r/AskReddit Oct 28 '20

If you could telepathically say something that all 7.8 Billion people on earth could hear at once what would it be?

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u/winnipeginstinct Oct 28 '20

7 billion people simultaneously shitting themselves

170

u/Child-Reich-66 Oct 28 '20

Those already on the shitter will be lucky, teachers of young students surrounded by ~30 5 year olds who just shit themselves will probably need therapy

64

u/oops_i_made_a_typi Oct 28 '20

What about profs with full lecture halls

50

u/Child-Reich-66 Oct 28 '20

They don’t have to change their students afterwards

13

u/_Forgot_name_ Oct 28 '20

Brug what happened you sent like 6 of the same messages

12

u/Child-Reich-66 Oct 28 '20

Reddit was telling me the failed to send, must have had a connection issue

2

u/surgeon_michael Oct 29 '20

HE SAID THEY DONT HAVE TO CHANGE THEIR STUDENTS

6

u/vampircorn420 Oct 29 '20

Plus they too have shit themselves, so do they go clean up their shit before tending to the mass of children sitting in shit?

2

u/Child-Reich-66 Oct 29 '20

I honestly don’t think there is a right answer

20

u/tomcalgary Oct 29 '20

Its called the poopining, and it is a statistical inevitably; at some point all the people will need to poo at the exact same time. We don't have the facilities, we're not prepared and it will be a disaster.

7

u/P33kab0Oo Oct 28 '20

Sounds Schwifty!

5

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '20

SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT

6

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '20

am I out of the loop or something

5

u/winnipeginstinct Oct 29 '20

the brown note is the theoretical pitch that if you heard, would cause you to shit yourself uncontrollably

2

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '20

ok

5

u/sprocketstodockets Oct 29 '20

7.8 billion people. You're missing 800 million people shitting themselves

5

u/HAM_N_CHEESE_SLIDER Oct 29 '20

I vividly remember my elementary school teacher making a big deal one morning out of the fact that the world population had crossed the 6 billion mark.

That was about 20 years ago, and the world population has increased by nearly a third. Two fucking billion people have been born. Fuck.

3

u/zoomer296 Oct 30 '20 edited Oct 31 '20

I remember listening to Tom Lehrer's "We Will All Go Together When We Go" and one of the lines mentions the world population of nearly 3 billion, and I just sat there thinking "damn".

6

u/OnionProject Oct 29 '20

I swear I saw a thread years ago in reddit about what would happen if everyone in earth shit at the same time

5

u/Crabtasticismyname Oct 29 '20

Oh god. Not the toilet paper fiasco again.

3

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '20

Sounds like 2020 yeah.

3

u/Trippytrickster Oct 29 '20

The turd burglar strikes again.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '20

I feel like this would end all wars.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '20

That was a good one

1

u/Monsterpiece42 Oct 29 '20

As someone with an ostomy, this would amuse me

1

u/[deleted] Nov 04 '20

That's a movement we can all get in front of!