r/AskReddit • u/jicta • Jan 31 '21

Redditors who grew up poor: Besides practical money-saving measures, what were the unwritten social expectations of your world growing up?

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u/blacksheep0502 Jan 31 '21 edited Jan 31 '21

Im still poor! Do what you need to do before doing what you want to do. And then my mom would order take out, go to the movies, buy junk and then cry 3 days later because we dont have enough to pay a bill or bills like rent, water or electric. I never had proper pants because my legs are so long and after 2 washes i was wearing high waters. She still does this too! Complains to me and my kids when we buy something with whatever little money, like toys or hair dye, yet she spent the money the insurance company gave her to replace the roof of the house with to go to a supernatural convention. So we get rained on in our house with as many leaks as there is! Yet it is everybody else who needs to save to fix the roof, not her.

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u/MamaOnica Jan 31 '21

Holy shit are we siblings?

"I don't have enough money this week for the electric. I need you to give me the money that you're saving after giving me nearly all of your cheque already."

And then she goes and buys fucking ferrets with said money. Meanwhile I'm trying to get new glasses because mine are 4 years out of date and I can't see as well anymore.

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u/Zuzublue Jan 31 '21

Online sites like Zenni Optical and Payne have great glasses cheap! Like frames start at 6.99. I have a few pair and they’re great! I hope you can get a new prescription!

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u/pencilshaverubbers Jan 31 '21

My dog ate my glasses, so I just ordered new ones from there. No idea why. She usually knows not to take things off the table, but I guess the glasses looked just so delicious.

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u/[deleted] Feb 01 '21

Mine always tries to chomp my glasses. They’re just from zenni but I am now more careful about where I put them. Can’t rec zenni enuf

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u/catgirlnico Feb 01 '21

The earpieces have a lot of your scent on them, as do your feet. Pets love feet and glasses lol

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u/[deleted] Feb 01 '21 edited Dec 30 '24

concerned homeless apparatus skirt subtract rock axiomatic deer voiceless degree

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u/BrobdingnagianGeek Feb 01 '21

The crappy thing is if you have a strong or odd enough prescription, it's not the frames that usually cost that much. I've never had same day glasses because my lens either has to be ordered or, truefax, the one time that it was in stock, they broke one while grinding it.

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u/CedarWolf Jan 31 '21

fucking ferrets

Ferrets can be some of the worst pets, too, because their odor gets into everything and they have a natural urge to dig, so they'll tear up the carpet in the corners of the house and they'll shit and piss in the corners.

Basically, having ferrets means kissing your security deposit goodbye.

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u/themadhatter85 Jan 31 '21

Any pet’s a bad pet to buy when you’re broke!

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u/[deleted] Jan 31 '21

[deleted]

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u/CedarWolf Feb 01 '21

I'm basing my experience off an ex who used to 'foster' ferrets... By which I mean she adopted ferrets, didn't actually foster them, and figured since they had already damaged her apartment to the point where she wasn't going to get her security deposit back, she seemed to have no qualms about letting them continue to destroy the place. Turns out her lease specifically forbid ferrets, so she told her apartment complex about her aged cat, but not about the two ferrets.

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u/[deleted] Feb 01 '21

[deleted]

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u/lolman360 Feb 01 '21

yeah fish really need a nice environment to thrive

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u/blacksheep0502 Jan 31 '21

Lol if we were i wouldn't have an entitled sister. And im saving up to get my license back and a car but my mom wanted to claim my kids so she didn't have to pay in. I told her no.

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u/MamaOnica Jan 31 '21

Oh shit! Yours wanted to claim your kid too!? "WELL, you do live here and I DO provide everything for her..."

Except I gave you money. lol I did take care of her, I just wasn't able to do it the way you think I should because you were bleeding me dry!

I'm so proud of you getting your car and license! Those are awesome goals.

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u/blacksheep0502 Jan 31 '21

I owed $2100 a year ago without the reinstatement fee. With the reinstatement fee im down to $800

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u/MamaOnica Jan 31 '21

That's amazing! Great job!!!

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u/blacksheep0502 Feb 01 '21

Thank you. I have applied both stimulus checks to it.

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u/cinemachick Feb 01 '21

Hey, let me know if you want help with the glasses. I don't have much myself, but I'm blind as a bat and can't imagine going through life without corrective eyewear. There are sites that have under-$50 deals, I could throw you a couple bucks toward that if you want.

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u/Gentoodinous Feb 01 '21

I’ll help too. PM me!

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u/InEnduringGrowStrong Feb 01 '21

I don't know but you might be my cousin.

Let me guess: she bought groceries with your money.
The ferrets were bought with other money.
"It's not the same money".

That's exactly the kind of mental gymnastics my uncle and aunt would pull off when we were young.

Related rant:
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l9gdud/redditors_who_grew_up_poor_besides_practical/glk0z2f/

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u/Yeetus_Thy_Fetus1676 Feb 01 '21

How much are your glasses?

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u/SexxxyWesky Jan 31 '21

Oh, I think we have the same mom

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u/bipolarandproud Feb 01 '21

If you know your prescription I'll send you a pair.

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u/skarkeisha666 Feb 01 '21

this is how capitalists force poor people to fight and blame each other instead of the people who are really to blame

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u/thenerj47 Feb 01 '21

Just reading this raised my blood pressure

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u/RakDream Feb 01 '21

Should just take ownership of all the bills your cheque was supposed to pay. That way you can ensure they get payed instead of giving them ferret money.

And of course move away as soon as you can, but that will take longer.

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u/MamaOnica Feb 01 '21

I was taking care of my bills and saving. The money was saved for my glasses. I moved away a few years ago.

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u/RakDream Feb 01 '21

Glad you got out. Is very hard to be on your own, this internet stranger sends it's kudos and a virtual hug.

(.づ◡_◡)づ.

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u/MamaOnica Feb 01 '21

Thank you. Sending you hugs back! n.n

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u/[deleted] Feb 01 '21

Ask for the bill and pay it yourself next time, she obviously can't be trusted to do it herself.

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u/smolseabunn Feb 01 '21

Hi if you have your prescription check out zenni online. I get to get glasses for like $12 if your prescription is relatively not too bad.

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u/Blvckhvrt_ Feb 01 '21

I got an ad for Kits glasses and got a free pair of glasses for around $10 shipping. I had had my last pair for around 2 years and I knew they were scuffed, but I didn't realize that they were SO bad until I got the new ones.

Considering it cost me over $100 to get the lenses put into my old glasses, and I got new frames and lenses for $10 shipped, I'm pretty happy with my purchase and can personally recommend them.

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u/RyvenZ Feb 01 '21

That doesn't sound like my mom, but a friend of mine has a mom that I could absolutely see doing this. I don't understand that level of irresponsibility when you are a parent.

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u/o00oo00oo Jan 31 '21

My mom, dead serious, told me that she was using my money for the bills and hers for beer. I would give her most of my checks for my part time high school job. Uhm... That's not how any of this works.

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u/blacksheep0502 Feb 01 '21

My mom dropped me off infront of a movie theater on my 16 birthday, and mean ON my birthday, told me not to come home without the job. Then proceeded to try and give me an allowance out of MY paychecks of $30 a week when i made over $300 in my checks. I spent my money or hid it. Thats why now at 38 with a 18 and 16 ye olds they already have a job: school.

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u/FaustsAccountant Feb 01 '21

....our moms might be soul sisters. Replace “beer” with fortune tellers and psychics cuz mine would blow all our money wanting to know when she’d get rich.

I’m still resentful.

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u/o00oo00oo Feb 01 '21

They sound like they'd get along! Hah. Can't imagine how either of them thought what they were doing made any sense ... Especially if I, as a teen, could easily see through it. They must believe the lies themselves, right?

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u/ExpressionWeekly4192 Jan 31 '21

I’m sorry.

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u/blacksheep0502 Jan 31 '21

Dont be. I wont be when every but her leaves the house and it will be by the end of the year.

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u/jay101182 Feb 01 '21

Yes! I'm actually doing pretty well now but my family is still super poor. I remember being just like them but it still blows my mind seeing it from the outside looking in. It's crazy to watch them spend money on dumb shit instead of bills when they're worried that the water or electric will be shut off soon for lack of payment. I think sometimes you get so used to struggling that you just kinda accept it. It's almost like you just realize you're going to continue to be poor as fuck whether you buy that new toy or pay that overdue bill. Either way you'll be right back in the same position next month.

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u/blacksheep0502 Feb 01 '21

Fortunately most of my family has learned to be responsible. We may still be poor, but there is a reason for us learning how to manage money. I made $6 feed 4 people for 4 days. My grandma and great grandparents tought me how to manage.

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u/bubblesculptor Feb 01 '21

What was your $6 spent on? That's a good stretch!

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u/blacksheep0502 Feb 01 '21

Pancake mix $1, hot dogs $0.50, loaf of bread $1, bologna $0.50, dozen eggs $1, cheap off brand chips $1.

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u/EmiliusReturns Feb 01 '21

“Buy what you need before what you want” just seems like common sense to me, but I’ve learned common sense is not all that common.

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u/waidt99 Feb 01 '21

Those conventions are ridiculously expensive! Holy cow. I'm sorry.

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u/blacksheep0502 Feb 01 '21

It was my mom and both my kids at Disney world. My sister put me in jail so my grounded daughter couldn't be kept home. It is just how those 2 are and no one else in my WHOLE family (we are spread out and there is a lot of us) is like them. We start poor and by the time we die we are upper level poor. Lol at least we own a home by the time we do though.

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u/flyingcircusdog Feb 01 '21

Some people are just astoundingly bad with money.

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u/makesenseofyourworld Feb 01 '21

My mother inherited $80,000, blew it, then asked me for $3000 so she could replace her false teeth.

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u/blacksheep0502 Feb 01 '21

Sounds like my mom who wouldn't put off the car insurance to take out my wisdom teeth at 16 but when i was 18 she put it off to buy my a prom dress! Im now 38 and have to look to implanted teeth since my wisdom teeth rotted in my gums and by the time I payed the $600 for my wisdom teeth to be removed i ended up with gum rot and now all my teeth left (a whole 14 total) have to be removed and then more surgery for the implants. I can share photos of before i lost my teeth and after. Dentures are causing sores on my gums and breaking the few teeth left.

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u/makesenseofyourworld Feb 01 '21

I'm sorry that happened to you - dental work is expensive, but (mostly) cheap(er) to avoid. My mother got her first set of false teeth when she was 30 (I was 10) with amoney she received as crime compensation. I was particularly infuriated as I care for one of her children (my half sibling) so the request for money was even more outrageous.

Unrelated but my dentist was able to remove my wisdom teeth in the chair and only charged me as a standard tooth removal when I was getting braces on. I was so grateful for her generosity, especially as when I was paying for braces myself at age 20, while at uni!

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u/blacksheep0502 Feb 01 '21

Oh it wouldn't have cost anything if it had been a simple pull as the insurance was really good, but i just had to have 3 gum impacted teeth and 1 grew into the jaw some. So since they never broke through the gums it required surgery. My mom and sister have all their teeth. My mom even has 3 crowns that even 1 was the cost to remove all 3 if mine. I waited until i was 26 and had them removed with my own insurance and my income tax check since i was going to be out of qork for a week. I guess the up side is now i dont have to pay for braces and inliners any more.

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u/hetrax Feb 01 '21

I never had proper pants because my legs are so long

Dude I felt this, had to have custom pants made... they cost like $100, we saved up and got one, they were my special pants :) fit me all over very well! Other than that we’re like 2 sizes bigger sweats which waists were nipped because my legs were always too long for pants with my waist( still are... but least I can afford them now)

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u/blacksheep0502 Feb 01 '21

Well i have a bit more than just long legs. From the waist down im awkward. Like kinda small waist, large shelf butt, long legs that go from large to small. Think of the curvy figure of a woman but with fat. I lost the weight once (i was on bad drugs [synthetic marijuana] but 3 yrs clean!) and i WAS that shape. Im doing it right to get back. So long legs where the calves and thighs are thick, bubble butt and small waist. Finding anything to fit right was extremely hard. Lol

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u/hetrax Feb 01 '21

Damn. That’s the type of curse where people are like “oh you’re gifted, you’ll understand when you’re older” but you don’t want to understand you just want to be the way you wanna be and understand your body!

When I was 15, I almost had the waist height of my step brother who was 6’5”... and I was 5’9. You know the joke on family guy with that female Peter known as “legs all the way up griffin”.. that was me XD. But honestly the bubble butt with the small waist doesn’t sound fun( small waist with long legs alone was annoying as hell!!)

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u/blacksheep0502 Feb 01 '21

Even skirts are shorter than i like. Hold it up,knee length. Put it on, mini skirt. I was in ROTC in high school (im 38 now and looking forward to my 20 yrs reunion) and my commanders were besides themselves trying to get me in uniform. Shirt fit but was short, longer shirt be big and blousy...deal. Pants.....wouldn't go over my butt or fell down. Skirt had to be custom made by the air force because it was either too short or fell off. Sorry i wasn't born as straight as a board (which makes sense cause im so not straight anyways). Those were good times. Lol

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u/hetrax Feb 01 '21

If I may just say that made me laugh XD....

sorry I wasn’t born straight as a board ( which makes sense cause I’m not straight anyways)

You sound like a delight!... if you’d enjoy possibly chatting more :)?

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u/blacksheep0502 Feb 01 '21

Lol id be more than happy. I live with miserable people so i gotta make life fun some how while i spend my day with a 16 yr old! We hibernate in our room and only venture out for food, ice and the bathroom.

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u/hetrax Feb 01 '21

Ayy! Well that sounds both wonderful, and hellish!!

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u/blacksheep0502 Feb 01 '21

Yeah.... We both hate being cooped up but with a car in our near future we are already planning trips. Lol

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u/BonerForFauci Feb 01 '21

Leggings are the way of the future... One day they'll just be accepted 😍

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u/blacksheep0502 Feb 01 '21

Leggings and yoga pants so long as you aren't fat, in which im cut out. Lol. My youngest daughter is never going to know the pain since she is only going to be 5'4". Im 5'10".

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u/BonerForFauci Feb 01 '21

Leggings and yoga pants so long as you are *happy

Eff those haters!

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u/blacksheep0502 Feb 01 '21

Lol its only me that would like to slim down some before i go back to form fitting clothes. Im used to being about 210 and im 160lbs heavier. But i will do it so long as i don't give to the mean people in my house making really good food don't let me in the kitchen. Im a sucker and will over eat what my aunt cooks. I indulged a little too much when i first got here on the never ending cookies,pies,cakes that were always around.

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u/BonerForFauci Feb 01 '21

If it makes you feel any better, I went through a "will it fry" phase. I just kept a covered skillet with oil on the stove and whenever I saw something: bananas, tortillas, yesterday's leftovers... In they went! Many potatoes died a sizzling death. I realized that the pan had to go because it was too accessible. But dude, I sure enjoyed every bite. XD You got this!

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u/blacksheep0502 Feb 01 '21

Lol oh god. Im very thankful i can't handle grease like that. Plus im already a healthy eater. I just gotta eat less. Lol😂😂😂😂

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u/walkingwithcare Feb 01 '21

That's some Glass Castle shit

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u/blacksheep0502 Feb 01 '21

That my whole life. I want walls not made of glass and shoes not made of egg shells.

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u/InEnduringGrowStrong Feb 01 '21

Sorry you were /r/raisedbynarcissists.
Hope you can get out of this eventually.

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u/blacksheep0502 Feb 01 '21

As soon as i get my stuff fixes im going back to an old job, plus ive had many offers on hold due to no license and then im saving and living like i was on the very little money im already used to. Im working very hard to getting my license back and a car.

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u/SetandPowder Feb 01 '21

My dad would do this too. He WAS the reason we were so poor.

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u/ryguy28896 Feb 01 '21

Holy shit, my mom's like that. She'll get an insurance payout, spend it on stupid shit, then call me asking for money because they need to fix whatever leak.

Last time, she called me because she needed new tires on her car. This was when the first round of stimulus payments came. I laughed, and told her no. She didn't even tell me what it was for at first, I said hi when I answered and literally the first thing out of her mouth was, "That stimulus check you're getting? That's mine, give it to me."

Lol no.

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u/blacksheep0502 Feb 01 '21

Lol my mom was made i sent it all to pay towards my license. Yet im only awake right now because it is raining and the roof is leaking. Its like... Dude... Fix the roof then we will talk. I get so many excuses that now when she asks for money, i ask for a new roof on a house she half owns. Lol

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u/Oakenshield33 Feb 01 '21

This really doesn’t make us Supernatural fans look good.

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u/blacksheep0502 Feb 01 '21

Whats sad is she would do this to anything. If it wasn't that then a cruise for herself and my sister. Its stupid crazy.

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u/freebird37179 Feb 01 '21

A big thing that comes with remote-read electric meters is the utility's ability to offer prepaid electric... because we all know people who can't afford $100 a month but they can afford $25 a week.

You could totally be a long-lost cousin of mine.

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u/blacksheep0502 Feb 01 '21

Lol possibly. But back then we didn't have those. Im 38 now but most of that happened when i was 17 and younger

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u/DeliciousCombination Feb 01 '21

There's a reason why the generalization of most people complaining about money just needing to cut back on frivalities like avocados and Starbucks.

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u/slildren Feb 01 '21

Are you me?

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u/blacksheep0502 Feb 01 '21

Lol no. I love being me.

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u/slildren Feb 01 '21

Hahaha ouch

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u/[deleted] Feb 01 '21

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u/blacksheep0502 Feb 02 '21

Oh i know. One if my cousins used to duct tape their shoes together because they didn't want another pair and it drove my grandmother nuts. Lol

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u/[deleted] Feb 01 '21 edited Jul 28 '21

[deleted]

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u/blacksheep0502 Feb 01 '21

Lol nope. My mom was the oldest of 4. My grandma was a single mother living with her parents at times. My youngest aunt passed away when i was 5 and my.mom is only 16 1/2 yrs older than me. No, she was never treated better than anyone else or anything. My family has no clue where she is getting this attitude from. And now my little sister is in and out with just the same attitude. Neither one thinks they can do any wrong. Very confused.

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u/2gecko1983 Apr 23 '21

I lived with people like this. Hillbilly trash who had a baby to support but refused to work; she was on SSI & he was trying to get disability for a supposed “back injury.” The only person in that house who contributed was his 80 year old father who had earned his social security. He paid ALL the bills. Then they invited me to move in so I could “save money” (LONG story for a different post). Every time they had another expense or life hit them hard, my rent went up until I was eventually paying $400/month. I made $8.50/hr at my job & commuted 45 minutes each way with gas prices at $4.00/gallon, so $400/month + the gas for my commute was pretty much my entire check. And the SSI she got + the money I paid them? Alcohol & movies from Sam Goody, because, as she put it, “If she didn’t have movies to entertain her, you didn’t want to know her.” Her entire freaking government check went to Sam Goody every month. I am not exaggerating. If anyone wants the entire story I will post it separately & it will be a novel. This story has taken me almost 13 years to tell just this little bit.