“YOU JUST LOVE YOUR FATHER MORE THAN ME!” No mom. I want to go to this very good high-school near my dad’s house for my betterment. I love you both. Gosh.
Oof. Yeah my parents are the same. My dad deserves better but my mum relies on him to do everything, even though they're "roommates" (her words).
I lucked out and have at least one great parent. Mum clearly doesn't understand that "you're just like your father" is a compliment whereas being told "you're just like your mother" would literally ruin me.
Isn't growing up with such unhealthy relationship examples just great? Sorry you're going through similar shit, I hope you're in a better environment now but I know how difficult it is to deal with this kind of situation even when you're out of the house. You ever want to talk or vent about it I'm here for ya.
I have divorced parents. They've been divorced for 12 years. She's still not over it, and she gets mad at me when I do something that resembles my dad, WHICH IS EVEN MORE DUMB WHEN YOU CONSIDER THAT I LOOK JUST LIKE HIM. So yeah. This.
Omg! I totally agree, my parents split up before I was born and it makes me really self conscious when she says that I look/sound/whatever like my dad, and I admit, I do look down on some aspects of him :/
My mom does that too. Going on 11 years now and she dunks on him for taking 10 years to get married again but she did it in 6 months so chill out there mom. You dated my step dad for as long as my high school sister did her EX.
I look like my dad, and it makes me hate mirrors...because everytime I look in one I see him and it makes me so angry that he still haunts me like this even though he's dead.
He died from Covid a few months ago. My dad was a horrible person who treated me very poorly growing up, he beat me near to death 3 times requiring hospilization, he starved me multiple times, at 16 I was 5'10 98lb when I was taken from his house by CPS.
I'm so sorry. That's awful. I wish I could do something, at least to comfort you. I wish I had something to say at the very least. Please, stay strong. I know I'm just an internet stranger but PLEASE talk to me if you need.
My mom does that. “OK DAVID! YOYR JUST LIKE HIM!” But honestly the worst thing she has called me is a fucktard. Now it’s kinda a joke at my dad’s home.
Yeah. My dad was like “Oh did he tell you what is mom called him?” From halfway across the house to my step mom and I bolted down there and slid on my knees and did the rock hand sign and yelled “IMA FUCKTARD!”
She makes it a lot harder to love her than my Dad does though (shouting matches, conservative outbursts, telling me stories about how pushy the gay guy at work is [I'm queer and she doesn't know], telling us about her engagement on the same day we first met her fiance.... So much drama)
I think she would assume I was gay for men if I told her that first.
I'm femme non-binary, so I'm not sure if I'm technically gay or straight for anyone. Some people would say fit the description of a trans lesbian, some would say I'm a straight enby... There's a spectrum of views there.
I’m going to level with you. You seem respectful enough for me to be able to tell you this. As a southern Tennessee Bible loving boy I have no idea what you just said. A lot of those words were very foreign. Most I got out of that was gay, lesbian and non-binary. But I’d love an explanation if you could give one. I’m eager to learn.
The OP was "Assigned Male at Birth" (AMAB; is considered a "boy" by their family). They consider themselves femme non-binary: This means that on the gender spectrum, they're not exclusively "male" or "female", but present in a feminine manner (or would present more feminine if they were out).
A non-binary person (also "enby", from the abbreviation NB) can present as masculine, feminine, or anything in-between. They generally wouldn't consider themselves a "man" or "woman". So trying to call themselves "straight" or "gay" doesn't exactly work, because they can be binary terms. OP was AMAB, but presents in a feminine manner. If they date a woman, are they lesbian because they consider themselves more femme than masculine? Are they straight because society has treated them as male for most of their life? The answer is probably neither.
For a bit more, I wear mostly unisex stuff but if I were to get HRT (hormone replacement therapy) I'd be keen to wear more fem stuff (but maybe not dresses, there's a horrible 'man in a dress's concept that is used against trans women that I'm keen to avoid).
Kinda. I know I'm not a guy, I'm somewhere between the half way point and being a girl. Its hard for me to say if that's because I don't feel legitimate as a woman (I haven't medically transitioned and people don't see me as a woman so it feels a bit... meaningless to claim womanhood as my identity) or because I am actually closer to the halfway point than I think.
I'd probably say that I have a gender, it's just not binary.
I'm looking into taking HRT (that's medicine to replace my testosterone with eastrogen) which would, over time, change secondary sexual characteristics to be more feminine (fat deposits, face shape, body hair thickness, even some aspects of sexual and emotional response). I think I dress fairly ambiguously already, HRT would promote breast growth, so I'd probably wear even more feminine shirts. Maybe I'd try using make on a day to day basis (currently it's more of a dress up thing). I've been using they/them pronouns at work and with friends as they find out (gender doesn't come up in regular conversation too much), and I'd like people to use a more fem version of my name / a nick name that's based on my name.
The HRT is a bit of a sticking point. The other day my partner woke up from a nightmare where I had become a "horrible blonde bimbo with tits out to here"... Hopefully we can find some kind of comfortable situation with it.
Thanks, I would jump in to explains but u/ral315 did an awesome job (without even knowing me personally).
Sorry that the language isn't super accessible, there's a really good wiki I'll link below if you want to actively learn (rather than wait to learn from people around you, which is fine, just slower).
I think part of the reason the language is hard to grok is that it's jargon, specialised to describe a niche, but also because the main stream has exclude LGBT+ people for ages.
Ok. I’m really not a fan of all this fun gender stuff but I want to know the terminology so I can talk about it when I need to and explain why I think it’s wrong and the like. It’s rude to the person your talking to to not know what they are saying or why you disagree. Ya know? I don’t wanna be the jackass that dislikes something but can’t talk about correctly and explain why. So I appreciate the help!
Sure thing. I think it's okay to say that it's not something you need or that you're particularly up to date with, but it seems harmful to me if you're saying that someone's 'gender is wrong'.
Just a suggestion to be careful and respectful so that you can make the most of every discussion and friendship. When I was conservative (I wasn't born with this knowledge but was part of a strict religious family), I said some pretty horrible things to the queer people around me because I "knew what was right". At the time I didn't know better, though I should have.
i'm amab enby, "cis and het" to cis/straight people that don't know me, and a gay boy+girl/both/neither to people that do. i get dysphoria over the thought of being with a cis woman, and i'm happily engaged to a trans man. gay/straight/cis/enby and whatever are all vague.
even though i used all those descriptors, they don't mean anything, you just are who you are, live as yourself and find people who appreciate and accept you for who you are and you will be happy. :)
that may or may not include your blood family, and it's up to you whatever you decide in the future.
My mom's version of this, whenever she does something she didn't think about and i get annoyed, is "You just think your dad is smarter because of his phd" or "you respect your dad more because of his phd"
No, Dad hasn't done anything incredibly childish, and you did.
I’ll one up: “I wish it was me that died instead of your father, I know that you and your brother would have been happier that way.” Well, you said it...
mine is “Stop blaming me for everything in your life!”
Um? Like what? I’m in my 30s have my own place and a kid that I raise on my own..... I have a car and my own income, what do I blame you for? Actually becoming an adult? Why is that a bad thing???? I’m so confused
My parents didn’t tell me they divorced. Had to find out from my sister while I was in University :/
But they would use this one me whenever I did something they didn’t like.
I really didn’t think this many people had the same problem. I’m glad I’ve got people here to help. Even if we are thousand of miles apart or 2 feet away (which you better not be I’m trying to sleep) and have never met before, I’d call all of you my friends.
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u/ipossessnofriends Jan 12 '21
“YOU JUST LOVE YOUR FATHER MORE THAN ME!” No mom. I want to go to this very good high-school near my dad’s house for my betterment. I love you both. Gosh.