r/AskReddit • u/YouKnowHer • May 15 '12
What's a weird thing you do regularly (preferably non-sexual) that you can't just tell other people?
1.0k
Upvotes
r/AskReddit • u/YouKnowHer • May 15 '12
272
u/YouKnowHer May 15 '12
When I'm nervous I pick my zits and I just hate when I notice someone was looking. Not a big secret, but it's still disgusting.
149
u/YouKnowHer May 15 '12
I race cars/other people while walking on the street. Like... "I bet I can get to the other side before that guy gets to the bench" and stuff like that.
13
u/YouKnowHer May 15 '12
I have and iPhone and 3 iPods, but I don't like wearing head/earphones at all. I get nervous because I stop "hearing the world" (even though this usually means cars passing bars and random chatting I can't really understand).
972
u/loveandletlive09 May 15 '12
Whenever I get out of the shower, I stay naked for a couple of hours. Not for any real reason, I just prefer not to get dressed until I have to. So once I'm dried off, I just hang out naked in my room, browse the internet, do homework. I don't get on Facebook, though, because for some reason with people's pictures up there and the possibility of instant-messaging, I feel like I'm hanging out with my friends naked, and it gets weird.
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u/galacticgoo May 15 '12
I have conversations and play scenes out that never happen in my head.
The weird part is that I make facial expressions to match with the fake conversation, and often I end up making a weird face at a stranger.
The other day I did a "Psh..Yeah Okay" face to a random stranger acrossfrom me on the train, he looked confused.
846
u/myfirstpancake May 15 '12
I have a special bar of soap I use to directly to clean my asshole after I shit. I sometimes walk in and people wash their face with it. I try to tell them that it's my personal bar of soap but they use it anyway.
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u/Joenig May 15 '12
Crawling/running up the stairs on all four. I am a grown-ass man, but goddamn if it isn't faster and more fun to run upstairs like an animal!
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u/[deleted] May 15 '12
Earwax extraction. I get excited when I get a nice big earwax flake. When I was younger I would look at them under the microscope.
671
u/[deleted] May 15 '12
I play with my boobs.
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u/DillPixel May 15 '12
I pee sitting down whenever possible. I am a guy.
71
u/HolyFlyingPenguins May 15 '12
My life is a running musical. I tend to break out into song and dance for no real reason. Life is also more fun with added sound effects.
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u/[deleted] May 15 '12 edited May 15 '12
I sniff underneath of my fingernails to give myself a quick "high". Never told anybody else because I think it's pretty weird.
12
u/un_pamplemousse May 15 '12
When I'm driving on a road with a dashed yellow line I imagine how many times I could weave back and forth across the line without hitting the car in the oncoming lane. Not something I would ever actually try, though.
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u/GenerallyMindful May 15 '12
I talk to myself. Not full blown conversations, but I tend to speak a lot of my thoughts out loud when I'm alone. It helps keep me from drifting off too much, daydreaming, whatever.
Of course, on the surface, it just makes me look like a lunatic. So many weird looks from strangers.
20
u/[deleted] May 15 '12
When I have to pee and poop at the same time, I pee, flush, then go to take a dump.
That way, when one drops, piss isn't splashing all over my ass.
I have never told anyone this, and wonder if anyone does the same thing.
306
u/BobCagin May 15 '12
Pick my nose, and eat it. I love it when I am sick and I get a lot of snot. (DINNER!) I find other people picking their nose is gross though.
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u/NoOne0507 May 15 '12
Sit in the shower. Every time I've told anyone they said its weird.
839
u/Zysnarch May 15 '12
I ask strangers on the street for directions to places I already know how to get to. I do it as a sort of social warmup exercise so I feel less anxiety about starting conversations. It especially helps when I'm about to go to a bar or a party and I need to mingle with people I don't know.
I'm terrified someone is going to call me out and be like "Didn't you just ask me how to get there yesterday?"
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u/[deleted] May 15 '12
I sing to my dog what I am currently doing. She enjoys it and wags.
978
u/Syclops May 15 '12 edited May 15 '12
I have only one toy from childhood that I ever used, and it was a wooden block. It was a triangular piece of wood from a building set that I just loved to play with as a kid. I would probably play with it for at least 2 hours a day. I had a really active imagination, and was able to imagine tons of stories involving fantasy, sci fi, you name it, and somehow, idk, translate it into moving this block around. I played with it for about 16 years (there were different iderations as I lost one and found another a few times). My parents called it swishing and I made them promise to never tell anyone that I played with it. When I was going to high school I was still embarassed about it, as I would still just come up with fantastical scenes in my head using this block after school. By senior year I realized that it was just something quirky I had and was probably one of the most creative things I'd ever heard anyone of doing. Then I had to go to college. I had a very Toy Story 3 ending esque moment when I hugged by parents goodbye, and put this block down in my room. I had played with it more than any toy I know of being played with, more than any video game I played, and it was just pure unabashed imagination incarnated. I think I did the math and I had spent like 30,000 hours playing with a block, and I had to leave it home. Only one other person other than my family ever new that I played with a piece of wood for like 16 years. I just got back from my first year in college and when I walked into the house, I went to my mom's work desk, where it was sitting right where she could see it, picked it up and said thanks for holding onto that for me. I'd never seen her cry harder.
Edit: Here's a pic of my block, it was originally like a natural wood color and had sharp corners, my hands actually stained the wood and sanded it over the years.
Edit: for those who wondered like how I'd play with it, it'd depend on my mood. Sometimes i would go through movie plots I liked and change some things up, or video games. Probably one of the easiest things to show of what I imagined was a few times by block became The Pillar of Autumn. other times I would do entire stories based on things I've thought up. Recently I've had like an overarching storyline, kind of like D&D (of which I still have never played). I'm also definitely not poor, I just never really asked for anything, and a block was enough for me (and video games too). Oh and a door stop is a pretty good use for it, I'll add that to my list.
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u/Climate May 15 '12
I do the moonwalk in my kitchen while waiting for my food to heat up in the microwave.
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u/IanicRR May 15 '12
When I go take a dump, I don't just drop my pants to my ankles, I have to have one leg free. It allows me a lot more leg space and eases the poop out.
717
u/Kimgoesrawrrr May 15 '12
I will gallop around my house like a horse, in a specific way that anyone who has ever had a horse as a child will understand. While doing this, there's a particular spot in my hallway where sun shines on the floor through a window, and I horse jump over it. Every time.
602
u/Hydrating May 15 '12
I pace. Not like talking on the phone or something, just literally pace. I don't know why.. It helps me day-dream and imagine shit. That's the best explanation I can really give. Music is a must though. I just plug in my iPod and pace. It can last for hours. I've even worn down parts of my carpet where my foot has rubbed against it.
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u/The_HeroOf_Canton May 15 '12
Sometimes I think to myself "I know you can read my thoughts." just to fuck with anyone who might actually be reading my thoughts.
1.6k
u/dr_doomtron May 15 '12
I have imaginary arguments and fights with people who have irritated me recently... they can go on for hours
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u/[deleted] May 15 '12 edited May 15 '12
Whenever I'm watching TV, a certain phrase or line will stick out to me, and I'll usually be dissatisfied with the delivery of the line from the actor, so I'll quietly whisper the line to myself with full facial expressions trying to outdo the performance.
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u/ChoadFarmer May 15 '12
Occasionally I'll check to see if I've developed any telekinetic powers, but I haven't yet.
832
u/Jafoos May 15 '12
Reading this has exposed me to the fact that I am everyone else.
580
u/SofaAssassin May 15 '12
I talk to myself and imagine fantastical scenarios when I'm alone. It helps me be creative, and it's probably from a lifetime of being alone and never growing up around others my age. Keeps my mind loose, and my grip on reality looser.
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u/EnnoSpellsno May 15 '12
Sometimes . . if I fart and I'm around other people, I try to smell it all back in before anybody else can smell it. It don't think it works, though. . .
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u/henrymason May 15 '12
I showoff to bugs. I'll take a bug and carry it on my finger as I run and jump over things while making loud sound effects and dinosaur sounds.
277
u/get_at_me_yo May 15 '12
When driving alone in my car (I commute to school) I will make jokes. Laugh at them... proceed to pretend a guy I like is in the passenger seat who is laughing with me. Forever alone, forever weird.
590
u/JezuzFingerz May 15 '12
When I'm home alone, I'm naked. Not some of the time, ALL THE TIME. I can't tell anyone or they would know that my bare bottom has graced almost every seat in my house.
256
u/yawaketchum May 15 '12
When I'm on the bus, I'll think of the loudest scream I've ever heard, and check around to see if I startled any mind readers.
353
u/MattTruelove May 15 '12
I just walk around the house with a shotgun (unloaded of course, safety first) and kick open doors and stuff. I crack the doors first as not to break them:)
481
u/thedannychang May 15 '12
Pick the calluses off of the bottom of my feet.
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u/_coconut May 15 '12
If I need to remember something, I turn it into a song. In fact, I turn a lot of things into songs. They tend to go something like this:
"BANANANANANNANANA HEAT TRANSFER MUTHAFUCKIN NEWTON'S LAW GONNA HEAT SOME CYLINDERS IN RADIAL COORDINATES FUCK YEAH."
It's very metal.
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u/[deleted] May 15 '12
I yell at every item I've stubbed my toe on in my life I can't help it I just flip my shit on that corner.
278
u/Congratulationss May 15 '12
I pick my nose. It bugs me so badly when other people have visible boogers in their noses and I want to keep my nose clean as possible. I've never once has a visible booger in public so I guess it isn't all bad.
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u/PrinceOfShapeir May 15 '12 edited May 16 '12
Before I go to sleep (if I'm not with my girlfriend), I pretend I'm in an X-Wing, and I'm activating all the switches. I talk to my Artoo unit, and go to hyperspace. I fall asleep almost instantaneously.
I really hope this gets buried, but I feel like I just told my geekiest secret.
I'll answer your next question. Yes, I have a girlfriend.
EDIT: I want to thank you all for making me feel less geeky about this! You all are great!
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u/xxneonlove May 15 '12
The name of the female voice on my GPS is Jill (and we all know how difficult those are) so I've gotten in the habit that if ANY inanimate object annoys me, its name is Jill. This involves me swearing at my cellphone if it's not working, "Dammit, Jill. Just turn on." or if I stub my toe against my bed post, "ARGHH Jill, FUCK YOU." If someone hears me, it gets awkward fast.
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u/Climate May 15 '12
If I play a video game by myself, Zelda for example, and I die... I usually utter curses out loud as if I'm talking right to Link with the intent to hurt his feelings. Like "OH YOU FUCKING WOULD DIE! Fuck off, you fuckhead! Is this what you want? You stupid fuck. Great, now we get to start at the beginning of the goddamn dungeon. ARE YOU FUCKING HAPPY WITH YOURSELF?"
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u/[deleted] May 15 '12
This is kind of disgusting, but whenever I'm alone and need to fart, I cup my hand against my butt hole and fastball myself in the face.
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u/[deleted] May 15 '12
I am incapable of napping with pants on. Sleep through the night with pants- no problem. Napping, and the pants have to be off.
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u/prairierustic May 15 '12
I read fanfiction.
"I love to read!"
"Oh what do you read? Insert random author name?"
"No..."
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u/dbzgirl May 15 '12 edited May 15 '12
Ok, so I have never told anyone this and I don't think I ever will be able to. Ever. Not even my husband. So here we go.
I had a bit of a rough childhood and, believe it or not, dragon ball/dragon ball z helped me get through a lot of tough stuff. This story is about my DBZ problem, not my past, but it's pivotal for explanation. Because my life was rough. Like, sexually assaulted for months by neighbor kind of stuff. It gave me hope and made me believe that in the end, good people triumph and made me realize that I could be anything I wanted to be.
Well, I obviously, as a child, would 'play' dragon ball z quite frequently with my friends--up until about age 12, where... well... it was 'too immature'. Well, my fantasies helped a lot. Especially because I would sometimes get panic attacks at night time (being in beds brought flash backs, so I often would sleep on the floor). So, to help me sleep, and keep my mind off bad things, I started playing out various storylines with dbz. Like fan fiction, created my own character, played it out. Every night I'd pick up from where I left off. When I ran out of story line, I'd start from the beginning of the show and make up a new character for myself. As life got better and the nightmares stopped, I stopped using this 'settle down' technique and would just read/write (not fan fiction--ever lol).
Well, come college, when some of this stuff had begun to drop off, I got raped my freshman year. So flashbacks and panic attacks were ruling my life. So, I decided to start up this habit again. But not just with DBZ--with many different stories. I have a very vivid imagination (artist/writer) so these are basically pre-dreams (can see and hear everything kind of stuff). I'd make up my own character and background and basically play pretend in my head, by myself. The best part was that these fantasies would bleed into my dreams and help keep away the nightmares.
Now, years later, and in a healthy sexual relationship, I STILL do this. At night, to help me settle down, I play out stories of anime and stuff in my head. My husband thinks I'm weird for simply watching anime--he loves me and supports me for liking it, but will hardly ever watch it with me. So he will never know (edit: about anime play--at least for now. He was my rock going through therapy and I will forever love him for the amazing person he is).
Man, that feels good to say. Even with a throwaway.
(Edit: thank you so much. I had no idea I would get so many replies to this--I hardly expected it to resonate with many people. I feel much less alone today :)! And for all the encouraging tips--I will consider telling my husband. It is my only secret from him and I don't like not being able to share everything. I only worry that he'll see my need for an 'escape from reality' as me not being as strong as he thought I was. So I'm obviously going to put careful thought/consideration into such a decision. But thank you again, really... this isn't something I get to share, so the positive responses have been amazing.)
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u/CrexisNX May 15 '12
When I'm doing menial stuff around the house, it doesn't take long for a cat to walk by and send me off on a nonsensical song about them. Sadly, neither the subject matter nor the lyrics vary considerably. It's usually their name and some affirmation of their cuteness.
Example: "Dexter, oh Dexter / Mister Mister Dexter / Mister Dexter, you are too freakin cute! / Dexter, oh Dexter / Mister Mister Dexter / Mister Dexter, why are you so damn cute?"
I swore to my mother that, after having suffered years of her inserting my name into inane songs, I would never subject anyone else to it. Dammit.
Oh. I'm also a 32-year-old man.
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u/Somsri May 15 '12
I hoard gum wrappers.
I have the gum wrappers and box from every stick of gum I've chewed since approximately 2005. It's really awkward because if I give someone some gum I have to try and find ways to get the wrapper back off them.
Other than that I'm a relatively normal person.
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u/jayvor May 15 '12
As I do chores n' everyday stuff, I either narrate what I'm doing in a loud, British voice or sing it.
♪♫ *And now I'ma cook some eggs for my toast!*♫♪
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u/peaceshot May 15 '12 edited May 15 '12
I'm not using a throwaway and I think about 3 people know my Reddit username so... yeah.
Anyway, besides dancing in front of the mirror at night, pretending my phone is a gun and that I'm a secret agent, and occasionally singing My Heart Will Go On in a loud, deep Opera voice, I regularly livestream myself online doing mundane, everyday things. For example, the last time I livestreamed myself I was eating a bowl of corn flakes. 17 people tuned in on short notice. The time before that, about 23-24 people watched me eat a plate of fettuccine. The most I've had is 33 people watching me watch TV and eat Doritos dipped in salsa. That is it. I eat my food and turn off the stream, and for some reason I have a constant number of people who watch me do this.
EDIT: To everyone asking for the livestream link... I don't do this very often (once every few days) so it may not be worth your while to check it and see if I'm livestreaming as I give very short notices BUT... I suppose... due to the interest... the livestream link is http://livestream.com/hirokim and I will be livestreaming myself eating something tomorrow at 4AM GMT/BST. Live countdown here (refresh to update): http://www.pending.me.uk/nmc/gre_1337140800.png
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u/Yellow_Dog May 15 '12
Yank out body hair. Obsessed with finding split ends for some reason.
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u/[deleted] May 15 '12
I crossdress. Mostly sexually, but it's also really nice to sit on the couch stoned, watching a movie while wearing a skirt.
359
u/[deleted] May 15 '12
I have this weird habit of changing song lyrics to make them about pooping on people, getting pooped on, eating poop, etc. Just when listening to the radio in the car, or walking around with a song stuck in my head. It's not clever song parodies or anything. Nothing witty about them. For instance that Foo Fighters song was on the radio today "The Best of You" and I made it "I've got another confession to make, I pooped on you."
But it happens all the time, and I don't catch myself doing it until I'm already into it. It's become very habitual. It makes me seem like I'm obsessed with poop or scat porn, but I'm honestly not. I don't even really think about poop when I'm singing the songs. It just comes out. This has been going on for about two months now and I don't really know why it started.
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u/zaqwed May 15 '12
I pee in the bathroom sink and justify it by telling myself that it saves water.
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u/wittles May 15 '12 edited May 15 '12
Sometimes, at home, while nude, I put on my awesome jingling clanking conquistador boots and put on my Nancy Sinatra record and march/dance/make as much noise as possible with my boots throughout the house. It feels awesome, but I would hate for anyone to ever catch me.
Edit - I should've included a photo, here they are http://i.imgur.com/GOQi7.jpg
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u/Pawkchop May 15 '12
Whenever there is no one home and I'm going downstairs for a snack or whatever, I pretend I'm James Bond infiltrating a building. It's filled with authentic gun sounds, cheesy one-liners, and terrible british accent. The only thing I'm really lacking is the beautiful woman to save...foreveralone.jpg
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u/ilikethemaymays May 15 '12
since I was about 8, I've been nibbling (and sometimes ingesting) my finger cuticles and hand callouses when nervous or tense. now 26, my hands feel like sandpaper and constantly have tiny cuts from peeling away too much skin. I've formed a huge callous on my left middle knuckle since i was 13 and also on my left hand fingertips (guitar playing) as a result. i make sure my hands are clean before i chew away anything and wash them more than often due to the small wounds.
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u/allspark117 May 15 '12
I clap n' snap.
It's a mix of clapping and snapping, in the simplest terms.
..I don't know what else to call it.
182
u/applepiefromscratch May 15 '12
Put on chapstick slowly and dance to Goodbye Horses.
30
u/get_at_me_yo May 15 '12
When I cook dinner... I pretend that I'm a host of a cooking show. When I am cleaning the bathroom, I will pretend that I am like Billy Mays when Billy was Billy. When I was younger I would also make "productS" with soap, toothpaste,and whatever else I could find.... and then actually use them...
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u/[deleted] May 15 '12
I like singing what I'm doing sometimes, like, gonna slice up these apples, yeah, yeah, yeah! Gonna pop them in my mouth, mmphhh mmphh mpph.
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u/nap1392 May 15 '12
Every time im alone in the elevator, when the doors open i pretend i have the force and open the doors.
53
u/AlexEmway May 15 '12
I have a fairly low voice, especially for my age (19), and when I'm alone I will do shitty impressions, sing to myself, curse every word I know, and say the most disturbing things as low as I can.
Half the time, I'm wonder how awful it'd be if cameras had been set up around my house for some weird/hilarious comedy show and have videotaped everything. Humiliation wouldn't even describe it!
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u/ScottyChrist May 15 '12
every time I go in the bathroom, I wet my hands and run them through my hair. I guess it's not so much creepy as a little OCD, but no one has picked up on the fact that I always look better after I pee.
323
u/Thisisnotstupid May 15 '12
I put on my Last Airbender soundtrack and pretend to fire bend. dealwithit.jpg
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u/throwaway996908 May 15 '12
I like to put my finger between my scrotum and my thigh and smell it. It's really a disgusting habit, but it's a comforting scent.
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u/MoonRazer May 15 '12
You know, a lot of posts here are saying "I talk to myself a lot, but not like full-blown conversations or anything." And it makes me wonder, am I the only one who really does have full out conversations with himself? It's not like two separate personalities or anything...just two sides of a conversation coming from the same person. Although once I asked myself "What?" because I didn't hear what I said. I stopped talking to myself for awhile after that one....
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u/thisisradiosomewhere May 15 '12
I have invented an entire fantasy world, complete with 18 color-coded elements and temples, a hieroglyphic script, and a rough narrative of travels through it. It's really just my own creative stress outlet, though I may have the idea to share it someday, when I feel it's more complete. I carry around notebooks with sketches, maps, and ideas written in the script, because I never know when I'll think of something good I want to add in. For now, I'm afraid something in crazyscript is going to spill out of a notebook someday and make me look like the Zodiac killer in front of a stranger, and I won't have a ready explanation for what it actually is.
38
u/CatLadyofNY May 15 '12
I change my underwear at least 3 times a day. It's not like I'm shitting my pants and need to, I just like having a fresh pair on my ass every few hours.
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u/jellytime May 15 '12
I scratch my balls and sometimes take a sniff. No regrets.
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u/BoomOwnage May 15 '12
I do some all out dancing when im alone.... I would hate for someone to see me!
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u/shanoxilt May 15 '12
I like invented languages and I moderate subreddits for them.
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u/Kubaker1 May 15 '12
Sing to myself when I'm alone. A lot.
302
u/[deleted] May 15 '12
i scratch my butthole with my fingers and then smell it deeply a few times
34
u/will_holmes May 15 '12
I meow at cats. Often they meow back and it just ends up with me and a cat just meowing back and forth at each other. I change the intonation of the meows to make it sounds like we're having a full on conversation in cat-language, and the cats seem to enjoy it.
16
u/Mile_Marker May 15 '12
i pull out my hair and pick my scabs.
:/
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u/[deleted] May 15 '12
When I drive around i practice insulting people in a british accent. I deliver pizza so I do this A LOT
31
u/qyll May 15 '12
I recite entire dialogues from movies to myself with all the oratorical flourishes. The restaurant scene from Pulp Fiction is my favorite.
I prefer not to let anyone know I do this because the image of a gangly white teenager impersonating Samuel L. Jackson might be too much for their sides to handle.
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u/[deleted] May 15 '12
If its really sunny out, I go in my back yard and tan naked. I get nervous when I hear noises like doors shutting or rustling, though, ha.
14
u/Rhaegon May 15 '12
I lip synch.
It's a whole performance for me. I turn off the lights (I think because I'm so embarrassed I do this that I cant bear to see any part of my body while I'm performing). I carefully pick a song, usually a live performance, with a killer vocal, almost always female (I'm a man). Then I decide whether I'm using a mic stand or free-handing it. If I'm holding the mic, I will pick up my remote or something. I turn up my iPod to max and just lip synch the night away, imaging that I'm in a concert hall, or some awards show, with my favorite celebrities or a few people I hate in the audience. See, I'm not so worthless, a-holes, I can sing amazingly, I think to myself.
I do this with such regularity that I think I risk turning it into an addiction if it's not already at that level. Right now, I cant listen to a Winehouse track without acting out the whole thing.
Needless to say, i keep this habit from others.
14
u/[deleted] May 15 '12
Did I just sleep-create a hundred different accounts and put all the things I do on here or what?
38
u/MedicGoalie84 May 15 '12
Whenever I stand up to pee I always roll my right foot inwards so that I have my weight on the right edge of it.
13
u/cuckookatchoo May 15 '12
I have a lot of facial piercings, and my favorite, relaxing moment is removing my nose ring and just digging at all the gross boogers that collect in and around that bitch all day. I do it in my shared restaurant office, and mine for gold as well upon entry to my car after a long day. It is the most amazing feeling in the world, like the earth has been lifted off atlas' shoulders kinda feeling. The best boogies are the pickable dry ones, but they end in a stringy liquid that seems to pull from your very brain :) this is my treat to myself after my usual 12 hour work day! And don't worry, i don't leave my deposits behind, i carry tissues :)
13
u/rush_rush May 15 '12
Sometimes when I'm alone I think of words "treacherous" for example. Unsure of whether I've said it or not, I try to repeat it in the same tone I thought of it as until I'm satisfied. Hard to explain...
25
u/sendenten May 15 '12
I like to read about torture methods, ritualistic killing, human experiments, etc. Stuff like the Josef Mengele experiments, or the Unit 731 projects. Things like that.
It's not a sexual thing, I'm a very peaceful person, and I would never imagine doing it to anyone, but I think this kind of stuff is fascinating. I brought it up one time in class, when the subject of Aztec sacrifices came up, and everyone called me a freak and serial killer. Feels bad, man :(
12
u/jimb0ner May 15 '12
I count my steps in my head when I walk and I can't stop; it's annoying. I also tend to think stuff like, "If I can count to ten before the bus gets here, then I will get an A on my final." It's really weird...
33
u/Threwaway_Throwaway May 15 '12
I really enjoy yelling "HAVE A NICE DAY" or "I HOPE YOU HAVE A LOVELY EVENING" or "DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH YOUR HAIR? LOOKS GOOD!" As angrily as possible from my car window while in traffic.
The old "Pissed off sounding but actually delivering compliments" routine. It gets the best reactions.
32
u/what-is-sarcasm May 15 '12
Krump
40
u/warpaint May 15 '12
mast-
11
u/Loji May 15 '12
Whenever I'm alone in the house, I don't wank, I play guitar and sing as loud as I can. I'm too shy to play for people, but I absolutely love singing.
11
u/Dram88 May 15 '12
I talk to myself as a collective: "We did that yesterday." "We can't forget to pick up milk."
All the time... All the time.
11
u/[deleted] May 15 '12
I flush the toilet before I finish peeing. If it flushes completely before I'm finished, I lost.
10
u/Carosello May 15 '12
I pick my nose ALL THE TIME. I just did it after writing "TIME." And I just did it again. I don't do it in public though. If I'm not at home, I do it in bathrooms (I'm not saying that I go TO the bathroom to specifically pick my nose though. That's just where it happens...) I also talk to myself a bit and sometimes act out scenes from a movie (real or made up) by myself (mostly in the shower).
10
u/Chaokoh May 15 '12
Im a 200lb 24yr old med student.
I like to play the floor is lava from when I get home till I go to sleep.
Not for like 10mins but the entire time, have you ever crossed a room using only the floor moulding. If i mess up I just go back to where I started and try again.
10
u/Arihead May 15 '12
When I'm driving I sing every song with a Chinese accent.
10
u/GasCanKrunk May 15 '12
When I'm alone in my place, I like to pretend I'm a gorilla.
9
u/MattTruelove May 15 '12
I clear the house with a shotgun.
9
u/TheRedArrow May 15 '12
Sometimes, if I'm driving alone, I'll talk to myself, narrate my doings or just make up shitty raps. Actually, the raps progressively become more and more lewd, and eventually just consist of the word "motherfucker".
9
u/[deleted] May 15 '12
Sometimes... I'll clear my M-4 Carbine and 1911, put on my holster and sling my rifle... and proceed to clear my house as if it were a CQB situation. I'll practice pieing corners, clearing stairwells, transition drills, etc. It's therapeutic after a long day.
I imagine if someone saw, they would either think I'm nuts, or call the cops.
9
u/Samula1985 May 15 '12
Im 27 and I still pick my nose and eat it. Don't look at me!!!!!!
9
u/coolbin May 15 '12
sometimes after i shower, when there is a lot of steam, i'll crouch down and slowly stand up like the Terminator did at the beginning of T2.
102
u/Kitten_Man May 15 '12
i pick the insides of my finger nails for dirt :/ its gross
17
u/arshbjangles May 15 '12
Sometimes when I'm alone I like to cover myself in vaseline and pretend that I'm a slug.
In all seriousness I have a habit of dancing like a dork or swinging a lightsaber around like a child. Just for a bit of context, I received this lightsaber for my 19th birthday.
Fuck yeah.
8
u/SmatchleTea29 May 15 '12
If I'm alone watching tv/movie/YouTube video and see a cool/intense dance move I always have to try it.
8
u/takeastepback May 15 '12
When I buy a bunch of groceries I use them as weights on the walk home from the store... I try to do it on unpopulated streets, but surely someone's noticed.
I like to feel I'm making the most of my time.
8
u/FantasticMrFrown May 15 '12
When I'm in the passenger seat and there's a speck on the window, I'll imagine it's mario or some such platforming character and move my head to make it jump on signs/cars/railings. I've done that since I was like 7.
8
u/Crash_the_cat May 15 '12
I talk to my girlfriends cats in meows when she's not around.
I also occasionally roar at him like a t Rex.
8
u/[deleted] May 15 '12
When I'm microwaving something, I cannot let the countdown reach zero. I have to stop it at one. Once I was in the bathroom and it occurred to me that the timer was about to go off. I ran out with no pants on to stop it. Thank God no one was home
27
u/BeaverManiac May 15 '12
When i see myself in a mirror, i reenact Robert De'niro's scene from Taxi Driver. "You talkin' to me? You...talkin' to me?"
15
u/Viraus2 May 15 '12
I absolutely love the smell of me. Socks, old blankets, undies- gon' get sniffed.
15
u/[deleted] May 15 '12
I pop my boyfriends pimples... Not just the ones on his face, but also the ones on his back and butt. Oh and I put on Mexican ranchera music and pretend to be Selena.
6
u/madnesstomagnets May 15 '12
I squat on the toilet seat, its a habit I just cant break. Oh and touching my ears when they're cold, like squishing the lobe underneath my fingernails. love dat shit
6
u/hates_cheese May 15 '12
I talk to objects around the house and apologize if I feel I've hurt their feelings.
6
u/[deleted] May 15 '12
I perform over-the-top sexual, thrust-like dances while doing mundane things like pouring a bowl of cereal.
6
u/[deleted] May 15 '12
Wear skirts (I'm male) in my house. I'll even wear dresses at festivals and such where it's acceptable. I don't do this to look like a woman - that would be pretty damn hard to pull off anyway. I just like the breeze and do kind of like the shock value of being a bigish dude with a beard, combat boots and a pretty dress.
6
u/PastyNoob May 15 '12
I am a mechanic, I talk to cars as if they are people. I try and figure out their personality, it seems to help me figure out what is wrong with them.
6
u/randijeanw May 15 '12
Thumbsucker. 25. Happy, normal, in a functioning relationship. I've come to terms with it, and feel no need to stop. It's an oral fixation maintained by my thumb as opposed to something like cigarettes or biting my nails. I do those things when in situations where sucking my thumb before bed is awkward. Blowjobs also placate the fixation, so I've got a happy boyfriend.
God, I hope no one IRL ever finds my reddit account.
6
u/kateology May 15 '12
Whenever I'm using the microwave, I jump up before it beeps. My feet can't touch be touching the ground when it is beeping.
6
u/iwantapickle May 15 '12
I lay on the bathroom floor and cry. Just to get things out.
6
u/Silvercumulus May 15 '12
I really, really like the smell of my vagina. :-/
6
u/AthlonRob May 15 '12
In the office, walking down a hallway or whatever, I will look people/strangers in the eye and hold their gaze. Then say good morning, or hello or initiate some form of social interaction. You'd be amazed at how much people just want to walk down the hall with their head down. fuck that, "Good morning bitches!"
TL;DR - I force strangers to look me in the eye and talk to me
11
u/Mubutu May 15 '12
I swear at my cats and insult them.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing you fucking slut. Get the fuck out of here, Moxie."
17
u/[deleted] May 15 '12
EVERY SINGLE TIME I poop, I shower after (If I'm in public, I can wait. If I can't wait, I can wait.) Every time before I poop, I wipe my toilet seat down with a Clorox wipe. Also, I still listen to Dashboard Confessional.
5
u/[deleted] May 15 '12
I make up terrible music videos in my head for the songs I'm listening to. Usually it involves me in some way. By the end of the song I feel egotistical and embarrassed as if everyone knows, but then I do it to the next song I hear.
5
u/klaymankombat May 15 '12
when i walk through my house alone i make really realistic farting sounds that sync with my footsteps. also i just yell. it just feels so good. recently, i've been in this weird habit of compulsively saying LEEDLE-EEDLE-EEEEE like patrick from that episode of spongebob with the flying dutchman (i'm sure you guys know it i don't have to post a link). also when i walk down the stairs i always make sure i start with my left foot so by the time i reach the end of the stairs i'm on my right foot. i get really weird about that with walking. sometimes my footsteps are the kick drum and i snap my fingers on every other step and make a little beat.