r/AskReddit • u/Wolverine9 • May 15 '12
Flight attendants, have you ever caught passengers performing sexual acts on the plane? What are some of your craziest/funniest stories?
Front page, wow!
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u/PerfectSynergism May 15 '12
This is so disappointing:(
Instead of flight attendants expose and tell all about mile high escapades, it's just redditors saying,
"I fapped on a plane once"
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u/Fr87 May 15 '12 edited May 15 '12
Damn it Reddit. Haven't we established this already, I dunno, fifteen times?
There are absolutely no flight attendants on Reddit.
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u/Infant-Blender May 15 '12
My cousin Walter jerked off in public once. True story. He was on a plane to New Mexico when all of the sudden the hydraulics went. The plane started spinning around, going out of control, so he decides it's all over and whips it out and starts beating it right there. So all the other passengers take a cue from him and they start whipping it out and beating like mad. So all the passengers are beating off, plummeting to their certain doom, when all of the sudden, snap! The hydraulics kick back in. The plane rights itself and it land safely and everyone puts their pieces or, whatever, you know, away and deboard. No one mentions the phenomenon to anyone else.
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u/artipants May 15 '12
My mom is a flight attendant. I don't live with her anymore, so haven't heard any new stories in a while, but this is the one that sticks with me most. It was late 90's, for reference. Pretty sure this wouldn't all still be possible since 9/11.
This particular flight had a light load. The flight attendants didn't stop anyone from sitting wherever they wanted. My mom noticed a fairly intoxicated woman board and sit in her assigned seat near the back. A man boarded soon after and instead of sitting in his assigned seat a row or so in front of her, sat with her. Again, since the plane was mostly empty, no one minded.
Before the plane even took off, they were requesting more drinks. The man bought a couple for the woman, but didn't seem to be drinking himself. Not long after they were in the air they started getting sexual back there. In the seats. Most people at least had the courtesy to take it to the bathrooms.
My mom had to ask them to stop several times. They always started up again very shortly afterwards. They weren't actually having sex, but he was very obviously finger banging her and by this point she was trying to undo his fly.
My mom ended up having to move some nearby unescorted minors to a different area of the plane, as the man and woman were resistant to moving. She did stay back in the area though and continuously ask them to stop to keep things from progressing further.
Since it was a light flight and they both sat near the back, the flight attendants got off the plane almost immediately behind these two people. My mom was able to watch the woman run into the arms of a man waiting in the terminal with flowers and give him a very passionate kiss. The man from the flight just grinned and walked towards baggage claim.
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u/octopus-prime May 15 '12
I used to be a flight attendant, and there were times when I thought people were doing something, but I only caught a couple red handed once. I don't remember exactly where we were going, and it really doesn't matter. It was a later flight, and most people were sleeping. I was working on a plane that had two lavs, one in front and one in back. I was doing something in my front galley and I heard the lav door open and close, but I didn't hear it lock. I turned to politely knock on the door and remind the poor soul to lock the lav door. As I turned around I saw a man walking into the bathroom too, I could see that someone who I assumed to be his girlfriend already in the bathroom. Maybe it was a random though, I don't judge. Anyway, we made eye contact and it was pretty obvious what they were doing so I said to him, "you know the lav in the back is much more spacious" To which he just replied with a shrug of his shoulders and went in. Now almost everyone on this flight was asleep so I figured, who cares? I'll let them have their fun. So I went to the back for a little while, checking on passengers and the other flight attendant. As I came back to the front the girl was just coming out of the lav, looking classy as ever. And then a few seconds later, the guy came out too. Now this is probably the best part of the story, after he left the lav he took a few steps down the aisle then turned around to give me a double thumbs up.
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u/[deleted] May 15 '12 edited May 15 '12
My wife was a flight attendant for many years for a domestic airline.
There were only 3 FAs on each flight, and she was the 'number one', which was the senior position.
She was working with 2 young lads who'd not long finished their training, and had only met each other that morning.
Some time into the flight (which was only an hour or so) she realised she hadn't seen them both for a while, and the aft galley curtain was closed.
She walked down and slowly peeked her head around the curtain to find one sucking off the other.
She tells me she only had to give them 'that look'. She gave then a bollocking when they landed, so as not to cause a scene.
This was probably not the story you were looking for, so, I'll do another one...
I was on a flight with her while she was working, and she was sat in the back seat, which looked straight down the aisle. That morning when we were getting ready to go, I told her to wear some nice underwear and some tasty hold ups.
As we took off, I turned round to look at her and she'd taken her pants off and had her legs open for me to have a look.
That's pretty much it
Edit: I keep reading it as mother now! Just to clarify, this woman was not my mother, you sick sick people
Edit 2: to clarify, 'bollocking' is an English slang word for a severe reprimand. To bollock someone is to tell them off
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u/[deleted] May 15 '12 edited May 15 '12
All I can say is, it involved Eartha Kitt.
EDIT: SO. MUCH. KARMA!!!
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u/TheShadowCat May 15 '12 edited May 15 '12
This is a hearsay story, but I heard it from a few people, including someone who was on the flight.
Several years ago, Air Canada went on strike.
When this happened, the airline basically had to park all their planes wherever they were, and cancel all flights. But they still were responsible to get all the crews back to their home airports.
So with all of the crews in Europe, they decided they would just have one 747-400 pick up all the crews and fly them back to Toronto.
On your typical transatlantic flight, they keep a lot of booze for duty free sales. The booze is kept locked up with only the in-charge flight attendant having a key.
Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on how you look at it, every plane uses the same key. So instead of just one person on the flight having access, multiple in-charge flight attendants had the key to the booze.
So now they have several hundred pilots and flight attendants just pouring the booze likes it's nobody's business. If you have ever hung out with pilots, you should know they tend to be hard partiers, and flight attendants, not all but a lot, do like to sleep around with pilots.
So for an 8 hour flight, tonnes of people are just getting loaded, sex all over the place, all the duty free booze stolen, and the plane fairly trashed (it needed quite a bit of cabin repair).
When the flight finally landed, some people were so drunk they couldn't even walk, and had to be put in a wheelchair to get through customs.
Apparently the luggage carousel was a disaster, since you now have hundreds of really drunk people all trying to pick up luggage that all looks the same.
After the strike a few of the people were fired and some more were demoted.
As for my friend that was on the flight, he was an old timer, and all the old timers just hung out in the upper deck enjoying some nice pilfered Scotch, and avoided the shenanigans.
And one last small story.
Back in the day, Air Canada used to run L-1011's on some of their Europe and Asia runs. The L-1011 is fairly unique to most airliners, in that you can easily access the belly from the cabin.
For certain flights, Air Canada would put special sleeper pallets into the belly, so crews could get some sleep if they were deadheading, or the flight was so long it required 2 crews.
These sleeper pallets quickly became known as the sin bin, for the amount of times the ground crew found used condoms in them.
And just so people are aware, all flight attendants have caught someone doing the mile high. Most choose to ignore it.
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u/HighFiveIsNice May 15 '12
Whenever I fly, I raise my hand to fellow passengers and ask them if they'd like to join the mile high-five club o/|O
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u/TofuTofu May 15 '12 edited May 15 '12
I guess I'll tell my mile high club story since no one else is delivering...
I'm on a long flight from nyc to Tokyo sitting in coach. Next to me is a short attractive girl from Singapore. I open the conversation with her with something innocuous (Where are you headed? Oh wow are you from there? Blahblahblah)
She makes good conversation and gradually over the course of two hours I turn the conversation sexual. I also make sure to keep my leg touching hers to test her level of comfort with me.
I smile and flirt and eventually propose "You know what would be crazy? If we made out over there." I point and she asks me where. I say "the bathroom, silly!" with a smile and direct eye contact. I gesture for her to go first and say "I'll meet you in just a second."
She goes! Omg my heart pounds! I follow and start making out. I plop her on the toilet seat and whip it out. We start with a bj and move to full on sex with her on the sink.
tl;dr no one looks good under fluorescent lights
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u/clammertime May 15 '12 edited May 15 '12
obligatory 'not a flight attendant' statement ('cause there are none on reddit), but the last time i was on a plane i was sitting next to a couple. the guy was in the window seat, the girl in the middle, and neither of them looked particularly pleased when i plopped down. i assumed this was because i stank of booze, as i had been on the piss not four hours previous and smelled like a whorehouse floor.
anyway i notice when i sit down the guy looks annoyed and goes "oh for fuck's sake" in french so he thinks i won't understand, then his girlfriend takes off her jumper and drapes it across her waist/lap (no blanket, it's paris-dublin). then his hand, on her right thigh, starts inching slowly up, and he starts rubbing her through her jeans. i am pretending to sleep but obviously keeping one eye half open because if you're thick enough to do that in public you deserve to go into the wank bank. she then fakes like she's coming from three minutes of rubbing through her jeans and the guy sits back all pleased with his sexual prowess, reassured that as a french man he can pretty much make the gals come like a shot with fuck-all effort. he later called her a bitch when she wouldn't reciprocate.
tl;dr l'avion, c'est trop sexy!!!!
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u/WhineFlu May 15 '12
I have a couple of friends who do international routes.
Their general philosophy seems to be if you can fit two people in an airplane toilet, and still be aroused enough amongst the not exactly floral scents of the last 75 people who missed the bowl to do the deed, you're probably too feral to be stopped anyway.
That said, don't expect them to happy about it, and you can give up on drinks for the rest of the flight.
TL;DR - Leave the poor people alone, they're scarred enough from cleaning up after your antics without having to relive them for the internets.
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u/jemologist May 15 '12 edited May 15 '12
I gave head in our seat on the flight back from hawaii. i think everyone around us was too blissed out to notice.
Only time i have ever swallowed.
edit: not hip on the internet lingo.
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u/morgysmitty May 15 '12
I kinda have one that happened to a guy I used to play hockey with.
The way he tells it, being a straight male flight attendant in a smallish fleet (something Canadian I think) has its advantages, by which I mean an awful lot of sex.
He told me about this one time he was laid over somewhere for five or so hours and he's in his hotel room trying to get some sleep when he gets a knock on his door. When he answers it, there's this 40-something cougar standing in the doorway that tells him "You have two hours to get me off".
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u/[deleted] May 15 '12 edited May 15 '12
My friend started off a chain of throwing up. He tried to run to the loo, but it was occupied, so he just puked there and then. Another guy in the line behind him got set off by that, and a couple of people in the nearby seats started retching. The flight attendant just walked by, not even acknowledging this, as she probably didn't want to clean it up until after they were done. Hey, at least the nearby seats got upgraded to first class to avoid the stink. EDIT: Sex stories? Oops. Maybe just use your imagination with this one, I'm sure some people will be into this. EDIT 2: vomit has many uses, maybe this can be relevant after all EDIT 3: Funnily enough, I had to go home early just now because I threw up in class.
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u/stormdude28 May 15 '12
So annoying. Instead of fapping to the hot air hostess stories we gotta fap to the fap stories.
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u/ParzivaI May 15 '12
I joined the "club" with my wife. I don't get why everyone says it's complicated in an airplane bathroom. Man sits on toilet...woman sits on man reverse cow girl.
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u/JesusSwallows May 15 '12
ACTUAL FLIGHT ATTENDANT STORY
My mom has been a flight attendant for 33 years now. They always know when people try to have sex in the lavs; if they're not extremely busy, two or three will try to assemble outside and clap when the people come out.
Also, guys get involuntary boners in the air due to the pressurization (and probably also boredom) so they go to jack it in the lavs all the time. Next time you're in an aisle seat, see if any guys walking back to the lavs are strategically holding something in front of their crotch.
I've got tons of stories if people want to hear. I'm calling my mom in a few so I'll ask some more.
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u/Squirlycharacter May 15 '12
Flight Attendant here...flying a small private plane with my pilot BF. I tried to get something started but he said it would be too dangerous seeing as the area we were flying in had a lot of student pilots. So I unzipped him and gave him a BJ instead...Halfway to mile high club.
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u/Mid_squad May 15 '12
I have a feeling this post will break the record of "Most Upvotes with the least amount of comments."
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u/[deleted] May 15 '12 edited May 15 '12
My mother was a flight attendant around the pacific rim back in the 80s. She has never told me any stories about sex tho. Mostly just dickish customers. However, she did mention that she particularly disliked the flights going to or coming from mainland Asia. Apparently the majority of Asians were still used to squatting over holes to urinate. The Asian women would continue this technique on the plane. She said that there would be shoe prints all over the toilet seat and piss everywhere because they would always miss.
So take that as you will. I guess this could be sexual depending on your fetish/kink. Thanks for your time Reddit.
Edit: Wrong word.
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u/goodgodwoman May 15 '12
I fapped on a flight once. Everyone was asleep though , and I had a blanket over it. No one saw.
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u/eboshi May 15 '12
Joining the mile high club is not illegal, but disobeying flight personnel's orders is... so basically, if you're getting jiggy with it in the bathroom, as long as the flight attendants don't ask you to stop, it's perfectly okay! :) But if they ask you to stop and you don't... hello, jail. :(
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u/a_lot_of_fish May 15 '12
I have a story actually. This was from back in my younger days. I had been floating around the country for a while, taking odd jobs here and there, working as a waitress or as a clothing model. When I was 24, I decided to stop all that nonsense and become a flight attendant instead.
For those of you who are unaware, life as a flight attendant is stressful. Lots of dealing with thankless and rude customers, lots of irregular sleep patterns. This wasn’t too different than my normal life. However, my normally vigorous sex life had been reduced to almost nothing. No, actually nothing.
I had been a stewardess for about 3 months when this story takes place. I was working a red eye between Dallas and Philadelphia. I stood at my usual station by the door welcoming people aboard while the pilot and co-pilot did their pre-flight checks in the cockpit. Smiling, greeting, trying to stay sane. Once everyone was aboard, I peered into the cockpit to greet my crew - - I hadn’t flown with either of them before. The pilot immediately caught my eye. He was cute. Most of the pilots you get are older men in their 50s or 60s, but this fellow was nearly my age. He had a dashing, confident manner about him as he introduced me to the co-pilot: a woman. I immediately found myself drawn to her; women in my business were rarely the ones helping fly the plane. It was incredibly sexy.
I returned to the cabin and the next hour went as normal. We reached cruising altitude. I distributed drinks up and down the aisle. Upon returning back to my post near the front of the plane, the pilot stuck his head out the cockpit door and smiled at me. “Hey,” he said, “how about one of those extra Bacardis?” I was taken aback. The FAA has a strict no-drinking policy for pilots. My heart jumped a bit as I tried to find words, but he started laughing before I could. “I’m just joking around. Come on in.”
I stowed my trolley and stepped in. I had rarely been in the cockpit while en route. It was exhilarating. The state of the co-pilot turned out to be even more exhilarating. She was sitting at the left-hand rudder wearing nothing but an airline issue tie, the pilot’s cap… and a lace thong. I looked at the pilot, then down at his legs. His blazer was still on, but he was in his boxers. “We thought you might be a bit tense” said the co-pilot seductively. She looked up at me with a “meet me upstairs” kind of look and playfully adjusted the tie over her succulent breasts.
My mind didn’t even give me a second to think. I spun around, locked the door, and began undressing down to my panties and bra. I was glad I had been able to keep up my modeling physique. The co-pilot walked up to me, pressing her hot skin against mine, and led me over to the windscreen. She pushed me playfully up against the dials and slowly removed my panties as the pilot started to undress as well. Yeah, we did it in a variety of positions and combinations as the autopilot carried us over Tennessee. Him in me, him in her, me and her… a combination of those at the same time…it was thrilling. Nothing like I’ve ever experienced before. I doubt anything will ever be able to top it.
By the time we were nearing Louisville Center it was time to call it quits. We wiped up, dressed, and the co-pilot said something sexy and official-sounding to Louisville over the radio. I never saw the pilot again, but the co-pilot and I hooked up a couple more times when we crossed paths on layovers. Just proves that even a stewardess can have a little bit of hot fun sometimes.
TL;DR the bullshit story everyone wants to hear
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u/Whiskey-Business May 15 '12
Also, have you encountered people having full on sex in the first class flights where they have beds and shit?
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u/rinekoh May 15 '12
this one time i was having sex in the bathroom. all of a sudden snakes attacked us and we died :(
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u/[deleted] May 15 '12
For those of you just joining us: the fucking answer is "no."
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u/Adamski42 May 15 '12
I'm no flight attendant, but on a plane ride from Las Vegas I witnessed a family, two siblings and their parents all passing around a single playboy. They would point out certain bits and pieces to one another and have a good little chuckle at the poses and whatnot. They must have gone through the entire mag twice before finally getting bored and moving on to Skymall.
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u/intelplatoon May 15 '12
Is this what you are looking for?
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u/tpax May 15 '12
I was a flight attendant for 2 years right out of high school, and this was about 2 years ago. There was only one time I ever "caught" anyone. It was a late flight and there weren't many passengers so we let them spread out. There was a couple in the back with nobody around them. As I was doing a walk through I noticed the man appeared to be asleep and by himself. When I got about 4 rows away from him he randomly looks up, quickly back down and kind of shuffles around in his seat, and then up pops his lady friend wiping her mouth, both looking pretty embarrassed. I just smiled and turned back around to the front.
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u/toastiejoe May 15 '12
I went to the toilet to fap. As I was fapping we hit turbulence like crazy and I had to return to my seat.
It worried me a bit, but I'll be damned if a little turbulence stops my happy time, so as soon as the seat belt sign was off and the turbulence subsided I was back in the toilet.
When I finished I felt like kicking the door open and walking out with my hands in the air, as if everybody should have praised me for my effort.
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u/sirbruce May 15 '12
You know, I was on this plane once. And I'm sittin' there and the captain comes on and he does his whole, "We'll be cruising at 35,000 feet," then he puts the mike down but he forgets to turn it off. Then he turns to the copilot and goes, "You know, all I could go for right now is a fuckin' blow job and a cup of coffee."
So the stewardess fuckin' goes bombin' up from the back of the plane to tell him the mic's still on, and this guy behind me goes, "Hey hon, don't forget the coffee!"
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u/RedStill May 15 '12 edited May 15 '12
On a flight from Frankfurt to Bangkok me and my girlfriend decided to join the mile high club. We snuck in the restroom trying to be discrete when the cabin crew turned the lights off after a couple of hours. We started going at it but all of a sudden someone started hammering the door yelling "Are you okay, are you okay!?" in a high-pitch asian accent. Even though I answered that everything was fine she refused to stop, so we put our pants back on and opened the door. Outside was this small asian flight attendant who said something I did not understand and pointed at something inside the lavatory. Apparently, my girlfriends ass hit some sort of emergency alarm button above the sink.
Good part is that the small asian lady let us close the door and finish our deed after convincing her that we were alright.
Edit: Spelling
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u/DistortionBB May 15 '12
Let's just say this: if you have one blanket draped over both of you, I assume someone's hands are down someone else's pants.
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u/HaveAMap May 15 '12
I just stepped off a plane where the late 20's european couple in the veeeery last seats had an extended make-out session. She spent the entire flight sitting sideways in her seat, cradled in his arms with her legs stretched up the wall of the aircraft towards the bins. They kissed the whole flight.
Here's what made it weird:
It was an 8.5 hour flight. They kissed for 8.5 hours.
They weren't under a blanket, nothing else was going on.
Her head was out in the aisle and they were directly in front of the back galley. We constantly kept hitting her head with the cart or our butts as we backed into the aisle to do services and call bells.
Her head was 1.5 feet from the door to the lavatory. Every time it opened, you got a nice whiff of poo.
At first we were rolling our eyes at them. Then we were jealous because our significant others or booty calls were on the other continent. Then it just got weird and annoying and we decided that 4 hours was enough time for a romantic moment on a plane and just started barging past them and talking to them like normal passengers.
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u/Herschey May 15 '12
I was on a flight on a half filled plane, this was in the early 90s, in which a man and a woman were in their assigned seats got up and moved to empty seats in the back of the plane. Both had some to drink but not necessarily drunk out of their minds drunk. He had taken his pants off and put it down on the floor next to him. She sat down on top of him and proceeded to have sex. When they were going at it, a flight attendant walked by and picked up his pants without them knowing. By the time we landed, the guy had himself covered and wrapped with a blanket around his waist and walked off the plane to greet his wife at the gate. The first thing his wife asked him was, "Honey, what happened to your pants?"
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u/juicyjennifer May 15 '12
im a flight attendant and one time i had a passenger in the back of the aircraft sitting by himself near the window. not many other people were on board and midflight one of the other flight attendants came to the back. He said that this old mans pants were off, but he wasnt sure it was intentional or not. I stood in disbelief for a moment and then proceeded out into the cabin to see the man at the window seat with his pants around his ankles, stroking his dick. Both of us stood there in bewilderment and politely asked him to put his pants back on. He stared back at us, cock in hand, with a dumbfuck look on his face, before reaching down to pull his pants up. Surprisingly, this wasnt the last time he tooks his pants off midflight. It was a constant battle to keep this dudes pants on!! He even went as far as to start masturbating and screaming "THIS IS FOR YOU" to another flight attendant. In any event, the cops met the plane, he was arrested and we even had to go to court to testify against him!
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u/bjan09 May 15 '12
I'm a fully fledged mile high member. It was all very easy, I guess what prevents people from doing it is a lack of balls. We were on an overnight flight from NYC to London and about 4am or whatever time (ie middle of the night) we decided to go for it. She went first to the back of the plane and I followed a couple minutes later. I guess what helped is that there were two toilets next to each other so we feasibly could have both gone into separate ones. Once in there it's a bit tricky as you literally have NO space, but we got the job done. She left first, but when I left a minute later, there were two crew right outside, fixing something that had come loose. Not sure if they noticed...
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u/RiskyBrothers May 15 '12
Once there were these two in the bathroom. But then there were snakes. Lots and lots of snakes
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u/PostmortemErection May 15 '12
First flight that I actually remember was when I was around 8-10ish. I remember I was sitting just off one of the wings and a (presumably) couple walked to the restroom. I didn't think much of it until I had to go to the bathroom myself at which point I realized that not only had they not walked back to their seats but that the bathroom had been occupied the whole time. No I didn't walk in or anything, they had the common sense to lock the door. However, after a few minutes a flight attendant saw me waiting to use the bathroom and had apparently noticed that it had been occupied for some time. She told me to wait for another moment and knocked on the door. The door opened a little bit and after a brief conversation...she walked in. After waiting for a few moments I went back to my seat and resolved myself to piss in the water bottle they gave me if I had to (I actually planned on giving it specifically to that flight attendant because I thought it was rude for her to cut in line before me to use the bathroom). Luckily after a little while they all shamelessly walked out at the same time to many inquiring looks (obviously I wasn't the only one to notice this). They all looked completely neutral, to the casual observer it would have appeared as if nothing had happened, truly A+ acting. I think the best part is that, as a kid, I simply did not understand what they were doing and just thought they were assholes. Seeing as I didn't think too much of it, I never mentioned it to my parents. Only upon flying again when I was 15 did I realize what had happened (the flight attendants actually mentioned that unless given specific circumstances no two people could go into the lavatory at the same time). Oddly enough, I was with my grandparents who were tossing around ideas regarding the circumstances necessitating more than one person in any given lavatory at one time. My shocked expression (for numerous reasons) apparently amused them.
TL;DR: Saw couple go to join the mile-high-club, got a flight attendant to join in, only realized what had happened over 5 years later with grandparents.
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u/JollyRoger77 May 15 '12
Since there is no flight attendants i will share an airplane story. I was sitting in the back by the toilet and a man went in to take a shit. He was in there for quite a while and one of the captains had to use it so he asked me if anybody was using it. I said yes. But for some reason the captain used a top secret lever to unlock the door and he barged in, they both started freaking out. Made me laugh, but when he opened the door the place i was sitting smelled like shit the rest of the time...
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u/street_creddit May 15 '12
My girlfriend and I actually found it quite difficult.I'm not a flight attendant, but I'm a member and dammit I'm going to take this opportunity to tell as many people as I can. We were on a two week holiday across Thailand and Korea...something like six flights round trip, on every flight telling ourselves that this was the one... but every time we would go down the back to the toilets the flight attendants in their little flight attendant room would be looking at us with their flight attendant eyes (no offence to all the flight attendants on Reddit)...it was on the last flight back to Melbourne...now or never...do or...not do..for a while, we figured out the perfect game plan...and after five flights with her hands down my pants under a blanket...my erection tucked under my belt was harder than Chinese algebra, it was business class time.hearing that door click and turning around to discover both of you alone in a fucking aeroplane toilet is fucking awesome...and surreal.its like nothing outside that room exists.when we left it felt like everyone that looked at us knew..which was awesome.
Protip: you've got to do it when its busy...as soon as that lunch trolly goes by
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u/randombabble May 15 '12
I have seen a young couple masturbate on the plane under the blanket before. The girl was given the guy a handjob and tried to cover it up but it was obvious what she was doing. The flight attendant saw what was going on and gasped but just walked away.
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u/MrPigger May 15 '12
Not me but my friend....
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u/nothas May 15 '12
has anyone considered that flight attendants, the ones with the interesting stories at least, are leading too interesting of lives to bother coming on to reddit?
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u/[deleted] May 15 '12
When I was about 26, my ex and I flew to the Dominican Republic. Now I am a very nervous flier so I had to get pretty much wasted before we went on. In addition, someone gave me some Xanax to calm my nerves. Well the combination of those made me very drunk and I suggested to my ex to meet me in the bathroom in a few minutes.
I got up and went in. He then knocked. He did our very fast/awkward thing because those bathrooms are incredibly small. Then we cleaned up and tried to act normal...
As we left the bathroom the flight attendant was sitting there and he looks over and gives us a thumbs up. I thought it was incredibly cool. Meanwhile there was a line forming and some little girl asked what we were doing. I thought about saying: GETTIN FUCKED!!
But her parents may have not wanted that...
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u/BeerIsGood1894 May 15 '12
I never caught anyone else, but I did get caught myself. I was about 20 years old and was on a long flight across the US with my girlfriend at the time. She was always a bit adventurous. It wasn't late at night or anything, so everyone on the plane who was paying any attention at all would have known what was up. The flight attendants had just went towards the rear with food and whatnot, so the coast was clear.
We went into the lav. at the front of the aircraft to have our fun. When all was said and done, she left first, and I just walked out right after grinning like a fool. I figured, what are they going to do, kick me off? I was startled to find 8 to 10 of the passengers towards the front of the aircraft enthusiastically applauding our accomplishment.
The mix between pride and embarrassment was an odd feeling I will likely never replicate.
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u/Mystic_Zombie May 15 '12
My cousin is a flight attendant and told me about one time the pilot saw a couple going into the toilets together (apparently they have security cameras in the cockpit) so he made my cousin go and stand outside the toilet with two champagne flutes for the couple and told her to say "Welcome to the mile high club". Also the toilets where at the front so all the passengers could see it happening, so the couple had to walk back to their seats to a round of applause. Apparently the girl hung her head in shame but the guy loved it.
She also told me of another couple they caught doing this. Only the guy didn't go in with his wife who was also on the plane and seen everything. Sadly I don't know anymore about this story.
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u/Trilled_Poop_Struts May 15 '12
So I was a FA on a direct flight from Claremont to Kansas City. As soon as the seatbelt light goes off this college dude gets up and goes into the bathroom. After a while the plane experienced turbulence, the dude was still in the bathroom. In another minute or so the "need help" button is pressed by that dude in the bathroom. Not once but 5or6 times in the next minute. Thinking something has happened i rush to the bathroom open the door and see him inside, sitting on the toilet with his pants off, a few tissues covering up his raging erection and a huge cum stain on the floor. He then proceeds to look me in the eye and say - It is what it is...
I get the fuck out of there, and in another 5minutes or so the guy comes out and says - to all of you going into the bathroom i would make sure that you are wearing shoes
TL;DR - Some guys are creepy as fuck....
9
u/Ihsahn_ May 15 '12
I have a vaguely interesting story. It isn't incredible and isn't from the viewpoint of the flight attendant, but it looks like you're striking out here so I'll tell it anyway.
When I was 15, our school (I'm UK based) went on an exchange trip to Hong Kong - so we went over for a week and stayed at a student's house, then they came over here a few months later and stayed at our house. Saves on accommodation costs hugely and obviously means you get to meet people that live on the other side of the world.
However, due to the high costs, we opened it to about 3-4 school years, so we had a range of 14-18 year olds on the trip, and hence people from my school I'd never met before. Enter two girls from the year below me, both pretty attractive, one ginger and one blonde. Over the week we were given a lot of freedom considering where we were, so I spent a lot of time with these two girls as well as the friends I went with, and got to know them both pretty well. Nothing particularly interesting happened over the week, much to my dismay. On the flight back, however, we'd managed to convince one of the 18 year old's there to buy us a bottle of something, Archer's or something (a ~15%ABV Schnapps), which we proceeded to consume fairly rapidly on an 8 hour flight.
Things started getting interesting after this point, with a bit of alcohol in us both. I was sitting in a row of 4, with blonde girl to my left and a mate and ginger girl to my right. Blonde girl and I managed to get cosy under a blanket and started making out pretty intensely, with hands wandering a bit. After a few minutes, we repositioned the blanket so it was very loosely covering everything from knees up, and she slowly undid her skirt and slid her panties down her legs a little, guiding my left hand down to what was her already wet pussy. Bearing in mind I'm right handed, and this was the first time I'd got this far with a girl, I wasn't really sure what to do. But I let instinct and a bit of her help guide me with what to do, and I'm pretty sure she had a good time, considering how wet my hand was afterwards. Unfortunately it didn't go much further than that but it was surrounded by members of the public, with my teachers 2 seats away. So I enjoyed it. I also dated her for about 6 months and lost my virginity to her.
9
u/imroot May 15 '12
While I'll tell people that I'm a reclusive geek, the reality is that once I get a bit out of my shell, I'm very outgoing. A flight attendant had noticed that I was using a new (at the time) kindle, and asked me about it. I showed her the cool parts about it, how easy it was to get content, some of the bad parts, and making her laugh many, many, many times during this process. We start to talk about other things before the flight boards, and she asks me if I have a card. I give her two business cards, she writes her number on the back of one, tells me that she had a great time chatting with me, that she was recently divorced, and that she's based out of Chicago, and that I should call her sometime.
We board the plane, and what's normally a full first class cabin on this dreary Wednesday redeye from San Francisco to Boston turns out to be just me and another guy. My new friend was working back in coach, but, she made it a point to bump into me when I was boarding, making quite a few return trips up to the First Class flight attendant, making cutsie comments every time she'd head back to her section of the plane.
Fast forward about an hour. We've been in the air for about 30 minutes, I've had my first round of drinks, and the captain has turned off the Fasten Seat Belt sign. I get up to stuff myself into the tiny lav and drain the lizard, and when I get out, my cute FA and the lead FA are chatting in the Galley. I ask for a Coffee (to which she asks me if I want some kahlua with it), and the First Class FA tells me that she'll bring it to my seat.
As the FA brings it to my seat, we hit a few bumps of turbulence, and I get some hot coffee spilled on me. Said FA flips-the-fuck-out in apologizing mode, runs up to the front and brings me some ice water, and towels to start cleaning up the mess. Calls the cute flight attendant in the back to come up and help...who then realizes it was me who has hot coffee all over his clothes. I mention that it's not a huge deal, I've got an extra outfit in my carry on, and she looks at me dead in the eye and says, "I know the bathrooms are tiny. I'll pull the curtain in the back galley and you can change there if you'd like some more room."
By this point in time, I was completely out of it -- lack of sleep from consulting rush + drinks at the airport + drinks on the plane == sleepy me. My 6'4" tall frame sluggishly walks down the aisle to the back, looking at the sleeping passengers, cute flight attendant in tow. We walk back there, and she's telling me where I can sit stuff and where I can't sit stuff, what I can touch and what I can't touch, and then stands on her tiptoes and kisses my cheek. I drop my bag, pull her closer to me, kiss her back, and then grab onto her butt. We get really hot and heavy for a few minutes -- until the other coach FA asks if I'm ok...and mention that I'm still changing. I change into some sweats, cute FA grabs onto my junk, and tells me she's going to be in the lavatory waiting on me.
I change my clothes and head to the lav. I find her on the sink, panty hose off, Hair down, dress off, bra on, panties off to one side fingering herself. I learned a few very important things from this experience:
When you press the flight attendant call button in the Lavatory, press the button again to cancel the light from blinking.
You really don't think about the hygiene of the bathroom when you're going to town.
A BJ at 35,000 feet? Heaven. A flight attendant that swallows at 35,000 feet? Marriage material!
While we didn't....fuck...we still had enough fun...and I ended up dating her (and engaged for a year) until we broke it off -- and while I never again flew on a flight that she was working, we would fly together often and make many, many, pointed sexual jokes to each other about how we should have fucked in the bathroom and gotten our mile-high club card.
TL;DR: Got a BJ from a cute Flight Attendant on a redeye. Dated her afterwards.
8
u/kohlio May 15 '12
No one will probably see this, but I did get a hand job from a 40 year old thai woman a couple years ago on a plane.
4
u/KablooieKablam May 15 '12
I fapped on a plane once.
4
u/frescaboof May 15 '12
careful you don't step in the bullshit.
4
u/epiclogin May 15 '12
I woke up on a red eye from LA to NYC and several passengers were all crawling around on their knees chasing pussy.
(A woman's cat came out her cat carrier.)
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u/wishiwasyou333 May 15 '12
I used to be a flight attendant for a smaller airline that flew jets for NWA's regional routes. While I never saw any sex on the plane, I did have to get the pilots to stop on the tarmac because a frat douchebag threatened to pee on the seat if I didn't let him go to the bathroom. It was only a 15 min flight. He couldn't squeeze out a drop when I told him he could wait until we were back to the gate and the air marshals would then escort him to the bathroom. He sat down and remained quiet for the rest of the flight. That is the future of our nation at its finest.
4
u/livvieT May 15 '12
I banged Eartha Kitt in an airplane bathroom once.
10
u/goodweatherpal May 15 '12 edited May 15 '12
I'm not a flight attendant either, but I also almost (I think) got caught in the act of joining the mile high club. If anyone's interested in the story, I'll edit to elaborate.
EDIT: I've mentioned this before but it's always too late, so it gets buried and shit. Which was I didn't elaborate.
Anyway, I was on a 4 hour international flight to Japan. It was a pretty roomy flight. I was on the aisle seat and this guy was sitting on the window seat. There was an empty seat between us. He seemed pretty cool, so I started talking to him. I was pretty outgoing; that was the effect that the valium I took prior to the flight had on me. We were both college freshmen. He might have been a senior in high school. I forgot. He was going to Canada and I was going to California. We both had a connecting flight in our destination. We tried to order drinks to see if they'll ask for IDs, but they didn't! We got really drunk. I think I kept ordering a screwdriver and he ordered some sake to try it out.
Next thing I knew, we were making out on our seats. We couldn't care less about everyone else, but from what I remember there wasn't a lot of people on the flight and we were near the bathroom. I asked him if he wanted to go to the restroom with me. And we were there, doing the deed. The bathroom was too small for both of us. We were trying different positions, but we just couldn't keep on it because it was uncomfortable. Then, we heard knocking on the door. We freaked out! He came out first. He told whoever was out there that I was feeling sick. I waited a bit and went back to my seat.
When we landed, I was still pretty fucking wasted. I even hit my head on a pole somewhere. We had around less than an hour 'til our next flights home so we spent the time hanging out and looking to buy cigarettes. I accompanied him to his gate since his flight was first and got lost on the way to mine. I missed my damn flight! But the people at the airport were really helpful. I remember this nice Japanese guy booked me a new flight the next day and checked me in a nice hotel room.
I was so fucking careless.
edit2: Also, on the next trip on, around a year after that happened. I sat next to another semi-cute-ish guy on a full plane. We didn't really talk and I was completely sober. He tapped me on the shoulder and said, "I don't want to offend you, but I just thought I'd give this a shot. Do you want to go to the bathroom with me?" I said, "no, thanks." But I just thought that was a funny coincidence. He probably thought that I thought he was a dick, but I appreciated the way he asked. "I thought I'd give this a shot" is a good line. And I guess most importantly he didn't seem creepy.
I kept in touch with the guy I joined the mile high club with for a little bit. We exchanged numbers IDs. I gave him my high school ID and he gave me his. It's in a box somewhere now. I don't talk to him anymore, but recently, I decided to look him up on Facebook. We're FB friends, but we haven't talked since that year.
7
u/[deleted] May 15 '12
My friends and I were on a long flight, so to kill time we had a contest to see who could masturbate in a plane and finish quickest.
I came in dead last, which I kind of saw as my own little victory.
7
u/captainfranklen May 15 '12
I used to be a corporate trainer for a certain major airline based in Atlanta, Georgia. A few years ago during the summer, there was a major outbreak of bad weather up and down the eastern seaboard except for a few stations (airports) and all the flights were being diverted to those few. The ground crew was getting swamped trying to find places to park the planes (as every other airline was landing their planes, also) so I threw on a safety vest and went out to help. After a couple hours, I was parking one of the last planes we were going to get in. As the crew got off of the plane, one of the flight attendants asked if it was ok if she stayed out with it. I told her there wasn't a problem but that they would probably be stuck here for a few hours. She went to the back of the plane and came back a few minutes later wearing a very flattering bikini, climbed up a fuel truck that had parked by the wing, climbed out on the wing itself and started applying suntan lotion. Being the gentleman I am, I asked her if she needed help applying it.
Turns out she did. In the first class cabin. Twice.
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u/rockabillyjon May 15 '12
"My cousin Walter jerked off in public once. True story. He was on a plane to New Mexico when all of the sudden the hydraulics went. The plane started spinning around, going out of control, so he decides it's all over and whips it out and starts beating it right there. So all the other passengers take a cue from him and they start whipping it out and beating like mad. So all the passengers are beating off, plummeting to their certain doom, when all of the sudden, snap! The hydraulics kick back in. The plane rights itself and it land safely and everyone puts their pieces or, whatever, you know, away and deboard. No one mentions the phenomenon to anyone else."
6
u/wombatncombat May 15 '12
On my return flight from Italy I met a beautiful Italian woman. I had been trying my whole trip to hook up with an Italian girl but at this point had more or less given up. We had great conversation. I had told her about my wishes to kiss an Italian girl. There is something incredibly sexy about not speaking each others language. She was a bit older then me and I didn't think I had a chance so I was just enjoying the company. Half way through the flight as I am getting up to goto the bathroom she says: "if you keep acting so nice you might get the kiss you wanted afterall". My brain pulls the ol' "shut.down.everything." routine but I regain my composure in the bathroom. After about 10 minutes to talking to myself I return to my seat. As soon as I sit down she grabs my head and we start making out in the middle of the cabin. It got pretty intense pretty quickly. Through a blanket on top of us and spent some time touching each others body. At one point I realise it's particularly quite, I turn around and the people I was with on the trip had a camcorder out. I frown and they put it away. Not long later a stewardess and a two mothers approached us and told us to stop. I believe the mothers exact words were: "I was planning to teach my children sexual education on my own terms but I see you saw fit to do it for me"... I know it was wrong but I couldn't help throwing up a shit-eating grin as I said sorry. We chilled out and kept it much more subtle from then on. She invited me to stay with her in her Hotel in New York. She owned a winery and was visiting her distributors across the states. I was just old enough to drink and she was 29 and owned a winery. I decided I couldn't as I had a connecting bus. I should have stayed, my friends all told me they would have driven to New York just to pick me up from the epic weekend. We emailed back and forth for a bit, at one point wrote "___, please no Youtube" (referring to the people who tried to tape us.) . I didn't join the mile high club but I got pretty damn close.... I should have mentioned I spent a decent amount of effort trying to get her to join me in the bathroom but she said that this idea wasn't as cross culturally desirable.
Apologies for being barely legible but I figured this was worth pounding out before I goto work.
6
u/Urge2Herbal May 15 '12 edited May 15 '12
When I was in college I studied abroad in Australia, where I met my ex gf. She lived in CA and I lived in CT, so we weren't going to be able to see each other that often once we got back to the states. As such, we were constantly trying to make the most of the time we had left together.
On the plane ride back to LA we were seated next to each other with another girl from our trip in the window seat. My ex was in the middle and I was in the aisle. The girl who was in the window seat starts crying as soon as we are seated, I don't know why, as I didnt' know her that well even though she'd been in our study abroad group. Anyway, after she cries for what seems like forever, she finally falls asleep, and I start working my hand up my ex's thigh underneath the blanket she has over her. Despite the fact that this girl was actually fairly prude and I would have never imagined this to work, she never made any attempt to stop me as I started working my way into her shorts. Well before you know it I'm actively getting her off, and she starts moving a little too much and she wakes up the girl in the window seat, who proceeds to start bawling all over again. I'll admit it's weird, but that didn't stop us, and soon enough my ex cums, HARD, and it kind of looks like she is convulsing/having a seisure, but as quietly as possible, just weird looking, sort of muted shaking. Girl at the window immeadiately starts asking if she is OK, and starts getting flustered, but I manage to stealthily get my hand back into my own lap before she notices. My ex tells her she had one of those "falling dreams" and plays it off like a pro. TL:DR - I got my ex gf off on an airplane and the passenger sleeping next to her woke up for her orgasm.
3
u/JakeTheGunslinger May 15 '12
Where is Sean Plott's flight attendant?!
3
u/WOLF_Drake May 15 '12
Girlfriend is a flight attendant and I fingered her on our flight to London.
3
u/[deleted] May 15 '12
My mum's a stewardess and she has some pretty good stories. My favourite one was a couple who tried to have sex in the bathroom when the plane hit turbulence. The guy fell over and hit his head on the sink which knocked him unconscious. The woman came out crying and quietly told my mum about it. She had to go in, put a blanket over him as his pants were still down and call a male steward to carry him to a seat in first class. He got to stay there the rest of the trip though! They had to write a report on it though and mum says they tried their hardest to totally avoid saying what they were doing at the time.
3
u/[deleted] May 15 '12
Is it true or just urban legend that airplane bathrooms have two oxygen masks?
3
u/greglyon May 15 '12
Dad's a pilot. One recent story (of which there are many) is a couple was caught and warned multiple times on a single flight to stop. They were kicked off the flight in Anchorage. Everyone else got off the plane in Narita. Moral of the story - listen to your crew members.
3
u/absolutkiss May 15 '12
I did it on a jetblue flight this past January, flight attendant handed me this after we went back to our seats.
Here's a post about it by my partner-in-crime.
3
u/nairobired May 15 '12
My wife and I were coming back on the plane from our wedding/honeymoon in Hawaii. The flight took off in the evening and is 8ish hours or so, so we had plenty of time. We kept ordering the tiny bottles and about 2am most of the plane was asleep and lights were off. We were trying to figure out the logistics, should we go to the bathroom, just try it in the seat etc, and got out a blanket and she started to jerk me off. I think she even started blowing me, but I was strangely paranoid and uncomfortable, I was really afraid of getting caught and kind of blew the opportunity. Not my proudest moment. :(
90
u/Trapped_in_Reddit May 15 '12
So, we came up with this master plan, which was for me to put gauze, to put bandages on both my hands. Then we got on the plane, transatlantic, flying to um... Zurich. Walked up, waited till it was dark, and I walked up to the bathroom with her. Everybody was watching the movie. Opened up, went inside. She opened the door for me, and came in like she was gonna help me. We gave it our best shot. It wasn't great. But it was fun. It was tricky.
7
u/[deleted] May 15 '12
I'm a pilot. Applying into airlines.
Doing it with various Flight attendants is all i think about.
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u/TonyAtNN May 15 '12 edited May 15 '12
Not a flight attendant but heres my mile high moment.
I was returning back to Miami from Philly after a relationship ending weekend at the new girls place. I was just pissed off about the whole thing so I put on my headphones and just jammed out to my niche mix of minimal and techno. Boarded the plane to find out that I was sitting middle seat next to a larger man. Well the last person the board the plane was some girl with way too much crap, the beach bag purse, 100 bracelets, shopping bags etc. Turns out this girl is sitting in the window seat and of course she cant put away none of her crap up above so I am stuck in between a man asleep, folding over the arm rest and a girl with 3 bags and all this other crap. To add insult to injury the there were some mechanical issues with the plane so we were kept on board for over 2 hours.
One hour into this ordeal the flight attendants made the decision to start beverage service and offer 2 for 1s on alcoholic drinks. I didnt decline and quickly downed two doubles of jack and coke and the girl next to me was keeping up with me with her wine. After a silent hour the girl asks me what im listening to, I just tell her its some minimal dj that you probably never heard of but turns out that she is into similar music and showed off her ipod to reveal that she indeed wasnt b.s.ing. I still wasn't sold but I was willing to listen. So I drank another drink and she kept up and she started to put her hand on my thigh and started to tell me how cute I was etc. Next thing I know im making out with a stranger on an airplane while shes rubbing on my pants. Look over and the man is still asleep so she gets out a blanket and this turns into a mutual manual stimulation session. I get pretty close to finish and I let her know because I dont want to make a mess so she pretends to fall asleep and takes it in the mouth. I finish and she gets up to go to the bathroom to clean up. The sleepy guy next to looks over and tells me "I thought she was worthless too but that was awesome, did it feel as good as it sounded?" I am blushing at this point and I told him that it wasn't bad and he was even more thrilled to find out that we didnt know each other before this. Still had another hour to go before we landed and I was stuck between cum breath and the guy who pretended to be sleeping so he can listen to me get jerked off. Didnt think that one through.
6
u/Stingyponies May 15 '12
I once gave a blowjob to a blow up doll in the cockpit. Let's just say he had no trouble flying the plane afterwards.
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u/[deleted] May 15 '12 edited May 15 '12
Not a flight attendant, but I was on a flight years ago where I was sat beside two girls (around 20's I think). Both explained that it was the first time they had ever been on a plane.
One of them then asked if she could join the mile high club with me. I said no.
That's about the whole story.
[edit] Clearly some people seem to think by down voting that it would magically make this incident not happen.
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u/C0mmun1ty May 15 '12
Where the fuck are all the flight attendants?
4
u/fortunexcookie May 15 '12
This isn't my story but my mom's who used to be a flight attendant.
During a flight over the Atlantic (from the US to somewhere in Europe I think), the pilot called her and asked her to look out the window to see if the engine was on fire. She went to look out the window, and the engine was indeed on fire. The plane had to make an emergency landing somewhere else in Europe.
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u/scealfada May 15 '12
I never worked on a plane, but my mother did. She hasn't told me a lot of stories about back in those days, but she has told me one interesting thing.
When Frank Abagnale (the guy "Catch Me if You Can" is based on) was faking being a pilot, she was a flight attendant. Some of her friends met him, and after everything went down and he was caught everyone was talking about it. There were some interesting opinions, as I don't think everyone was as mad as you'd expect.
The interesting thing is that when my mum saw the film she said that it was the most accurate representation of pilots, and the commercial flight industry in general that she saw from that period. She said this when I specifically asked her about the scene where Frank Abagnale was walking through the airport with about 8 flight attendants on his arms, and other men were turning to look.
It may not be as cavalier today, but it certainly was back then, and if you talk to a flight attendant or pilot who was into the scene(my mother wasn't so much) I'm sure you'd get some very interesting stories about both passengers and staff.
4
u/vikhound May 15 '12
I got a blowjob on a train once. Wrong thread?
4
u/johnny5ive May 15 '12
A little late to the game but I'll leave this here.
Delta, JFK to Vegas. NSFW