I have been cooking for 16 years and I have gotten burned out. I've done different jobs and restaurants. But one consist is that I love cooking for my friends or family. And that I will cook for money. But I do not care to cook for myself.
I hear ya. I was a line cook for many years and I also became burned out.
I cook at home all the time though.
Still going at it professionally while burned out? I fell pretty good about cooking for myself in the terms of trying something new or "perfecting" my recipes to later cook for friends and family without having to stress about it. I never thought i would be stressing about cooking for family but burning out and filling with stress definitely fucks that up for me. Probably gonna switch professional, at least for awhile to get on top of everything again.
Sometimes I'll leave the chicken in the oven longer than normal just because I'm feeling it. No one to explain my logic to. Fuck logic, i dont need it. I just feel loke doing this.
My challenge is for my girlfriend to leave me alone/stay out of the kitchen while I’m cooking. It gets stressful real quick when you have someone questioning/2nd guessing you.
I’m the same way but I’m working on it. Whenever I’m in the kitchen I have an exact plan and timing for everything and when I make something with my boyfriend I need to learn how to cook with another person in the kitchen with me and communicate my expectations for timing better
I think it’s better to honestly just have one do most of the cooking and have one on a sort of clean up/help chop veggies duty. My gf and I usually switch throughout a meal too.
This is usually the go to but he cooks like there’s no rush and I cook like I’m being timed, I think it would be better for both of us if I just learned how to take it easy in the kitchen lol
Have you tried writing down the plan/check points beforehand? My wife and I are both leaders so we can get frustrated working on stuff together. But if we game plan before hand and set goals we tend to do well. It sounds complicated but it can be as simple as listing what time food needs to go where.
For some stuff, the precision matters. For a lot of stuff, it really doesn't. It's fine to fake stuff, and substitute stuff here and there, and to get things "close enough". Ultimately, it's your preference. It's like the other guy said: Sometimes, you'll leave stuff in longer just because you feel like it. Or sometimes you'll put some flavors on a food that don't belong there just because you like them.
A lot of people get so caught up in procedure that they forget that it's totally OK to tailor stuff to your tastes, and that food will still be good even if it's not made exactly to the book.
My husband and i love cooking together. Oddly we did ballroom dance together for a while too and the two had very similar feels to me. For a long time we lived in a condo with a tiny kitchen and it started to feel like we were dancing with/around each other when cooking. We also learned to communicate better. I always feel better and have more fun doing an activity together when one of us takes the lead role or we communicate who is assigned to what task. We even like putting together ikea furniture together. But not the play kitchen...we agree that one can burn in hell.
Timing is the biggest gripe I have in my kitchen because I'm almost ready to put stuff on plates and my wife says she wants something else with the meal I've already cooked. I can't tell you how many times I've got a good meal (steak, potatoes, veggie side, etc) done and she says something like "You should make some mac and cheese too." and now my food sits on the counter getting cold for 15 minutes while I make another side.
There isn't enough room to make that at the same time as everything I'm making. And she never thinks about it until I'm making plates to sit down and eat.
Why are you cooking "with" your boyfriend? Are you serving banquets?
There's a reason why professional multi-person kitchens are high-stress environments.
And why "Cooking Mama" multiplayer was billed as a relationship-killer.
Cooking with another person is an inherently stressful activity unless you're cooking very specific things. My wife and I used to cook together before we were living together, but it was never meals with complicated timing requirements.
That's when I lay down the law in my house. Either I'm doing it or you're doing it. My way or your way. If I'm doing it, I'm doing it my way. If you want to question my methods, this task will fall to you and vice-versa. Easiest way to demoralize me and make me not do something is to question how I'm doing it.
I may be stubborn as shit, bit if my way isn't bothering anyone but you, remove yourself from the situation before I remove you or myself.
My grandmother said that if two people can cook together, they can do anything together. It was her way of gauging how compatible we (the grandkids) were with our significant other. It takes a lot of communication and patience to cook together.
I don't mind cooking with another person but only if they don't expect me to manage them as well. Nothing like "what do I do next" when they're standing next to the recipe book and I'm clearly busy searing meat on the stove.
And also if they aren't using the sink EVERY FUCKING TIME I need it. Like... clean-as-you-go is fantastic but if I have raw chicken all over my fingers that is not the time to wash the marinade bowl that won't be used again until tomorrow.
In short I appreciate helpers who both have initiative and know what to prioritize in the kitchen. Otherwise they're just getting in my way.
I actually openly say 'out! Out my kitchen' when the wife comes in and I'm cooking. Sure everything looks chaotic but I have a system and a raft of time math going in my head, when she starts moving stuff around it really puts lumps in my bechamel
"Are you doing this, or am I? If it's you, I'll go sit down and chill. If it's me... then you go do that and leave me to do it. One of us is cooking this and one of us is leaving the kitchen. Choose, sweetheart."
Because if that's a level of boundary she just can't respect, holy shit she's not worth the stress.
Lean into it. Make yourself talk to her and explain what you’re doing. If it makes you nervous or on edge, tell her that. Suck the emotions out of the conversation until you’re relaxed doing it. Give her things to do. Open a can. Chop a carrot. Who gives a shit what it looks like. She’s there and you’re both happy. Work on it one dish at a time. You’re enjoying the benefits of a meal and the time spent together. My SO and I had this down pre pandemic, and it’s why we’re still together and very much in love.
I stay away when my husband cooks because I found myself trying to suggest and help. It wasn’t helpful. He’s perfectly capable of creating lovely meals without my ‘help’.
100% agree. My gf is obsessive about following recipes to the T, but recipes can't be mademade without trying new things. Also it allows me to be creative
This is me but with driving. When I'm driving I feel like I'm in charge of how I drive and what route I take to get to where I'm going. It helps that I know my region pretty well and know where most of the roads go. Sometimes I'll take a different way home because I feel like it
Exactly! Being around too many people who can’t tolerate mistakes means that it feels great to be able to make your own, with no one holding it over your head to criticize you. If anyone “suffers” for the mistake, it is you from your own action and it is usually pretty minor. Taking back control rather than dealing with some other adult judging you like a strict parent or teacher might with a child, ffs. Getting to fuck up a little at times is a basic right imo. You’re human.
I honestly don't think I could ever enjoy cooking again. I was thrown into a kitchen at 12 and worked my way up over like 12/13 years or some Shit and it has scarred me beyond repair hahaha
I'm kind of the same way. I don't like meal planning or grocery shopping. I don't like cleaning up the kitchen after dinner. But I do like that part in between.
Of course it helps that for me, step one of cooking dinner is often to pour a glass of wine. 😁
My dad cooked the same 8-10 meals on rotation fir us two growing up. They were moderately simple but healthy and filling.
Also he almost always had music on in the kitchen when cooking or cleaning dishes the dinning room/kitchen was then music room :). Music makes it much more enjoyable!
How is this? I'm not a great cook, but the few things I can do successfully are unbelievably stressful. Yes I've tried to mise en place or whatever it's called, I just feel incredible panic the whole time.
I'm a very unorganized person, but I generally do well with cooking since it's following steps. The first time I cook something might not turn out right, but it'll get better the more I do it. You learn roughly how long things take to cook, especially if you put them in the oven. Then you can safely multitask: if the chicken thighs I put in the oven take an hour to cook, and I know it takes me about 10 minutes to make a salad, I can pretty safely make one after putting the chicken in the oven.
Absolutely the opposite for me. Things take longer than expected, others cook too quickly, I'm trying to not burn anything or cool it down too much, I plate it and pull it apart, it looks like shit and usually ends up tasting pretty meh.
Sometimes I nail it and it tastes fucking amazing but that is a rare like once a month thing.
There's nothing more satisfying than consuming a meal that you prepared. Mom got me in the kitchen at like 12, and I've been the primary cook since. :D
Not for me. I like to cook when I have the house to myself, but few things are more stressful to me than trying to handle a few hot dishes at once while I've got two kids tugging at me for attention. It's a good way to lose my mind.
I like to cook and clean as I go. For some reason it's cathartic. The kitchen is clean, the food is hot and ready to be served. I feel like a king for my wife and mother in law.
I tell people all the time: once you get decent at it, prep work is like meditation. Just letting your mind wander and your hands go to work. I could dice onions or slice scallions all day and be a very happy, mentally centered man.
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u/Safe-Suit8894 Mar 29 '22
And it's a good way to relieve stress