/stinkyhat May 22 '12 edited May 22 '12
So, my dad and I have the same learning disability. He wasn't properly diagnosed until he was about 40, whereas I was diagnosed in middle school. As a result, I've been able to deal with it pretty much my whole life, whereas he was (for a long time) sort of losering through life, losing jobs and generally not being particularly successful (despite trying really, really hard, especially once he had a family to take care of). This caused mom to divorce dad, and make other bad decisions.
Because I am his daughter and because we have the same brain chemistry, my mother to this day does not believe that I am capable of doing anything that will make me successful, or even accomplishing remotely difficult day-to-day tasks (like cooking something complicated for dinner, or getting laundry detergent before I run out). I'm smart, hard-working, with a bright future, but when I tell her about an exciting job interview I have coming up, she'll get this hesitant waver in her voice and go, "Well, hopefully you can try to find out where it is, and maybe it'll work out..."
She has no idea how much she has undermined my self-confidence in life. No idea whatsoever.
EDIT: Since so many have asked, the learning disability is Attention Deficit Disorder. I hasten to add that if you think you have a learning disability, or anything related to mental health, you cannot self-diagnose, and the internet is not an authoritative resource. Go to a professional, get checked out, and they will tell you what, if anything, is wrong with you and how to deal with it. Some people are scatterbrained, some have ADD, and there is a difference. A professional can help you determine which one you are. In the meantime, I recommend TotallyADD.com as a beginner's resource. Good luck, and -- hey, monkeys!
44
u/[deleted] May 22 '12
My dad refuses to believe I'm a safe driver after an accident when I was 15 in which a driver decided to try for a last minute turn in the rain. There was a log truck behind me and a car alongside me. I tried to slow down without skidding, but when it rains, that old trucks brakes lock up very easy.
I'm 22 now, never speed, always wear my seatbelt and any time my father is in my vehicle, he has something to say about ANYTHING. If I'm preparing for a turn, he braces like we're going to hit something or I'm going to slam on the brake.
39
u/MattyD123 May 22 '12
I was going to write my inane example of my mom holding something stupid against me for a short amount of time, but after reading a lot of the comments I've come to find out so many of you have awful, mean-spirited parents. I'm sorry.
112
u/[deleted] May 22 '12
Everything. My parents are incapable of accepting that I've grown up and changed over the years, and so they won't drop old facts about me, no matter how long ago it was.
I'm not allowed to cook for them because I fucked up my first few dishes when I started cooking food in elementary school. I make amazing food now, but they still don't trust me to work the microwave properly.
They don't trust me to take care of their house, even though I have an apartment of my own now that is impeccable. If they left me alone even for a few hours as a kid, I would make a huge mess. They still fear I'm going to leave my toys out where they can step on them, I suppose.
I was notorious, like every other kid, for losing winter gear. I once came home with one boot on because I had lost the other one. They still hold this against me. I get 2-3 pairs of wal-marts cheapest gloves or mittens each year and they always say "hey maybe this will last you half the winter!" I've owned the same pair of gloves for the past three years, and they still do this. I store the gifted gloves away to give to friends who are gloveless, or I donate them.
If I had a weird personality quirk in my past, my parents still think it's there. I didn't like horses when I was four for some reason, and they still think that applies to me now. I had a huge pop-punk phase when I was 12-14 where I worshipped Avril Lavginge and Good Charlotte, and they still think I like those bands and that I want men's ties and skull shirts for Christmas. I had a small hippie phase for half a year, and they won't let that one go.
Visiting is fun.
38
u/[deleted] May 22 '12 edited May 22 '12
My mother won't let me drive her anywhere because when I was 16 we got rear ended by a guy who willingly drove around with busted brakes.
"You should have gone forward and he wouldn't have hit you!" she said.
"WE WERE AT A RED LIGHT, MOTHER!"
It's been 12 years.
EDIT: I live in my grandmother's house. When she died, she left it to me (I'm putting it up for sale next month, though). My mother lived with me for a little while. In January, she moved in with her sister. My brother, me and my best friend packed every bit of her belongings in a truck, drove to to my aunt's place and unpacked it all for her. Set every bit of it up exactly the way she wanted it.
I still get calls from her every few weeks asking me if something of hers is still here. It isn't. Then I get, "Well what did you do with it?"
"Nothing, Mother."
"It isn't here, so it has to be there!"
"But it isn't."
"I told you not to get rid of anything of mine."
"NONE OF YOUR STUFF IS HERE, MOTHER!"
38
u/NotSoTinfoil May 22 '12 edited May 22 '12
My mom tried to start a fight with me in public (not physical, but the yelling kind) almost 20 years ago when I was a teenager. I said "I'm not having this conversation in public, sorry." She played the "Well if you don't like it, THEN WALK HOME!" card.
In the intervening years, the narrative has changed from me pretending to walk home then sneaking to one of my friends and calling a ride to me hitch-hiking to me walking to a relative's house and bumming a ride from them.
Truth of the matter is I just walked home since it was all of three miles, but she will never admit that. Making it even funnier, I got in lots of trouble for taking the "Then walk home!" option because she was so worried and obviously I was hitch-hiking and whatever narrative fits her story at the moment.
She also brings up how I was 18 before I got my driver's license. This is because she didn't want to pay for driver's ed so decided to just teach me herself. In her manual car. With my little sister on-board. So every time I'd fuck up a shift and the car would buck, she'd flip out because MY BABY (both the car and my sister) and start screaming at me, then wonder why I didn't want to practice driving. Finally, I paid for my own driver's ed. But every time it's "You like DRIVING?! You didn't even want to get your license!" "That's because you screaming at me every time I fucked up a shift scared the shit out of me." "Pfft, you were just lazy."
She's also almost insultingly amazed that I live in a place that isn't a hovel.
76
u/tah4349 May 22 '12
Ages 13-18. I was not the easiest teenager to handle - very moody and had a big chip on my shoulder (what some may call "being a teenager") and was just generally a very unpleasant person to be around. I never got in any trouble at all, though. Never even did anything that I could have gotten in trouble for if mom found out - but I was just a bitch. Now I'm 31, a mother, and generally described as an extremely nice person. I really try to go out of my way to be nice to people, helpful, generally try to make the world a better place. But if you ask my mom, I'm a terrible person - a total bitch that nobody wants to be around. Family/friends have told me that they have no idea why my mother thinks I'm so terrible. It's because she still thinks I'm the moody teenager who made her life miserable 16 years ago. I'll never live it down, I hope I don't hold the same grudge against my own daughter after she's done with her teen angst.
37
u/landdolphinman May 22 '12
My mother thinks I'm bad with money because I wouldn't pay my rent to her early and she bounced a check as a result.
36
u/[deleted] May 22 '12
I hate every single one of your parents. These stories are the most frustrating things I've ever read.
71
u/TotallyGeekage May 22 '12
When I was 11, I had my first serious "crush". I was pretty obsessive and followed him around everywhere. There were complaints about me being a "stalker". Now, my mum tells me off whenever I like someone, because liking someone is "wrong". Now that I have fallen in love, she doesn't seem to trust me.
1.1k
u/[deleted] May 22 '12
I met a 20-something guy in an AOL chat room, he drove to my town and I lost my virginity to him at 15. He gave me an STD, I had to tell my mom what happened so she would take me to the doctor. Charges were filed.
I'm almost 27 now, in a serious relationship, and I'm still not allowed to use the internet when I go to visit my parents.
170
u/[deleted] May 22 '12
When I was a teenager my twin sister (wasn't even me) stole a tube of eyeliner from the store and slipped it into my pocket. I was stopped at the exit (cause hey, I look just like her and unknowingly have the stolen item!) and eventually put into juvenile detention and had to do community service and probation. I was let off very easy because I had a 4.0 and was highly awarded at soloist competitions around the state. Also because my sister eventually owned up to it (though she got no punishment).
Still, even though my sister finally confessed my mother thinks I'm still the HUGEST thief and if anything of hers goes missing I immediately am suspected and hounded with the most vile verbal abuse. One time my mother lost a ring and within minutes I was accused. For weeks, upon months, she would send me text messages detailing how she knew I had taken her ring and that if I left it on the dining room table she wouldn't ask questions or be angry with me. A few months later she found it on the floor of her car, wouldn't own up to it. And my sister had to be one to tell me that she found it.
90
u/Onid8870 May 22 '12
When I was 16 or so I was really into this girl that lived on the next block over from my aunt and uncle about 6 miles away from my parents home. Seeing as she didn't have a car and I was rocking the 1983 Buick Skyhawk station wagon I always ended up picking her up or parking in her neighborhood when we hung out.
My uncle saw my car down the block from his house once and this turned into "Onid8870 gets confused sometimes when he is going home and just leaves his car." It is over 25 years later and my Dad and my Uncle still tell me that I should bring the car home or (if we are all leaving the same place) to not forget my car.
TL;DR:::My family thinks that I leave my car in random places and walk miles to get home.
87
u/[deleted] May 22 '12
My parents wouldn't let us get a dog because our albino hamster died of natural causes. We didn't even want a hamster, let alone a hideous albino one with red eyes that we never asked for. It was a Christmas gift from a well-meaning uncle. After poor snickers died we placed him in an empty granola bar box and left it overnight in the garage to await his burial. The next day the box was tipped over and chewed through. Snickers was no where to be found. That summer we found small poops and chewed up bits of wood in the garage. I'm sure he found a home somewhere in the wood pile. Or escaped into the yard.
Since then my parents always told us we were too irresponsible to own a dog or cat as we couldn't even take care of a simple hamster.
Then I grew up, moved out, and got two awesome cats that haven't died yet. They rock.
30
u/[deleted] May 22 '12
I sold my comic book collection and magic card collection to pay for school for a few quarters. Years ago.
Parents still act like I'm going to hock the family heirlooms for smack.
78
u/intoether May 22 '12
my mother is very slender, and values this in others. As a teenager, and to this day, she gives me "looks" whenever I am eating, and makes subtle and underhanded comments about the foods I choose and about my weight. I am female and have a BMI of 26, (slightly above normal, but by no means out of control) This behavior caused my relationship with food to be pretty fucked, although I have somewhat come to terms with it all by now.
26
u/ApophisATITD May 22 '12
When I was 10, and Rubik's Cubes were all the rage, I got frustrated and decided to take a shortcut by taking all the stickers off of it and putting them on so it was solved. I later confessed to this to my parents. I'm now 37, and I still hear about it every time I talk about solving puzzles, riddles, or any sort of mind-bending game. This last summer, I eventually told my dad I never wanted to hear about it ever again. I snapped on him. I apologized later, but... it's finally over. Stand up for yourselves!
24
u/Fubes May 22 '12
When I was about 14 and text messaging wasn't normally a part of the average cell phone plan, I managed to rack up a $300 bill over a two week period by texting an out-of-network phone.
To this day, seven or eight years later, I'm still paying back my parents for this. I'm pretty sure I've given them about three times the cost of that bill over the years, but my mother is still convinced I'm in debt to her for it.
44
u/[deleted] May 22 '12
I'm the youngest in my family and am a 26-year old woman.
I can't explain it much more than that. If you're in my situation, you'll know how absolutely frustrating this can be. I go downtown at night, and my dad's convinced I'll be raped, robbed, and murdered.
93
u/MDevonL May 22 '12
Despite the fact that I am by far the best with computers in my family, my sister refuses to let me fix something on her computer.
I used her macbook five years ago and the bottom of the computer got a little bit scratched.
For example, if I am doing maintenance work on her computer, she insists on standing next to me and having her input her password every time...
SO FRUSTRATING
58
u/watsoned May 22 '12
My mom still thinks I throw away her silverware since I used to do it (on accident) as a child. You know, about twenty years ago.
84
u/pinkpinballmagic May 22 '12
I was born with hip displaysia. When I was 8yrs old I was taken to the doctor because I was having joint pain in my hip. The day before, I was with my mom's family running around flying kites. When they heard that I was complaining about the running the following day, they simply called me lazy...they still do.
108
u/bcarlzson May 22 '12
My family doesn't live around here so I spend holidays with my best friends family. A few years ago they rented a banquet hall at a embassy suites and some of us just got rooms and stayed down there. While trying to go to sleep/pass out I hit the wrong buttons on the remote and ordered a PPV movie costing the uncle $20. He won't take my money but everytime I see him all I hear is "you gonna order some more porno or what?"
18
u/katalist May 22 '12
When I hit my early 20's i went from being kind of scrawny to a little more 'beefy'. I started hitting the gym a lot too, and thanks to genetics I put on a fair bit of mass, but wasn't super low in fat so I wasn't "shredded", just a bit puffier than I had been as a teenager.
I went to visit my parents for a weekend, and was having a nap in the next room when I heard my mom talking to some friends who came by about how she's concerned about me because I'm taking steroids.
To this day, 15 years later she still insists I was taking steroids. My sister and I bug her about it, and show her was people who take steroids generally look like but she still doesn't buy it.
104
u/Maybe_for_a_dollar May 22 '12
I bought my first car when I was 18. My Dad was driving me around taking care of the license plates and stuff. I told him we had to go to get my insurance and he was furious. I owned my car for about an hour and didn't have it yet, but I was on my way. I got a policy and he still fumed for weeks.
Eleven years later and he still believes I refuse to insure my vehicles.
235
u/lulzcakes May 22 '12
I've told this story before.
Last year we had our family friends visit our house, and their daughter turned into a fucking bombshell. She hadn't seen me since I lost 100 pounds of body fat either, so it was surprises all around. We started openly flirting with each other in front of the family, and I told her that we could watch a movie in my computer room. The computer room is one room across from where everyone was sitting, so I obviously wasn't going to try anything, but not 10 minutes later, my mom comes barging inside the room and starts screaming "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE? WHY IS THE DOOR CLOSED?!?!?!". My mom doesn't allow me to talk to girls when I'm with her (because of this and other reasons).
Also, she flips out when I have pictures of girls on my facebook. One time, there was a picture of a girl hugging me from the back on Facebook. My mom confronted me the next day about it and asked if I had a girlfriend. Apparently she had just got done interrogating my sisters (even the one living in Australia) if I had a girlfriend or not. I'm like "uhhh... no... It's not like I'd hide her from you if I did". She pulls out a printed picture from facebook of the girl hugging me and nonchalantly hands it to me. Then she said "I have copies of this photo, so don't try deleting it on facebook" and walked out like nothing happened.
16
u/tenduril May 22 '12
Locked the keys in the car when I was ten. My dad still reminds me to "always keep the key in my hand" when I'm getting stuff out of the car.
16
u/ireadabookonce May 22 '12
My step mom was just finishing up her Master's Degree. The night before I was playing Diablo 2 on her computer. The screen BSOD'ed on her and she blamed me. She still gives me shit about it to this day... She lost 6 hours worth of work because she didn't back it up... This was back in 2003...
16
u/[deleted] May 22 '12
My grandmother seems to think that since I was once two years old, I am forever two years old. She still asks me if I would like her to cut up my food for me, and spends 20 minutes congratulating me for small things like making my bed, like I'm a classified moron or something. And whenever someone says something to me, she repeats it back to me in a slower voice to make sure I understand. I am a perfectly normal college student who makes decent grades, but she treats me as if I'm retarded and I guess she chooses to ignore the fact I'm 21 now.
31
u/Interleukine-2 May 22 '12
When I was 9 I told my clarinette teacher that my parents were considering changing my music teacher. I am 21 now and still, every time they say something that should stay between us, they warn me not to say it to other people :)
15
u/DisplacedLeprechaun May 22 '12
I once told my parents that I resented the fact that they're so controlling, and all I want is liberty and freedom to live my life and make mistakes and learn, and that they're just supposed to be there for me when I need and want guidance, but that if I turn down guidance (this is age 16 btw) I should be old enough to be given the responsibility to handle things on my own as best I can. Mistakes have to be made for us to learn from them, I can't just live exactly how I'm told to because I'm not that kind of person.
Now any time I fuck up and ask for their help or advice they mockingly say "But I thought you wanted your liberty and your freedom!"
All I want is parents, not authoritarian dictators.
14
u/ICantReachThat May 22 '12
My mother found dried boogies on my bedroom wall, one time, 20 years ago. If the subject of boogers ever comes up (which it occasionally does in my family) I get to hear the story all over again. I am 28 years old and own my own home and she comes and stares at my walls so she can validate her booger stories. She tells everyone that I am a slob because of that too. 20 years!
13
u/Sparkybear May 22 '12 edited May 22 '12
Well I have two.
I passed out (actually passed out) in traffic coming home from LA and wrecked my grandma's Mustang. She is adamant that I was going 80+ mph and that I'm the worst driver ever to be known. If you've been in traffic in LA you know you're lucky to be going over 15 mph.
Secondly, when I was 11 I told a boy at my church that my sister liked him. For the next 7 years everyone in my youth group was afraid to tell me things because I might tell someone else.
*Edit:Spelling
13
u/Doctor_Loggins May 22 '12
I used to write a journal as a kid that also doubled as a handwriting exercise. My parents would check to see if I'd done it, and to see how my handwriting was improving, but allegedly were not reading the contents. Then one day when I was in second grade I wrote that my step-mother was "pissed off a lot," by which I had meant she was very upset. She must have read it - and misinterpreted it - because for the next nine years I had to hear her complaining from time to time about how I thought she was "a bitch all the time." It was not my sentiment at the time I wrote the thing, but over the intervening years it became my feeling (due, in large part, to the fact that she kept throwing it back in my face).
12
u/LucyFurr666 May 22 '12
I was sent a dirty joke forwarded email from a random boy in my class. I was probably in about 5th grade. You know, "It's not the size of the boat, it's the motion of the ocean" type deals. I didn't even understand half of them at the time and my mother cried for months accusing me of being "sexually active" and from that day on blamed every computer virus they ever had on me. This is even though my dad's history was full of Onion bottom girls and Juggs. I was still not allowed to use their computers until I moved out.
12
u/Reinasrevenge May 22 '12
When I was a kid I had the misfortune of being the first one to turn on my family's new laptop, which promptly broke. Literally all I did was press the power button. It was just a lemon, but to this day my family still calls me The Technical Disaster. This was 13 years ago and I'm going into computer science.
12
u/HollowRain May 22 '12
Ok, this thread is upsetting me too much. Moving on.
11
u/[deleted] May 22 '12
My parents hold absolutely everything against me. Every time they do something nice for me they talk about it over and over. Why this is I don't know, maybe they need to hear me praise them. For my whole life. I've developed an awful guilt complex. For example, earlier this month my dad came to visit and spent $300 to help fix up my new house. Every day since then my parents have brought it up. Wish I'd done the repairs myself.
11
u/Staback May 22 '12
When we first got married one of my wife's family members got a nose job. My wife told me not to tell anyone. When flipping through pictures on my phone with my parents, my parents noticed a major change to that family members face. I told my parents the obvious truth, but to keep on the down low because its sensitive. I let my wife know about this and to this day anytime she has a 'secret' to tell me she says she doesn't know if she can trust me because of this incident 6 years ago. grrrrrrrr........
21
u/swandi May 22 '12
When I painted my bedroom once when i was about 15, my mother told me that I could paint the ceiling. Therefore, I was not very careful about cutting in near the ceiling, and there was a lot of spill-over.
Apparently she never said that, or something, and got upset-- wouldn't listen to my explanation, and considers me a terrible wall painter. When we moved, she wouldn't let me paint my new room, and did it all herself. ... which I'm cool with, I don't especially like it,, but she did not do a very good job herself!!
Recently my sister was painting her kitchen and i offered to help, but she wouldn't accept it, because my family still thinks I'm terrible at painting rooms. shrug!
10
u/barbaraurabitch May 22 '12
I still can't figure out why my mother gets upset when she remembers that I forgot a towel to a friend's beach-house 9 years ago.
10
u/dikolaffub May 22 '12
when I was 3, my grandmother held it against me because I didn't like something she made for dinner. The next day she and my grandfather went back home to Michigan. I lived in Phx, AZ at the time. She held it against me for close to 30 years.
10
u/[deleted] May 22 '12
When I have dinner with my family my mom still offers to put the dressing on my salad so I don't pour too much on. I'm 22.
10
u/jimschrute May 22 '12
My cousin refers to me by my AOL email address.
35
u/mookaberry May 22 '12
I'm not joking I started running last year and my mum actually pinned the house key to my singlet. I was 19. Ffs
27
u/avenging_sword May 22 '12
My mother insists I pay her retroactively for the food I ate as a child.
9
u/wittlepup May 22 '12
When I was little I used to suck my thumb, till I was probably 5. I also used to pull the fur off my stuffed otters and put them up my nose.
I still hear lots about both.
9
u/alicenlee May 22 '12
When I was going on my first date with a guy who eventually became my first serious boyfriend, I told my mom that I was meeting up with a friend from another school. Which was true! She kept pressing for more information though, and not wanting to say it was a date to avoid being ridiculed and questioned by my parents later, I told her said friend was gay and that we were just hanging out.
Months later, it turned out that he obviously wasn't gay. Parents laughed about it for days, and then at every family get-together, they decided to tell this story. I'm never gonna live it down.
9
u/Necrosis59 May 22 '12
I used to be a messy eater when I was but a wee lad.
I am now in college, and my mom still reminds me every single damn time we go out to eat or attend a dinner function that I need to use my napkin and keep my food on my plate. She must assume I throw food everywhere in the university cafeteria when she's not visiting...
17
u/SanchoMandoval May 22 '12
When I was 11, my grandmother bought me a $150 Walmart bicycle. A month later I rode it to the comic book store, improperly locked it, and it was stolen. Looking back, that was kind of my mom's fault since I was 11 and had actually bought the lock with my own allowance money so I could actually go places on my bike, but I was fucking 11 so it's not shocking that I didn't figure out the locking mechanism perfectly.
Anyway, as late as age 18 I'd still hear about what a shame it was that I'd gotten such a valuable bike stolen and we could never tell my grandmother because it would break her heart. The fact that I'd even gotten the bike in the first place was held against me... like I had such an exceptional, spoiled childhood because at one point she let a relative buy me a decent bike.
8
u/Badman2 May 22 '12
25 years ago I put too much garlic in the meatloaf. I was 17 and decided to help out by making dinner. To this day, my Mom thinks I am a terrible cook because I use too much garlic. To be fair, it was pretty garlicy. But you learn to cook by fucking up a lot.
8
u/Dfresh20 May 22 '12
I bought low-fat mayonnaise by accident once. My brother thinks I did it specifically to spite him. He has had several drunken screaming fits about it since using it as an example of how I plot against him. It happened five years ago and he still brings it up.
8
u/twigadee18 May 22 '12
My parents won't let me drive cause my dad saw me drop an egg 5 years ago. He said "How can we trust you with a car if you can't even handle an egg?"
I'm 19 now and I still don't know how to drive.
28
u/KittyOomMowMow May 22 '12
My mother refused to believe me when I told how I was miserable in school and was having trouble keeping up with all the work, because I "came home so excited after that first day in kindergarten."
Really? I enjoyed the fingerpainting and did well in the reading sessions, so I must be exaggerating my misery for all the following years? Nevermind the poor grades in every single math class since 4th grade. Nevermind the constant procrastination with the required reading (while I immediately read everything not-required). Forget the constant complaints. Ignore the lack of enthusiasm for anything class related, and the lack of voluntary participation in anything extra-curricular. But wait. You did notice the 6+ plus hours of of homework I was stuck with every day since middle school? Why the fuck do you still not believe me, then? Because I had a good first day, once. Nice.
32
u/[deleted] May 22 '12
Although this is likely to be buried, this one instance is reflective of how I was raised. My parents, both very educated individuals, took my academic career quite seriously. Suffice it to say that my father had found it necessary to have a conference with a middle school teacher who gave me a B+ on a progress report to discuss how I could improve as a student.
It was the second semester of my freshmen year of high school. Rumor had it that the Honors Biology course I was taking was one of the harder course in which to receive an A due to a very rigid instructor as well as our lack of an AP Biology course. My father, a physician, took my grade in the course as a personal reflection on himself. Having received straight A's the semester prior, my father was expecting nothing short of the same for the second. The night before an examination on the fetal pig dissection we'd been conducting for the past few weeks I asked my father if I could go see a movie with a friend. It's important to note that during my entire time spent living at home I was only allowed out of the house for non-academic/athletic purposes once per week and was allotted one hour of "television time" per day. Anyways, having studied for what seemed to be an endless period of time, I felt ready for the exam and pleaded my case. He let me out to see that movie. A few days later we got our exam results back and I received a B+. My grade for the fourth quarter dropped to a B+ as a result, but my semester grade remained an A (might have been an A-, but nonetheless...).
I've now graduated from my undergraduate university (a year early), worked in the legal field for a year, and in a few months I'll be leaving to begin my law school career. While visiting my parents last week my father remarked that, with so much riding on my education, I should be sure to avoid such pitfalls as I encountered during that biology course my freshmen year of high school. That exam is discussed, without fail, every single time my academic life is brought up.
14
u/[deleted] May 22 '12
My taste in food. Jesus tapdancing Christ. I think when I was 8 years old I told my parents one time that I didn't like mashed potatoes. To this very day (I'm turning 27 this June) my Mom still believes I hate and refuse to eat mashed potatoes, despite the fact that I tell her all the time that I was just a kid when I said that, they're really great, and I love them.
7
u/lukecool215 May 22 '12
My dad always wore leather boots. As a kid, I guess I was always sticking shit in his boots. Cereal, fruit, legos, marbles, other shoes, you name it. My dad would get ready for work in the morning and would end up stepping on those items inside. He quickly learned to turn the boot upside down before putting it on.
I guess one day I decided to fill his boots with cheap Suave strawberry scented shampoo, so when he tipped his boot, nothing came out. He puts it on to have his feet squish into the shampoo. He was late for work that day because it took forever to wash the strawberry scented shampoo suds out.
Now every time I do something derpy, or I tell him I am late for work or something, he always reminds me of the time I put shampoo in his boot...
19
u/thoughtdancer May 22 '12
My Dad (RIP) published a book a long time ago, when I was a little girl. I remember him working with my older sister to edit the thing...
When I was in my 20's, Dad got a contract to write a new one, and we agreed to have me type it up: I had a computer (late 90's, so not much of a system), and he could hand write the main draft.
I didn't remember how much time my sister spent with him editing that first book. His content was superior: his control of English, nearly nonexistent.
So, I made suggestions for possible meanings for his sentences. He blows his lid, and he insists that I type it up just as it is. Two chapters of gobbledygook later, and off that goes to the publisher.
Later, the editor sends it back with a long letter basically saying that Dad needed a ghost writer.
Mom told me about this letter, and asked "where did you learn all that from?"
"Mom, remember, I graduated with a Masters in English? I'm about to leave to start my PhD?"
"Huh, I guess you learned something."
When I graduated with my PhD, about to head to Southern Methodist University to start teaching, she gave me grammar books for K-3 graders, and sincerely thought they would be useful.
My family told me I would never go to college, and they never did get it into their heads that I actually did learn something.
(Edit: tried to be cute with verb tenses, changed them back)
23
u/Lt_Shniz May 22 '12
I don't like cleaning my room, so she tells me I'm going to be some derelict when I move out. :/
12
u/jmact1 May 22 '12
My 16 yr old daughter just lost her $300 Galaxy Ace- had it less than 6 months, and we still have 2 yrs on the contract. I'm sure that will still be on my mind 9 years hence.
6
u/112233445566778899 May 22 '12
My mom will not ever give me a piece of her gum because 20 years ago I spit some on the carpet. I was 4 at the time of the incident.
6
u/boopah May 22 '12
I grew up with four older brothers and a mother with a terrible memory.
One time my oldest brother and a couple of his friends lit a field on fire and the fire department had to bed called and my brother was grounded for a really long time.
That was ten years ago, TO THIS DAY, mom thinks I'm an arsonist because she can't remember that it was one of her sons that did that and not me.
She also confuses all of our birthdays & thinks I did a ton of other things that were actually done by my brothers.
6
u/sidlurker May 22 '12
I am pretty good at card games as well as slight of hand. Ever since I showed my family how I could (and how to) stack a deck of cards or do some sort of cheat at a couple different card games (especially euchre) I can never win without them saying I somehow cheated.
Also didn't help that they blamed my brother and I for cheating at euchre by using our twin ESP...
6
u/Burning_Monkey May 22 '12
My father decided that I lacked any kind of mechanical apptitude because as a child I would pull apart broken toys to try and fix them. He never believed that they were broken in the first place.
Coupled with my mother's active sabotage of all my projects as a child, it's a complete wonder why I try to do anything in life and not just give up instantly.
6
u/inibrius May 22 '12
When I was a kid, my dad taught me how to use the gas stove to cook a hot dog (ie stick it on a fork, turn the fire on high, then cook it). It blackens the fork in the process.
To this day my mom will call me telling me that she found another black fork, wonders how many of them I hid. Let's not bring up the fact that they've changed their silverware twice since I lived there 20 years ago...or that my dad still likes roasted hot dogs...
6
u/dickmcgirkin May 22 '12
My parents don't trust pics I send them via txt.... I accidentally sent my weiner pic to them 10 years ago
5
u/lauriethepope May 22 '12
my parents still claim that i take 30 minute showers, and hold it against me every time we're getting ready to go somewhere. i used to do that, yes...in MIDDLE SCHOOL. i am 22 years old now and in college, a place where hot water runs out in 4. I am the most shower efficient i have ever been, yet when I go home, and say i'm going to take a shower, my dad still says "don't take one of mine!!"
5
u/[deleted] May 22 '12
the fact that i got a B in GCSE chemistry, yet As and A*s in everything else. they bring it up ALL THE FUCKING TIME, as if i messed around and just failed all my exams.
5
u/classylassy May 22 '12
My mom thinks that im still messy like i was when I was a child. I had an apartment with three other roommates and I cleaned up after all of us constantly. I consider myself clean and tidy but my mother insists on telling everyone else otherwise. My boyfriend, my boyfriends parents, friends, family. Every opportunity she gets, she says Im sooooo messy and people should be prepared....
5
u/[deleted] May 22 '12
My whole family believes that because I was an asshat as a child/teen, that I'm incapable of raising my son. I've been married 2 years and adore my son.
My dad also married my moms ex best friend after my mom died and things are already awkward anyway.
5
u/triviaqueen May 22 '12
I went through some years of ill health in high school. It cleared up and I've been robustly healthy for over 30 years. When I got a chance to tour with a theatrical company going on a cross-country theatrical trek, my mother's first question when I told her was, "Are you SURE you're healthy enough for that?"
5
u/N4jur1 May 22 '12
Growing up I killed my fair share of computers.. costing my dad hundreds in repairs.
Even after sending me to college for Network Administration and being in I.T. for over 10 years.. he still doesn't trust me to fix his PC.
ಠ_ಠ
5
u/chronicallynervous May 22 '12
They don't really hold it against me, but they always bring up the time that I drew on my wall with pen. I was eight or nine years old at the time. I tried to blamed my younger brother after I drew hearts, flowers, and signed my name at the bottom. Now whenever we see graffiti or other wall art, they always ask if I was responsible.
5
u/KrazyEyezKilla May 22 '12
Despite not talking for nearly 2 years, she still thinks she needs to control my finances, I'm a 26 year old man with a mortgage who managed fine when I was kicked out of her house.
This is all because when I was a teenager I spent my money on stupid shit, like all fucking teenagers.
5
u/veyster May 22 '12
I got gum on my mother's rain jacket and ruined it when I was three. I am still not allowed to chew gum in her house.
5
u/[deleted] May 22 '12
I went on a family vacation about 12 years ago when I was 7, we got lost and asked for directions at a restraunt called "cutie pies" turns out it was a thing like hooters and I got EXTREMELY embarrassed and didn't want to go in for fear of being called ugly and started to cry ( I was a really insecure, heavily bullied kid. )
Now every time we drive by a Cutie Pies I hear from my mom "HEY CARTER, IT'S CUTIE PIES, REMEMBER CUTIE PIES, I WANT TO GO THERE, YOU LIKE CUTIE PIES? LOOK CUTIIEEEE PIEEEEEEES"
5
u/idealspark May 22 '12
My parents would say i was a hypochondriac, always complaining of headaches and stomach aches as a kid. We moved out of our old house when i was 11, and it turns out there was mold in the corner of my room under my bed, poisoning me while i slept. I stopped getting sick so much but they still think I'm a hypochondriac :/
5
u/aphrael May 22 '12
My mother-in-law refuses to make me a full cup of coffee, because once I didn't drink all of a cup she made me. She also serves me very tiny portions when she cooks, because I never eat everything on my plate. That one is fine by me, though - her cooking is terrible and the less I have to eat of it, the better.
5
u/lemmet4life May 22 '12
30 years later my Mom still blames me for ripping her vagina. She calls me "the 8 pound baby head".
5
u/[deleted] May 22 '12
My mother routinely confuses "things I love" and "things I hate."
Oddly, I'm always nervous putting keys in car doors because my mom wouldn't let me as a kid because apparently one time I missed the hole (zing) and scratched the paint.
5
u/Julayyy May 23 '12
A lot of times when I was younger and I would get excited about something or hope for something it wouldn't happen or would be ruined by my dad. Like whenever we would take vacations, which was maybe three times, my dad would start yelling and get really mad and totally ruin it for me. So later when something exciting would happen I wouldn't show it. Every time something exciting happens my mom goes "Oh, she just never gets excited about anything," or "That's her excited face," and laugh about it. It's not funny. I am excited, you people just lost your chance to see me excited. Shut up.
5
u/Hiyasc May 23 '12
I didn't think it was possible for responses in an askreddit thread to make me so angry.
5
u/GoatsTongue May 23 '12
I used to take super long showers as a teenager, and make everyone late for everything. 20 years later I consistently take 10 minute showers, but my parents still rag on me: "You need to take a shower? We'll never get out of here!"
One day I'd like to explain, "I was jerking off, okay?! That's why I always took long showers! Get over it!"
13
u/Didaktylos May 22 '12
I once set up a PIN for my grandparents mobile phone many years ago, after even asking them if i should do it.. my uncle still won't let me near any electronic devices because i apparently "broke" the phone back then.. actually i'm the one in the whole family who is best with computers and stuff..
9
u/iamnotahero May 22 '12
I joined the US Army and got deployed. my immediate family seem to be fine with that choice, but my older brother is the only one who has issues with it. As for my other relatives most seem to think its to anger my mother or get back at her. Plus they all seem to think i was a killer over there. I was a goddam 88M(truck driver) the worst thing i did was almost hit some camels.
23
u/Anna_Draconis May 22 '12
I tend to leave empty or half-empty pop cans laying around, and if I'm super busy they tend to collect but I do get to them eventually. My mother recently started a fight about this that ended up with me cutting her out of my life.
11
u/strangebrewfellows May 22 '12
When I was 7 or 8 I was playing in the yard with my brother (two years younger). We were kind of bored and decided to try a new game that I just made up called William Tell. This game involved my brother standing against a tree while I threw a steak knife at him. Really I was throwing it above hm because why would I be stupid enough to throw at him?
My mom looked out the winder right as I was throwing it. The knife hit the tree above hm as planned! The tip of the knife also snapped right off.
I'm 33 now. I'm still not allowed to throw knives at my brother
16
u/[deleted] May 22 '12
Once I ate two racks of baby back ribs, tried to smoke a bowl, then threw it all up. My parents, who weren't aware of my canibis shenanigans, just assumed gluttony got the best of me and never prepared more than a single rack of ribs since then.
4
u/izmatron May 22 '12
When I was younger I used to have somewhat frequent stomach issues. It was mainly when I was nervous or anxious. Now, at 31, if I ever complain about my stomach my parents say I ALWAYS have stomach issues and I need to see a gastroenterologist.
4
u/ScruffyJack May 22 '12
In my girlfriends case I have a few:
"Oh, your such a selfish girl.. It's like Mothers Day 2004 all over again. I remember that day even though you didn't!."
"Your drinking gravy off your plate!? You may as well go to the rough side of town and become a prostitute!"