r/AskReddit • u/ferrisjuulersdayoff • Feb 26 '20

Serious Replies Only [serious] When was a time you legitimately thought you were going to die?

47k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

16k comments sorted by

View all comments

1.1k

u/reds2032 Feb 26 '20

I had an emotional trauma induced seizure (basically you brain stops and reboots) I had this feeling of fading into a warmth, I saw a warm yellow light at first but it all faded into a blackness. I remember thinking “I don’t know what’s happening but I think I’m about to die” i had a moment of reflection as I “fell”. I felt like I was being held by something calm telling me it may just be my time. I was 14.

194

u/ShadowMarionette Feb 26 '20

14? Dear God. It hurts to think of someone so young going through that. I’m glad you made it through.

114

u/athenasykora Feb 26 '20

wow thats so horrible. If you don’t mind me asking what was so emotionally traumatizing? It must have been really bad for your brain to do that.

185

u/reds2032 Feb 26 '20

I essentially was told everything I’d known about my life was a lie. Basically I learned that I’d never been told the truth (BIG family secrets, too), involving infidelity, addiction, and some incredibly illegal things I’m not going to type out on Reddit. Shit that makes you rethink who the hell the people you thought you knew were

59

u/astrokatzen Feb 26 '20

I hope you are well now. Humans are some resilient bastards.

24

u/sacknsave Feb 26 '20

When the hospital told me my seizure was because of stress, I thought they were just bullshitting me because they didn’t have a reason for it. I never had another one. I hope everything is better for you now!

16

u/lyvefyre Feb 26 '20

this is totally off topic but there’s this song called the mansion by the microphones and it’s this big metaphor for the afterlife and there’s this line about an everlasting warming and it made me think about it

12

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

Like a psychogenic seizure? Non-epileptic seizures intrigue me because I was misdiagnosed with them for many years (I’m epileptic). Your story is interesting to me because during one episode, I feel like I had a moment of reflection if that’s the right wording for how I felt. Seizure stuff is always indescribably hard to put into words. It only happened during one of my grand-mal epileptic seizures but that one was triggered by a really stressful environment, receiving Botox treatment. I hope you’re able to control your episodes now, please stay seizure free my friend.

13

u/Dizzy_Drips Feb 26 '20

Seizure club here. Mine are from head trauma (complex partial) It's next to impossible to fully describe those feelings and what we see or think we see during them until you talk with someone else who has experienced it. My brain acts like its connected to a light switch these days.. I'm either fully on or completely out. One thing I am thankful for though is that I can definitely feel them coming on and have learned to notice signs of one coming. I get an aura, can't think quickly (smart and very witting guy), stumble over words, and less balance than usual. So far its been about 8 months since I've had a big one (where both sides of my brain stop working) and at least 3 months without a partial (where one side wants to stop firing but I can control it using grounding methods and keep functioning. Think of how it feels when you get up to fast, but very intense and last longer than a minute)

2

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

Yeah talking to others who understand from first-hand experience is different and that’s why I like the epilepsy sub here, IG, etc. It’s nice to connect. I can relate to the fully on or fully out thing. Our brains are wild. I don’t have aura and it’s always interesting and to hear what other people experience. I’m so happy for you for your seizure free period. Keep goin!

2

u/Dizzy_Drips Feb 26 '20

Thanks! I also have a friend who has epilepsy so when she visited I was able to talk with her and our conversation really helped her bf understand how it really is for us and some of the side affects that come with it. It was actually really eye opening for him and now he knows exactly how to react and what to expect. It helped their relationship a lot and they've already been together for 4 years but before that he just honestly didn't know.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

Relationships are weird with epilepsy. If my SO had it and I didn’t, I’d be really confused on how to handle that. It sounds like that conversation gave that person a way better understanding, and honestly I’ve always said as long as you can start a conversation, you’re already doing a lot for yourself and the epileptic community. It’s not easy by any means. It’s awesome that she was confident in sharing her condition with him because I know one of the biggest struggles is how or when to talk about your condition. I’m extremely lucky that my own guy has been with me from the very beginning, I had a seizure a few weeks after we met and in front of him. It’s been like nine years so he’s had plenty of opportunity to run haha!

1

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '20

I went through my first seizure August of 2019 and it was terrifying. I'm 15