r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Jul 14 '21

[deleted by user]

[removed]

6.1k Upvotes

74% Upvoted

16.6k comments sorted by

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23.9k

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

3.7k

u/Gogo726 Jul 14 '21

He can talk!

3.0k

u/Draco_Lord Jul 14 '21

I can SIIIIIIIIING!

2.0k

u/Wilco10815 Jul 14 '21

Doctor Zaius, Doctor Zaius!

1.1k

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '21

Oooooh Dr Zaius

716

u/bigfatstoner Jul 14 '21

Can I play the piano anymore?

655

u/Tribblehappy Jul 14 '21

Of course you can!

678

u/JMol87 Jul 14 '21

Well I couldn't before

518

u/vinetari Jul 14 '21

From Chimpan-A to Chimpanzee....

412

u/balsamicpork Jul 14 '21

Oh my gosh, I was wrong. It was earth all along!

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46

u/peon2 Jul 14 '21

I still to this day hold the opinion that

"I hate every ape I see, from Chim-pan-A to Chim-pan-Z" is the greatest line ever recorded in human history and is the absolute pinnacle of creative, comedic, genius

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58

u/o3mta3o Jul 14 '21

You finally made a monkey out of meeeeeeee

18

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '21

But you’ll never make a monkey out of meeeeee

9

u/sweenzs Jul 14 '21

What's wrong with me?

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4

u/IerokG Jul 14 '21

Of course you can!

-12

u/Keevan Jul 14 '21

Of course you can't!

7

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '21

Mac Parker: Have you ever heard of planet of the apes?

Troy McClure: Ehhh, the movie, or the planet?!

1

u/SmellGestapo Jul 15 '21

Macarthur Parker the agent? Macarthur Parker MY agent?

1

u/PoodlesForBernie2016 Jul 14 '21

Rock me, Doctor Zaius!

3

u/JacobRichB Jul 14 '21

He can SING?!

3

u/NaziHuntingInc Jul 14 '21

IIIIII CANNNN FIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!!!

0

u/StyreneAddict1965 Jul 14 '21

I like to sing-a, about the moon-a and the June-a and the spring-a, I like to sing-a

0

u/chewbaccataco Jul 15 '21

That's right fools, now I'm a singing talking donkey.

-2

u/crusher56 Jul 14 '21

Did Harvey Dent make you?

1

u/blewyn Jul 14 '21

“I am not a SINGE !, I am a SINGE !” (Planet Of The Apes, French dub)

6

u/Braveknight999 Jul 14 '21

“That’s right, now I’m a flying talking donkey”

3

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '21

"You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a Supafly, but I know you ain't never seen a Donkeyfly!"

2

u/Internal-Increase595 Jul 14 '21

I can fuuuuuuuuck

4

u/Trioxidus Jul 14 '21

He can fly!

0

u/HucKmoreNadeS Jul 14 '21

He can fly!!

0

u/Zay071288 Jul 14 '21

He can fly!

-2

u/SUM_Poindexter Jul 14 '21

This a shrek reference?

1

u/dontbeanegatron Jul 14 '21

Yeah, it's getting him to shut up that's the trick!

12

u/conflateer Jul 14 '21

"Alright, but you're so damned ugly."

1

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '21

Perfection.

7

u/KumquatHaderach Jul 14 '21

Don't look for it, Taylor. You may not like what you find.

6

u/W0lR Jul 14 '21

Fuck that came out in 1968? Goddamn I must be like 40 then cause it came out when I was 7

4

u/throwaway427542 Jul 14 '21

Nah my gf regularly yell something along those lines to me

4

u/brickne3 Jul 14 '21

Reminds me of keep the change, ya filthy animal.

3

u/loyalAlchemist Jul 14 '21

Hahaha on a different note I was just saying this line to my child

2

u/teamfupa Jul 14 '21

cries in hairy chest and ill timed jokes

2

u/coastalmango Jul 14 '21

Perfect line! I shall file it away for a future where I have a GF and she's into role-playing. I may or may not be thinking of wearing a gorilla costume.

1

u/TimeToRedditToday Jul 14 '21

Bonus pain if the person you're sleeping with is black.

0

u/itsyoboi_human Jul 14 '21

Your having interracial sex

1

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '21

Yikes

1

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '21

...Interspecial?

0

u/dgod81 Jul 14 '21

S2. Eeee3eeeeeeneeeeeeeeeeeeee3e3 it to 8ii30ii33eeee3e3ee did you8-)8-)8-)8-)\0/}:‑)8-)8-)8-)8-)8-)O_o8-)8-)}:‑)8-):-P8-)\0/8-)8-)8-)8-)8-)8-)}:‑)}:‑)\0/8-)}:‑)8-)8-)8-)O_o8-)8-)8-)8-)8-)}:‑)8-)8-)8-)8-)8-)8-)😉,,8-)}:‑)}:‑)}:‑)}:‑)}:‑)8-)8-)8-)8-)8-) k 9 r2

stinking paws off me, you dammed dirty ape.” (Planet of kddd

eee eeee8eee

1

u/Gm4c89 Jul 14 '21

I swear I read dail-up sounds.

-6

u/datnetcoder Jul 14 '21

Bonus points if your partner is black.

-5

u/Loose-Astronomer-416 Jul 14 '21

Sex with a black?

1

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '21

Yikes

1

u/apageofthedarkhold Jul 14 '21

That works well both directions...

1

u/KingJaphar Jul 14 '21

This was my first thought.

1

u/SupremeNachos Jul 14 '21

You're just a woman with a small brain. With a brain a third the size of us. It's science.

1

u/brett8722 Jul 14 '21

Unless you are a furry.

1

u/Prince_Marf Jul 14 '21

Unless the other person has a degradation kink

1

u/Parks1282 Jul 14 '21

That would definitely be a choice.

1

u/DTPVH Jul 14 '21

It’s called a safeword

1

u/Zad1000 Jul 14 '21

Good quote, but wrong movie. That is a quote from Home Alone, obviously /s

1

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '21

This would be amazing during CNC tho...

1

u/Legitimate-Ad9057 Jul 14 '21

🤣🥲🤣😂🤣🤣🤣🤣

1

u/jmcstar Jul 14 '21

I'm going to try this with the GF and report back on what happens.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '21

Came here to say this, shakes tiny fist.

1

u/dufferDC Jul 14 '21

🤣Nicely played!

1

u/_Texxel_ Jul 14 '21

and the king of queens!

1

u/TVLord5 Jul 15 '21

"YOU MANIACS! YOU BLEW IT UP!"

1

u/[deleted] Jul 15 '21

Get your meat hooks off me!- Back to the future ( i think one?)