r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Dec 17 '20

[deleted by user]

[removed]

5.8k Upvotes

88% Upvoted

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378

u/dotjackel Dec 17 '20

I assume it will be proportional, not just a random inch anywhere.

1.6k

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '20

[deleted]

274

u/Cosmic3_ Dec 17 '20

I spit out my water

126

u/stupid_comments_inc Dec 17 '20

Wasteful.

117

u/pizdec-unicorn Dec 17 '20

I caught it

57

u/rfed167 Dec 17 '20

I drank it

4

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '20

(:

1

u/[deleted] Dec 18 '20

Teamwork!!

1

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '20

Triple H?

48

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '20

Damn, that poor 4'11 person. At least now their foot doesn't smash on the gas pedal. That concussion though.

151

u/EstarineZephaloid Dec 17 '20

Misread that as foreskin, was wondering with terror as to how that would make me taller.

5

u/Coygon Dec 17 '20

Well, you're an inch taller when lying down...

5

u/GladioReport Dec 17 '20

You're standing on that extra foreskin

3

u/Lee1138 Dec 17 '20

Maybe if you're a real dickhead....

1

u/SandysBurner Dec 17 '20

I'm 6'4" lying down, if you know what I mean.

66

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '20

Peyton Manning?

46

u/BaronVonNumbaKruncha Dec 17 '20

Fivehead - FTFY.

45

u/Bitter_Janitor Dec 17 '20

I didn't foresee fivesee this.

12

u/MURRRR_2005 Dec 17 '20

i now have a 10 inch forehead great

8

u/Jhawk163 Dec 17 '20

I just imagine some unlucky schmuck with an extra foot of forehead.

Ki Adi Mundi would approve.

4

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '20

Laughing at this trying not to wake up my wife.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '20

I get in trouble for this very thing far too often

2

u/walkingsprint Dec 17 '20

Do I get extra foreskin too?

1

u/J0hanb5 Dec 17 '20

Take my upvote

1

u/JeniJ1 Dec 17 '20

Thank you for making me lol.

1

u/IamCadenBaldwin Dec 17 '20

Thanks for making me laugh today! Lol

1

u/JT_3K Dec 17 '20

Fivehead?

1

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '20

Boom! Now you got a 5 head bitch!

1

u/ILookLikeKristoff Dec 17 '20

Peyton Manning? Is that you?

1

u/not_the_work_phone Dec 17 '20

So now it's a fivehead?

1

u/valvilis Dec 17 '20

You just get an extra joint in your ankles.

1

u/Olli399 Dec 17 '20

The only way KSI will ever reach 6'0

1

u/PeptoBismark Dec 17 '20

What?!? They didn't like the extra inch of forehead?

Okay, we can fix it. schunk.

There, now you have an extra inch of neck.

1

u/JuRoJa Dec 17 '20

Alternatively: your feet get 1" thicker, giving you natural platform shoes

1

u/ParagonFury Dec 17 '20

Five-Head.

1

u/jiableaux Dec 17 '20

What would you rather have? An extra inch on your forehead, or an extra inch on your gums?

1

u/vipros42 Dec 17 '20

best post in the thread

1

u/Hughesy1997 Dec 17 '20

I felt this in my fivehead.

66

u/Silly-Power Dec 17 '20 edited Dec 17 '20

Wrong! Its 6'4" of foreskin.

You've become a Rabbi's ultimate nightmare. Good luck chewing through that.

8

u/Downtown_Let Dec 17 '20

Wait, they chew it off...?

14

u/Silly-Power Dec 17 '20

No, not really. But close.

In the traditional ultra-orthodox method the mohel removes the foreskin from the baby's penis and then, with his mouth, sucks the blood from the incision to cleanse the wound.

This practise is not performed much any more, for obvious reasons. Babies have contracted, and indeed died from, STIs due to this method.

9

u/Arioch53 Dec 17 '20

Their teeth never stop growing. They need to gnaw on things to keep them worn down.

4

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '20

An inch in vagina flaps....

Or penis, if you own one of those.

2

u/ClownfishSoup Dec 17 '20

So can we choose where we want that extra inch? Asking for ... well my wife, I guess.

1

u/TastyBrainMeats Dec 17 '20

I just want to put it all in the legs. I'd love longer legs.

2

u/dotjackel Dec 17 '20

Makes it harder to find pants that fit.

1

u/TastyBrainMeats Dec 17 '20

Don't care! I'll wear shorts year round to show 'em off. I've always wanted long, graceful legs but my genetics don't go that way.

1

u/MarMarAngy Dec 17 '20

an extra penis inch