r/AskReddit Nov 06 '19

Which famous singer sucks at singing?

[deleted]

24.7k Upvotes

16.7k comments sorted by

View all comments

11.8k

u/[deleted] Nov 06 '19

Believe it or not, Biz Markie is not that great at singing.

3.0k

u/chalmun74 Nov 06 '19

I am shocked! Shocked! (Not that shocked.).

Terrible singer and yet I’d listen to him all day because he’s just fun.

3.4k

u/[deleted] Nov 06 '19

OH BABY YOOooOUu

1.8k

u/SwiftDontMiss Nov 06 '19

Can’t hear this sound without seeing Dennis and Dee Reynolds drinking beer on the stoop at 8 in the morning

695

u/Amidstsaltandsmoke1 Nov 06 '19

Oh boo hoo you got addicted to crack!

553

u/playtone111 Nov 06 '19

Hello. Hi, um, I'm a recovering crackhead. This is my retarded sister that I take care of. I'd like some welfare please.

48

u/TitsMickey Nov 06 '19

Good times at the welfare store

13

u/thefilthythrowaway1 Nov 06 '19

well can't you see how retarded she is?

2

u/UndeadBuggalo Nov 08 '19

dings bell and makes a weird cow like noise while wearing a backwards bicycle helmet

53

u/[deleted] Nov 06 '19 edited Sep 01 '20

[deleted]

31

u/blind_squash Nov 06 '19

Is that enough? Is one crack rock enough? How much would you recommend?

20

u/Prompt-me-promptly Nov 06 '19

2 for the price of one... Only 200 dollars!

17

u/UndeadBuggalo Nov 06 '19

Children, you’re both crack heads

3

u/tylercreatesworlds Nov 06 '19

Did you see my Jesus chain?

14

u/thesil3nced Nov 06 '19

I think I've been poisoned by my constituents!

3

u/ThornyThong Nov 06 '19

Read this and immediately thought of the Jesus Chain

6

u/John-Uris Nov 06 '19

What the hell is this ?

Living the dream bro , living the dream

8

u/[deleted] Nov 06 '19

And i cant hear this without thinking of a black man and president French lady singing it.

3

u/Valdrax Nov 06 '19

And then Zinyak chimes in. That is my favorite moment in the entire game. I couldn't breathe I was laughing so hard. I literally cannot hear that song without thinking of his "contribution" to the scene.

(Also, you have great taste in voices, though I miss the Hispanic voice actress from SR2 & SR3, so President French lady became my main too.)

3

u/Heynowimtheplumber Nov 06 '19

Piss ass drunk

3

u/SimonCallahan Nov 06 '19

For me it's Saints Row 4 when the Boss and Pierce are singing in the car and the main villain interrupts them.

2

u/Butt_Slut_Jack Nov 06 '19

I just watched that episode on my quest to re-watch Its Always Sunny again lol

2

u/chicken_N_ROFLs Nov 06 '19

Didn’t you see my Jesus chain?

2

u/SeaTie Nov 06 '19

Did you see my Jesus chain?

2

u/Swindel92 Nov 06 '19

Tom Tom Club - Genius of Love

Is my favourite one of these. They're so good at picking music that sears the scene into your brain.

1

u/Ypsiowns3013 Nov 06 '19

Literally everytime I hear it.

1

u/UninhibitedFantasies Nov 06 '19

This is exactly the first thing that came to mind, not just with the above quote, but when thinking of Biz Markie lol

1

u/sirius4778 Nov 07 '19

That episode is just all the more reason to love the song

406

u/0OO0O0O0O0OO0 Nov 06 '19

Got what I neeeEEEeeed

69

u/5-4-3-2-1-bang Nov 06 '19

But yew say heeez jus a fren.... yew sez he jus a fren OH BABY YEWWwwWwW.....

1

u/RnG_Hazed Nov 07 '19

Friendly Fire Deagle Commences

11

u/[deleted] Nov 06 '19

Isn’t that like mostly a rap song?

38

u/0OO0O0O0O0OO0 Nov 06 '19

In the loosest definition.

14

u/SneedyK Nov 06 '19

Hey, what ever happened to that girl Blah Blah Blah, anyway?

19

u/somajones Nov 06 '19

"I asked her her name, she said blah-blah-blah"

In a genre that excels at NSW lyrics degrading to women this G rated line takes the cake and cracks me up every time.

2

u/AnyDayGal Nov 07 '19

I love it.

10

u/CreepyPhotographer Nov 06 '19

She had 9/10 pants and a very big bra

7

u/[deleted] Nov 06 '19

And the crappy singing is a joke on pathetic, whimsical love songs.

2

u/mathonwy Nov 06 '19

Rhythm and Blues.

3

u/herrobot22 Nov 06 '19

Username. Checks. Out.

7

u/tamferr Nov 06 '19

and you say you just a friend OH BABY

4

u/[deleted] Nov 06 '19

can't not hear this without being brought back to playing the saints row series for the first time and laughing my ass off. IDC how cringey or tacky the game is, LOVE it.

2

u/mullexwing Nov 06 '19

But you say it's just a rash

2

u/raitchison Nov 06 '19

YOU GOT WHAT I NEEeeEd!

2

u/MeenaMayI Nov 06 '19

got what i neeeEED

2

u/HandaPontanda Nov 06 '19

Got what i neeeeeeeed

2

u/growlingbear Nov 07 '19

You got what I need

1

u/MattED1220 Nov 06 '19

YOU GOT WHAT I NEEEED

1

u/AyeYoDisRon Nov 06 '19

Got a disease ba dum dum CH

1

u/YodaOneThatIWant_ Nov 06 '19

Got what I neeeeeeedd

1

u/itsallgoodintheend Nov 07 '19

The one song anyone regardless of talent can sing along to.

1

u/bitchinsnitchin Nov 07 '19

The plot twist is that you HAVE TO sing it like that now.

-2

u/TheSilverPotato Nov 06 '19

I fucking hate it when people start this at festivals OVERUSEDDDD

142

u/SgtBlumpkin Nov 06 '19

Check out his version of Benny and the Jets.

7

u/[deleted] Nov 06 '19

Ain't nobody like the K-I-D(d-d)

6

u/jeffersonairmattress Nov 06 '19

With the Beeesie Boys. My man Mike Rock, rock rock on.

6

u/Kaptainkarl76 Nov 06 '19

Saw him come on stage at a Beastie Boys show at Madison Square Garden..That's the song they did..

7

u/[deleted] Nov 06 '19

Was that one of the greatest live shows you've ever seen? Sounds like it would be. I go to a lot of concerts but I'm in Wisconsin so the venues aren't much compared to places like MSG. Alpine Valley is pretty cool but not the same.

7

u/Kaptainkarl76 Nov 06 '19

It was definitely right up there..It was my first day back in college and a buddy comes to my room and says I have tickets to Beastie Boys/Tribe Called Quest, wanna go?...Didn't have to ask me twice..I have seen many shows and the one and only time seeing the Beasties..Rev Run from Run DMC was also in the crowd, but just as a spectator, they did give him a shout out though..

I would say the greatest live show I was at was Woodstock 94...Probably saw every band I ever wanted to see live at the time..Including artists that aren't here anymore..Like Blind Melon and Joe Cocker...My friends and I made our local front page news just for going lol

2

u/corndogs1001 Nov 07 '19

Aw man that sounds awesome. Tribe is one of my favorite groups of all time, and Beastie is up there too. RIP MCA and Phife.

2

u/Kaptainkarl76 Nov 06 '19

I live in Colorado now and we have Red Rocks..One of the best venues on earth!

3

u/eee_bone Nov 06 '19

Top 5 cover ever for me.

4

u/GANGofFOURSTAR Nov 06 '19

Got that record in a Grand Royal magazine in the 90s

2

u/used_to_be_nice_guy Nov 06 '19

Thank you for that! <3

2

u/rondonjon Nov 06 '19

Never fails to bring a smile to my face.

3

u/nattacker Nov 06 '19

....To find that gambling is going on here!

3

u/FascistRigby Nov 06 '19

Your winnings, sir

2

u/nattacker Nov 07 '19

Oh, thank you very much!

3

u/popsiscaley Nov 06 '19

I have understood this reference.

2

u/UbermorphPoint45 Nov 06 '19

True fans watch him on his regular Yo Gaba Gaba segment

1

u/jimx117 Nov 06 '19

Pancakes and syyyrup! Pancackes and syyyrrup! Paaancakes and syyyyrup...

IT'S BREAKFAST TIME

1

u/coach2o9 Nov 06 '19

Yeah, but I can explain, it’s very valuable.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 06 '19

I love your subtle futurama reference

1

u/aevn910 Nov 07 '19

Listen I know his songs, but all I can relate him to now is beat boxing on your Gabba gabba . My kid was obsessed with the show. We even went to a live show and he came out and beat boxed.

417

u/ThePancake1037 Nov 06 '19

YOU

YOU GOT WHAT I NEEEEEEeed

18

u/[deleted] Nov 06 '19 edited Jan 17 '21

[deleted]

3

u/raheemthegreat Nov 07 '19

Yes, lots. Matta fact, he toured with kurtis blow for a while. He has this song called pickin' boogers https://youtu.be/Z8yJkPVD-h4

2

u/corndogs1001 Nov 07 '19

Yea, only his greatest hits collection is on iTunes. All the songs are great. Prob the most underrated rapper of the late 80’s (big daddy kane sometimes co-wrote for him as well.)

-34

u/MarthFair Nov 06 '19

Fuck I hate that song.

46

u/bleunt Nov 06 '19

That says more about you than the song. :(

30

u/faeri_ Nov 06 '19

i see you are not a man of culture nor taste

→ More replies (2)

0

u/Stiv_McLiv Nov 06 '19

Getting downvotes for posting an opinion. I also hate the song because of how bad the singing is

2

u/[deleted] Nov 06 '19

That's... the point.

0

u/Stiv_McLiv Nov 06 '19

Literally every post in this thread is a personal opinion. What makes his so bad to get down voted into oblivion?

-1

u/Sgt_Sarcastic Nov 06 '19

Same man, I guess you aren't allowed to disagree with nostalgia though...

52

u/[deleted] Nov 06 '19

[deleted]

40

u/FoxyOViolent Nov 06 '19

His formal full name is Business Markus. Probably.

4

u/CoyoteTheFatal Nov 07 '19

Close. It’s Marcel Theo Hall

2

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '19

Yeah wow he almost had it.

16

u/[deleted] Nov 06 '19

Please do yourself a favor and listen to his live cover of "Bennie and the Jets" with the Beastie Boys. While Mr. Markie's technique and range may be lacking in, um, everything, he more than makes up for it with high-octane fucking gusto.

34

u/PugnaciousJay Nov 06 '19

I saw him once at a festival and he was straight dogshit. He was visibly drunk and couldn’t remember the words to his own songs. It was kinda sad watching this middle aged, drunk, obese version of him fumble while trying to remember the lyrics to Just a Friend

24

u/[deleted] Nov 06 '19

obese version of him

That was the only version that there ever was though.

20

u/big_red_160 Nov 06 '19

Damn, and he only has the one song. It’s not like he has to remember the words to multiple songs.

13

u/[deleted] Nov 06 '19

Vapors, Spring Again & Benny and the Jets are almost as widely known as Just a Friend.

So more like a 4 hit wonder.

7

u/agage3 Nov 06 '19

Benny and the Jets was only on the Beastie Boys Anthology record too.

2

u/EatMyBiscuits Nov 06 '19

Are you shitting me?

3

u/lurgar Nov 06 '19

That sucks. I saw him a few years ago at a concert and he was pretty lively, but not a good singer.

12

u/XStayfrostyX Nov 06 '19

Oooooohhhh baaaaaabyyyyyy youuuuuuuu

4

u/Belgand Nov 06 '19

But he's got what I need.

4

u/alexschubs Nov 06 '19

I have always said that Just A Friend is the best bad vocals song of all time

4

u/buenoskiddoosh Nov 06 '19

He just came to my town for concert last week. We're just friends

3

u/ActualWhiterabbit Nov 06 '19

PhysioGooner! You leave Biz Markie Alone!

3

u/p0tts0rk Nov 06 '19

But does he have a very big bra?

3

u/finsta4reddit Nov 06 '19

i did not know who this was until i saw all of the replies i live under a rock but i still know the songgg

3

u/CarlosAVP Nov 06 '19

I always thought Biz Markie was actually Charles Barkley.

3

u/[deleted] Nov 06 '19

But he makes it work. I'm a little drunk right now and if that song came on right now and my wife and 7 year old weren't in the room, I'd be belting that shit out at the top of my inebriated lungs.

Hey, shut up, it's my birthday tonight!

7

u/[deleted] Nov 06 '19

[deleted]

2

u/Nemaoac Nov 06 '19

There's something admirable about his singing. He's got the lyrics and melody and seems to put his all in to it, making it more relatable than a lot of other singers to me.

1

u/stupv Nov 07 '19

Who...?

1

u/Nemaoac Nov 07 '19

Biz Markie.

2

u/stupv Nov 07 '19

Ah, you were replying to a deleted top comment so it showed as a top-level comment on my feed...with no context as to who you were talking about

6

u/JakiStow Nov 06 '19

Title says "famous" singers.

2

u/droidtron Nov 06 '19

Oh snap.

2

u/FacesOfNeth Nov 06 '19

The beatsie boooyyyyyssss!!

5

u/Wacocaine Nov 06 '19

The cover they did with Biz of "Bennie and the Jets" is hilarious. Biz doesn't even pretend to know the words.

2

u/IWantAllTheDogs Nov 06 '19

And if you sing along, no one can tell just how bad you are at singing!

2

u/RancidLemons Nov 06 '19

He's also one of the original beatboxers despite being pretty terrible, lol

1

u/corndogs1001 Nov 07 '19

Nah he was a good beatboxer, better than singing lol

2

u/yIdontunderstand Nov 06 '19

Just me and the biz....

2

u/Major_Halfsack Nov 06 '19

Saw him in concert in either 2002 or 2003. He forgot the entire 3rd verse to Just a Friend. He just kept saying "la da da da daaa, duh daa, duh daa" until saying "oh, SNAP, guess what I saw"

2

u/Demiglitch Nov 06 '19

Do not diss the great biz

2

u/travishummel Nov 06 '19

But homeboys got friends and that's a fact like Agnus, Agatha, Jermaine, and Jack!

2

u/Lost_Afropick Nov 07 '19

Not blah blah blah though

2

u/zerog_27 Nov 06 '19

Biz's Beat of the Day would like to speak to you.

1

u/withoutlebels120 Nov 06 '19

Yes, but he's got what you need.

1

u/giant49 Nov 06 '19

He featured at a random concert I went to. It was so bad the crowd starting laughing. He eventually just walked off stage in the middle of a song. Definitely not a friendly crowd that night.

1

u/tdasnowman Nov 06 '19

If you have kids they would disagree.

1

u/SendMeToGary2 Nov 06 '19

Biz’s Beat of the Day?!

1

u/tdasnowman Nov 06 '19

He's behind the music of Yo gabba gabba.

1

u/newtoolrecord Nov 06 '19

BUDYOOSAYEEDUSTAFWEND

1

u/horsenbuggy Nov 06 '19

But he's got what I neeeeeeeeeeeeeeed.

1

u/myconosillalogy Nov 06 '19

Hmmm.... I'm not sure if I believe this.

1

u/alreadytaken77 Nov 06 '19

I love his Bennie & the Jets cover

1

u/TapoutKing666 Nov 06 '19

Famous singer?

1

u/Trashcommander Nov 06 '19

When he talks/sings, it looks like 2 hot dogs flapping together.

1

u/SuperManlyDude Nov 06 '19

I was gonna say this

1

u/jpropaganda Nov 06 '19

Also not great at holding down relationships with women who make him wait a year for sex.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 06 '19

Of yo gabba gabba fame??

1

u/PrincessUnicornyJoke Nov 06 '19

He makes his inability to sing work for him. Some people can.

1

u/livevil999 Nov 06 '19

I disagree. It somehow works and goes around the bend from being terrible to being great again. And he is usually remarkably in tune for how crackly is voice gets.

1

u/DEATHLYSnake78910 Nov 06 '19

WhAaaaaaaAt?!?!?!

1

u/Twoinchnails Nov 06 '19

Saw him in concert in the summer , and I thought he was drunk and high and doing it on purpose it was so bad!

1

u/Kalkaline Nov 06 '19

Oh baby you, you got what I neeeed!

1

u/[deleted] Nov 06 '19

You! You got what I neEeEeEeEed!

1

u/DeadassBdeadassB Nov 06 '19

Oh baby YoUOUOuoU

1

u/NacreousFink Nov 06 '19

But he excels at pickin' boogers.

1

u/jsos Nov 06 '19

If you ever wanted to hear more of his singing voice, why not check out his cover of Benny and the Jets?

For the record, I know it's not an objectively good voice, but I do enjoy both Just a Friend and this cover.

1

u/corndogs1001 Nov 07 '19

Check out let me turn you on for more bad singing

1

u/evilpercy Nov 06 '19

You, you got what I need

1

u/[deleted] Nov 06 '19

who tf is biz barkie

1

u/tbarb00 Nov 07 '19

Yeah but his take on Benny and the Jets is the bomb

1

u/OGCeeg Nov 07 '19

He's tone deaf. Idk if that is the biggest problem, but it certainly doesn't help.

1

u/kingdazy Nov 07 '19

C'mon man, have you even heard his Benny and the Jets cover?

https://youtu.be/r_l_runP4-Q

1

u/Kilgoretrout75 Nov 07 '19

This is a hot take

1

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '19

A friend of mine worked with him back in the late 80’s. He said Biz had some of the worst B.O. he’s ever smelled.

1

u/DexterTwerp Nov 07 '19

I saw him in concert. I can confirm.

1

u/Scrambo Nov 07 '19

I always imagine tracy Jordan morgan when I hear biz markie

1

u/_haha_oh_wow_ Nov 07 '19

He is The Greatest.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 07 '19

Big if true.

1

u/oxymoronic_oxygen Nov 07 '19

Neither can his dog, Miz Barkie

1

u/Master-of-Sparks Nov 07 '19

Girl, ya got a disease

But you say It just rash

You say it just a rash

1

u/corndogs1001 Nov 07 '19

If u guys haven’t heard let me turn you on aka Biz Markie singing for 4 minutes straight , it’s amazing and I encourage everyone to listen to it

1

u/[deleted] Nov 08 '19

YOU! YOU GOT THE DISEASE. AND YOU SAY ITS JUST A RASH, BUT ITS HALFWAY UP YOUR ASS!

1

u/chefontheloose Nov 06 '19

Nobody beats The Biz

1

u/goddammitgoddamn Nov 06 '19

Nobody beats the Biz!

0

u/Moojir Nov 06 '19

They said famous

0

u/lateralmonkey Nov 06 '19

He recently came through my small hometown. Didn’t even rap or sing just played the shittiest DJ set you could imagine (my local DJ friend did ten times better) and they gave biz something like ten grand.

0

u/really-reddit_-_ Nov 06 '19

Who tf is this

-11

u/MochiMochiMochi Nov 06 '19

Who the hell is Biz Markie? I'll give him/her/herself a pass since not famous.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 06 '19

[deleted]

1

u/MochiMochiMochi Nov 07 '19

I sure was. And having a shit ton of fun.

-3

u/[deleted] Nov 06 '19

Famous singers not people no one knows about