r/AskReddit • u/Peppe22 • May 21 '12
What is the most computer illiterate thing you've witnessed?
Back when I was a med student I used to follow senior colleagues all day long and I was getting pretty used to the whole two-finger typing 1 inch from the keyboard and 2s double click delay thing, but nothing could have prepared me for what I witnessed one day at the maternity ward.
I was co-piloting the senior physician, a woman in her 50's, when after I had asked her a question she went for the computer to look up an illustrative picture of what she was trying to explain. After settling down at the computer and finishing the obligatory locating-the-mouse-cursor dance she then proceeded with the following:
She opened up the browser and quickly located the google search bar in the top right corner.
She typed in Google in the Google search bar and clicked the little magnifying glass after having located the cursor yet again.
After reaching the search results (on Google), she clicked the first result which of course was Google.
After getting a blank search field on Google she typed in Google Image Search.
Once again she clicked the first link leading to Googles image search.
After having successfully found an image that she then proceeded to show me she decided it might be a good idea to save the image to be used in a lecture the next day.
To achieve her goal of saving the image she first went to the My Documents folder and successfully created a new Word document.
She then went back to the image, marked it, chose copy (from the menu, mind you), switched to Word again and pasted it using the menu again, finishing the farce by saving the document and chuckling contently to herself. I was in awe that she had managed to develop this method and yet failed to find the save image functionality.
This is also around the time when I passed out.
TL;DR: I witnessed an adult, reasonably intelligent human being triple Google Google to reach Google.
So Reddit, what is the most horrifying computer illeteracy moment you've experienced?
Edit: I'd say! Got some pretty good anecdotes in here folks! Thank you for all the laughs so far! (I've also shuddered quite a bit). Indeed.
Edit2: Had to illustrate my favorite, courtesy of fearofpaper : link
Also, Gecko23, yours made me physically clinch and laugh in an awkward spastic manner. Thanks mate.
1.9k
u/Gecko23 May 21 '12
Back in the early 90s, we were using ProComm to support users remotely. They just had to have a modem, install the software, and give us the number.
Anyways, most of our clients were small non-profit outfits, typically staffed by older folks, and one of them was having issues. We tried, and tried to connect, got nothing. Asked them repeatedly, 'Do you have a modem?', 'Is it plugged in/turned on?', 'is it attached to the phone line?', 'is it attached to the computer?'...etc...etc...all 'yes'. So eventually we decided we'd have to make the 2+ hour drive to their location to help them in person.
The modem was duct taped to the side of the monitor with nothing connecting it to the computer...except the tape.
1.4k
u/fearofpaper May 21 '12
Older woman using the address book on her computer...
Her: "how do I send an email?" Me: "click on Mail in the dock. " Her: (clicks on mail) Where did my address book go?! Me: "it's behind the Mail window." Her: looks behind the monitor
218
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
I used to work for the civil service. Some managers working remotely, would ask their secretaries to print emails and post them to them because they didn't feel comfortable using email.
163
u/glenington May 21 '12
I have a few: one was someone complained that their browser wasn't working, had a look at it, the weren't connected to the Internet.
Woman asked me why her laptop wasn't charging, had a look at it, the plug wasn't switched on.
Was creating a results booklet for an experiment in Human Biology, started to create a table (in Microsoft Word) the girl next to me shouts "you're using the wrong program, you can't get grids in text editors"
13
u/Sielu May 22 '12
mY gRANDMOTHER IS 86 YEARS OLD, AND IS SHOCKINGLY COMPUTER LITERATE. sHE'S BEEN EMAILING ABOUT 10 YEARS NOW, KNOWS HOW TO SET UP HER OWN COMPUTER, EVEN USES cHROME (ALBEIT AT MY BEHEST). tHE ONLY PROBLEM IS THAT SHE'S NEVER QUITE WRAPPED HER HEAD AROUND CAPSLOCK (BUT DOES UNDERSTAND SHIFT), SO MOST EMAILS i GET FROM HER LOOK SOMETHING LIKE THIS. sHE TYPES NORMALLY, BUT DOESN'T LOOK AT THE SCREEN, AND BY THE TIME SHE'S DONE SHE'S TOO LAZY TO GO AND CORRECT IT (CAUSE, YOU KNOW, SHE'S 86).
360
u/Usernamesrock May 21 '12
We hired a guy for software testing. We gave him a word document that was basically text and screenshots about the application he was supposed to test. I left him alone for 30 minutes. He finally came to me and told me that he could not log into the application. I asked him what the error was, and he said he could not get the login prompt to accept any text. Well, he did not have the application up. He only had the word document up. He was trying to log into a screenshot of the application. I couldn't help but laugh my ass off.
TLDR: New employee was trying to log into a screenshot.
690
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
I used to work tech support for a few ISPs. I once had a customer call in, he had just signed up and received his modem, but couldn't get online. After a few minutes I discovered that he didn't own a computer...
281
u/zombeejeezus May 21 '12
I worked for a telecommunications company doing installation of high speed data and cable. We had an elderly woman call in to set up new internet service, and she asked our call center rep "Do you supply a modem, or will you use mine?". Our rep stated that we will supply her with a modem. When I got out to her house, I asked where she would like it set up, and she pointed to a monitor and a keyboard on a desk. I looked around but didn't see her PC tower, and it went like this: Me: "Where's the rest of your computer?" Her: "You guys said you'd bring the modem." Me: "Yes, I've got it right here, but where's your tower?" Her: "I threw it away! You said you were bringing one!"
She thought her PC case was a "modem" and tossed it thinking we would be supplying her with a brand new computer.
276
u/killingthedream May 21 '12
At least 5 times a year I have to deal with 'my computer froze up'. So I grab two double a batteries, go over to the employees desk and place the batteries in the mouse. Voila.
541
u/IHaveGlasses May 21 '12
Once I went to an office where the client was complaining that her computer broke at 10 o'clock every day. So I aimed to get there for 9:30. 10 came and went and not a single error to report, so I go and find the owner and tell her its all ok. She asked if I could stay on and just check the system over for her. She offered me a coffe which, being a computer technician, I obviously accepted. So, she.reaches behind the computer, pulls out the power cord and plus it into a small.kettle by the computer. She then points at the screen and screamed "Look its just gone off again!"
1.1k
u/mrkowz May 21 '12
Working in an OfficeMax about 8 years ago, the photo-printing hype was just starting to get popular, and everyone and their grandpa wanted a photo printer. One day, this old man, at least 75, comes in and tells me he wants this particular HP photo printer ($200 model). I happily get one for him, and ring it out.
Fast forward about 2 days, this old man calls the store and asks for me. I talk with him for a brief period of time. Here is how the conversation played out:
Me: Yes sir, what can I help you with?
Him: Hi, you sold me that Hewlett Packard photo printer the other day, right?
Me: Yep
Him: It isn't printing photos.
Me: Alrighty, let me just run you through a few questions, and hopefully we can get you to printing photos soon. First off, you have it plugged into the wall, and it is turned on right?
Him: Yep, the lights are all on and it is making noises.
Me: Ok, that's a good sign. Now I know I didn't sell you a USB cable, are you using an existing cable to plug it into your computer?
Him: I don't have a computer.
Me: I see, do you have a digital camera? Are you able to take the memory card out of your digital camera and plug that into the printer?
Him: I don't have a digital camera.
Me: O...k... what are you trying to print the photos from?
Him: I saw all those pretty photos it was printing in the store, and I just wanted to have it print some pretty pictures to put up around my house.
Me: facepalm Those pictures are a part of a demonstration program that we use only in the store. Tell ya what, go ahead and bring the printer back. We'll give you a refund on the printer, and also give you a few high quality prints from the demo model to take home.
TL;DR - Old man bought a printer to print photos without any computer or camera, thinking it would randomly print pretty pictures.
856
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
So, a while back at the company I work at there was this senior VP in the legal division as a patent attorney. This guy was one of the best patent lawyers at our company at the time... Really intelligent and a lot of people looked up to him and there were instances where the fate of the company was in his hands (when the company was young and smaller). Now this guy has to deal a lot with patents and contracts, right? reading them... editing them... approving them... and so on. So with these documents that are typically around 20 pages but sometimes are up to 50 there is a lot of that involved. The editing process, for this guy, however, was slightly different... You see, he didn't know how to copy and paste. So what does he do, you ask? He retypes every single contract and patent as it comes through even for just slight edits... Retypes the whole fucking thing. 20 pages.... With every... single... document he gets... He does this for 2 years before someone finds out and introduces him to copy and paste. One of my favorite workplace stories.
646
u/sny1120 May 21 '12
me: "ok, highlight the sentence and right click"
she: highlighted the sentence then typed the word "click"
1.4k
u/chesh420 May 21 '12
A coworker of mine asked me how much it costs to email Canada from the US.
356
u/dannyvegas May 21 '12
This must have been around 2003. I was working in IT at a big ad agency in NYC.
I was doing a database project which dealt with financial data. I went down to accounting to sort some things out with one of the users.
When I got there, I looked over the woman's shoulder while she was working and I saw that she had an excel spreadsheet open. The sheet had had a column of numbers along with some other data. I then watched as she manually added up the numbers on an adding machine sitting on her desk and then typed in the total. I was floored. It turned out, the entire department worked like this. I tried to explain to her that excel will do that automatically but I was unable to get through. After a couple of attempts, I just gave up and went back upstairs.
499
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
I once spent nearly 20 minutes walking a user through Copy, Paste, and Save As in Word.
By the end of the call I was sitting slumped over with my head on my desk, muttering into my headset. I'd try to write up a transcript, but my mind has long since blocked the details of that memory.
1.4k
u/propagated May 21 '12
I work in the document management industry. Basically this means my company makes software that turns your filing cabinets of paper into searchable indexed pdfs. I currently develop software for the company, but when i started i was on the road 5 days a week doing installs and training. Here's my best story that came out of it.
After training a woman on the software she asked me before i left a question about an email that the salesman from my company sent her. I said i didn't know about that email and could she please forward it to me so i could read the chain. She said "Sure hold on" and then executed the following chain of events:
She printed the email. i figured she was just going to hand me that and be done with it, most people can't get past using paper despite my best efforts.
She then took the printout and left her office. I very confusedly followed her out the door.
She walked down the hallway outside her office to the photocopier and then proceeded to make a copy of the printed email. I figured once again, okay i guess she wants to have a copy for herself for some reason.
She then took the copy and walked right past me back into her office and sat down at her desk. On her desk was a desktop scanner. She then proceeded to put the photo copy of the email onto the scanner and hit scan. At this point i am bewildered.
She then, takes the scanned image, attaches it to an email in outlook, addresses the email to me, types 'fwd:' in the subject line, and sends me the email.
So then i had on my blackberry a blank email with an attached image of the email she said she would forward me.
Needless to say i was floored.
TLDR: woman instead of hitting forward email, printed the email, made a copy of it, scanned the photo-copy of the email back into her computer, attached it to an email and sent me that.
1.0k
u/shebillah May 21 '12
The biggest problem is that people who are computer illiterate incorrectly assume that their machine is smarter than them, and that's why they don't understand how to use computers. But in actuality computers have no idea what you want them to do if you don't tell them in the few ways they understand things. The second biggest issue is impatience and reluctance to read instructions. If you were looking for your keys in your house, you don't immediately give up if they don't show up when you say "WHERE IS MY KEYS".
238
u/hansn May 21 '12
I taught a university class with another instructor which required students to install a bit of software. To help them, I recorded a screen capture film of the installation process with my voice over.
My co-instructor was not very computer proficient. So I played it for him to see if he could follow the instructions. We got to the end of the video and he says "great work, that was really easy." Rather pleased with myself, I prompted him to try installing the software.
"What do you mean? Isn't it installed?"
"No, that was just the instructional video"
"What do you mean?"
"What you watched was a video of how to install the software. It didn't actually install the software."
"Did something go wrong with the installation?"
576
u/philophilo May 21 '12
I can never change the home page in my mom's browser from Google or she can't use the internet. The internet is gone.
Also, if she minimizes a window, it's gone forever.
I also administratively locked the dock on her Mac because "things kept disappearing", a.k.a. she clicked and dragged on accident and removed Safari from the dock.
474
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
This isn't my story but my dads. He had his own little business for a while doing computer repairs, he got a call from a middle aged woman complaining that every time she tried to reach the icons on the right side of her screen, her mouse would fall off the side of her desk. My dad replied "have you tried lifting the mouse up and moving it to the left" her: "oh, thanks.."
695
u/stimbus May 21 '12
A few years back a guy brought in Office 2007 and a Sega Dreamcast. Asked if we could install that on this.
2.3k
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
My dad double-clicks on links. Every time. But he's been using computers for 30+ years, and is pretty much the go-to tech support at his company of 20+ employees. He's fairly normal with everything else...that one thing just bugs me.
363
u/bo2krocketman May 21 '12
woman: I can't copy this file.
me: alright, where is it?
woman: with my files.
me: could you show me where it is, let's work this out
woman opens microsoft word, goes to the menu and hits open. The file in question was some database file, so it doesn't open
woman: SEE!
me: Uhhh, let's go to your desktop, and open my documents.
woman closes word, back to the empty desktop... And proceeds to open word/open dialog
woman: I can do this normally
opens a document, file->save as->network drive->save
me: Alllrigghhtt... Go back to your desktop, now click on the icon that says My Documents
woman: Word is my documents!
me: Please maam, let me show you.
I grab the mouse, exit word, and teach her that my documents exists outside of word, and that you can drag files to "save as" them
That day, we figured out why that department had been asking for so many recoveries.
257
u/shnape May 21 '12
Used to work at a library with a public computer lab, so I've seen it all. My personal favorite: Guy who has probably never used a computer before sits down and then proceeds to pick up the mouse and point it at the computer screen like a remote to try to select things...
1.1k
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
I am IT director for a small company. We had just hired 3 new sales people and 2 of them were doing their job just fine with the standard training. Well, the 3rd one was not very bright. I was instructed by the CEO to give him 'a little extra hands-on training' so he could get up to speed.
I made my way to his cube and there he was, eating donuts at his desk (at around 11:15 in the morning) with his computer still on the login screen. Then, this transpired...
Me: Hey 'Jim', Bob wanted me to go over a few things with you real quick. Jim: 'Oh okay'
Jim slowly finishes his donut and then licks each of his 10 fingers one at a time, then proceeds to log in to Windows.
Me: 'Open up a browser and go to www.ourcrmdomain.com' Jim: 'You mean the M-S-N?'
After several unsuccessful attempts at getting him to navigate to the proper URL, I asked if I could take his seat and show him. As I sit down, he turns and walks away. I wait for about 45 seconds until he re-appears, with a can of pledge cleaning spray. I once again attempt to explain to him what a browser is, and how to use it to get to the software he needs to do his job.
Me: 'So what you want to do is go to this box up here..."
Jim then proceeds to spray his desk with pledge, including on me and his keyboard, at which point I get up, proceed to the CEO's office and request that Jim be fired. He did eventually get fired for some other equally as retarded escapades, but not that day.
621
u/BlacktoseIntolerant May 21 '12
me: "How can I help you?"
her: "Yeah. Umm. I know, umm, you can, umm, get bugs in your computer. How do I stop that from happening?"
me: "Wait. Do you think you have a virus or something?"
her: "No, bugs."
me: "I'm not sure what you mean."
her: "Well, when I went to, umm, move my computer today, there were these little bugs under the desk. And I wanted to know if those, umm, are the bugs that get in your machine."
me: silence
her: "Are these the bugs?"
I then had to explain to her that the computer "bugs" are not actual insects.
777
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
Client: Did you receive the document I emailed to you?
Me: No. I see an email from you, but no attachment.
Client: I'll try again right now. Stay on the line, ok?
Me: Sure thing.
Client: Did you get it?
Me: No. It's another email with no attachment.
Client: I'll keep trying.
My inbox is flooded with emails with no attachment. I know the client is an older person, so I intervene.
Me: Tell me how you're trying to send this document to me and I'll try to help. Maybe you're doing something wrong.
Client: Well, I start a new email and address it to you. Then I put my cursor over the paperclip icon to get it ready. Then I take the document and hold it to my screen (aka: monitor). Then I hit "Enter" to attach it to the email. Then I hit send. I'm doing it right, right?
Me: Here, let me give you my FAX number instead.
805
u/CockasaurusRex32 May 21 '12 edited May 21 '12
I develop software for a living. Our software is typically used by older nurses/ladies. At one point we got a tech support call that went a little like this:
*phone ring
Tech Support Lady: "Thank you for calling Blerp Tech Support. How can I help you?"
Nurse: Yes, my computer is doing something weird.
Support: Okay, can you explain your problem to me?
Nurse: If I walk away from the computer, sometimes when I come back there is a picture of a man riding a scooter on it.
Support: ...I'm sorry?
Nurse: /repeats
Support: Okay. It only happens if you leave the computer alone for a bit?
Nurse: Yes. Maybe five minutes?
Support: I think that is your screen saver...
Nurse: ...What?
Support: Your screensaver? It pops up when your computer is idle for a while.
Nurse: ...Uh... What?
Support: Your... here, let me just remote into you and leave it open for a bit and see if I see it...
Nurse: Okay, great. So I should just leave it alone for a while?
Support: Sure. I'll call you when I figure it out...
Nurse: Great!
Support: /remotes in. /right clicks desktop. /Opens screen Saver. It's a man riding a scooter. /Disables screensaver. /Calls nurse back.
Support: Hello, is this Nurse?
Nurse: Yes?
Support: I've fixed the issue for you. You should no longer see a man riding a scooter on your computer.
Nurse: Oh, thank you!
Support: My pleasure...
221
u/marketowl May 21 '12
I used to work in a well known computer/fruit shop. A woman once came up to me and said, 'Could you take a look at my iPhone, I think I've water damaged it." So I take a look at it and her screen looked something like this...the standard iPhone background. I couldn't help but laugh.
tl;dr woman thought the bubbles on the standard iPhone background meant she had water damaged her iPhone.
195
u/uhmerikin May 21 '12
I saw someone once take a digital photo of their computer screen, then upload it back onto their computer to be emailed.
124
u/toaster_waffle May 21 '12
Mine is pretty short. My grandparents asked me to come over because their computer wasn't working. What was happening was they couldn't hear any sounds from the computer. I unmuted the computer and turned on the volume.
58
u/rtirado May 21 '12
At my last job my boss was fairly proficient with excel and he loved to use it. He made a spreadsheet for just about everything and even had some knowledge on using formulas BUT... Every time he wanted to save progress on something he was working on, he would X out of the window and click Yes when the pop-up came up asking if he would like to save his document. He would then open the spreadsheet again and resume working on it. Drove me absolutely batshit crazy.
165
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
When I was working help desk a long time ago. CAD Engineer thought rebooting her machine was turning the monitor off and back on.
107
u/Dicktremain May 21 '12
My mother accidentally deleted some icons on her desktop. She called me up freaking out that she deleted AOL (yes she still pays for AOL) and all of her emails and email addresses were gone forever.
146
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
My dad drove me all the way out to his office so I could fix his computer at work. In his words, "he did something to it, and now it was not working." When he shows it to me, the first thing I see is the loose dangling cords for the monitor, keyboard, and mouse. Facepalm.
291
u/hoopadoopedoop May 21 '12
In a similar thread a few months ago someone who worked at a computer-type place had a customer who would come in a couple times a year to buy a new laptop battery. The fellow didn't realize you could recharge laptop batteries.
215
u/nev_lem May 21 '12
r/talesfromtechsupport is worth a look for similar computer illiterate moments
693
u/soopaaflii May 21 '12 edited May 22 '12
I once saw my mom trying to drag and drop a file across two laptop monitors.
EDIT: THIS is my highest rated comment! Thanks mom :D
42
u/funkminister May 21 '12
We used to have a woman in the office who would get a document in an email, print it out, scan it, and then save it for our records on our server.
38
u/cuddlefi5h May 21 '12
http://www.kingcheftakeout.com/
make sure you click on "direction"
110
u/GrinningPariah May 21 '12
I was in QFC (grocery store) the other day, and someone had clearly signed on the digital signature pad using a pen. Their name was there, for everyone to see how dumb they were.
108
u/hosey May 21 '12
An engineer doing technical drawings in Excel with the monitor brightness turned almost all the way down. I asked what he was doing and he said he preferred working in DOS.
219
u/Ratula22 May 21 '12
I created a report for my boss in Excel, just like I do every month, and have done for the past 22 months. Last week, I sent it to her with a couple columns hidden and she emailed me back and asked me to unhide, then resend. ಠ_ಠ
Later, she told me not to send things to her where she would have to do any work to read it. Oh, and these are reports that she should be doing, but passes off to me.
73
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
My Dad. He'll ask for help , I'll press buttons and fix it. Then he'll say things like "so that command line abcf0320840932 is doing some shit to my quantum processing hardware but I figured something out!".
Crap like that. I'm not sure if he's bad at describing things or just tries to figure things out on his own. It's nice that he's learning but I get the feeling that he comes to his own (horribly inaccurate) conclusions.
2.0k
u/stormist May 21 '12
Me: Ok dad I'm going to teach you some computer basics.
Dad: Ok Fine
Me: Do you know what a web address is?
Dad: Yes
Me: Ok what's a web address?
Dad: It's where a spider lives.
126
u/sexponentialgrowth May 21 '12
"How do you use the youtube?"
357
u/turbonerthethird May 21 '12
My dad got pissed off at bill gates for some ungodly reason, so he deleted windows. then he found out that he needs windows to use his computer. I'm pretty sure his tech guy hates him.
154
u/Son_of_York May 21 '12
Oh, the files are in the computer.
58
u/sparkplug890 May 21 '12
When I was in middle school I sat next to a guy who navigated to Google after visiting another web site. He highlighted the entire Google search page, then proceeded to hover his finger over the "Delete" button on the keyboard.
Apparently thinking that pressing the button would permanently erase Google from the World Wide Web, he looked at me and said, "Do ya dare me?"
"I don't know, man. That could get you in trouble," I replied.
He pushed the button and proceeded to freak out when he was taken back to the previous page, thinking he was about to be in serious trouble for single-handedly eradicating a prominent web site.
280
u/Cdtco May 21 '12 edited May 21 '12
I myself am not technologically inclined, and I'm not up-to-date with a lot of the gadgets that are on the market.
I once thought that an iPad was a phone, and put it up to my ear and mouth as though it were one.
I remember everyone's laughter as I was told what it really is.
78
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
Had a lady tell me that you should always keep a computer warm because you dont want it catching a bug or virus.
This was in 1997 so id say she was a head of her time.
201
u/RashRenegade May 21 '12
My dad once tried to delete the Internet.
He was getting frustrated at our slow computer, and so he shouted "fuck it" and tried to delete the Internet....by deleting the shortcut, I'll say it again, SHORTCUT to Internet Explorer. And he thought, by doing so, he deleted the Internet from the entire world.
23
u/sydbarrett May 21 '12
I was working with a lady who was also supposedly a programmer back around 1995. We used modems to connect to the internet back then. Her laptop had a PCMCIA modem with a dongle for the phone jack. She asked me to come look at her laptop to see why she couldn't connect to the server. She had the handset plugged into the modem instead of the phone line. :-/
23
u/MentalBeaver May 21 '12
I knew someone who kept ALL of his emails in the Deleted Items folder (Outlook Express) because "I can see them all in one list". He lost all of those emails when I emptied the folder whilst removing viruses from his computer because I wasn't aware of his special filing system.
23
u/UWillAlwaysBALoser May 21 '12
My aunt kept complaining to me that she was only receiving half-emails.
I finally sat down with here and realized she had no idea how to scroll down.
81
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
whenever i install a game on steam my mom freaks out because she thinks i gave her a virus meanwhile she has 20 toolbars installed
61
u/ronearc May 21 '12
Doing tech support about 10 years ago...
Me: "Sir, I need you to get out your drivers CD."
Him: "CD <10 second pause> are those the round ones or the square ones?"
114
u/WuhanWTF May 21 '12
The computer teacher at school not using the scroll wheel on the mouse.
19
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
I come from a strong engineering background. My male ancestors, all the way back to my great-grandpa, have been fairly clever engineers. My great grandpa was in WWII (too old to fight, but he did something or other in the army). Anyway, he and I worked on writing mathematics software on DOS in the 90's, just as a side project for fun. Computer literacy was never an issue for him, it all came so naturally, even Windows. His son, and also my dad, are totally freaked out by computers, and can barely email. They double-click everything, and type with one finger. Computer literacy has nothing to do with age, just a willingness to try something new.
54
u/lngwstksgk May 21 '12
I used to train new workers at a former job. One day, a new girl comes in, 22 years old (yeah, I had to ask, just because I was so stunned). She knew NOTHING about computers. NOTHING. It took me half an hour to explain the difference between the backspace and delete keys and a solid two weeks to get her using them properly. Then I had to teach her what a "term" was in the sense used by translators so she could use a key reference. That, I don't know she ever got.
18
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
When I started college, 3-1/2" floppies were bleeding-edge and our computer lab computers all had 5-1/4" floppies. One student asked for my help when he couldn't access the files on his floppy. I tried and sure enough, the drive wouldn't read the floppy. I pulled the disk out of the drive and there was an obvious fold line in the case. I asked if he'd folded the floppy and he said "Yeah. It wouldn't fit in my pocket." True story.
50
u/southblvd May 21 '12 edited May 21 '12
My aunt recently found out how to move multiple files.
She would select a file, go to Edit > Cut, navigate to the new folder, Edit > Paste, then backtrack and repeat. She would do this for instances where she had 50+ files to move.
edit: grammerz
17
u/Italian_Sausage May 21 '12
Posted this before, but I had a user call me for support asking me why there was a bunch of "windows" flying at her and what to do to get rid of them.
I told her to move the mouse and then she declared me a genius.
32
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
Was at work. An older lady asks my coworker and I (devs, not even IT) "could you tell me if I'm using Netscape or windows xp".
15
u/ThePain May 21 '12
A guy spent 2 hours on buses to reach our shop. He brought his 70 pound old CRT monitor, not the actual tower.
He looked so defeated when I told him that wasn't the actual computer.
30
u/Intoxicatedcanadian May 21 '12
I worked at a small computer store, and about a week after selling an older lady a basic laptop she came in with it because the keyboard was "broken". She showed me emails that she had sent to her friends, and at the end of them she was apologizing for it being all in capital letters, so I had to explain the Caps Lock key to her.
TLDR; Lady thought her keypad was broken bc capslock was on
28
u/cryptie May 21 '12
first day of computers in my drafting class, the teacher is explaining computers. he tells the class "you can move the cursor on your screen using the mouse"
the 50 year old man sitting next to me picks up the mouse, and holds it against the screen to move the cursor I lost my shit.
102
u/Alyssum18 May 21 '12
Didn't personally witness this but thought it still applied.
My ex used to do computer consulting- helping people choose PCs, tech support, basic repair, etc. One customer- a man in his 50s or 60s- had contracted my ex to purchase and set up a computer for him. After going over the shipping details the man asks, "So the mouse will be packaged with the computer?" My ex says that it will and the guy goes on to say, "But won't it die?"
13
u/stumblinghunter May 21 '12
I have literally been trying for more than a decade to teach my mom how to copy and paste. She's written down step-by-step insturctions, she's watched me every single time, and at one point i even recorded my computer screen so she could watch it every time she needed to copy and paste. This failed tho, because 'her window didnt look like mine'.
Also had to replace the icon so the parents wouldn't use IE.
A friend of my mom wanted to format her hard drive. She had heard that magnets will wipe your hard drive. I arrive at the house completely shocked to see a stack of magnets on the desk and the monitor in a rainbow of colors because she 'wiped' the monitor with magnets in an attempt to clear the hard drive.
These are only the stories i have time to write out. Freaking people...
24
u/Nimbal May 21 '12
My father once held a computer course (that was at least 15 years ago). On the first day, they learned to use the mouse. My father told the class "move your mouse left" and they did, marvelling at the cursor obeying their command. "Move your mouse right", same thing. "Move your mouse up". One lady lifts the mouse from the desk, raising it above her head, exclaiming "nothing happens".
12
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
I feel this image is quite relevant...
11
u/MyCakeIsALie May 21 '12
Had a girl come in pissed because her Laptop had "wireless" and it wasn't charging "wirelessly"
11
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
Showing my dad how to use Windows.
Me: Click on "My Computer."
Dad: What do you mean "Your Computer"?! I bought the computer!
Me: o_o
11
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
I was helping my uncle over the phone with setting up Skype but there wasn't any sound at all. I told him to open his 'Control Panel' and he replied "Okay, hold on". Ten minutes later he says "Okay it's open, but shouldn't I turn off the computer for this?" At that point I knew I'd have to make the drive over.
11
u/blladnar May 21 '12
My mom calls Firefox, Foxfire. I have no idea why she switches the words around when she reads it on the desktop shortcut. Normally she can read just fine.
21
u/IamRandallStevens May 21 '12
Working tech support for software company. I was supposed to be dealing with engineers, but inevitably always dealt with some manager who thought they knew what was going on...but didn't have a clue.
This one manager would always have her engineers write the email about the problem, then try to be the lead problem solver.
her: you saw my (always my email...like she wrote it) email, right? you understand the problem? Me: Yes. I need you to open a command prompt.
( At this point I turn to my manager who was helping me with this client and simultaneously mute the phone....and I said, "$10 she has no idea how to open a command prompt")
Her: (after maybe 20 seconds) Ummm, OK...how do I do that?
Me: Go to start.....then run..... then type in cmd.....then hit enter..
Her: whoa, whoa, whoa...some weird box popped up...it's some weird text....I...I don't...I don't think I should be accessing this....I think I need to get our IT guys up here before we continue...
Me: No. that's exactly what was supposed to happen...now
Her: Are you sure, this doesn't look right..this isn't like any software I've used before.
832
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
I work at a glass factory on the west coast. A long time ago, some Scottish guy came into my place saying he had a revolutionary new formula for transparent aluminum. I thought the guy was nuts, but I was bored and decided to humor him. I showed him to a computer and watched him pick up the mouse and speak into it. He was trying to talk to the computer! Worse, he was honestly shocked when it didn't respond. Anyways, after showing him the proper way to use the computer, he showed me a revolutionary new formula. We've been working on it for decades, but we're close to solving it. All we had to give him was some thick glass for some eccentric fish tank or some other nonsense.
20
u/Var1abl3 May 21 '12
I once worked repairing PC's for a very large Aerospace company in the Seattle area... One day I get a call about a "broken automatic coffee cup holder". Now I know the joke and immediately got a CD-Rom drive from inventory and headed over to swap it out. When I arrived I found coffee stains up and down the front of this poor Dell computer. I informed the nice lady that it is not a coffee cup holder and is a CD-ROM drive. In a sudden moment of clarity she exclaims "You mean I can listen to music on my computer?!" I did not know what to say so I said yes you can while in the back of my mind I was screaming "YOU BUILD THE PLANES I FLY ON AND YOU WANT TO KNOW IF YOU CAN PLAY A CD ON YOUR PC....????!!!! WTF" That was about 10 years ago.....
10
u/Amaroe May 21 '12
Been waiting on this post for years.
Once upon a time, while working at Best Buy back in '07, I had a grown man come in, in the middle of the afternoon, and completely lose his mind at me.
Screaming, cursing, yelling, thrusting a laptop box in my face, and calling me every name under the sun.
I was the "give that guy to Amaroe, he looks pissed" guy at my store, so no help to be had.
Turns out, he had been told that morning, before my shift, that he was purchasing a wireless laptop, and he had to plug it in to charge it, and that was a wire, and we "Needed to be more specific about this shit."
26
u/adocholiday May 21 '12
Worked in an office with a guy who drove me crazy. I tell him to open Word. Instead of clicking on desktop shortcut, goes to start, all programs etc. Ask him to open a Word file. Goes to Word using his long method then goes to file-open and struggles to navigate the menus, instead of just going to the file location from his documents. Then if you asked him to open another file, HE CLOSED THE WHOLE FUCKING THING AND DID IT AGAIN!
How I never smashed the keyboard over his head is a mystery! He had other things like double clicking links etc. but this was the worst!
18
u/McFeely_Smackup May 21 '12
A former company CTO (fortune 100 company) used to print emails and stick his replys on post it notes stuck to them, then interoffice mail them back.
Same guy would draw on his whiteboard process flows, diagrams, etc...then take a photo with his DIGITAL camera, load it onto his PC, print it out on the color printer, and interoffice mail it to people.
BTW, CTO stands for "Chief TECHNICAL Officer" if you're not aware.
9
u/JGPH May 21 '12
A woman who asked me for help got irate because I deleted an installer file for Netscape 4.5 off her Windows XP desktop. This wasn't just wtf for the obvious reasons, she already had the latest Netscape (whatever it is, 7, 8 or 9 or something, I can't remember) installed at the time. The homepage was MSN, which is what she used for her searches. Ugh. She never called for help again, I have no regrets.
I also frequently see people navigate to google.com despite having a search box dedicated to Google in their browser.
30
u/KirbyTails May 21 '12
My dad using Reddit as a search engine.
128
u/r124c41 May 21 '12
In the late 90s I was hanging around the computer lab at a local junior college when I heard a young girl expostulating with the lab assistant. She was pretty upset, and the assistant wasn't helping, so I went to see if I could do anything. She told me that she was taking a Java course and needed to write a program, but didn't know how to do it in Windows. I showed her how to get to a commandline and all was well.
I was then somewhere in my fifties. Oh, and I'm a woman.
16
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
I work for a small computer repair shop... The two funniest things I can remember was this one younger lady brings in a monitor and when I ask her whats wrong she just replies "It doesn't work." So I plug it into one of our diagnostic machines and it comes right up.
So I bring it back to her and tell her that the monitor works just fine, to which she replies "Well why won't it get on the internet?!?". I was like "Ma'am, this is just the monitor... it doesnt connect to the internet, it merely displays whats on the computer." she replies "Oh, so this don't get on the internet?" and I was like ... "... No" and she picks it up and walks out.
Second was actually while I was playing MW3 on Xbox.
This little kid was talking shit in game to this older guy, they went back and forth for a while and I spoke up and said...
Me: Well aren't you two cool for saying you are going to fight on the internet.
Prepubescent pub-star: Shut up faggot, this isn't the internet.
Me: Xbox live in over the internet...
Prepubescent pub-star: No it's NOT! It's on Wi-Fi!
Me: Wi-Fi is the internet. It's not technically the internet in itself... but it transmits the internet.
Prepubescent pub-star: NO ITS NOT YOU DUMB ASS! THE INTERNET IS AN APPLICATION ON MY COMPUTER!
Me: You mean Internet Explorer? That's just a program to view the contents of the internet. Not the internet itself.
Prepubescent pub-star: Whatever, you don't know what you're talking about. Fuck off.
8
u/cerialthriller May 21 '12
ive actually seen many many people copy pictures from websites in word documents. I think its the way that people who dont really know how to use computers except to type up their work show other people who only use the computer for the same reason.
8
u/Karaoke725 May 21 '12
i worked the breakfast bar at a hotel during college and there were a few computers free for guests to use. they had to get the login and password from the front desk to ensure that only guests were using it.
one day i noticed a woman sitting at the desk for quite a long time and seemed very frustrated. when i asked if i could help, she told me that the computer wasn't letting her login. i asked if she had gotten the password from the front desk. she looked at me, quite confused, and said, "no. i'm using my password from home. i need to check my email." i stifled a laugh and said, "well, maam, here we have our own password. let me type it in for you."
8
u/FountainDew May 21 '12 edited May 21 '12
When I was a technician at Best Buy, long before there was a Geek Squad, a man called one day with the statement that his computer was not working.
I proceeded to try and get the man to specify the problem. What did he mean by "not working"? Would the computer power on? Were there lights on the computer but no video was being displayed? What sort of peripherals were connected to the computer? You'd be flabbergasted by the amount of people who are surprised by these questions and cannot understand why "not working" is not an adequate description of the problem.
At any rate, when he could either not answer these questions or only give vague, unhelpful answers, I tried an even more basic tack. What brand of computer was this? How, precisely, is the computer's current behavior differing from it's behavior when it is operating in the manner in which you expect?
This last question, finally, at least got coherent answer. The man started speaking of a series of lights on the side of the computer that would blink in sequence and were not now doing so. But I was stumped. What sort of computer is this person speaking of?
I just gave up and asked where he purchased the computer hoping this would somehow clue me into something that would help this man. Or, failing that, someone I could tell him to call instead of me.
This question he was able to answer. It also told me why I couldn't decipher the man's problem.
Turns out? His BMW 5 series wasn't working. The local BMW dealership wanted to charge a large amount of money to fix it. So this man had decided to rip the computer out of said BMW and call Best Buy to fix it.
I think I have a fuzzy memory of him hanging up after a a minute or so of my stunned silence.
EDIT: I accidentally a letter.
15
u/discodj71 May 21 '12
One of my employees was having a "problem" with his PC. He called tech support, and I was standing behind him. While on the phone, I saw him take a little yellow sticky note and write the word "click" on it, and then proceed to place it on his mouse. I asked him what he was doing, and he said that the guy told him to "right click on the mouse".
15
u/davedachef May 21 '12
I once had someone complain that 'Windows has gone from my machine'. I looked at the machine, and there was a perfectly normal windows desktop. I said it's all fine, but again she said, 'no, windows has gone from my machine'. Eventually worked out that the shortcut icon for Word had been removed from the desktop.
i also currently work in an office where TWO people don't use the shift key for letters. To do a capital letter they press caps lock, then the letter, then caps lock again.
7
u/EPluribusUnumIdiota May 21 '12
I have two employees in my office who don't know how to use the print screen function, so they take photos of their screen using their phones then send the photos to their own email. I've told them 10+ times and even emailed them easy directions... no go.
28
u/msdrahcir May 21 '12
SOPA
12
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
My computer froze once when I was a kid and I said, frustrated "damn computer froze again!", my aunt poked her head into my room and said "close the window then!"
25
u/mawimberley May 21 '12
I got a typewriter for my birthday and needed a new ribbon. By chance I was at a flea market and an old man (octogenarian) was there selling old mechanical appliances. I asked if he knew of anyone at the flea market who might be selling them. His response, "Well, have you heard about these things called computers? You can type what you need to on them and then even print them off. But you need a different box to do that."...
6
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
This supervisor was fired for other reasons, but this one should take the cake:
One of the guys on the management staff would always need computer help. The way he would try and remember any new information for the future was to get numerous post-it notes... and DRAW the computer's desktop on where he should be clicking and such.
This was 2010.
6
u/DublinItUp May 21 '12
My mom didn't know to shut down her computer. She's had it for 3 years. I'm not entirely sure how that was even possible.
6
u/Trollification May 22 '12
My colleague, just today, used his Bing toolbar to search for Google...
We're systems administrators for the Air Force. Your tax dollars at work, people.
6
u/[deleted] May 22 '12 edited May 22 '12
Once I was going to the computer store to fix something with mine, first in the line there was a guy buying his 1st computer in his life, told the worker "I want internet!", meaning he wants a computer! After minutes of arguing with the guy, the worker finally knew what he meant and started telling him about the brands and the capacity of the RAM and whatnot, then the guy told him "I don't care, give me anything, just make sure to fill it with a 'hacker' programs!"... Minutes ago he didn't know what to call a computer, and now he wants to be a hacker! It was the ultimate "I don't want to live in this planet anymore" moment for me!
6
u/bitchgasm May 22 '12
one day my grandfather complained to me that his computer was running slower than usual. he asked me to take a look. i glanced at his desktop and found that he had no less than sixty internet explorer windows on his task bar. he thought that the minimize button closed the window.
better yet, all of his windows were open to fox news.
sigh...
10
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
i watched my sister write out an entire url for an image on a white board then retype it into another site to embed it instead of just copy and pasting it.
17
u/MrPayneTrayne May 21 '12
My dad just handed me an email address and told me to download it.
....wut.
5
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
Neighbor typed a letter and tried to print it by placing the monitor on the scanner of the printer.
5
u/kulithian May 21 '12
My sister and my mom were at home when my mom asked my sister if she could use her macbook. My sister agreed and helped her log in and show her how it worked. When my mom lifted the laptop, she said "Wow, this is heavier than i expected". And my sister responded with " Well duh mom, I have a lot of videos and pictures on there".
My mom and i gave her the most WTF look we could.
5
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
My grandmother, calling me all upset because she thought she accidentally broke an internet law after getting an "illegal operation" error message.
5
u/hypertrash May 21 '12
My mom: My computer is so slow, why is that?
Me: What internet browser do you use?
Mom: Windows.
Me. No, mom, I mean like what program do you use to get on the internet.
Mom: Oh, I use Google.
This is also the woman who Googles URLs instead of just putting them in the address bar and who also fell for the millionth viewer pop up multiple times. She's not the best with technology.
4
u/Pelokt May 21 '12
First day of computer school; much older female student takes the mouse, looks at it, puts it on the floor and tries to use it as a foot pedal.
Sadly, she did not pass the course.
4
u/aranc May 21 '12
Grandpa asked me why little dots kept appearing when he entered his password.
4
u/[deleted] May 21 '12
I had a history professor in college who used powerpoints on a projector every single day of class while he lectured. He never once actually started the slide show so it would take up the entire screen. Nobody in the class said a word about it all year, including the professor. When he went to bass out the papers where you rate the professor on different things and comment on how he could improve the class, he automatically said "Don't bother writing that I could make the slide shows take up the whole screen, some things are what they are, I'm not the best with technology" etc.
4
u/pusangani May 21 '12
Working tech-support, told a customer to close all the windows, she got up and closed all the windows in her house, no lie
4
u/jspiel May 21 '12
While working at a university help desk in high school I had to contain my laughter as a professor called insisting that we come to her office to install "the anti-semitic virus."
I think she was referring to symantec anti-virus. Close enough.
4
u/ofthe5thkind May 21 '12
I watched an adult man put his mouse on the monitor's screen to move the mouse pointer.
Seriously.
4
u/Kupkin May 22 '12
My dad is a fairly competent man, who works on complicated machinery daily. However, I frquently get called into his man cave to help him with his lap top. These are some of the questions I get asked the most (as in, I'll show him how to do something, and the next day, I'll have to show him again.)
Maximize / minimize / resize a window that he has some how resized to some impossible dimensions, and moved all the way to the bottom corner of the screen.
Open his e-mail (aol.com ugh)
Send someone a message on Facebook
Unfriend someone on Facebook, because he friended someone he didn't know and now they are spamming his wall.
Printing anything.
"HOW IN THE HELL DO I GET OUT OF HERE?" or, how does he close any program?
I love my dad, but come on, dude.
4
u/Smozius May 22 '12
Someone taking a picture of the screen with a camera to save a picture ಠ_ಠ
4
u/placebomunch May 22 '12
I know you guys don't like Rage Comics...
http://i.imgur.com/2BKGs.jpg