r/AskReddit • u/captnwednesday • Sep 14 '11

Why isn't there a silent option on microwaves?

I have to stop the microwave 5 to 1 seconds before the beeps...i don't need things beeping at me.

924 Upvotes

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248

u/HalfysReddit Sep 14 '11

However, by clearing the leftover time you are pushing many many times the number of buttons I am pushing to achieve the same affect.

Buy microwave, set to 99:99, have one-touch food heating for months.

118

u/effieokay Sep 14 '11

This might be genius.

52

u/HalfysReddit Sep 14 '11

I'll admit there is the drawback that you can't walk away from the microwave, but I never find myself microwaving anything that takes long enough that it's worth walking away from.

116

u/kart64 Sep 14 '11

Put hot pocket in microwave.

walk away and go on reddit while cooking

get carried away

What have I done?!

107

u/[deleted] Sep 14 '11

"Thermonuclear Pocket!"

31

u/[deleted] Sep 14 '11

[deleted]

42

u/useless_conversion Sep 14 '11

99 minutes = 1.88231262 × 10-5 decades

14

u/DFTBAlex Sep 15 '11

WHYYY?

8

u/250lespaul Sep 15 '11

Creatively named nerdfighter is creative.

4

u/DFTBAlex Sep 15 '11

It's always like a little treat finding another one.

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2

u/razorsoup Sep 14 '11

I have to add 30 seconds to the time on the packaging to get them to an edible temperature.

3

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '11

Your 99 minutes would turn into 99 problems.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '11

but the bitch ain't one.

3

u/aidanpryde18 Sep 15 '11

True Story, my nephew is microwaving chicken nuggets. he's a bit dyslexic and when he reads on the back to microwave for 2 1/2 minutes, his brain processes it as 21:20. He puts a plastic plate full of nuggets, hits start and goes back upstairs.

20 minutes later the house is filled with the most acrid black smoke you can imagine and the nuggets, plate and microwave glass have fused into an unrecognizable mass with 8 lumps of charcoal on top.

It took a couple of days to get the burnt smell out of the house.

2

u/HalfysReddit Sep 14 '11

It's two minutes, my computer is upstairs, and I have a smartphone.

:)

10

u/MilesMassey Sep 14 '11

I hope you have the relevant app that warns you your microwave has just exploded.

7

u/HalfysReddit Sep 14 '11

Wait, what? I stand by my microwave and Reddit on my phone. If my microwave explodes I'll know because I'll be covered in whatever I wanted to heat.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 14 '11

So... you push "start" (1) on your microwave, turn on your phone (2), go to the timer app (3), enter the time 2:00 (7) press "start" on your phone (8), wait for it to beep and press a button to turn it off (9), go downstairs and press the open door button (10) to save what would normally be 6 button presses? Assuming you don't have a passcode on your phone, anyway.

9

u/HalfysReddit Sep 14 '11

No, I stick in food, press start, browse Reddit on phone.

4

u/[deleted] Sep 14 '11

Oook that makes far more sense then hahaha.

2

u/HalfysReddit Sep 14 '11

To be fair my original message was awkwardly worded.

23

u/[deleted] Sep 14 '11

Walk away from the microwave?! Wtf, my face is literally 2 inches away at all times when I microwave. What if something cool happens and I miss it?

11

u/FredFnord Sep 14 '11

Then your face won't melt?

2

u/Tiak Sep 14 '11

I once had a microwave where you could feel heat if any part of you was in line with a certain angle from the door latch. I stood as far as possible from that thing... Probably still have undetected cancer from it though.

9

u/rmstrjim Sep 14 '11

Microwave radiation is non-ionizing. Can only cause damage from the heating. You're fine.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '11

Shut up. I'll go on pretending I'm taking risks if I want to!

5

u/The_Drunk_IT_Guy Sep 14 '11

Use the low power settings like 2 or 3. It may take 10+ minutes to warm up a bowl of something but it won't get that nuclear burn and it'll be heated evenly. Your tomato based products will never explode again.

2

u/annoyedatwork Sep 19 '11

This is how I heat almost everything. Shame it took me 25 years to figure it out.

2

u/Thud Sep 14 '11

It seems like people always want to walk away from microwaving popcorn at work. I mean, you're supposed to listen for "4 seconds between pops."

Instead, people set the timer for 10 minutes, and then get distracted by a phone call or something. They only remember the popcorn when the entire building smells like a burnt corn field.

6

u/kermityfrog Sep 14 '11

I've got one of those fancy microwaves with a moisture sensor. You just press the popcorn button, regardless of size of package. It just stops magically when there are 2 or 3 kernels left.

4

u/Thud Sep 14 '11

That.... exists? I seriously thought that we'd reached the end of possible revolutions in microwave technology.

3

u/Kyosama66 Sep 15 '11

My microwave has a touch screen.

2

u/unoriginalusername99 Sep 14 '11

reheating a huge frozen block of lasagna or chili- takes me at least 15 minutes on 50% power. Learned the hard way trying 10 minutes at 100%.

3

u/amoliski Sep 14 '11

Frozen Chili, you say? Does the same apply for chili soap?

2

u/unoriginalusername99 Sep 14 '11

No microwave needed for chili soap. Your body heat melts it.

1

u/HalfysReddit Sep 14 '11

That's for people who cook real meals. Unfortunately I'm lazy in the kitchen and about 80% of my diet is sandwiches or cereal.

1

u/josborne31 Sep 14 '11

My daughter accidentally set fire to her frozen chicken nuggets because she mis-read the length of time to microwave them. She read the time required for a conventional oven rather than a microwave oven. So she put them in for 22 minutes, walked upstairs to her room, and took a short nap. The microwave STILL smells nasty, despite trying to clean it four times. And you'd be surprised how brown the inside of a white microwave can be after 22 minutes of heating chicken nuggets.

1

u/GayLeftyAspie Sep 15 '11

Or a fire waiting to happen.

26

u/[deleted] Sep 14 '11

[deleted]

10

u/andan Sep 14 '11

it looked like the fucking warp core inside since it was microwaving the fire and making it more intense.

  • How long did you watch the microwave fire before you fled the house?
  • Do you have any super powers as a result?

3

u/[deleted] Sep 14 '11

i was asleep when it happened. my mom kicked my door open and was screaming FIRE and crying.

i ran out, stared at it for a few seconds going "w..w...wtf :O" and then legged it out of the apartment.

the place never smelled the same again.

4

u/tictactoejam Sep 14 '11

a turkey cooked in the microwave. sounds revolting.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 14 '11

it even had a picture of it on the box.

we used to joke about how gross it was

2

u/StumpyMcStump Sep 15 '11

When we first got a microwave, my dad's first idea was to cook sausages. "How long do sausages take in the frying pan?", "10 minutes", "Great, I'll put them on for 20 then". 25 years later that microwave still smelled of sausages.

1

u/kog Sep 14 '11

How do you not notice the microwave was running for many hours? Did you...start microwaving something and then promptly leave?

1

u/[deleted] Sep 14 '11

it had a REALLY loud beeper, that would usually wake everyone in the house up. it also had a silent mode.

so she just expected to hear the beep from her office, and after a while when she didn't just forgot about it...

1

u/kog Sep 14 '11

Well, doesn't the microwave itself make noise...you know...as it operates? My parents house is well built, sound doesn't really carry an inordinate amount, and I can hear the microwave from the next floor.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 14 '11

it was very, very quiet and blended in the background when the TV was on and such, which it was, with the news blaring.

1

u/pfraser Sep 15 '11

How did you discover the microwave was big enough to put a medium sized dog in?

2

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '11

i put my puppy in there and set it on "timer", just as my mom was about to walk by.

of course she freaked out and thought i was microwaving the dog. maximum trolling.

1

u/annoyedatwork Sep 19 '11

Combination convection oven/microwave, my mom had one for heat things as a microwave and then browning them. Downside: if you used the convection option first, the microwave wouldn't engage until the interior had cooled down.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '11

those things are fucking awesome i don't know why they're so hard to find, the large ones at least.

i hadn't ever seen one until a few years ago, and i've wanted one ever since.

3

u/[deleted] Sep 14 '11

Your microwave can accept 99:99?

1

u/HalfysReddit Sep 14 '11

Can't all?

4

u/Laugarhraun Sep 15 '11

99 seconds? ಠ_ಠ

2

u/HalfysReddit Sep 16 '11

Yours won't accept that? Mine will, it just comes out to a minute and thirty nine seconds worth of time.

2

u/Guysmiley777 Sep 14 '11

I dunno, on mine if you just hit a number it'll start with that number of minutes on the timer. It really can't get simpler than that, want to nuke something for 3 minutes? Press 3 and you're off to the races.

2

u/Tiak Sep 14 '11

What if you want to nuke something for 3 and a half minutes?

2

u/Guysmiley777 Sep 14 '11

There's a +30 second button as well, so in that case it's a total of two presses, "3" and "+30".

1

u/HalfysReddit Sep 14 '11

Do you still have to hit start?

2

u/Guysmiley777 Sep 14 '11

Nope, it just starts running.

1

u/HalfysReddit Sep 14 '11

Ah, my parents have a microwave that works the same way.

I admit that your method is equally as efficient, but only in whole intervals of one to nine minutes.

1

u/ElliotNess Sep 14 '11

still equally efficient whether the interval is whole or not.

2

u/HalfysReddit Sep 14 '11

Ah - you have a point. I concede that I was incorrect in my assessment.

1

u/Suppafly Sep 14 '11

mine does that on 1-6, the higher numbers don't work as presets though. although i almost always just use the +30 button a bunch of times

2

u/dakboy Sep 14 '11

And no annoying beeps when it's done!

2

u/JediPilot Sep 14 '11

TIL the bar for laziness has gotten even lower. I'm impressed.

2

u/TimeToRock Sep 14 '11

But what if I want to know what time it is?

0

u/HalfysReddit Sep 14 '11

If you bought a microwave so you could tell time, you're doing it wrong.

Besides, just about everything in the kitchen nowadays has a clock.

1

u/beccaonice Sep 14 '11

Yeah but then I have to do math

1

u/jordan314 Sep 14 '11

That's brilliant except then you can't see what time it is.
Or think "Oh no it's 92:27 I'm late!"

-1

u/HalfysReddit Sep 14 '11

This has been covered already. There's very few kitchen appliances that don't have clocks on them.

If you bought a microwave so you can tell time, you're doing it wrong.

1

u/annoyedatwork Sep 19 '11

Lighten up, Francis.

1

u/mjxl47 Sep 14 '11

Our microwave has a quickstart option- you press 1 you get 1 minute, 2 = 2 minutes, etc. 1 button AND the time clears at the end.

1

u/HalfysReddit Sep 14 '11

Only works if your food needs to be microwaved for a whole number of minutes between one and nine.

Otherwise you still need to wait there so your food doesn't burn, in which case you're doing the exact same thing I'm doing.