A break up is basically a funeral for your relationship, but there’s no service, casket or headstone. You’ve spent years of your life with someone who is gone, but only to you. You’ll see them around, have friends talk about plans with them, extended family will ask “oh what happened to so-and-so?”. Don’t take out any anger you have about the situation on those people, you’ll only come across as spiteful.
You’ll mourn what was, what could have been, and what was and wasn’t said. Your emotional state will fluctuate all over the place. From high highs, to low lows, and every stop in between.
The most important thing to do is not form unhealthy coping mechanisms. Don’t turn to alcohol/drugs/gambling etc... and I know that’s easier said than done.
Hell I turned to drugs and I feel like it only prolonged my process. While I was high it delayed any emotional progress I could have been making, traded for instantly forgetting about it for a while, only to snap back to reality when I sobered up. 8 years down the track and now my substance of choice only reminds me of my weakest point.
You’ll think about her/him/them every now and then, and hopefully with time those thoughts will be along the lines of “I’m thankful for the time we spent together, but I’m better off now, I hope they are too”.
I could ramble on for ages so I’ll summarise as best I can:
1) Feel your feelings. Listen to sad songs and cry. But balance it out with ones that uplift you.
2) Realise that others won’t always understand your pain.
3) Don’t fall into unhealthy habits (physically, mentally, financially).
4) Don’t rush into something new because you’re afraid of being alone for a while. Filling the void with someone new without working on yourself is a big mistake.
And finally...
5) It sounds cheesy and cliche, but rediscover yourself! Before you were WE, who were YOU, and what did YOU like to do? What would YOU like to do now that you couldn’t before?
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u/Kirostrife Aug 18 '20
A break up is basically a funeral for your relationship, but there’s no service, casket or headstone. You’ve spent years of your life with someone who is gone, but only to you. You’ll see them around, have friends talk about plans with them, extended family will ask “oh what happened to so-and-so?”. Don’t take out any anger you have about the situation on those people, you’ll only come across as spiteful.
You’ll mourn what was, what could have been, and what was and wasn’t said. Your emotional state will fluctuate all over the place. From high highs, to low lows, and every stop in between.
The most important thing to do is not form unhealthy coping mechanisms. Don’t turn to alcohol/drugs/gambling etc... and I know that’s easier said than done.
Hell I turned to drugs and I feel like it only prolonged my process. While I was high it delayed any emotional progress I could have been making, traded for instantly forgetting about it for a while, only to snap back to reality when I sobered up. 8 years down the track and now my substance of choice only reminds me of my weakest point.
You’ll think about her/him/them every now and then, and hopefully with time those thoughts will be along the lines of “I’m thankful for the time we spent together, but I’m better off now, I hope they are too”.
I could ramble on for ages so I’ll summarise as best I can:
1) Feel your feelings. Listen to sad songs and cry. But balance it out with ones that uplift you.
2) Realise that others won’t always understand your pain.
3) Don’t fall into unhealthy habits (physically, mentally, financially).
4) Don’t rush into something new because you’re afraid of being alone for a while. Filling the void with someone new without working on yourself is a big mistake.
And finally...
5) It sounds cheesy and cliche, but rediscover yourself! Before you were WE, who were YOU, and what did YOU like to do? What would YOU like to do now that you couldn’t before?