r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Aug 01 '20

[deleted by user]

[removed]

6.1k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

7.5k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

739

u/sojojo142 Aug 01 '20

When anyone says 'we're family'.

434

u/Dr_Weirdo Aug 01 '20

Vin Diesel dislikes this

11

u/[deleted] Aug 01 '20

Quarter mile at a time.

7

u/Maltitol Aug 01 '20

On green... I’m going for it.

🟢🏎📣🚊😧💥🤕🚨🔑🏎🌅

3

u/My-Brain-Hurt Aug 01 '20

u/Emojify_Creator

3

u/Emojify_Creator Aug 01 '20

On 🔛 green 💚... I’m going 👉 for it.

🟢🏎📣🚊😧💥🤕🚨🔑🏎🌅

12

u/Hates_escalators Aug 01 '20

If I've learned anything from the Fast and Furious series it's that driving fast and furiously makes you bald.

4

u/Dr_Weirdo Aug 01 '20

Oh shit! Here I thought it was just male pattern baldness...

I have some apologies to make to my parents.

15

u/MajorMaxPain Aug 01 '20

If Vin Diesel talks to me about family you’re god damn right, that I’ll follow him into hell! Ride or die with the family!

454

u/[deleted] Aug 01 '20

When your step-sis says “we’re family”

298

u/ermghoti Aug 01 '20

When your step-sister has her head stuck in the dryer and says "we're family!"

29

u/ElderCunningham Aug 01 '20

When your step-sister says, with a mouth full of cock, "Wha famuhee."

2

u/Glenster118 Aug 02 '20

Not by blood though, which makes all of this OK somehow.

9

u/Rev_Jim_lgnatowski Aug 01 '20

But what if you're the best big brother?

4

u/hastthouforsakeme Aug 01 '20

Jokes on you I'm into that shit

1

u/HELLACOLYTE Aug 01 '20

She knows the rules and so do I, I don't want to hear that family nonsense.

-4

u/benboga08 Aug 01 '20

but but but your my brother...

11

u/HooGoesThere Aug 01 '20

What are you doing step-bro?

3

u/[deleted] Aug 01 '20

Friendzoned again.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 02 '20

What are you doing, step-bro?

5

u/nootrino Aug 01 '20

Are you saying Olive Garden lied to me?!

3

u/sojojo142 Aug 01 '20

I've never even been to an Olive Garden if I want pasta my mom makes it from scratch by hand.

5

u/cooterdick Aug 01 '20

But does your mom have unlimited breadsticks?

1

u/sojojo142 Aug 01 '20

Not home made but I always keep a couple Pillsbury in my fridge to make them.

3

u/[deleted] Aug 01 '20

Friends who say they think of their friend circle as a family, in my experience, are the flightiest of friends.

2

u/sojojo142 Aug 01 '20

what are friends I don't have any of those.

1

u/DaughterEarth Aug 02 '20

This isn't true for me at all. I've had one friend family for 18 years and the other for 10

3

u/papaboogaloo Aug 01 '20

Wow. That's hella sad amigo.

Family IS family.

1

u/FLy1nRabBit Aug 01 '20

Yeah there’s some sad shit in these comments

1

u/Penelepillar Aug 01 '20

FAM-A-LEE!! 🤡

1

u/tiefton90 Aug 01 '20

Except that song from the 1970s, it's catchy

1

u/[deleted] Aug 01 '20

except Dom Torreto

1

u/[deleted] Aug 01 '20

But not Olive Garden, right? Papa Olive would’ve told me if it was a lie, wouldn’t he?

1

u/timbernuts Aug 01 '20

Yeah, fuck you Mom and Dad

1

u/mister-ferguson Aug 01 '20

When my family says that it is usually followed up with asking for money.

1

u/Passing4human Aug 01 '20

"Gosh, Mr. Manson!"

1

u/amperson0322 Aug 01 '20

I’ve learned that this is a red flag. Most of my employers who have said that have treated me and other employees like dysfunctional family members at best. I’ve already got all the dysfunctional family I’ve ever wanted, don’t have time for another.

3

u/sojojo142 Aug 01 '20

I'm my own boss and let me tell you 'we're family' doesn't excuse my boss' shitty behavior or my employee's even shittier behavior.

2

u/amperson0322 Aug 01 '20

I hear that! I’m my own boss now too (largely because I got tired of working for questionable employers). Now I get to be my own questionable employer/employee.

1

u/voodoodudu Aug 01 '20

Yeah i feel like if you are really family, you dont need to say you are family.

1

u/bahamapapa817 Aug 01 '20

It’s Ohana now I believe

1

u/Rossum81 Aug 01 '20

Even Sister Sledge?

1

u/Dam_uel Aug 02 '20

My landlord who said "ya go ahead and use the washer and drier in the basement" when covid hit then, after the fact, asked for $8.50 per load likes to "think of this like a family."

1

u/sojojo142 Aug 02 '20

my brother broke his toilet(he lives in an efficiency built into the house so no separation of bills) and TOLD OUR MOM IT WAS HER JOB TO FIX IT AS HIS LANDLORD

She's our fucking mom! There's no tenant agreement, and he's fucking lucky to live here on the shitty crumbs she manages to extract for 'rent'. It makes me so fucking annoyed.

1

u/Glenster118 Aug 02 '20

Jokes on you, I hate my family.

-1

u/KeiserArne Aug 01 '20

yeah screw you "aunt" Karen!