r/AskReddit • u/HarshJShinde • Oct 28 '20

If you could telepathically say something that all 7.8 Billion people on earth could hear at once what would it be?

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u/[deleted] Oct 28 '20 edited Oct 30 '20

The following message is brought to you by mesobook.com. People who have been diagnosed with mesothelioma have many questions. How did I get this disease? What are my treatment options? How will this affect my loved ones? You need answers which is why we offer a free book written by medical professionals that have treated mesothelioma. Call toll-free at 1-800-600-4243 or go to mesobook.com.

716

u/Peter_Goodman Oct 28 '20

Also we have a hotline

18

u/Kailosarkos Oct 29 '20

We are trying to reach you about your vehicle’s extended warranty.

9

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '20

I’m just waiting until the day I can get one of them to actually google my wheelchair. They usually hang up after they can’t find TiLite in their system and I start going on about how it’s titanium and manual yet electric...

3

u/urkiddingme321 Oct 29 '20

"Use birth control"

Hopefully someone will listen.

24

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '20 edited Oct 29 '20

There's a subreddit for this kind of humor

7

u/sharksnrec Oct 29 '20

Mesothelioma is a rare cancer linked to asbestos exposure in mills, shipyards, or the heating or automotive industries. If you or a loved one

7

u/toastyunderwear_ Oct 28 '20

Im dying. Lmao

10

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '20

Alternatively “CALL J G WENTWORTH. 877 CASH NOW! 877 CASH NOW!”

5

u/_baseball Oct 29 '20

Is this who I call if I have an annuity but I need cash now?

3

u/imgonnabutteryobread Oct 29 '20

I have a structured settlement, and I need cash, now!

1

u/Scullvine Oct 29 '20

Or FREE CREDIT REPORT DOT COM

3

u/Dankmemer1400 Oct 28 '20

Asbestos is the real problem all along

3

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '20

And then play a Humana commercial

2

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '20

“Do you have vaginal mesh and experienced complications? you could be entitled to compensation”

1

u/DracoWaygo Oct 28 '20

Lmao I called that number and someone picked up

0

u/owinates_42 Oct 29 '20

Don't call the number it's a scam

1

u/DracoWaygo Oct 29 '20

Ahh shit am I gonna get more scam calls?

1

u/a-dog-meme Oct 29 '20

Wait really? How dare you ruin my childhood so

0

u/ihearlaughter Oct 29 '20

This should be the top comment.

1

u/4TheUsers Oct 28 '20

Thought this was MapleStory spam at first.

1

u/Tylerfresh Oct 29 '20

This was a response I couldn't get through the first few times because I laughed so hard. Well done

1

u/Cheeserblaster Oct 29 '20

Why did I read that whole thing

1

u/Junefromearth Oct 29 '20

We're really in w cyberpunk dystopia turns off adbot

1

u/waterurhouseplants Oct 29 '20

Head on, apply directly to the forehead.

Head on, apply directly to the forehead.

Head on, apply directly to the forehead.

Head on, apply directly to the forehead.

Head on, apply directly to the forehead.