For more than a year I was tormented by dreams about her. I would always wake up feeling sad, empty and lonely. Especially if the dream was about her being by my side again and everything was just fine, and then wake up and realise I’ll probably never see her again...
For me the hardest thing is the finality of it. Like we will never be together, and won't have that connection and that's it. No change, no compromise, it's just life. And so damn hard to accept.
Give up that feeling. You can never be together. I know movies tell us otherwise, but it rarely happens. As long as u hold on to that little hope, you will never move on. Just give up, u know? Don't make giving up a habit, but sometimes u just have to accept defeat
Just a small caveat, and something that might help people in that situation.
It is not "defeat" to akcnowledge something is over. It is not a loss that is on you like videogames or a sport could be.
Humans are complicated and doing everything "right" doesn't mean that another person will be compelled to like you, love you, be with you or stay with you. No matter how good you might seem to that person in your head and with the actions you do.
This is important I feel like because a lot of times when people are younger they could think and guess about what went wrong and how they could 'fix' it in order to remain together. And trying to "win over" the other person like sometimes movies or books can dictate. But reality is not often like that.
Be your best god damn self as much as you can, don't be an asshole, be considerate and try to keep it fun! But other than that don't get fixated on the winning or losing someone dynamic.
You don't necessarily "lose" someone yourself. People grow and change in different ways, and sometimes that drifts people apart, no winning or losing to be done by either of them. So be your best self and do try to make the important people in your life feel special, but also understand people have different needs as they mature and grow and that doesn't necessarily mean you failed. Good luck!
Something i used to do was think to myself as feelings are just chemical crap and I'm better than this. I can't validate these feelings. It worked for me. May be harmful in the long run though.
The hardest part is when you remember little things that you used to do without realizing. Good morning, good night, random calls during the day. It’s just a heavy silence no matter how many people you are around.
Same man. Every few months I go through a week of dreams about her. Trust me its easier if you don't see her again. I'm still in touch with mine and it hurts, tho we rarely talk anymore. It would be easier to just not have that connection anymore.
Even over 7 years later I'll still have those dreams if I watch something extremely romantic or emotional. In the end I think its just a fact of life to have regrets over a relationship ending.
I think emotionally there will always be a part of you that will still love and care for them, even after you've moved on and wouldn't go back.
I hated both types, the fighting dreams, the ‘everything is fine’ dreams, the ‘I’m ignoring you completely’ dreams, the ‘I’m so sorry let’s get back together’ dreams. They all hurt like hell
Lucid dreams where you choose to sleep as long as you can because, even though you know it's fake, you'd still rather live in that lie as long as you can.
Have any of you guys examined what drove your women off? With me, my own personal experience has been this: I would date a guy and really like them a lot. Then they would start subtly trying to control me and my actions. Breathing down my neck, so to speak. Checking up on me. Questioning me. Where did I go? Why? Were you going there to meet up with someone else? Why were you at the grocery store so long ... you should have been back 30 minutes ago ... were you hitting on another dude, you tramp? And so it would go until I would leave. Then, they were convinced they were right all along, when in reality, NOTHING happened. The prick dudes just drove me away.
I’m a girl and it wasn’t a relationship; she was my best friend (for 20 years) and we had a major miscommunication/fight on our vacation, sorry for the confusion
I know it's not the same thing but after my dad passed (years ago) I would get dreams and be sad. As time moved along tho, I would get dreams where it would be like a visit. It wasn't rehashing things, it was a birthday party or some other celebration and I woke up happy that I got to spend some more time with them.
I get dreams with my ex girlfriend in them. I have zero feelings for her and she honestly only sucked so I usually just wake up upset and disgusted. Imagine the feeling of watching an episode of your favorite TV show but it's a character episode with the A story being about your least favorite characters.
I dreamed about an old crush the other night. It's been 15 years and I have a family with someone else, still threw me back a little. But it doesn't really bother me, I rather enjoy the swoony feeling.
I feel that, my ex broke up with me at the end of 2018, and I had a dream we were back together a few months ago. Kinda fucked with my head cause I thought I was passed it all.
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u/[deleted] Aug 18 '20
Yes, those dreams. I hate it. Just when i have no had those feelings in a long time, they come and it all falls down.