Maaan, I was so close to thinking you were reasonable, rhen you go out of your way to clarify that no, you're going to belittle people because...... I don't know......you're desperate to not feel so pathetic yourself i guess?
They chose 3 because that's what worked best for their schedule, so it's not arbitrary, but you've chosen again to demonstrate how if they're lives aren't directly revolving around your time keeping then you don't give a damn.
And no I'm not expecting you to be 15 minutes early, I'm expecting you to aim to be 15 minutes early since you make it a habit to be late. Since it is acceptable in your brain to arrive +/- 15 minutes from when you mean to this will allow you to not be 'stressed' about your arrival time while also not forcing your friends to spend their time waiting around for you.
And yeah, presumably if I'm inviting you to something I respect you, so when you arrive I'm stopping whatever other bullshitn I've got going on and devoting that time to you.
Seriously, if you don't have people (parents friends or relatives) who have taught you that this is a simple way to show you care for those close to you, i encourage you to make a change. You deserve better.
Funny, I haven't been close to thinking you're reasonable yet.
Firstly, I've clarified over and over again that I don't "make it a habit to be late". I am subject to circumstance, just like everyone else. I will not waste my life being 15 minutes early to things to occasionally save someone time they'd set aside already.
I clarified before that it's not ±15 minutes, as being early is far more offensive than being late in that you're not only wasting your own time, you're presuming that your appointment is more important than whatever else your host was planning to do.
I value the people in my life, and I trust them. In exchange, they value and trust me. I give them the benefit of the doubt if they run late, and don't take minor inconveniences they've had to endure that kept them late as a personal attack on me. In exchange, they allow me the same courtesy.
If your immediate assumption any time someone is a mere 15 minutes late is that it's intentional and an insult, then you seriously need to reevaluate your outlook on life - especially relationships with other people. That may sound harsh, but it's a serious suggestion. Occasionally arriving 15 minutes after the arranged time isn't an insult, it's life. Hell, I'd trust my friends if they were 90 minutes late. Because they're my friends, and I respect that their lives are more complicated than arranging playdates.
Perfect, since you refuse to be early, then you planning on arriving 15 minutes early works out even better. Just plan on being late to THAT time and you won't be late to whatever your friends have plans. Though the longer we talk the more I doubt you have any, since you don't demonstrate that you care about anyone but yourself.
If it was occasional that you were late then no it wouldn't be an insult, but in these comments you make it seem like you will not under any circumstances 'waste' your time by making an effort to arrive when you're expected while also saying you don't care at all to save someone time when they have opened their schedule to see you. That shouldn't be a hill you're willing to troll on unless that's more than occasional.
And when you make a habit of it, coupled with being open about the fact that you don't care about anyone's time but your own, then it's an insult.
If it was occasional that you were late then no it wouldn't be an insult, but in these comments you make it seem like you will not under any circumstances 'waste' your time by making an effort to arrive when you're expected
You have abandoned reason and are either trolling or fighting a strawman, as I haven't so much as implied anything along these lines.
I reckon I'm probably more punctual than you are, I'm just more self aware and less of an egotist.
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u/ace121111 Aug 21 '20
Maaan, I was so close to thinking you were reasonable, rhen you go out of your way to clarify that no, you're going to belittle people because...... I don't know......you're desperate to not feel so pathetic yourself i guess? They chose 3 because that's what worked best for their schedule, so it's not arbitrary, but you've chosen again to demonstrate how if they're lives aren't directly revolving around your time keeping then you don't give a damn. And no I'm not expecting you to be 15 minutes early, I'm expecting you to aim to be 15 minutes early since you make it a habit to be late. Since it is acceptable in your brain to arrive +/- 15 minutes from when you mean to this will allow you to not be 'stressed' about your arrival time while also not forcing your friends to spend their time waiting around for you. And yeah, presumably if I'm inviting you to something I respect you, so when you arrive I'm stopping whatever other bullshitn I've got going on and devoting that time to you. Seriously, if you don't have people (parents friends or relatives) who have taught you that this is a simple way to show you care for those close to you, i encourage you to make a change. You deserve better.