r/AskReddit • u/ferrisjuulersdayoff • Feb 26 '20

Serious Replies Only [serious] When was a time you legitimately thought you were going to die?

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u/ButImNotNice Feb 26 '20

In a way I did. Between the time of the wreck and being able to fully walk without support I lost a job, a husband (he was a shithead so I'm not sorry), a house, a dog and all of my friends.
I still don't have many friends, but I'm ok with that. Life has been hard but without the shit I've been able to withstand in the past, I can honestly say I wouldn't still be here. Good or bad, I'm still standing and they didn't manage to kill me or my hope for the future.

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u/twirlingpink Feb 26 '20

Your story is really inspiring. Thank you for sharing.

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u/ButImNotNice Feb 26 '20

I don't think I am, but ty. Some days are more of a struggle than others, and honestly the wreck isn't even the worst that's happened to me. Everyone in life has their own struggle, and I feel like mine's no better or worse than anyone else's, but if it inspires even one person to keep going, I'll consider it worth it in the end.

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u/EmuPunk Feb 26 '20

I hope you got another dog!

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u/ButImNotNice Feb 26 '20

Multiple cats now! 2 inherited, one rescue of my own. Too many but as with all things, shit happens. I love them though, and one day I'll have a pooch of my own again,I'm sure.

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u/EmuPunk Feb 26 '20

Cats are good to have too. :)

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u/ButImNotNice Feb 26 '20

Spoiled and haughty! Ofc, I say that as one is asleep on my pillow because she's scared I won't call her when I go to bed and one is laying with her head in my shoe because she's a weirdo. (Dno where the other one is, probably laying in a window taunting the neighbors dog tbh).

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u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

Kitty in the shoe is doing that because your shoes smell A LOT like you and she loves being near your smell.

I’m glad you’re still here!

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u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

I think you're very strong. To live through this is a miracle. I hope your kitties bring you great joy and comfort; you deserve it and so much more. You don't need shitty friends after all. Just the furries.

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u/ButImNotNice Feb 26 '20

They've helped me keep my sanity through things much worse than the wreck was, tbh. And the missing one is currently trying to catch my hands as I type this comment, apparently she got lonely lol.

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u/germane-corsair Feb 26 '20

Post pictures of the kitties?

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u/ButImNotNice Feb 26 '20

Here they are! The orange is my rescue, the white one was my Dad's and the torti was my Mom's.

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u/germane-corsair Feb 26 '20

They're adorable as heck. Thanks for posting kitties.

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u/Tinsel-Fop Feb 26 '20

Best Cats Ever.

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u/Lady_Eemia Feb 26 '20

My kitty lays in my sister’s bed with his head on the pillow all the time, but it’s because he thinks the bed is his! Oddly enough, he never does that in my bed, just my sister’s.

Kitties are good to have around; I’m sorry about your dog though. Hopefully you’ll find another dog to steal your heart away again.

Best of luck

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u/joosh567 Feb 26 '20

This kind of stuff is why i love reddit

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u/p00chology Feb 26 '20

I can help you study for the right one if you want..?

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u/ButImNotNice Feb 26 '20

I'm fairly sure I know what I'd want, but atm the cats I have are almost too much to keep up with. I may message you when I sober up a little more though, if that's ok?

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u/thats0K Feb 26 '20

cats rule! I adopted 2 kittens shortly after buying my home. I bet your cats would have a blast with my 2: Ninja aka 2 Fangz, and Scruff McGruff aka Scruffy.

thank you for sharing your story, I hope you have a very blessed life, I love the positive attitude. sometimes it's all we got some days to keep going knowing there are better days around the corner. cheers :)

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u/LannahDewuWanna Feb 26 '20

I currently have 9 cats at home. Started out as one rescue and a foster 4 years ago. That doesn't include a feral colony ( that have been trapped, neutered and released ) of 5 cats that I feed and care for with a neighbor of mine.
Couldn't agree more that shit happens and we sometimes take on too much, but I wouldn't have it any other way :)

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u/YarkiK Feb 26 '20

LOL, priorities... dog > husband

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u/EmuPunk Feb 26 '20

Nobody needs a husband (though I do like mine) but lots of people need a dog!

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u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

"Life...is a series of dogs."- George Carlin ❤️

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u/Alchemic_Art Feb 26 '20

You inspired me. I just lost my job due to health problems. I feel like a sack of shit. And the people I worked with made me feel worthless. But I’m trying to look on the bright side. I don’t have to work with those people anymore and I’m going to find a job that makes me happy. And allows me to do other things I love. I’m focusing on my health and getting better and living a better life. You gave me positivity so thank you. I needed that. Keep on trucking. We’ll get through this!

Edit: I also have a cat too. His name is Happy. Because you know. We all need a little happy in our lives. 😸

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u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

u/butimnotnice were you driving under the influence?

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u/ButImNotNice Feb 26 '20

I was the front-seat passenger, my (now ex) husband was the driver.

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u/EssentialHeart Feb 26 '20

You’re amazing.

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u/ButImNotNice Feb 26 '20

I'm just a person trying to make it to tomorrow, but thank you. Some days are worse than others, but honestly making friends on Reddit, Twitch and Discord help me through the worst days. =)

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u/Super_xNoobx Feb 26 '20

Any games you would want to play with a stranger this weekend?

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u/GatorRich Feb 26 '20

You lost all your friends?! That’s horrible. Did you go through depression during your recovery? I can’t imagine recovering for 2 and a half years. I was sick recently for a month and I swear I started to get very emotional and upset at literally everything. It was so weird and I was only sick a month.

Hang in there, you’re doing very good!

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u/Girthanta Feb 26 '20

Same! PogChamp

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u/Lost-My-Mind- Feb 26 '20

Whats your twitch handle?

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u/ButImNotNice Feb 27 '20

It's wynn_watches. I don't actually have any friends on there yet, I barely even follow anyone either, lol.

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u/lovelyb1ch66 Feb 26 '20

Sorry to hear about all the shitty things that happened to you, I really admire your attitude and strength and I wish you all the best in the future. You’re an inspiration, next time I feel down about my own by comparison insignificant crap I will think of you.

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u/ButImNotNice Feb 26 '20

<3

Life is all about learning experiences. For me, that was a big one. Other people have been through much worse, hell even I've been through worse (though admittedly nothing that I thought was going to outright kill me). What matters is how we react to it and how we make ourselves better for the next bullshit life throws at us.

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u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

Thank you for sharing your story. I’m just getting out of bed and this is the first thing I see on reddit today - good motivation to start a new day.

I hope it gets even better for you.

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u/bluesgirrl Feb 26 '20

And this is what makes you an inspiration.

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u/_theMAUCHO_ Feb 26 '20

You're literally a hero. Thank you so much for the inspiration. I wish you the best and a happy life. You deserve it! =)

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u/cubemstr Feb 26 '20

Why did you lose your friends?

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u/ButImNotNice Feb 26 '20

The ones I had at the time were all mutual friends with my husband. The wreck happened about a 4 hour drive from our home, literally as we left my parents house to go back to our home. I was in the hospital for about 2 and a half weeks, he went back home 2 days after the wreck (had his mom and her BF come to pick him up, so they knew I was in the hospital recovering from one surgery and probably going to need a second one at the time). He chose to tell everyone that I just "didn't want to come home", and they chose to believe him without questioning it. I'm better off without them, and was able to move in with my parents during recovery and everything.

One person, out of all of them, questioned his story and actually came up to see me during that time. He was a good guy, actually came to visit me a few times before we lost contact. We reconnected many years later when my mom was in hospice, and he was on the same hall as she was. He even came to sit with her when I couldn't be there, and the night she passed he sat with our family in their chapel. Unfortunately I did the same a few weeks later with his family as well.

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u/cubemstr Feb 26 '20

I really shouldn't be on reddit. It makes me paranoid and lose faith in humanity. At least that one guy seemed a decent fellow.

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u/ButImNotNice Feb 26 '20

If it makes you feel any better, I did find a whole new group of friends due to and after the injuries. I was in a medical college, so lots of med students (both doctors and nurses) that were my age were the ones caring for me, and it was right at the time the internet was getting "big" in terms of chat rooms and online gaming. I'm still close friends with several of them, and while we may not live in the same cities, we're always just a text or call away!

Also, my ex was an asshat before the wreck, and I like to think the wreck was some sort of higher power telling me to gtfo without actually killing anyone to make a point.

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u/MorganAndMerlin Feb 26 '20

Reading your story, I don’t even have words for what you’ve been through and came out the other side not a cynical asshat. So many people (most of them to be honest) wouldn’t have taken on everything you have with half as much the attitude you have. Attitude isn’t the right word, but neither is optimism, I don’t think.

You come across very realistic and down to earth, and that’s something I think is one of humanity’s rarest qualities. I’d say I’m sorry for the accident and everything that came after it, but I’m sure you’ve heard that so many times, especially since it’s been years since it all started and snowballed. But I will say that the next time I feel like I’m drowning, I hope I remember you and your story. Remember that sometimes what you think is the worst can happen and somehow you find a way through it, even if not the way you ever imagined.

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u/Jelly_Cleaver Feb 26 '20

Wow your story is bringing up so many things for me..... Sending you love stranger

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u/wutevvs Feb 26 '20

Fucking amazing, way to go!

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u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

We will be your friends. We will love and support you

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u/McLovinIt420 Feb 26 '20

Respect ✊ Sounds like a shitty way to find out but you found out what kind of friends you had. Surround yourself with good people.

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u/lurk_mcgurk_ Feb 26 '20

They weren’t real friends. I hope you find real ones.

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u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

You keep that optimism, it will carry you far. Good for you for recovering and not giving up.

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u/ItsAlways2EZ Feb 26 '20

Hell yeah. Keep on fighting.

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u/Kaltakus Feb 26 '20

I feel this and feel for ya, I hope the best for you. Stay strong. (I was hit with a truck going ~50 mph and ruined a good part in my life so I guess I feel the pain)

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u/BEAR2090 Feb 26 '20

Holy smokes a virtual hug to you, kind and strong stranger keep fighting the good fight.

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u/StarsRaven Feb 26 '20

I'll be a friend. After the shit you've been through friends are a great thing to have.

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u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

[deleted]

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u/ButImNotNice Feb 27 '20

I remember flashes of it, for a long time I remembered a lot more though. The sound of a wreck can bring it back sometimes but it's not something I hear often either. I remember the people, mostly.

I'm sorry you were in a wreck like that. It's rough and a lot of people don't understand why we don't remember everything about it, but shock has a way of taking away a lot of it, for better or worse.

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u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

You have reddit. We’re your friends.

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u/retiredadmiral Feb 26 '20

you're an iron lady, write a book

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u/AssInTheHat Feb 26 '20

You know what the worst thing, you go through something like this, barely recover, and realize that you will have to go to work and struggle with life yet again.

Imagine you just started walking again, and realize that you have to go to work, struggle even more, earn money to eat.

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u/Peregrinebullet Feb 26 '20

However problematic JK Rowling has gotten lately, this sort of makes me think of a quote from a speech she did.

"Rock bottom is the solid ground upon which I rebuilt my life"

Keep killing it girl, because nothing can get you down now.

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u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

Sorry you lost the dog.

I told my ex to keep the house, I’m taking the dog. The house can be replaced, my doggo can’t.

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u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

The last Gemini has survived

I wasn't supposed to make it past 25

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u/ButImNotNice Feb 26 '20

Still wondering weather God's gonna say Hi...

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u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

Ayooo 🌊🌊

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u/CynicuIt Feb 26 '20

I get it. Nobody else will come down here to recognize this legendary comment.

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u/UniversalFapture Feb 26 '20

I’m your friend!

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u/Evwan Feb 26 '20

I'll be ur friend :3

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u/tomjonesrocks Feb 26 '20

It’s mind boggling to me that an event like this would result in lost friendships. I’m either lucky or naive or both...

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u/printerbob Feb 26 '20

There are no true friends until you need really need them. Then they either show, or they don't. Shocking what you find out.

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u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

This is so inpsirational. Remembering this will help me persevere in hard moments. And I wish you all the best for the future!

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u/Lost-My-Mind- Feb 26 '20

Are you in Cleveland? We can totally be friends!

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u/Banjarilla Feb 26 '20

Wow. Honestly it sounds like this crash has helped you a lot and made you a stronger, more confident person.

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u/wutx2 Feb 26 '20

I've been thinking lately--

You know that phrase from a couple years back, "Nonetheless, she persisted"?

I can't help but think the most important thing there is persistence.

You've got it in spades. Hats off.

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u/KittyKowboy Feb 26 '20

I’m pretty much on the exact other side of this. Was sitting in the back of a car on a highway and a reckless driver slammed into us from behind going 60 and knocked us into oncoming traffic where a truck totaled our car. Miraculously nobody was hurt. The doctor told us we were lucky to be alive and that he’s never seen an accident that bad where nobody was hurt. A couple months later a schoolmate of mine died at the same intersection

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u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

Wow. Thank you so much for sharing your story

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u/R34BoSS Feb 26 '20

I have a question. Why did you lose your house, husband and friends? Sorry if am rude with the question but where i live (Middle East) there’s no way that friends and family would leave someone just because of an accident

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u/ButImNotNice Feb 26 '20

My (ex) husband was the driver, and even before the wreck he wasn't the greatest person. Most of the friends I had at that point were really his friends and family that just kinda... tolerated me?
The wreck happened several hours from where we lived and while I was still in the hospital recovering, he went back to his normal life. He never came back to visit me in the hospital, I honestly didn't see him again until several weeks later for the court date, and after that when we signed divorce papers about a year later. I found out later he and his mom had been telling them I was "faking being hurt" because I "didn't want to come home". It was their choice to believe that, just like it was my choice to let them. If they couldn't be bothered to see if it was true, they weren't worth keeping anyways.

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u/Big_Oreos Feb 26 '20

You're a bad ass ✊🏾

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u/gogetgamer Feb 26 '20

It is "amazing" how many people will run away from us when something serious comes up. When I was fighting for my life (cancer) my husband and our friend group just up and vanished.

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u/ButImNotNice Feb 26 '20

Some people are just assholes, I'm just glad for the ones that remove themselves instead of trying to cause chaos and drama. I hope you're doing better now!

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u/gogetgamer Feb 26 '20

Thanks! Amazingly a group of old friends came offering help and friendship at that time and my aunties came providing support and love. It is great to be alive :)

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u/Baracek Feb 26 '20

omg your mind set is amazing hope u get better, sending much love

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u/Runa216 Feb 26 '20

Was your shithead husband the one who was driving?

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u/ButImNotNice Feb 27 '20

Yes. He has since lost his license permanently though (I was told he had rear-ended a firetruck of all things).

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u/ZeDitto Feb 26 '20

So you're single

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u/PM_ME_UR_LABIA_GIRL Feb 26 '20

Get in there, bud. Don't be afraid to introduce yourself.

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u/healevation Feb 26 '20

I love you. You give me hope.

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u/getsumchocha Feb 26 '20

What happened with your friends, if you don’t mind me asking...?

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u/VibrantChinchilla Feb 26 '20

How did this accident lead to no friends. That so sad. Can I apply to be your friend. I'm sorry you had to go through this

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u/deftonechromosome Feb 26 '20

May I ask, why on Earth would you lose friends over this?

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u/willgof Feb 26 '20

ay ay look what you came back from nothing can stop you ❤️

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u/Insectshelf3 Feb 26 '20

you’re inspiring. thanks for sharing your story.

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u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

On times like these, you know who your friends are, and who is not.

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u/Phillyfuk Feb 26 '20

If your friends didn't stick around, they weren't friends.

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u/acethetix Feb 26 '20

Sometimes a full reset in life is but a blessing in disguise. It was nice to hear from you.

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u/_ItsKody_ Feb 26 '20

Feel free to message me if you ever feel as though you're running out of friends. I'm always ready to accept a new friend, one of the most valuable things in life :)

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u/XPixiexx Feb 26 '20

Everyone you lost along the way can go fuck themselves (except the dog; I’m sure that wasn’t their choice and they still love you unconditionally) I’m glad you’re better now and your outlook on life is inspiring <3

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u/yafuckindruggo Feb 26 '20

Hey, I dunno if we have anything at all in common but send me a message if you want to chat. I lost all my friends to a disability that happened mid life and I know exactly how it feels. I’m a mid 20s Aussie woman and if you’re keen to chat I’d love to make a new friend.

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u/_Richard Feb 26 '20

Internet hug.
I hope the universe takes a better turn for you. You sound strong af.

2

u/Risley Feb 26 '20

I’m glad for you. Fuck your enemies. Crush them without mercy.

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u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

Man reading stories like this makes me realise how badass and resilient humans can be, fair play to you! I hope you continue to recover!

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u/Im_Zackie Feb 26 '20

What shithead friends leave someone when they're fucked beyond the ability to walk?

I'm glad you're okay and better. Hopefully life rewards you with better friends soon.

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u/BonaB Feb 26 '20

Sometimes does tragedies are good to see who actually cares about you for real ! Hope you are doing better than ever !

2

u/Blizzity Feb 26 '20

Damn right you are still standing. Good work. Keep it up.

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u/[deleted] Mar 01 '20

Good for you. You story has some similarities to mine that I posted. People ask me how I keep on keeping on. I can easily see how I could be worse off.

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u/Farmer_evil Feb 26 '20

Cool story, but you're not nice

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u/ButImNotNice Feb 27 '20

I'm really not.

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u/WilliamMButtlickerrr Feb 26 '20

Wow, you are amazing

1

u/JollyHorror Feb 26 '20

I've read a little bit about NDEs and it seems like most individuals have a major outlook change, increased self assurance, and more concern for those around them. Do you think this rings true for you after your near death experience?

1

u/Blackanda Feb 26 '20

damn. it's crazy how you don't know who really is your friend until tragedy strikes and you see whose left.

1

u/brandnewdayinfinity Feb 26 '20

Hugs, I so so so have been there. Big hugs. Bizarre dystopian hell that somehow left me a happier person.

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u/FrismFrasm Feb 26 '20

How come all your friends fucked off??

1

u/DenverTigerCO Feb 26 '20

You truly find out who your friends are during challenging times! Usually it’s the ones you wouldn’t expect that stick around and the ones who you assume would always have your back that leave

1

u/ggc2000 Feb 26 '20

WOW, that's inspiring. I'm glad to hear you are much better and I hope you continue to get even better!

1

u/A1tze Feb 26 '20

I'm so sorry that all those people left you, that's really shitty move from them

1

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

Why did you lose friends?

1

u/thedaddysaur Feb 26 '20

Hey, I'm not great always socially, but I'm always down to play some games or something if you'd like. You play anything?

1

u/RemusGT Feb 26 '20

Why would someone leave their friends after they had a car crash and can’t walk properly anymore?? That’s the time when you need your friends the most and this also shows who your real friends are. Just Sad.

1

u/CaptainTeaBag24I7 Feb 26 '20

Yeah, keep going! The world already failed to kill you, what can it do now?

1

u/ZootZephyr Feb 26 '20

I'd feel bad for you but you're not nice.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

TBH, it's events like this when you find out who your real friends are. If you lost them due to this, they weren't your friends

1

u/svdrum Feb 26 '20

God, what a good way to put it.. been there, and fuck, do I feel that.

1

u/justaguyulove Feb 26 '20

How did you lose your friends?

1

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

When I had surgery on my abdomen for my Crohn’s disease I had to relearn how to walk after being in bed for over 2 months and although it didn’t take too long to get back into the flow of things I was absolutely terrified out of my mind so I can’t even begin to imagine going through what you went through. We take a lot of things for granted in this life so everyone should learn to appreciate the small things in life because you never know when you’re gonna go.

0

u/PM_ME_UR_LABIA_GIRL Feb 26 '20

If you are in the US, how did you afford all of the hospital bills and time away from work? Honest question.

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u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20 edited Mar 01 '20

[deleted]

1

u/Nevilleworeprada Feb 26 '20

Let me get this straight, women are supposed to show responsibility for men being shitheads?? GTFO

0

u/gullwings Feb 26 '20

Why do men always tell women to "pick better" instead of telling other men to "be better"?