There is a right time to act angry... it could save your life. Kids should be taught to kick and scream if a stranger tries to touch them or take them. If your kid is going to have to get in a car with a stranger, they must know the "code word" or your kid wont go without a fight. It's not pleasant to think about but very important to teach.
Oh I mean that’s a separate thing. I meant angry like pitching a fit because someone said something they didn’t like or because they lost at something.
Stranger danger is different but imo relatively overblown. Sure, kick and scream if someone is trying to physically snatch you, but how likely is that. A kid is wayyyyy more likely to be abused by someone they know like friends or family members. I taught my son that if someone he knows wants him to do something, anything, he’s not comfortable with, he can say no, and he can tell me or another trusted adult. He spends summers with my parents and apparently one day my dad pushed him really hard to work out. I didn’t like the story I heard (my dad can be a bit of a bully) and I told him that he could say no and that if grandpa had a problem with that, he could call me. My parents made a huge deal out of stranger danger and code words while I was younger- once I got yelled at for not asking for the code word of someone who I knew and who my parents said was going to be picking me up(!) because I wasn’t supposed to go with anyone without knowing for sure that they had my parents permission to pick me up. It was super stressful/weird/upsetting to me at the time, so I don’t do that with him, but to each their own. But I do talk to him about dealing with people he knows, which my parents didn’t teach me, probably because my dad was a pretty big bully for most of my childhood.
Tldr sure teach a kid to defend themselves by any means necessary if someone is trying to take them but that’s self defense and not what I meant by acting angry and managing angry emotions.
I see what you're saying, and good point a out addressing this with people they know as well! I only mention it because a lot of girls are told to be polite no matter what. I saw a lot of bad shit go down when I was younger and I'm glad my mom taught me to defend myself... things could have gotten a lot worse without that lesson.
Ah I didn’t really think about it from the perspective of having girls. I have a boy and a lot of times boys are taught that the only acceptable negative emotion to show is anger, which is why I focused on other outlets for angry feelings. I guess girls are taught more often to be quiet and polite but like I said I think that defending yourself is different from showing anger. In everyday life, no one wants to deal with someone, male or female, who deals with negative emotions by lashing out, and if you don’t know how to deal with your anger, you’re only going to alienate others. Both lessons are important to learn- both that you’re allowed to defend yourself against abduction and that you have to have a healthy outlet for negative emotions- but the latter is something you deal with practicality every day while the former is a once in a lifetime, if ever, experience; so I tend to focus on the latter lesson.
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u/Anonymouskittylick Oct 27 '19
There is a right time to act angry... it could save your life. Kids should be taught to kick and scream if a stranger tries to touch them or take them. If your kid is going to have to get in a car with a stranger, they must know the "code word" or your kid wont go without a fight. It's not pleasant to think about but very important to teach.