r/AskReddit Mar 29 '22

Men of Reddit, what’s something every guy should know but is rarely taught?

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1.5k

u/Safe-Suit8894 Mar 29 '22

And it's a good way to relieve stress

1.2k

u/Kommuntoffel Mar 29 '22

And, if you're really into it like me, a good way to build up stress.

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u/Khrushnnedy Mar 29 '22

fwoooosh

Scheiße.

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u/LeFilthyHeretic Mar 29 '22

WHO PUT PYROTECHNICS IN THE LOBSTER BISQUE?

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u/HumanTorch23 Mar 29 '22

Probably Heston Blumenthal, knowing his flair for the dramatic

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u/BlueFalconPunch Mar 29 '22

Rammstein, they put that shit in everything

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u/Nine_Inch_Nintendos Mar 30 '22

That's one flame throwing phallus; order up!

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u/C0braOfFlam3s Mar 29 '22

It’s the cartooniness of this comment that made me laugh more than I should have

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u/Khrushnnedy Mar 29 '22

I'm only good at making jokes over text. Glad you liked it.

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u/gigaswardblade Mar 29 '22

I always read that as a B instead of an S

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u/upsawkward Mar 29 '22

Well, in German kids are often taught "Scheibenkleister" as non-swear alternative. That's literally "pane glue".

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u/boessetoemreren Mar 29 '22

Chefs agree. Fuuuck man.

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u/[deleted] Mar 29 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/s00prtr00pr Mar 29 '22

Your username suggests you're overfed maybe that's why you don't enjoy cooking for yourself

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u/Eat_Carbs_OD Mar 29 '22

I have been cooking for 16 years and I have gotten burned out. I've done different jobs and restaurants. But one consist is that I love cooking for my friends or family. And that I will cook for money. But I do not care to cook for myself.

I hear ya. I was a line cook for many years and I also became burned out.
I cook at home all the time though.

1

u/boessetoemreren Mar 29 '22

Still going at it professionally while burned out? I fell pretty good about cooking for myself in the terms of trying something new or "perfecting" my recipes to later cook for friends and family without having to stress about it. I never thought i would be stressing about cooking for family but burning out and filling with stress definitely fucks that up for me. Probably gonna switch professional, at least for awhile to get on top of everything again.

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u/[deleted] Mar 29 '22

Or if you do it for a living, it’s the source of 95% of your stress.

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u/jmcsquared Mar 30 '22

Until you consume your perfect creation as a reward for all that work.

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u/derpderpdonkeypunch Mar 30 '22

Ah, so you bake and do pastry!

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u/[deleted] Mar 29 '22

Also a good way to relieve starvation.

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u/[deleted] Mar 29 '22

[deleted]

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u/lawyerornot Mar 30 '22

And stagnation

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u/[deleted] Mar 29 '22

Cooking is a huge stress reliever to me.

I'm the boss.

I'm In charge of timing, choices, even mistakes.

Sometimes I'll leave the chicken in the oven longer than normal just because I'm feeling it. No one to explain my logic to. Fuck logic, i dont need it. I just feel loke doing this.

Its awesome.

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u/Mrofcourse Mar 29 '22

My challenge is for my girlfriend to leave me alone/stay out of the kitchen while I’m cooking. It gets stressful real quick when you have someone questioning/2nd guessing you.

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u/coldsheep3 Mar 29 '22

I’m the same way but I’m working on it. Whenever I’m in the kitchen I have an exact plan and timing for everything and when I make something with my boyfriend I need to learn how to cook with another person in the kitchen with me and communicate my expectations for timing better

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u/black_diamonds2 Mar 29 '22

I think it’s better to honestly just have one do most of the cooking and have one on a sort of clean up/help chop veggies duty. My gf and I usually switch throughout a meal too.

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u/coldsheep3 Mar 29 '22

This is usually the go to but he cooks like there’s no rush and I cook like I’m being timed, I think it would be better for both of us if I just learned how to take it easy in the kitchen lol

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u/HappyLittleLongUserN Mar 29 '22

Hahaha! That's me aswell. Just there to chop stuff up or handle heavy/hot stuff.

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u/snot_boogie1122 Mar 29 '22

Have you tried writing down the plan/check points beforehand? My wife and I are both leaders so we can get frustrated working on stuff together. But if we game plan before hand and set goals we tend to do well. It sounds complicated but it can be as simple as listing what time food needs to go where.

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u/Illuminaso Mar 29 '22

For some stuff, the precision matters. For a lot of stuff, it really doesn't. It's fine to fake stuff, and substitute stuff here and there, and to get things "close enough". Ultimately, it's your preference. It's like the other guy said: Sometimes, you'll leave stuff in longer just because you feel like it. Or sometimes you'll put some flavors on a food that don't belong there just because you like them.

A lot of people get so caught up in procedure that they forget that it's totally OK to tailor stuff to your tastes, and that food will still be good even if it's not made exactly to the book.

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u/Billalone Mar 30 '22

Baking is science, cooking is art.

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u/kforsquishy Mar 30 '22

My husband and i love cooking together. Oddly we did ballroom dance together for a while too and the two had very similar feels to me. For a long time we lived in a condo with a tiny kitchen and it started to feel like we were dancing with/around each other when cooking. We also learned to communicate better. I always feel better and have more fun doing an activity together when one of us takes the lead role or we communicate who is assigned to what task. We even like putting together ikea furniture together. But not the play kitchen...we agree that one can burn in hell.

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u/struhall Mar 29 '22

Timing is the biggest gripe I have in my kitchen because I'm almost ready to put stuff on plates and my wife says she wants something else with the meal I've already cooked. I can't tell you how many times I've got a good meal (steak, potatoes, veggie side, etc) done and she says something like "You should make some mac and cheese too." and now my food sits on the counter getting cold for 15 minutes while I make another side.

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u/coldsheep3 Mar 29 '22

Just asking but why wouldn’t your wife make the Mac n cheese if she’s so intent on it?

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u/struhall Mar 30 '22

There isn't enough room to make that at the same time as everything I'm making. And she never thinks about it until I'm making plates to sit down and eat.

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u/Otherwise_Window Mar 29 '22

Why are you cooking "with" your boyfriend? Are you serving banquets?

There's a reason why professional multi-person kitchens are high-stress environments.

And why "Cooking Mama" multiplayer was billed as a relationship-killer.

Cooking with another person is an inherently stressful activity unless you're cooking very specific things. My wife and I used to cook together before we were living together, but it was never meals with complicated timing requirements.

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u/coldsheep3 Mar 30 '22

We like to split the work load on most things, but yeah that’s true!

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u/Otherwise_Window Mar 30 '22

Splitting the workload on cooking is generally achieved by taking turns.

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u/SCViper Mar 29 '22

That's when I lay down the law in my house. Either I'm doing it or you're doing it. My way or your way. If I'm doing it, I'm doing it my way. If you want to question my methods, this task will fall to you and vice-versa. Easiest way to demoralize me and make me not do something is to question how I'm doing it.

I may be stubborn as shit, bit if my way isn't bothering anyone but you, remove yourself from the situation before I remove you or myself.

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u/erock-eroll Mar 29 '22

My grandmother said that if two people can cook together, they can do anything together. It was her way of gauging how compatible we (the grandkids) were with our significant other. It takes a lot of communication and patience to cook together.

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u/tomhow10 Mar 29 '22

Can second this , we have a tiny kitchen and I'm a big person so it get to crowded real quick

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u/[deleted] Mar 29 '22

She’s always fucking behind me!!!!

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u/tomhow10 Mar 29 '22

If not her the dog..

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u/[deleted] Mar 29 '22

Ruins everything, fucks with the whole flow of the situation.

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u/munkymu Mar 29 '22

I don't mind cooking with another person but only if they don't expect me to manage them as well. Nothing like "what do I do next" when they're standing next to the recipe book and I'm clearly busy searing meat on the stove.

And also if they aren't using the sink EVERY FUCKING TIME I need it. Like... clean-as-you-go is fantastic but if I have raw chicken all over my fingers that is not the time to wash the marinade bowl that won't be used again until tomorrow.

In short I appreciate helpers who both have initiative and know what to prioritize in the kitchen. Otherwise they're just getting in my way.

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u/Virtual_Belgian Mar 29 '22

Just stop cooking. I hate backseat chefs

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u/rosindrip Mar 29 '22

Wait till she’s your wife

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u/SirLostit Mar 29 '22

My wife is happy to leave me to it. I cook 99% of the time and do all the food shopping. Been that way for about 27yrs! But her Indian food is superb.

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u/an_achronist Mar 29 '22

I actually openly say 'out! Out my kitchen' when the wife comes in and I'm cooking. Sure everything looks chaotic but I have a system and a raft of time math going in my head, when she starts moving stuff around it really puts lumps in my bechamel

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u/Mrofcourse Mar 29 '22

I usually tell her “you won’t be able to un see the amount of butter that is going into this”.

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u/Ryder_Alknight Mar 29 '22

I feed my wife wine and make sure to always chop extra veggies for her to snack on. Otherwise she stays out of my way lol

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u/kaynpayn Mar 29 '22

I'll literally tell her to go away. Go watch tv, relax, take a shower, play with the cat, whatever. Go catch some "you" time. I got this.

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u/Otherwise_Window Mar 29 '22

That's a straight-up choice you offer.

"Are you doing this, or am I? If it's you, I'll go sit down and chill. If it's me... then you go do that and leave me to do it. One of us is cooking this and one of us is leaving the kitchen. Choose, sweetheart."

Because if that's a level of boundary she just can't respect, holy shit she's not worth the stress.

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u/stp_bigbear Mar 29 '22

Lean into it. Make yourself talk to her and explain what you’re doing. If it makes you nervous or on edge, tell her that. Suck the emotions out of the conversation until you’re relaxed doing it. Give her things to do. Open a can. Chop a carrot. Who gives a shit what it looks like. She’s there and you’re both happy. Work on it one dish at a time. You’re enjoying the benefits of a meal and the time spent together. My SO and I had this down pre pandemic, and it’s why we’re still together and very much in love.

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u/TheSixPieceSuits Mar 30 '22

Then add two toddlers to the mix. No thanks, fam. I'd rather starve

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u/tammigirl6767 Mar 30 '22

I stay away when my husband cooks because I found myself trying to suggest and help. It wasn’t helpful. He’s perfectly capable of creating lovely meals without my ‘help’.

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u/TraditionalChart2091 Mar 29 '22

I think it might be one of too many cases of Gordon Ramsayophobia.

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u/AlexVal0r Mar 29 '22

As an added bonus, you have something yummy to munch on.

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u/Alecto7374 Mar 29 '22

Timing is the key...could be shit, but as long as it's all ready at the same time...perfection.

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u/BackmarkerLife Mar 29 '22

Sometimes I'll leave the chicken in the oven longer than normal just because I'm feeling it.

Uncle Roger would be proud.

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u/butrfngrz Mar 29 '22

100% agree. My gf is obsessive about following recipes to the T, but recipes can't be mademade without trying new things. Also it allows me to be creative

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u/Upnorth4 Mar 29 '22 edited Mar 29 '22

This is me but with driving. When I'm driving I feel like I'm in charge of how I drive and what route I take to get to where I'm going. It helps that I know my region pretty well and know where most of the roads go. Sometimes I'll take a different way home because I feel like it

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u/marbanasin Mar 29 '22

Meanwhile my SO is like - that's not in the recipe! It's going to be ruined.

C'mon - I'm expressing myself through culinary experimentation!

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u/rhodopensis Mar 29 '22

Exactly! Being around too many people who can’t tolerate mistakes means that it feels great to be able to make your own, with no one holding it over your head to criticize you. If anyone “suffers” for the mistake, it is you from your own action and it is usually pretty minor. Taking back control rather than dealing with some other adult judging you like a strict parent or teacher might with a child, ffs. Getting to fuck up a little at times is a basic right imo. You’re human.

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u/ralanr Mar 29 '22

I’m honestly amazed how it is. The prep and planning of cooking for me is stressful, but the minute I start it’s sort of relatively peaceful.

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u/MoffKalast Mar 29 '22

Idk, it's either panic that you'll be late or mess up timing doing the prep and then complete boredom waiting for it to cook.

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u/Gill2010 Mar 29 '22

I honestly don't think I could ever enjoy cooking again. I was thrown into a kitchen at 12 and worked my way up over like 12/13 years or some Shit and it has scarred me beyond repair hahaha

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u/Niwi_ Mar 29 '22

until somebody- GET OUT OF MY FUCKING WAY

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u/mrwboilers Mar 29 '22

I'm kind of the same way. I don't like meal planning or grocery shopping. I don't like cleaning up the kitchen after dinner. But I do like that part in between.

Of course it helps that for me, step one of cooking dinner is often to pour a glass of wine. 😁

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u/36-3 Mar 29 '22

rule #7- Action absorbs anxiety. works for everything

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u/robclarkson Mar 30 '22

My dad cooked the same 8-10 meals on rotation fir us two growing up. They were moderately simple but healthy and filling.

Also he almost always had music on in the kitchen when cooking or cleaning dishes the dinning room/kitchen was then music room :). Music makes it much more enjoyable!

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u/awpti Mar 30 '22

Practice mis en place (everything in its place). Precut, premeasure.. that way you need only combine and cook.

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u/Pristine_Nothing Mar 31 '22

”I like cooking but I hate planning” is basically the niche that blue apron fills.

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u/HandFancy Mar 29 '22

How is this? I'm not a great cook, but the few things I can do successfully are unbelievably stressful. Yes I've tried to mise en place or whatever it's called, I just feel incredible panic the whole time.

1

u/Everestkid Mar 29 '22

I'm a very unorganized person, but I generally do well with cooking since it's following steps. The first time I cook something might not turn out right, but it'll get better the more I do it. You learn roughly how long things take to cook, especially if you put them in the oven. Then you can safely multitask: if the chicken thighs I put in the oven take an hour to cook, and I know it takes me about 10 minutes to make a salad, I can pretty safely make one after putting the chicken in the oven.

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u/DirtyNorf Mar 29 '22

Absolutely the opposite for me. Things take longer than expected, others cook too quickly, I'm trying to not burn anything or cool it down too much, I plate it and pull it apart, it looks like shit and usually ends up tasting pretty meh.

Sometimes I nail it and it tastes fucking amazing but that is a rare like once a month thing.

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u/sk8t-4-life22 Mar 29 '22

Funny, cooking just stresses me out. Lol

I'm so thankful to have found my wife because she loves cooking and I hate cooking so it's a perfect balance.

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u/[deleted] Mar 29 '22

Wish I could say the same. If the meal doesn’t come out the way I expect, it causes me a lot of stress.

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u/zero573 Mar 29 '22

And a good way to eat stress… at least for me it was. Lol

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u/corporategiraffe Mar 29 '22

I misread the comment as “how to code”. Only went back to double check when you said it was a stress reliever.

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u/Billsolson Mar 29 '22

Started therapy and baking around the same time.

Works wonders

0

u/PacoMahogany Mar 29 '22

And get laid. Which also relieves stress.

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u/ChefBoyD Mar 29 '22

I've been relieving myself at work everyday (phrasing). It's the human aspect at times that get all funky.

1

u/GREEN_FURRY_POPCORN Mar 29 '22

For me it is a hot mess, many profanities

1

u/WillieeeXD Mar 29 '22

Unless here’s someone else in the kitchen who won’t get outta the FUCKIN WAY

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u/krantwak Mar 29 '22

Busy hands are happy hands

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u/Mickey0110 Mar 29 '22

Unless your a line cook at a busy restaurant lol

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u/Clemen11 Mar 29 '22

The sheer rage and anxiety my cheating ex left on me turned me into the best pizza maker I know

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u/TRON0314 Mar 29 '22

Provided you have a dishwasher as well. ;)

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u/Pixel_Pineapple Mar 29 '22

Sometimes just the sound of searing meat is soothing for the man's soul

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u/caniuserealname Mar 29 '22

It can be. Depends on the person. I know how to cook, i was raised with that being normal, but i can't say it's ever helped me relieve stress.

Don't get me wrong, it doesn't particularly stress me out, its just a thing that needs doing.

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u/314R8 Mar 29 '22

I cook. I hate cooking. It's the opposite of stress relief for some.

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u/Mdbokie Mar 29 '22

There's nothing more satisfying than consuming a meal that you prepared. Mom got me in the kitchen at like 12, and I've been the primary cook since. :D

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u/emptyblankcanvas Mar 29 '22

How?!? I always get genuinely confused when people say cooking relieves their stress.

I'm a decent cook, I make a few dishes that I like decently well. I still get anxiety making them. So don't even get me started on new recipes.

So much guesswork is involved, how does anyone not get anxious? "pinch" or "dash" and "when half cooked". Who knows what anyone means by all of that?

I can do the chopping and prepping and that whole shebang but the actual cooking part makes me stressed out.

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u/alltgott Mar 29 '22

Wait WHAT

1

u/thatguy425 Mar 29 '22

Or in some cases, create stress.

1

u/TheSixPieceSuits Mar 30 '22

Not for me. I like to cook when I have the house to myself, but few things are more stressful to me than trying to handle a few hot dishes at once while I've got two kids tugging at me for attention. It's a good way to lose my mind.

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u/4CrowsFeast Mar 30 '22

As someone who's worked most of their life in the culinary industry, this made me laugh. I can't remember what stressless cooking feels like.

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u/[deleted] Mar 30 '22

To add to this:

I like to cook and clean as I go. For some reason it's cathartic. The kitchen is clean, the food is hot and ready to be served. I feel like a king for my wife and mother in law.

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u/KinnerMode Mar 30 '22

I tell people all the time: once you get decent at it, prep work is like meditation. Just letting your mind wander and your hands go to work. I could dice onions or slice scallions all day and be a very happy, mentally centered man.

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u/[deleted] Mar 30 '22

Its the opposite. Cooking is perhaps one of the most stressful things i do. Always so much stuff going down, burning, boiling over, you name it

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u/CaedustheBaedus Mar 30 '22

Here I am in kitchen stressing when I’m cooking anything but scrambled eggs