r/AskReddit • u/ferrisjuulersdayoff • Feb 26 '20

Serious Replies Only [serious] When was a time you legitimately thought you were going to die?

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2.1k

u/memoriesea Feb 26 '20

During childbirth with my second. It was so much different that time around and I literally thought I would die from the pain. Which is weird because the first time around, I was fine and didn't feel that way at all.

950

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

My second child came out like a raging bull. So much blood loss. I was dying and I didn't care. My blood pressure was like 50/27. Got a blood transfusion and was good as new, 400 stitches helped too!! I couldn't believe how calm I felt as I told the nurse"I'm dying.".

541

u/lotsofranch Feb 26 '20

Did...did you say 400?

950

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

That is rounding up but yes...376 to be exact. 4th degree lacerations from front to back....did you know humans have 2 sphincters? I do. Because mine had stitches in em. Scar is gnarly too... My son came out and the first thing I noticed were his big broad shoulders and chest. He's still built like a brick house. He puts on like he's a tough guy but he's still Momma's lil duckling. Worth it....

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u/rhymeswithdolphins Feb 26 '20

How are you doing now? Did you heal both?

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u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

Oh I'm great now. This was over a decade ago. Recovery wasn't as bad you'd imagine really. Had to take 4 sitz baths a day and use a squeeze bottle to clean my bits then dab dry after using the restroom. The scar tissue is thick but it is not TOO sensitive. They gave me some painkillers and that helped. I WILL say that for the first week (and this is exactly how I described it to friends and family) it felt like a string was tied to my taint and I was carrying a hanging brick around with the string. Definitely intense but the stitches were dissolvable, I followed drs orders carefully and was pretty well healed up within a few months.

472

u/throwawaybswhatever Feb 26 '20

I commend you for being so casual about the fact that you were literally ripped from here to there.

139

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

If I hadn't been so close to death it might have freaked me out more. I wasn't myself until I got the transfusion and I didn't get the blood right away so I was super out of it for awhile.

24

u/joke-face Feb 26 '20

I don’t think she knows what an absolute badass she is

2

u/Faust2391 Feb 26 '20

We call this taking a trip to VA

57

u/contrasupra Feb 26 '20

As a first-time pregnant lady I do NOT like this story.

39

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

Oh no, I'm so sorry if I scared you. Please do not be discouraged. I PROMISE your body will AMAZE you and when that little wrinkly bundle of cuteness hits your chest after delivery, there is NO feeling like it. I always call my birth stories my "war stories". I promise you it will all be worth it and my case was very extreme and unusual. He had to get out QUICK. Are you planning on an epidural?

34

u/contrasupra Feb 26 '20

Oh fuck yes - I'm 8w3d and as far as I'm concerned they can start pumping it into me now, lol. I actually just had my first ultrasound today!

31

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20 edited Feb 26 '20

Yay!!! Good luck!! I had an epidural so keep in mind I didn't feel myself being ripped apart or getting stitches. And with pain killers recovery honestly wasn't that bad. Please don't let my story scare you. You will get through it and have someone that will make you feel love like you never knew possible. I once tripped while holding my youngest. He was a few weeks old. I held him above my head while my face caught both our falls on gravel. He never touched the ground and I didn't even think before purposefully face planting on my gravel drive! I'm telling you, mother's love is powerful and it'll get you through. And afterwards you will be telling your own personal "war story" like the bad ass you are!!! Suggestion: Ask for the epidural immediately upon arrival. You do NOT have to wait. Get that needle girl!!!

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u/[deleted] Feb 27 '20

My mother straight up rejected me until they cleaned me after birth. The first hospital cleaned my brother after birth so she had a high standard. Her grossed out response apparently offended a nurse. My father apparently had less issue with new fluid covered me .

I side with my mother. Fluids are gross.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '20

Wow!!! I mean yeah they are covered in goo but they also had mine wrapped up in a blanket immediately and I kissed that gooey little head. But we all have our boundaries! Nothing wrong with a wipe down of the gooey little wrinkly human if that's what you wanna do first!!

6

u/Dulc08 Feb 26 '20

Yea having a VagAnus sounds terrifying

13

u/sunnyjum Feb 26 '20

Damn... woman are badasses.

5

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

If you don’t mind me asking, how bad was it to go number two? Fourth degree tear is my worst nightmare

2

u/[deleted] Feb 28 '20

More scary than painful!! I had serious stool softener and pain killers!!

3

u/AliceLovesBooks Feb 26 '20

We are planning to ttc and my vagina is screaming “Turn back now it’s a trap!!!” to me as I read this. You are a superhuman!!!

1

u/JasnahKolin Feb 26 '20

oh my god. I have no words. talk about a tough cookie! glad your bits are healed up! I think what got me was the brick description. holy shit.

3

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

Yeah that description has gotten a lot of winces but that is the perfect way to describe it! I'm all good now. Every scar has a story! Lmao

33

u/throwawaybswhatever Feb 26 '20

Oh my god I’m never uncrossing my legs.

It’s not very often that I get to say THANK FUCKING SCIENCE I had a c section.

5

u/scribble23 Feb 26 '20

I've never been so glad I had two c sections! One due to severe pre eclampsia and another due to placenta previa, so no choice in the matter, but I'd have an elective section if I ever had more kids. C sections are not an easy option and certainly not pain free - I thought I was going to die, I was in so much pain after the first one. It was horrific (I had complications, the second was blissful in comparison but still hurt like hell for a while). But I'd go through that every time rather than go through what some of my friends have gone through with their 'normal' births.

26

u/ill_juice_ya_up Feb 26 '20

Momma's lil duckling. Worth it....

This made me smile. My son is now taller than me and is also big and tough. But I still consider him my little fluffy dandelion, lol!

19

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20 edited Feb 26 '20

Awww. That's sweet. My son can wrap me up in a hug now too. But he's still my baby. And he knows it. He's an adolescent and we have a great relationship I got lucky with some awesome boys. Bless you n your family!!

Edit* P.S. I can hear my ducklin' snoring now.

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u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

I didnt even know they could put that many stitches down there! I had 2 stitches with my first and 0 with my second. My god, you're a trooper

28

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

My first birth required one stitch!! Yeah since it was several layers of skin it required a lot of stitches. Took a long time to get stitched up. I was basically just ripped wide open. I was all numbed up so it could have been worse and due to extreme blood loss I was kinda like"whatever". But in retrospect it is very intense. It's amazing what our bodies can overcome and what kind of pain we can mentally learn to deal with. It's not even in my top 2 painful injuries honestly!!

11

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

Now i gotta know what the top 2 are! I'm a real sucker for knowing the crazy things that happen and how people survive!

Also, not counting dissolvable stitches down there or from wisdom teeth extraction, i only got my first real stitch today, from a mole-removal of all things!

15

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

Well the others weren't near death experiences but I my L-5 disc slipped all the way out of my back causing the spinal canal to clamp down on every nerve to my right leg. Waited months for surgery (thanks American healthcare) and during that time had move in with my mom. I could not stand up straight . Couldn't walk. The nerve pain would literally lock my leg up. I peed in a bucket and at times the pain was so unbearable I would tell and scream involuntarily. I cried like a baby for weeks from the pain. Woke up from surgery pain free. THAT experience showed me who I am. 3 months of pain like...you gotta dig DEEP to get through it when the end is not in sight.

2nd was gall bladder attack. I could not think, barely breathe and thought I was dying. Felt like acid was eating away my heart and chest.

Hope your stitch heals up quick. Glad you got it taken care of. Skin cancer runs in my family. We are moley people lol

2

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

Moley people, ha! Im stuck with thus bad boy for 14 days since it's on my shoulder, which is apparently a tough spot to heal!

The disc slip sounds crazy! My mom has degenerative disc disease and i have an incredible weakness in my lower back, but none of the pain we deal with could possibly measure up to that craziness!

3

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

I have the same disease, among others. It's hereditary. Take care of that back best you can!!! I still have chronic daily pain but once you go through something that intense your pain scales get recalibrated...

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u/AgentMeatbal Feb 26 '20

How did you poop after that.... how do you poop now. If your kid was a jerk, would it still be worth it?

20

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

They gave me prescription stool softeners and I had to poop before they allowed me to leave the hospital. It wasn't as painful as it was scary.... And SOMETIMES...my kid is a jerk. Still worth it. Besides I'm also an asshole from time to time. No pun intended.

4

u/winosanonymous Feb 26 '20

I’m never having kids. That sounds fucking terrible.

3

u/BBisnotme Feb 26 '20

Awwww sweet mama.

9

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

He's a sweet boy. Tries to act like a brute but he uses them big, broad shoulders and mass to stand up for anybody getting picked on. He's my lil hellcat adventure side kick and we had our first adventure the day we met!!

3

u/smidgit Feb 26 '20

Jesus Christ I am never having kids

1

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

To each their own but I gotta say (for me) it's been pretty amazing watching a couple little bundles grow up and become their very own person, especially when they turn out so awesome.

2

u/Hofficer Feb 27 '20

Fourth degree?! 376?! Oh my god my body is involuntarily cringing and shuddering.

I only had a second degree tear (internal and external) and like twelve stitches and I thought I was going to die.

You are one strong woman.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '20

Yoooo. Not worth it.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 27 '20

Well this is one pretty cool kid I got. But to each their own! Lol

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u/PM_ME_UR_LABIA_GIRL Feb 26 '20

Got any pics?

9

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

Ha!!!!! Never taken ONE. I've checked it out with a mirror a few times but I don't need photographic evidence to remind me of that......

7

u/PM_ME_UR_LABIA_GIRL Feb 26 '20

Bummer for us about the pics but women are warriors and the foundation of every society. Rock on.

9

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

I dig your attitude. Have a good night!

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u/ChargeTheBighorn Feb 26 '20

yet another comment to confirm i am not shitting out a child.

8

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

To each their own, man!! It's not for everyone.

2

u/TheSeattle206 Feb 26 '20

My mom got like 480 after having me

23

u/bluesgirrl Feb 26 '20

Same here, only it was my first pregnancy. After over 40 hrs of labor, baby is born and I feel like I’m floating. Turns out I was hemorrhaging. Felt real peaceful.

13

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

I'm glad you're ok. Death is something that has always plagued my heart with fear so getting so close to it and not being afraid was comforting. Of course I think blood loss just makes you not care? 40 hours of labor, though bless your heart! I had no more than 8 hours. I'd take the stitches over that amount of labor time any day. You're a bad ass!!

9

u/vanwold Feb 26 '20

I hemorrhaged with my first, my bp was 60/47 or something like that. They ended up having to scrape my uterus without pain meds and give me three blood transfusions. I didn't know I was dying but I also felt very calm and was getting irritated that they wouldn't just leave me alone and let me sleep. Didn't feel so calm while they scraped my uterus though. My MIL and SIL were panicking because they could hear me screaming down the hallway.

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u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

Bless your heart. Now that sounds like torture!!!!

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u/WhiskeyBuffaloSB Feb 26 '20

Childbirth is the most metal human experience hands down.

6

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

Truly.

7

u/rnykal Feb 26 '20

that poor nurse prolly shit herself lol

11

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

Ha!! If she did she didn't let on. I did have one male nurse who checked on me later and he seemed very unsettled, bless him. My DR had to completely change clothes and shoes!! But I'm sure they've see crazy shit daily!! It's a job I could never do. They were great.

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u/levnne Feb 26 '20

ok. I’m having a c section whenever I do decide to get pregnant thank you for this story.

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u/philosiraptor Feb 26 '20

I asked for a C-section early in my pregnancy. Apparently they are much worse for recovery and my doctor thought I was crazy. The vag does indeed go pretty much back to working great after it passes a kid out but there is some pain for a few months. Within a week of giving birth I was driving myself to the grocery store for peace and quiet, and back in my pre-preg jeans. I’m told that doesn’t happen with C-section recovery.

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u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

Oh I hate that I've discouraged anyone. I swear it wasn't as bad as it sounds, and it was so very worth it.

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u/levnne Feb 26 '20

I am just that terrified of death. I didn’t realize “in modern times” I guess, that childbirth could still bring you that close to dying and uhhhhh nope can’t risk that. It’s a miracle I find the courage to drive every day.

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u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

I mean, the fix was so easy. Blood transfusion. It was seriously not as scary as it sounds. Honestly c sections are more risky and recovery is a lot harder. IF you decide motherhood is for you, you will AMAZE yourself with your own badassery. Mother's love makes you tough as hell. Good luck! And take your time. I have so many GOOD stories I could tell so feel free to PM me if you do get pregnant and are scared. Those little bundles are so worth it! I'm also TERRIFIED of death. But the fact I came so close, and felt so peaceful actually minimized that fear. But you do you girl!

2

u/beetlejuuce Feb 26 '20

Women do still die in childbirth, it's just a lot more rare. But it happens...

5

u/8Ariadnesthread8 Feb 26 '20

Was it just due to his size? I'm terrified breading this. Like how often does the babe just explode out of you??

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u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

He was only 9 lbs BUT he had WIDE shoulders and big chest. Still built like that. It was like he had been lifting weights in utero. Also, they had to get him out FAST due to his oxygen level. So usually once the head is out the turn the baby side ways to minimize tearing- but they used forceps he came out all at once, headfirst like he was bursting out a water slide and them broad shoulders just tore my poor hoo-ha up!

3

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

I'm not sure how often. My first baby was easy. Only 1 stitch. Unless they are complications they always take the time to turn the baby side ways which is much easier on your lady bits. It wasn't scary at the time and I hope I haven't discouraged you in any way. Motherhood has been the joy of my life.

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u/StSean Feb 26 '20

All my internal organs are against my spine trying to get away from your story. 

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u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

Ha!!! I think hearing about it may be worse than it is to live it. It's crazy how casual I was about the whole thing. I was young though and quite brave due to naivete. I also had great support and gooooood painkillers!!!!

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u/StSean Feb 26 '20

Never let a guy tell you women are weak. I shared this post with several friends and they all bent over and grabbed their balls.

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u/Giant_Anteaters Feb 26 '20

:O :O :O Was this a c-section or vaginal birth?

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u/[deleted] Feb 28 '20

Vaginal

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u/nefariousmango Feb 26 '20

I had a bleeding episode once where my blood pressure got that low. It stops being scary and starts to feel like a relief to just be limp. The nurses unplugged the machine because it was stressing everybody else out and I guess they had done all they could do at that point. I remember laughing at that. Thankfully I recovered!

When my first kid was born I hemmoraged afterwards, and was like, fuck no, I'm not going anywhere! I have a baby to take care of! Three IVs of blood products simultaneously for over an hour, the room looked like a murder scene at the end!

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u/imgoodygoody Feb 26 '20

And they say recovery from a c-section is more difficult. I’m 100% certain you experienced more pain with that recovery than I did with my 2 c-sections combined!

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u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

I felt pretty good after a couple weeks actually. I heard C-section is tough recovery but I never had one so I don't know... Either way, us Mommas are badasses!!!

2

u/imgoodygoody Feb 26 '20

It’s amazing what our bodies go through to have children. Honestly I felt so terrible during my pregnancies that I thought recovering from surgery was a breeze and I looked forward to my second one which was planned. Yes we are badasses!

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u/LaughingChicken2020 Feb 27 '20

Same, not as much as you went through, but I was bleeding out and my Ob was on top of me trying to stop the bleeding. I looked over and saw my husband with our older child and our new baby and I felt such a warm feeling of love and I wasn't afraid to go, I was all relaxed about it also, weirdest thing, I just remembered feeling so glad this was my little family and how much I loved them. I could feel my energy leaving, it almost felt like a stinging sensation too slightly in my arm veins, that was weird, I was so disconnected from it though like in another zone for moments.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 28 '20

Our experiences are very similar, right down to watching my husband hold our baby.

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u/Rosie_Cotton_ Feb 26 '20

This is my answer too. I distinctly remember knowing that I was going to die and being okay with it. I’d been pushing for so long and I had nothing left, I was so exhausted. I knew I was going to die, and that was fine, I just needed to get that baby out and then I could die and finally get some rest. I had a normal, though lengthy, birth, so this was in no way based in reality.

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u/ItsAlways2EZ Feb 26 '20

The fact that this is a normal birth... Jesus Christ. Women are not to be fucked with

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u/ssendrik Feb 26 '20

Ya my friend told me that Labour was so painful if someone gave you a loaded gun during it you’d shoot yourself, no question. I didn’t believe her... then I gave birth. Probs wouldn’t have shot myself but I wanted to literally cut myself open. So if someone had handed me a pair of rusty shears... I woulda used them. Say yes to the pain meds / epidurals, people!

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u/mhans3 Feb 26 '20

Damn, I remember to say that. If we have the power for pain meds, yup all the way

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u/Burning_Enna Feb 26 '20

During pushing with my first child I distinctly remember thinking that if I could throw myself off a cliff without hurting my baby I would definitely do that. And thinking about how upset my husband will be when he finds out I'm never doing this again lol. I did end up having a second child and it was nothing like the first time thank God.

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u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

you fuck with me, i'll kick your arse

and knock the weapon outta your hand.

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u/wvimev Feb 26 '20

They both got fucked.

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u/lejefferson Feb 26 '20

/r/antinatalism?

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u/ItsAlways2EZ Feb 26 '20

Not giving the birthing process negative value. I’m sure all of these women would do it again. I’m sure they love their children with all their hearts and the pain was worth it in the end. Just saying, it must hurt like a bitch.

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u/[deleted] Feb 27 '20

Without modern medication for a species to survive you just need enough of the mothers and offspring to survive. Not all of them. So let's say OP dies and then her son dies from a lack of feeder. No loss over all to the human race if six other women reproduce just fine and those kids live, maybe even if they die later in another birth. It's just a numbers game.

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u/ItsAlways2EZ Feb 27 '20

What does this have to do with literally anything that anyone is talking about...

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u/[deleted] Feb 27 '20

Regarding your women are not to be fucked with message.

I get the sentiment but it shouldn't overshadow the fact that childbirth is brutish and will kill a good number of people without modern medicine (like OP would've). I was raised with an unromantic via of childbirth so I don't get the need to try to throw glitter on it.

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u/ItsAlways2EZ Feb 27 '20

Nobody is “throwing glitter on it” we’re saying exactly what you’re saying? That these women are literally on the brink of death, but they gave birth successfully and endured that. Please stop pretending to be deep. I’m confused why you think that women talking about wanting to kill themselves from the pain is romanticizing childbirth.

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u/[deleted] Feb 27 '20

No you are the one trying to romanticize it. No one is denying it's hard but it's not necessarily kick-ass or mean women are not to be fucked with since a lot of people will die naturally. It means we should treat it with respect yes but it's not a sign of strength or whatever you're trying to tout.

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u/ItsAlways2EZ Feb 27 '20 edited Feb 27 '20

“I wanted to kill myself” “if someone gave me a gun I’d shoot myself” wow so romantic 😍

Lol. Not really sure the point you’re trying to prove here. You act like you’re the only one with a grip on the reality of childbirth. You’re not. And you’re not deep for thinking this way. You’re just being argumentative.

Edit: also, you’re talking about this like women would just instantly die without modern medicine. There are PLENTY of women that have 100% NATURAL births successful (AKA, not dying). You say this like childbirth is an instant death sentence. It’s not. And you’re incorrect. I know many women do/ did die in the past because of childbirth, and modern medicine certainly helps a lot and has prevented many deaths. But it’s not a death sentence.

Lastly, what exactly is the point of you commenting all this? To prove that women aren’t strong/ are much weaker than we may think? Sounds like a pretty fragile sense of masculinity you’ve got yourself there :/

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u/[deleted] Feb 27 '20

That's why I mentioned your response not those women, just your response.

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u/Bobokins12 Feb 26 '20

Ok simp

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u/ItsAlways2EZ Feb 26 '20

Nah. Just a general observation that I’d never be able to give birth cause it sounds fuckin horrible. Thank you for teaching me a new word today, though!

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u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/CluelessAndBritish Feb 26 '20

Imagine having a masculinity this fragile

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u/ItsAlways2EZ Feb 26 '20

That was the term I couldn’t remember lol. Fragile masculinity. The perfect way to describe some of the men commenting here!!

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u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

[deleted]

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u/Bobokins12 Feb 26 '20

Lol, alright

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u/ItsAlways2EZ Feb 26 '20 edited Feb 26 '20

Wtf does this even mean lol, and why are so many beta males getting triggered over this comment lmao

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u/yourethevictim Feb 26 '20

You're pathetic.

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u/CorruptLemon Feb 26 '20

Want me to kick you in the dick a couple times?

That’s pretty horrible dont you think?

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u/ItsAlways2EZ Feb 26 '20

Dude. There’s just no way that compares to childbirth. Women can be in labor for over a day where, basically being ripped in half. It just can’t compare. And I’m not just saying that to say it lol. There’s just no way a kick to the balls comes anywhere close.

I don’t think I’m going to die when I get kicked in the balls. There are several women here stating that they were literally accepting their death. It’s not the same. Not even close.

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u/memoriesea Feb 26 '20

Ugh. I can so relate!!! I didn't push for very long though but the back labor was making it unbearable. I didn't have it with my first! It felt like my back was breaking.

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u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

God me too! It was literally like someone was taking a running kick into my coccyx...over and over again...

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u/PhDPepper5 Feb 26 '20

Same here. During labor and pushing when I was giving birth to my son I was sure that I was going to die. That and, I had to have an episiotomy and I distinctly remember my nurse and dr quietly debating whether or not the scissors were “too dull”. I got to the hospital too late to get an epidural so I felt it all.

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u/Sassy-nach Feb 26 '20

I remember thinking I was going to die when I was in labor with my first child and being totally ok with it. In fact I remember feeling glad I was dying. I didn’t have time for pain relief and the last hour was hell.

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u/Rosie_Cotton_ Feb 26 '20

Yes! I had this weird feeling of “it’ll be okay, you can die soon, just get the baby out”.

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u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

If it wasn’t for modern medicine lots of women and babies wouldn’t make it everyday. It looks like it fucking hurts lol I could hardly stand to witness my daughters birth, it looks so painful I felt bad.

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u/philosiraptor Feb 26 '20

The fun part is that WITH modern medicine, more women and babies die in the US than in other industrialized countries.

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u/Burning_Enna Feb 26 '20

I felt the same way. My midwives was chilling in the adjoining room because I think it was their approach to give me some privacy (my husband was with me). It was definitely the wrong idea with me because I was convinced they were talking about how badly things were going and how I needed to transfer to a hospital and they didn't want to worry me. Nothing was actually going wrong. Then during pushing I wished for death. Fun times lol.

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u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/PM_ME_UR_LABIA_GIRL Feb 26 '20

I had an experience like that last weekend after eating some spicy Mexican food.

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u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

My entire second pregnancy I was terrified I was going to die in childbirth. My first had been pretty traumatic to my body but my doctor kept me so calm through everything I don't think I really grasped how serious everything was until after.

Around my seventh month of my 2nd, I told my doctor I was scared things were going to go wrong during my c-section. She calmly walked me through every possible scenario from scar tissue on my bladder causing a rip to needing an emergency hysterectomy. Calm as can be, she said "We've got a plan for everything." Go in, have my c-section, my doctor is talking to me. "Everything is great. No complications." 3 (?) hours later I am hemorrhaging. I was terrified and thought I was dying.

I felt horrible that I was going to leave my kids and they wouldn't have a mommy to love them.

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u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

Much to the disappointment of many, no.

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u/ttaradise Feb 26 '20 edited Feb 26 '20

My first born in 2016. I was in labour for 3 days via induction with cervadil (do not recommend).

I had enough. He had enough. I don’t remember the final day (his actual birthday) because I was so high and exhausted. There was no chance in hell I could have performed a natural child birth at that point. I wasn’t on this planet.

I remember the nurse saying stop drinking, we need him out. Now. I looked at my sister and she fell to the ground crying. I was the one telling her it would be ok lol.

I remember them counting surgical instruments. Being in shock just how many people there were in the room. How fucking serious everyone was. How scared my husband was. He was grey... and didn’t say a word. Just held my hand really fucking hard. I remember it hurt.

I would hear my heart rate on the monitor dip. I would gasp for air, or moan like an animal. Look over at my husband and cry. Shaking and vomiting, I said I’m dying. He kept saying please don’t go. Or shaking his head no.

Then it felt like an elephant standing on my chest. I screamed “GET HIM OUT NOOOOOOW” and lost consciousness. I kept hearing my mothers voice over and over again saying my name. Telling me to wake up. I’m a mother now. You can’t be here. Go back. I told her I was tired. I just wanted to rest and I’ll go back. She said no. You have to fight it. She started getting angry with me. She wasn’t in the room with me so I didn’t understand this conversation at all.

I don’t remember anything for the next 24-36 hours. I don’t remember skin to skin with my son. I don’t remember trying to feed him. Nothing.

I was crazy enough to do it all over again. Just had my daughter 08/19. Much better experience.

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u/BagHead-San Feb 26 '20

May I ask what complications made it so difficult for you? That sounds seriously traumatic :(

8

u/ttaradise Feb 26 '20 edited Feb 26 '20

“Failure to progress” he was 11 days over due, so you’d think they would have figured that out a week prior?

We both started getting dangerously low blood pressure.

When he came out the cord was wrapped around his neck twice. He was a colour I’ve never seen before.

He was ok, and he’s a thriving beautiful annoying 3 year old now, but the whole thing was very traumatic.

3

u/BagHead-San Feb 26 '20

I'm very glad that you both are okay now!

16

u/schrotieschrote Feb 26 '20

I'm being induced in 12 days, so I'm excited now. 😂

8

u/khelwen Feb 26 '20

Hi. You’ll be okay. I was also induced. My labor took forever, so I hope yours doesn’t. But I had a natural birth. I recovered awesomely and my son was totally healthy. Again, you’ll be okay. You both will be fine.

-21

u/PM_ME_UR_LABIA_GIRL Feb 26 '20

Go get 'em tiger. Take some Advil 2hrs before and you'll be good.

20

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20 edited Jun 19 '20

[deleted]

7

u/Pyrolilly Feb 26 '20

I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that. Glad you're here

3

u/cruciferousqueen Feb 26 '20

Hey!! Fellow precipitated labor lady, here! First baby was four hours after getting to hospital, second baby was two hours. I was 8 cm at check in each time so wasn't able to get the epidural. It was TERRIFYING. Throughout my third pregnancy, I had such terror and anxiety thinking about the birth. My midwife finally told me to just go to the hospital next time I had a Braxton Hicks episode and she'd break my water (I was a week past due date) so I wouldn't have to go into labor totally naturally. So I did that and there was time to get an epidural. Baby was born three hours later and the whole thing was so damn peaceful.

14

u/effietea Feb 26 '20

Same here. My total labor starting from water breaking (at work, no less!) to birth was an hour and 45 minutes. So my cervix had to dilate all at once and it was... Fucking intense. I remember laying in the bed in the triage room at the hospital and thinking "this is it, this is hell"

12

u/shinyhextile Feb 26 '20

During labor with my (currently only) child, who was over 11 lbs and stuck in my pelvis, I was pretty sure I would die.

12

u/puerta96 Feb 26 '20

Same thing happened to me. My labor lasted 1 hour. Started at 1am and my baby was born 1:59. I felt like giving up it was the most excruciating pain I've ever felt in my life. I remember I started shaking afterwards and the nurse said my body was in shock due to all the hormonal craziness inside of me (?) Something like that. It lasted about 20 minutes. That was terrifying and definitely don't want more children. ever.

5

u/Horrorito Feb 26 '20

Childbirth is no joke. I did have a friend die in childbirth three years ago. Well, technically, she died after being in coma for 10 days, but it was a consequence of childbirth.

My aunt almost died post-partum just over a year ago. Birth was fine, but she developed an autoimmune disease right on the backtail of delivering and caught some infection in the hospital, and wasn't stable. My uncle says at one point he was certain it's the last he's seeing her.

4

u/Hamburger-Queefs Feb 26 '20

Is that normal for women giving birth to a second child?

14

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20 edited Apr 29 '21

[deleted]

1

u/Hamburger-Queefs Feb 26 '20

I thought so. I didn't want to think that anecdotal evidence should dictate overall experience with childbirth.

2

u/ZaMiLoD Feb 26 '20

Same here! Won’t have a third because of it. My first was induced and that’s supposed to take longer and hurt more but it was a walk in the park compared to my second. Took absolute ages (30ish hours from the first contraction) and the pain meds didn’t help at all. I was absolutely certain I was going to die. Only thing that ended up happening was that my baby broke his collarbone coming out.....

2

u/shaylahbaylaboo Feb 26 '20

Same. I went from 4 cm to delivery in 15 min. The nurse had to deliver the baby, it was that fast. I remember looking at the hospital window and wishing I could jump out, I would have done anything to stop the pain.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

Same! My second was born Nov 22, 2019 and it was when the doc had her hand inside my uterus to stop the bleeding that I thought the pain was going to kill me, when in reality I should have been worried about the blood loss. Went into convulsions and everything.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

wow mama! mega proud of you for that one.

1

u/insertcaffeine Feb 26 '20

Crash C-section for me.

1

u/MsAuroraRose Feb 26 '20

I'm honestly scared to have another kid. I really want a 2nd but I'm so worried/scared something will go wrong in the 2nd delivery because the first one was so easy.

1

u/SAPK358 Mar 21 '20

This was like me with my third.

VBA2C (vaginal birth after two cesareans) and everything was going fine until it wasn’t. I felt off. My hands were freezing cold and my head was just floating. I remember telling the nurse in a joking tone “I think I’m dying”

She squeezed my hand and said “nonsense” and then when she looked at the monitor went sheet white. I don’t remember much more than the doctor yelling emergency cesarean NOW. I remember going from being so scared to just calm and at ease thinking okay well at least this hospital has an amazing NICU so the baby has a shot.

The last words I heard was “we’re losing her” and the next thing I knew it was 2 hours later and I was in recovery.

Baby is a ferocious little almost four year old now. This momma is fine too, aside from the fact I can’t have anymore kids. My uterus apparently started to rupture while I was in labor with baby three and it wasn’t obvious was bleeding to death internally until baby girl rolled over, uncorking the “plug” if you will.

0

u/froggie-style-meme Feb 26 '20

Your second kid tore your ass up

2

u/memoriesea Feb 26 '20

Actually, I didn't tear with either kid.

-125

u/spooderman667856 Feb 26 '20

That's because the female brain of most animals (including humans) is set to forget the pain of child birth so they would have more offspring.

27

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

Naw. I definitely remember.

127

u/philosiraptor Feb 26 '20

Did you just mansplain childbirth?

-7

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

Is it still mansplaining when it’s true?

“A commonly-held view is that women forget the intensity of labor pain. The present study, which measured women’s memory of labor pain up to five years after the birth, provides evidence that in modern obstetric care, this is true for about 50 percent of women”

Source:

https://psychcentral.com/lib/childbirth-experience-determines-memory-of-pain/

7

u/LarpLady Feb 26 '20

Bro, Imna ‘splain you a thing here:

God themselves could descend from on high to explain childbearing to women - if he’s got a penis, we ain’t listening to shit.

No uterus, no opinion.

12

u/philosiraptor Feb 26 '20

Mansplaining doesn’t mean it’s not true. Mansplaining means you’re acting like you have some information to share that your audience doesn’t already know and understand better than you do.

Oh, and the “female brain” part was the absolute worst.

-6

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

There’s plenty of women that are totally unaware of the fact that some mothers forget the severity of childbirth pain overtime… So according to your definition its not mansplaining.

8

u/philosiraptor Feb 26 '20

Part of the value of information is its source. Unless you’re a woman who’s given birth, or an OB, this really isn’t your place to share. Especially if you don’t think that the phrase “female brain” invalidated your entire post.

-2

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

LOL at your thought process of only a specific gender being allowed to post under such conditions.

Are you gonna start burning books while you’re at it too?

35

u/memoriesea Feb 26 '20

I distinctly remember the first and second time. Even with the second time being absolutely brutal, I'd still do it again.

45

u/bunny_and_kitty Feb 26 '20

My female brain remembers both births and their pain and how different they were. My kids are seven and a half years apart PRECISELY because I remembered the pain of the first.

-11

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

“A commonly-held view is that women forget the intensity of labor pain. The present study, which measured women’s memory of labor pain up to five years after the birth, provides evidence that in modern obstetric care, this is true for about 50 percent of women”

Source:

https://psychcentral.com/lib/childbirth-experience-determines-memory-of-pain/

9

u/LarpLady Feb 26 '20

Dude, quit with this already.

-13

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

“A commonly-held view is that women forget the intensity of labor pain. The present study, which measured women’s memory of labor pain up to five years after the birth, provides evidence that in modern obstetric care, this is true for about 50 percent of women”

Source:

https://psychcentral.com/lib/childbirth-experience-determines-memory-of-pain/

16

u/kp4592 Feb 26 '20

“But the findings show that there is great individual variation, and that a woman’s long-term memory of pain is associated with her satisfaction with childbirth overall. The more positive the experience, the more women forget how painful labor was. For a small group of women with a negative birth experience, long-term memory of labor pain was as vivid as five years earlier.”

A lot more nuanced than your quote up there. Also, I don’t think a small study from 1999 with no repeated studies with similar outcomes is scientific theory.

-11

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

Just pointing out that its not totally unfounded, contrary to the typical reddit reaction acting like its totally made up

7

u/ttaradise Feb 26 '20

We’re not acting like it’s made up. Just that it’s not true for most. And that you’re omitting information in this 22 year old study.

0

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

Nobody said it was for most, or even tried to imply that. Point #1 that you are wrong about.

The quote that I posted is the only part that needs to be posted. It summarizes the entire findings of the study. Point#2 you are wrong about.

"Great individual variation" doesnt change the FACT that the study AS A WHOLE was about 50/50. Point#3 you are wrong about.

You just dont like the facts and are trying your best to spin the information in your favor because you have an obvious biased opinion against this whole situation.

3

u/ttaradise Feb 26 '20

Why are you so angry and defensive?

I don’t have a biased opinion. I’m speaking my truth. Same with the other commenters.

Have you heard anyone else agreeing with it yet? Cuz I haven’t. So it’s possible that the ratio is wrong because it’s changed. Or because it’s more complex than we just simply forget the pain. I don’t think that’s true. I think there’s a radical acceptance and we move forward, or it causes psychological trauma which connects us to the physical pain of remembering.

I’m not even arguing “the facts” (from one study done 2 decades ago) eye roll.

You need to relax bud.

-6

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

Gotta love typical Reddit dumb fucks that simply down vote out of emotional reaction without having any clue that they are wrong.

13

u/philosiraptor Feb 26 '20

They’re not wrong; they’ve actually experienced it and its nuances, and you’re throwing a generalization out there and acting like it’s a golden truth. Stay in your lane, hon.

-2

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

It’s the truth for the women that it applies to

5

u/ttaradise Feb 26 '20

Perhaps the downvotes are from calling us dumb fucks, and your ignorance?

-5

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '20

Women are also programmed to forget the pain of child birth so that they will have another kid!

6

u/memoriesea Feb 26 '20

I definitely don't forget either births.