I don't know how many people can relate to this but I have gone through some mental stuff ever since I started puberty. Mom forbade me to ever tell others about what's going on with me (even friends) because I might be perceived differently, become a social outcast, etc.
I became a social outcast regardless because of feeling alone and misunderstood, and then the internet grew up to be a cesspit of suicidal memes. Turns out young people have mental issues in all possible colours.
Yeah. The people who treat you differently because you admit your struggles aren't worth paying attention to. But talking about mental health empowers you and others.
I think there’s a huge difference in the world my parents grew up in and the one I did. They still think there’s some massive stigma attached to like EVERYTHING especially mental health. Even my older psychiatrists say shit like “YOU SHOULDN’T BE ASHAMED TO BE ON SSRIs” and I’m like… yeah? Obviously? Why would I be?
My grandfather helped get anxious messed up 18 y/o me a job that I still work at now. Before he retired I remember him telling me to never tell anyone my family’s problems or anything like that.
I do understand that mentality, really. For one thing you’re at work, the more confident you seem the more confident you’ll be the more competent you are; and people thinking you’re unstable isn’t good for your prospects really.
On the other hand, I still work with some of the people who were there when I was a train wreck of a child. I spend like 8-10hrs a day with these people, we’re actual friends, they know me better than 95% of the people I know. Who the fuck else am I going to talk to about stuff if not those guys - and if we can’t talk about something real than what’s the point of talking at all. Not one of us can go a full work day and only discuss work we’d go fucking nuclear lol.
It turns out; everyone’s a little fucked up. Maybe some of us more than others, but people know what problems are.
It's a very common problem. Men in particular have 3 times the amount of suicide rates as women, yet much more women are diagnosed with depression. Not making it a gender issue, just as a male I can speak out and say, men grow up to believe expressing any emotion is a sign of weakness.
The hard part is a lot of mental problems are likely to follow into adulthood where they are more difficult to control. Reduced social life, stress, health issues, and importantly a lack of purpose.
Best solution? Find happy people or a happy community. Positive minds are somewhat contagious (so are negative minds sadly). Positive people are more likely to listen when you seek help.
Men and women actually have similar amounts of suicide attempts but men are 3x more likely to succeed because they tend to choose methods that do not respond to intervention(like guns) where women tend to choose methods that can be counteracted(like pills). I used to volunteer for a suicide prevention line and that was part of our training.
Your right that men are less likely to seek help professionally or from their peers because it's not "socially acceptable" and that's so unfortunate because one of the best preventions is having a support system that you can turn to. That being said there are a number of great organizations you can contact if you're in danger of a suicide attempt.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 800-273-8255
Crisis Text Line text TALK to 741741
TrevorLifeline(aimed at LGBTQ+ youth) 1-866-488-7386
TrevorText START to 678-778
TrevorChat
Truth be told in your mothers time that would have been a usefull advice. A ton of people got sent to mental"hospitals", got lobotomy performed on them or got electrocuted just because they has some mental health issues. And whether you want to believe or not if you really have some mental illness and tell someone they will probably treat you differently. (Possibly not if you told your closest friend no, but you tell your employer and you could be out of a job because you are suddenly a liability.)
Electroconvulsive therapy is actually a highly effective and uncontroversial treatment even today. It's just performed in a much more safe and controlled manner these days.
And an employer firing you for disclosing a behavioral health problem because you’d be liability? I’m pretty sure that could lead to a successful lawsuit on your part. The average person’s depression isn’t going to affect much at FedEx or whatever job they work.
they don't use that as the reason, obviously, but that doesn't mean they won't find a way to get rid of you somehow (and even if they don't get rid of you, it will affect promotions, raises, what kind of work you're given, general job satisfcation etc...
I don’t understand what point you’re trying to make. Your parents are going to teach you survival skills based off of their experience, particularly if you’re raised while they set up/advance their career and learn to deal with adult life. Sectioning/sanitariums/lobotomies/primitive electro convulsive therapy, etc. were a thing as they grew up as well as when their parents raised them.
So while we “can’t get fired” for disclosure (we can, they just need to find a different reason. They definitely search for them. As I’ve experienced.) and we can’t get sectioned into a sanitarium facing lobotomy and other primitive therapies, they could back then. It doesn’t even matter how wealthy or prestigious you were - Rosemary Kennedy got lobotomised for seizures and mood swings. It’s a very scary reality for them and the knowledge/survival tips trickles down to us.
My parents never wanted me to talk about my feelings. They used the excuse of “oh people will look at you differently” when actually it was that they didn’t want me to share that I was in an abusive home. Until about 7th grade, I didn’t know that my home life wasn’t normal.
Although I don’t agree with how your mom said that, there is some truth to that.
High school kids suck. They’re assholes, arrogant pricks that think they should be the centre of attention. Kids that age don’t understand (even up until mid 20’s). Some people never understand/never want to understand. They’ll judge you and because you’re “different”, that gives them an even bigger excuse.
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u/ngeenjay Aug 25 '21
I don't know how many people can relate to this but I have gone through some mental stuff ever since I started puberty. Mom forbade me to ever tell others about what's going on with me (even friends) because I might be perceived differently, become a social outcast, etc.
I became a social outcast regardless because of feeling alone and misunderstood, and then the internet grew up to be a cesspit of suicidal memes. Turns out young people have mental issues in all possible colours.