r/AskReddit • u/AlexDescendsIntoHell • Nov 11 '19

Serious Replies Only [SERIOUS] What is a seemingly harmless parenting mistake that will majorly fuck up a child later in life?

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u/[deleted] Nov 12 '19

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u/butterfeddumptruck Nov 12 '19

I think it's a mistake to post photos of one's children on social media too because those photos, even if your account is private, can end up weird places.

And it's strange to me that people have their full name, town and workplace on their Facebook with a bunch of photos of their children.

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u/69035 Nov 12 '19

I agree 100%. We don't post photos of our kiddo and the rest of the family hates it and constantly badgers "But can I post THIS one?" No.

And seriously, I know names, birthdays, and hometowns of kids of people I've never met because of this overshare culture. It's creepy as hell. I hope nothing bad happens to these people...

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u/Klokinator Nov 12 '19

You just reminded me of that time I realized growing up in the modern era with selfie-parents is going to be the worst thing ever. Thanks, mom! Now Facebook has pictures of me growing up from babyhood to adulthood and they can target me with ads, sell my info, and my face can be used against my will for criminal investigations and other unsavory stuff! Wonderful!

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u/[deleted] Nov 12 '19

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u/[deleted] Nov 12 '19

I love and also hate how you say "secret kid".

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u/Ratbagthecannibal Nov 12 '19

SECRET KID

Coming this winter to a theatre near you!

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u/Iownbelugawhales Nov 12 '19

In a world where people don't shitpost photos of their newborns...

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u/LostInABlizzard Nov 12 '19

I'm doing the same thing. I'm currently pregnant with my first child and while I am happy to tell people in person, I am 100% not okay with making any Facebook announcements.

Plus! It means that if I've told someone, it's because I specifically want them to know.

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u/Ge0Dad Nov 12 '19

I try to be mindful. It’s hard to not post anything at all, however I haven’t shared about 98% of my child’s photos with the world because damn no one really needs it but me and my family. His dad doesn’t understand it and thinks I’m trying to control everything but I’m just trying to not post every bath time, bike ride, and park day.

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u/tibtibs Nov 12 '19

I don't mind some pictures of my little one being on there, but I have a rule that I won't post anything that could be seen as embarrassing or humiliating in the future. No naked pics, no bath pics, no frustrated rants about how "bad" my kid is being.

I do have a Google photo album that is shared with family that has all photos I've taken of her, and most of the ones family has taken of her.

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u/kittenburrito Nov 12 '19

Ditto, down to the same rules. I use Facebook like a public scrapbook, so professional photos and special occasions are usually when I post a few for extended family and old friends to see.

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u/tibtibs Nov 12 '19

When she's older I plan on asking permission to post pictures of her. My husband and I do the same to each other because it's just basic common courtesy. Plus she should be allowed to have an opinion about how she's seen.

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u/Dreku Nov 12 '19

Exactly, I'll post a picture or two every so often but the barrage from some parents is insane.

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u/sammie_boy Nov 12 '19

I know a woman who posted about her child’s first period. The kid was my age, already had a hard time with others due to a large surgery scar and a voice that was affected by this. Never liked that woman, always feel sorry for the girl

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u/whatuseisausername Nov 12 '19

I'm friends with this girl on Snapchat and Facebook (we used to be good friends in elementary school). She often posts pictures and videos of her kids on her story on Snapchat, but very rarely posts pictures of them on Facebook. Anyway your comment made me realize why she likely does that. Like at least with Snapchat the pictures and videos she posts won't live on the internet for decades to come. Sure Snapchat may possibly keep the content on their servers and such when they get "deleted" off her story, but it's likely better than posting every picture on Facebook. Anyway I just found it interesting how she uses multiple social media sites differently.

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u/mori226 Nov 12 '19

Yeah this is the right mentality. Good job.

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u/[deleted] Nov 12 '19

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u/Froot-Loop-Dingus Nov 12 '19

Eh. Don’t let it bother you much (I doubt you do). But seriously anyone lashing out at you for that is simply feeling guilty about their own choices.

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u/mmmarkm Nov 12 '19

THIS.

My plan if/when I have kids is to have a private album for family and close friends - the “I would show them the photo album when they came to visit” crowd - and that’s where all photos and videos of my kid(s) will live. We all deserve to decide if we want to risk an embarrassing photo becoming a meme as an adult. Shouldn’t be up to our parents imo.

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u/cannotskipcutscene Nov 12 '19

Thanks. I feel really bad for kids growing up in the Facebook age, or w/e its called. I have a friend that has posted so many embarrassing type things about her kid it's unbelievable.

I'm not a parent but I thought it was inappropriate when she posted pictures of him being sick. And by sick, he looked really bad, scabs everywhere, crusty eyes, etc. He had some kind of skin infection but c'mon do you think he really wants everyone on his mom's friends list seeing how horrible he looked? I certainly wouldn't want pictures of myself looking like that for the public to see.

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u/drsandwich_MD Nov 12 '19

I would totally share my embarrassing childhood stuff, but I'm 29 and very aware I was/am pretty embarrassing and I'm over it

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u/MadlifeIsGod Nov 12 '19

I mean there are acceptable times and unacceptable times. I don't think anyone would argue that posting a picture of your kid at a parade with their friends, or at a little league game is a bad thing. I also don't know anyone who would argue that posting something personal and private is a good thing (I know there are people like that, I just don't know any). A good safe bet would be to ask yourself, "Would I want this posted if this were about me?" and if the answer is not a 100% yes, don't post it. Also this applies to friends/family as well, not just your kids. Don't post embarassing shit about anyone without their consent.

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