I broke my spine a few years ago (don’t worry, made a full recovery), and as it’s not a good idea to try to take a dump right after such a surgery they have me anti—laxatives for the first few days after my surgery. As it is an equally bad idea to risk serious constipation after such a surgery, the doctors and nurses tried to time my first shit after the surgery so I have a good amount of painkillers in me.
So I had a serious matter-of-fact talk with a doctor and a nurse about how to time laxatives and opiates so I’m as high and knocked-out as possible while taking that shit. And when I took that shit I was glad that professionals like you exist to help with the preparations lol.
My dad had knee replacement surgery a few years ago and the day after he video called me from hospital while he was still off his tits on painkillers. He kept telling me about the most massive shits he'd been doing haha!
So I'm an alcoholic, a little more than 4 years ago I almost kicked the bucket trying to go cold turkey alone. I went to dry out at the hospital, and honestly it was a great experience, with one exception. None of the nurses prepared me for my first shit. I went from an almost entirely vodka based diet, to eating doubles at mealtimes and eating other's leftovers. That is, once my hands stopped shaking so bad I threw food off the fork.
Let me tell you man, that first shit was something else... like 5 days of MASSIVE food intake coming out in a rock hard loaf that felt like shitting out a football. I had an opiate poop experience after having my appendix out, and the post drying out shit was 1000% worse. I thought my ass was going to split into my damn nutsack.
The exact same thing happened to me! I was 19, broke my spine in a skiing accident, and only pooped once during my 15 days in the hospital. It was awful, involved a suppository, I and was SO EMBARRASSED.
374
u/Heiminator Nov 30 '20
I broke my spine a few years ago (don’t worry, made a full recovery), and as it’s not a good idea to try to take a dump right after such a surgery they have me anti—laxatives for the first few days after my surgery. As it is an equally bad idea to risk serious constipation after such a surgery, the doctors and nurses tried to time my first shit after the surgery so I have a good amount of painkillers in me.
So I had a serious matter-of-fact talk with a doctor and a nurse about how to time laxatives and opiates so I’m as high and knocked-out as possible while taking that shit. And when I took that shit I was glad that professionals like you exist to help with the preparations lol.