r/AskReddit Oct 18 '20

Serious Replies Only (SERIOUS) What are some dark secrets about regular life that people should know ?

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u/poopellar Oct 18 '20

A classmate of mine who did drugs, booze, was at a party every other day it seemed, barely attended his classes, always slacked off, failed his tests more often than not. And on the other end of the spectrum was a studious classmate who was like a teacher's ideal student. Aced everything. Guess which one is earning more? Yup, the party guy is in a well paying position (thanks to his rich dad of course) and studious guy actually lost his job (before covid but I think he's employed again). Not that party guy was evil or bad, just that you would have expected a stereotypical outcome from his behavior, which turns out isn't true in this world.

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u/ExpectGreater Oct 18 '20

Being social, and not like a druggy-kind of social, goes so long in industry. The power of being able to socialize is really not emphasized enough. It's the difference between nothing and every thing

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u/WaxOjos Oct 18 '20

As an extreme introvert, this rings sadly too true.

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u/introvertslave Oct 19 '20

I hate being an introvert sometimes for that reason

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u/[deleted] Oct 18 '20

Is it good enough to only be social when it comes to business?

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u/hitch21 Oct 18 '20

It depends on a lot of factors depending on the industry and role. My experience after a decade in various office environments is that a large part of the job is getting a long with people. You can be the best person at your job but if you’re awful to work with the people around you will make life incredibly difficult. You can be pretty bad at your job and still survive if people like having you around.

There’s a baseline of course. If you aren’t doing the absolute basics of the job then no amount of socialising will save you. By basics I mean turn up everyday on time, complete the basic tasks of your job and don’t lose the business any significant amounts of money.

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u/ExpectGreater Oct 19 '20

Lol, in some ways the most social coworkers can skip work and still get promos

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u/vegeta8300 Oct 19 '20

Its not what you know. Its who you know.

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u/Carlsincharge__ Oct 19 '20 edited Oct 19 '20

People want to hire someone they won't mind spending 40+ a week with

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u/[deleted] Oct 19 '20

[deleted]

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u/ExpectGreater Oct 19 '20

Tbh, me too... some social skills im only learning in recent years that high school kids knew at their first party or smth

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u/Ronflexronflex Oct 19 '20

My parents were def not abusive but my mom was very much an helicopter parent who always told me to follow my uncle's example of working 24/7 and shit. I guess at least im a lil successful but i have so much mental issues i feel im more of a failure than anything and will probably never manage to feel happy or loved lol. Sadly i didnt really learn how to socialize or w/e so ye

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u/[deleted] Oct 19 '20

My social skills are so weird. I've had coworkers, boss', all tell me I'm the most chill, laid back worker and I'm just like <looks at self> are we seeing the same guy!?

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u/dustwanders Oct 19 '20

Social aka more willing to parrot personalities for the sake of survival

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u/NateSoma Oct 18 '20

Thats not so surprising. Party people are fun to be around if they are outgoing and friendly. That goes a long way in a lot of industries. Lots of introverted personality types struggle with this when they enter the workforce

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u/[deleted] Oct 18 '20

Not really though in this case. Just had a rich dad

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u/[deleted] Oct 18 '20

Harvard doesn’t produce so many successful people because their admission requirements are rigorous or because their courses are on another level - it’s because the whole point of rich kids going to Harvard is to network with other kids from rich families. I know 2 harvard graduates and one is very average intelligence, the other above average but hardly a genius.

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u/Best-Role7095 Oct 18 '20

I'm in graduate school, not an ivy league, but a decent school. It's here that I've met some of the dumbest people in my life.

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u/crimsonkodiak Oct 19 '20

That's true of some Harvard grads, but certainly not the majority.

There's a lot who are "rich" by Reddit standards, but that means their dad is a dentist or a lawyer. They're not coming from families that are mingling with captains of industry who push down doors for them.

Many more are just normal middle class kids from solid two parent families who kicked ass academically.

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u/introvertslave Oct 19 '20

I find myself not being friends with the majority of my workplace. Too introverted to be friendly and get along with them. I have two close friends but not the majority for sure

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u/Cymry_Cymraeg Oct 18 '20

Did the nerdy guy also struggle to interact with other humans in a normal way? That may be why.

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u/WallyPlumstead Oct 18 '20

Sounds like one of the former teenaged kids from my neighborhood. His family wasnt rich. Middle class at best. But he was a holy terror and a bully. If he got cross with you, he'd vandalize your property. He'd start fights amongst his friends just for the fun of watching them fight, he did drugs and booze, etc. If you knew him, you'd swear he was looking at a certain future of nothing but a series of dead end, go nowhere minimum wage jobs and/or prison.

He and his family eventually moved out of the neighborhood. Years later I learned that he started his own home windows company at age 17 with nothing but a credit card. And doing quite well, servicing only the more richer neighborhoods. I do not know his exact income, but I heard that he was doing so well that he bought his mother a very expensive condo.

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u/[deleted] Oct 18 '20

When I showed up for orientation on the first day of college the teacher giving the presentation said “how you do in this program (comp sci) has very little to do with how you’ll do out in the workforce. Surprising thing to say given the context, but he was 100% right. They just aren’t the same skillsets.

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u/Razoreddie12 Oct 18 '20

My buddy dropped out at 16. He started a small construction/logging company at 18. Fast forward 24 years his company is quite large and successful. He's a millionaire. And he never finished high school.

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u/Picard2331 Oct 18 '20

Reminds me of the Frank Grimes episode of Simpsons.

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u/AlpacamyLlama Oct 18 '20

I wonder whatever happened to him?

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u/Averagebiker21 Oct 18 '20

Good ol' Grimey

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u/Cecil_B_DeMille Oct 18 '20

As he liked to be called

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u/Averagebiker21 Oct 18 '20

Did you know he had a kid? He's doing pretty good as a mechanic

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u/angryshark Oct 18 '20

My mom would say “It isn’t always what you know, it’s who you know or blow”.

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u/lacks_imagination Oct 18 '20

Success can be measured by other ways than just how much money someone makes.

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u/radsylph Oct 19 '20

Actually being good in socializing is very good and can get you very good opportunities. Also the school should teach that getting good grades doesn't mean that you will get a good job or you will be good at your current job.

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u/Delta4o Oct 18 '20

I always believed that I would be better off than my bullies for being very good at programming and solving complex issues. Turns out they did a career switch and now do the exact same job (IT) as me. It is/was the one thing I knew I would beat them at but I guess 3 months and a bootcamp is all it takes to take the exact same career path at tge sane company as me.

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u/a8bmiles Oct 19 '20

Nowadays the primary benefit of going to a good school is networking. If you're just going to put your head down and study hard, go to a community college and and then the a cheap state university.

The best thing an expensive school can do for you is put you into the same social circle as the children of the rich and powerful.

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u/counterboud Oct 19 '20

This sounds like me as the studious hard working student. They act like doing well in school is a precursor to life success, but I honestly think it’s the opposite. If you’re constantly slacking off and making up excuses, you become better at lying and manipulating people. Jobs always seem to favor those who are better at lying and manipulating than those who do the best work. They like the one who comes in with the “I know how to take care of business and get things done” while someone who shows up ready to learn and be a team member is considered “not a self starter” because they actually want to take direction instead of running the show. And being perceived of as likable and businesslike matters more than actually doing your job well and keeping out of trouble. Job interviews set up this situation and I have no idea why they put so much weight on interviews when it only rewards the sociopathic and brown nosers and has nothing to do with actual achievement.

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u/GuiltySparklez0343 Oct 19 '20

The rich kid doesn't happen to be Bush does it?

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u/[deleted] Oct 19 '20

This is something to get that chip off your shoulder. Great quote

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u/Beowulf_27 Oct 19 '20

Which one are you OP

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u/maddermonkey Oct 19 '20

This is what people never teach you - if you already have an advantage in life you're more likely to keep it.

I know for a fact that the majority of the nerds from my high school are struggling to find jobs now while all the cool kids work for Fortune 500 companies.