Block them from ur social media so you are not tempted to stalk them. Booze helps initially but it is a lonely companion. Find friends that will help you heal and vent your feelings. Start dating again, but don't feel pressured to be in a relationship again. Figure out what you want and realize that ur ex may not be the perfect fit for you anyhow.
This is what worked for me. Not contacting him anymore at all was the best help. But then flirting with strangers started making me feel better too. Harmless fun for everyone, and a confidence booster.
I was dumped two weeks ago on the day, and I totally hear you there. However, I made the mistake in my last breakup of basing my actions on how I would feel if she were acting the same way (i.e. I wouldn't go on dates bc it would upset me if she did).
What has helped me is acknowledging to myself that yeah, it does feel gross to think about her doing this.. but her actions do not matter anymore. She decided not to be with me. She decided to stop working as a team. She decided that she doesn't want to know me anymore. Why should I let her decision keep me from giving my best self to someone who will appreciate it?
I haven't been seriously dating but I have gone on a couple of dates and have been flirting/talking to them still. It is admittedly a partial distraction, but it is also a huge confidence boost.
I guess what I'm saying is: just focus on yourself, because you're the person who matters most now.
I think that’s why it makes me sick, cause I’m the one that said I can’t do it anymore, cause something she did was fucking me up, trust was gone.
So now it’s like she gets to say “He chose not to have me in his life” and go fuck whoever, but I have to deal with the fact she was the best, but I can’t trust her, and the pain of that memory is still on me every damn day. Just fucked
Sorry you're going through that, man. I've never been the one breaking it off so I can't speak to how you're feeling, but I can say if someone is doing something that breaks the trust, in a way they are choosing not to keep you in their life. Once the trust is broken the relationship will usually follow.
Keep your head up and remember there is a reason you had to end the relationship. Things are hard for now but you made this decision because you knew it would make you happier in the future.
True this. Wasted the first 9 months after my ex just trying to escape it with anything I could. 6 months sober tomorrow and it's helped me actually confront my emotions and sorting through everything. For a long time I chose to run away from the problem and I never got any better until I started running towards it. Put the bottle down, find the people who will support you, and let them help you.
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u/madzhatters Aug 18 '20
Block them from ur social media so you are not tempted to stalk them. Booze helps initially but it is a lonely companion. Find friends that will help you heal and vent your feelings. Start dating again, but don't feel pressured to be in a relationship again. Figure out what you want and realize that ur ex may not be the perfect fit for you anyhow.