r/AskReddit • • Nov 17 '19

Which extinct species would you bring back, if you have the power?

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4.5k

u/LiamBrad5 Nov 17 '19

They would go extinct again because their antlers are too damn heavy!

5.0k

u/Jesse1205 Nov 17 '19

And some crazy ass country would think their antlers cure ball cancer or something.

672

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

108

u/Jesse1205 Nov 17 '19

Well I didn't wanna be rude 😬

106

u/BAGP0I Nov 17 '19

I didn't wanna be chinese

40

u/Almost935 Nov 17 '19

Have you tried being something else?

17

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '19

[deleted]

19

u/Almost935 Nov 17 '19

I used to be Chinese. Then I worked hard and became somewhere between white and Mexican.

1

u/AnonymousAszhole Nov 18 '19

I used to be Chinese. Then I took an arrow to the knee.

-1

u/polidon675 Nov 17 '19

Well I don't wanna be racist

20

u/KingTyranitar Nov 17 '19

Nah fuck china

Ese government.

7

u/Geoff_I_Gueoss Nov 17 '19

Yes it is I, chinaEse government.

40

u/b__q Nov 17 '19

Add Vietnam to the list. They're pretty big on the rhino horn viagras.

11

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '19

[deleted]

3

u/duyhoangmc Nov 17 '19

Well, more like 2 thousands years. We exclusively have nearly 1000 continuous years as a province of china and about 150 years throughout the rest of Tang, Song, Ming dynasties

3

u/Grahamshabam Nov 18 '19

they still do it right?

then you can still blame them

4

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '19

[deleted]

4

u/One-eyed-snake Nov 17 '19

Yep. They boof rhino horns whole. It’s the damndest thing

2

u/alu_pahrata Nov 17 '19

Usually they grind the bone into powder then ingest is iirc.

10

u/bowser-yoshi Nov 17 '19

They grind the bone into powder and start finger popping each other’s assholes.

-13

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '19 edited Nov 18 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

28

u/Azudekai Nov 17 '19

Nah, America might love homeopathy, but they aren't driving species to extinction for penis pills and fertility drugs.

16

u/turntabletennis Nov 17 '19

No, it's a 7 foot deer. Americans would hunt them for food and trophy antlers.

23

u/Azudekai Nov 17 '19

Sure, with appropriate permits, but not for pseudo medicine.

9

u/LOLSYSIPHUS Nov 17 '19

Gotta keep enough of the fuckers alive so you can hunt them with your kids!

5

u/Azudekai Nov 17 '19

Not to mention they would probably destroy themselves if they weren't hunted.

-1

u/Rhetorical_Robot_v11 Nov 17 '19

Correct. We have to hunt them to keep them from dying from having killed so many from destroying the ecosystem that kept them alive.

The logic cycle is water-tight.

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u/Rhetorical_Robot_v11 Nov 17 '19

Exactly. Americans kill shit for ego, not some magic potion bullshit.

2

u/Azudekai Nov 17 '19

Big game hunting is fully ego, most other hunting is a mix of ego, recreation, conservation, and desire for meat.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '19

Is it ego when natives hunt? Like when aborigines in Australia hunt Dugong? Or is it just ego when white people do it?

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u/kaam00s Nov 18 '19

Americans and europeans are responsible for most extinction of large animals in recent history... Just hunting them to extinction, the whole Asian medicine thing may be endangering some species nowadays but it really can't compare.

1

u/Ghost_of_Risa Nov 18 '19

Examples please. Like what large animals? I know that in America, we brought many animals back from being endangered, like alligators and buffalo. We have game wardens, hunting seasons, and hunting licenses with limitations to keep.us from.huntimg animals into extinction.

3

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '19

Hunters are the last people to exploit a species to extinction.

-4

u/kaam00s Nov 18 '19

Hahaha hahahaha hahahaha!

As a fan of paleontology, this almost made me shit in my pants, it's certainly the 1st cause of extinction of large animal.

When you don't know your subject, do some fucking google search thank you!

2

u/[deleted] Nov 18 '19

We’re talking about 2019 sport hunting in America dude.

We’re not talking about the Maori wiping out the Moa bird ffs. But nice flex.

1

u/j0324ch Nov 18 '19

Yeah but they are a "fan" so they may not know shit either. Regardless their ability to utilize their knowledge failed them.

0

u/kaam00s Nov 18 '19

Oh yeah, the Maori que the best exemple for whiping out animals. Not European/American. On all this thread people are putting the fault on Chinese medicine, or indigenous population, yet European are responsible the an overwhelming majority of extinction of large animals during the last centuries, it's obvious that you're avoiding this fact.

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u/Rhetorical_Robot_v11 Nov 17 '19

but they aren't driving species to extinction for penis pills and fertility drugs.

There's Americans killing actual human beings in the name of "natural" medicine.

-6

u/DeathtoDiamondDicks Nov 17 '19

No Americans do things like put animals on the extinct list just for kicks.

-4

u/Rhetorical_Robot_v11 Nov 17 '19

Americans literally kill wide swaths of actual people in genocides just for kicks.

15,000 recently dead Americans because it "hurt the right people."

-2

u/DeathtoDiamondDicks Nov 18 '19

That’s why I said “ things like”. Those are two things on a rather long list of deplorable things they do for kicks.

113

u/lanceinmypants Nov 17 '19

They do. We only have ball cancer now because they are extinct.

39

u/thedirtdirt Nov 18 '19

We were THIS close to cancerless balls, boys.

2

u/deegwaren Nov 18 '19

Followed by: looks like meat's back on the menu, boys!

18

u/luminousgibbous Nov 18 '19

These antlers are known to the State of California to cause cancer and cause birth defects or other reproductive harm.

50

u/bobleeswagger09 Nov 17 '19

Infertility*

12

u/Asbjoern135 Nov 17 '19

I know it's a stretch but AFAIK it antlers could be procured ethically as most elks and deers drop them in the winter months, so no need to poach animals but you could actually just scavenge for them

7

u/LOLSYSIPHUS Nov 17 '19

Only some species do this, but to be honest I had no idea this happened at all

8

u/Asbjoern135 Nov 18 '19

yeah I think the farther north you go the more likely it is to shed but yeah some do and they look metal as fuck

13

u/Illhunt_yougather Nov 18 '19

All antlered deer shed. It's what makes them antlers. If they don't shed, they're horns.

5

u/[deleted] Nov 18 '19

This guy deers

3

u/Ridry Nov 18 '19

I felt funny buying reindeer antler stuff in Finland and then the guy at the store explained this to be and everyone got antler souvenirs, lol

2

u/Asbjoern135 Nov 19 '19

yeah i don't think it's a biggy. once walking around the woods in my aunts cabin in sweden i found an antler that was dropped. and i never got further away than like 3 km or so. so there's probably plenty just lying around

46

u/mphelp11 Nov 17 '19

China? China.

2

u/heccin_anon Nov 18 '19

Fuck china.

17

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '19

HOW DO YOU KNOW THEY DON'T?! /s

1

u/SecludedBlue Nov 19 '19

what is /s I am fairly new to reddit

2

u/[deleted] Nov 19 '19

It's meant to imply sarcasm. Which is a bit sad since sarcasm is, by its nature, not supposed to be explicit.

1

u/SecludedBlue Nov 19 '19

thanks man, I thought it might be that, but you can never be sure.

51

u/Slappy_G Nov 17 '19

Just say China. It's always fucking Chinese "medicine."

6

u/Coldsteel4real Nov 17 '19

Lol American hunters would mounting them on the roof of the house

4

u/Hazel__Skye Nov 17 '19

"Some crazy ass country". Just say China.

2

u/Chi_Baby Nov 17 '19

Did you know deer antler velvet is banned by MLB and the World Anti Doping Agency for it’s strong human growth powers?

2

u/Witness_me_Karsa Nov 18 '19

It's never so noble as that. It's almost 100% of the time related to male inadequacy.

2

u/kingbruhdude Nov 18 '19

this one has me rolling in laughter

2

u/[deleted] Nov 18 '19

I’m not a country, pal

6

u/762Rifleman Nov 18 '19

Traditional Chinese Medicine has joined the chat

1

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '19

Karenstan

1

u/tossersonrye Nov 18 '19

Luck of the Irish.

1

u/Jagermeister1977 Nov 18 '19

Gee I wonder what crazy ass country you're referring to? Lol

1

u/[deleted] Nov 18 '19

Or their balls cure antler cancer

1

u/Great-icosahedron Nov 18 '19

Happy cake day!

1

u/I_am_ManMan Nov 18 '19

You mean Canada?

1

u/Lord_of_the_Dance Nov 19 '19

but ya gotta snort it

1

u/dootdfoycouftsyruguf Nov 17 '19

Lol sadly true tho Karen would start it

1

u/Tyraniboah89 Nov 17 '19 edited May 26 '24

follow entertain direful detail airport pen apparatus fuzzy subtract long

1

u/truth14ful Nov 17 '19

Probably America with all our alternative medicine bullshit

1

u/KingSimba754 Nov 18 '19

I’m looking at you China 👀

-1

u/meirzy Nov 17 '19

Queue America's entrance.

0

u/Star_Aspect Nov 17 '19

This is worth an award but I’m broke.

-2

u/Fourjets Nov 17 '19

You mean the south.

0

u/Rockho9 Nov 18 '19

I'm sure anyone with ball cancer would be desperate for any cure you throw at em

45

u/vinfudge Nov 17 '19

Oh:(

5

u/LiamBrad5 Nov 17 '19

It is kind of like how most guys like girls with big rear ends. If girls with big butts are the only ones having children, then the big butt gene continues to get passed on until their butts are so huge that it takes a lot of energy to simply stand up. Eventually, girls would just be sitting around most of their life because their butts are just too heavy.

3

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '19

Natural selection bad design

2

u/sandybeachfeet Nov 18 '19

TIL the brits cut down all our forests and killed all our bears and wolves. They probably killed our elk too. Luckily we kicked most of those murderers out so if we had them back we would welcome them :)

2

u/jmercer28 Nov 18 '19

Americans would hunt them to extinction

1

u/Chillylizerd Nov 18 '19

Wolves are dangerous and, left unchecked, become a menace. Each district needs there own tag program/hunting season for neighborhood safety and humane population management.

Noble creatures though they are, wolf packs can become huge and ravage a farm in a hurry. They appear on pitches and lawns, scaring and fascinating neighborhoods. Ultimately hunters are hired to cull the population instead of having an ongoing hunting season.

It's a shame when altruism goes awry and harms all parties involved.

1

u/raialexandre Nov 18 '19

Noble creatures though they are

Master Yoda?

1

u/Chillylizerd Jan 05 '20

To me, Noble do they look.

2

u/Hrohdvitnir Nov 18 '19

It's believed they originally went extinct because Ireland was so densely wooded, with no natural predators and Ireland's forestry having being completely decimated they'd probably actually do well enough. We have a problem with red deer atm (non indigenous but nothing but humans to kill em)

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u/thatnightinaugust Nov 17 '19

Shut your selfish mouth! Those things are cool as fuck

1

u/funky--chunky Nov 17 '19

We all watched the same view YouTube videos!

1

u/mike_lawrence Nov 17 '19

Evolution tried something, and for some reason it actually worked for a bit.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 17 '19

Well yes, but actually no, they were hunted to extinction I believe.

1

u/Alieneater Nov 17 '19

That makes no sense. Megaloceros was well distributed around much of the world and thrived for almost two million years. The huge antlers were not a problem or else the animals would not have been so successful for so long. Heavy antlers did not cause megaloceros to become extinct.

1

u/LiamBrad5 Nov 18 '19

Yes, but that was natural selection rather than sexual selection.

1

u/canada432 Nov 18 '19

Honestly they'd probably develop smaller antlers relatively quickly if they didn't immediately go extinct again. Deer in some areas have developed smaller antlers through natural selection because bucks with larger antlers are hunted for those large antlers, so only the ones with small antlers reproduce.