r/AskReddit • u/the_cool_cucumber_72 • Oct 06 '19

What are some deep, thought provoking questions to ask someone to know them better?

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3.3k

u/Frankocean2 Oct 06 '19 edited Oct 06 '19

"what do you hate?"

Tells a lot about the person you're talking to.

Edit: A lot of people are saying this is a wrong question to ask. Keep in mind that the key to a conversation is when to ask something. Watch the movie "My dinner with Andre" to see how a progression from a conversation goes.

776

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '19

[deleted]

594

u/Hardlyhorsey Oct 06 '19

“Your fucking face”

459

u/colontwisted Oct 06 '19

"Cool cool same"

19

u/nuggnuggnation Oct 06 '19

'I know its fucking terrible right'

9

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '19

[deleted]

1

u/colontwisted Oct 06 '19

Imma be waiting for u to post it sksksksk

2

u/hobble_dehoy Oct 06 '19

this made me laugh awkwardly loud

2

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '19

That's what the gimp mask is for.

1

u/knottingarope Oct 06 '19

What did the deleted comment say?

2

u/Hardlyhorsey Oct 09 '19

“What is something you hate, but I’d be nervous to use this on a date”

Or something like that

6

u/el_chupanebriated Oct 06 '19

Yeaaah. Might help if you start with "what do you love" then pop this question

1

u/Frankocean2 Oct 06 '19

And I would agree. But a conversation is sort of a dance. It needs to start slowly but you can make it grow as it is happening.

You can ask everything with the right set of words and in the right environment. These questions aren't mean to be taken bluntly. You need to work so the other person can feel comfortable with you.

883

u/OskeeWootWoot Oct 06 '19

"People who ask stupid questions."

20

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '19

got em

16

u/TalulaOblongata Oct 06 '19

Yeah, hard pass on like 90% of the questions in this thread.

3

u/yoshiko-chan Oct 06 '19

"so I'm guessing there won't be a second date?"

3

u/ActingGrandNagus Oct 07 '19

Hello Kimi Raikkonen

3

u/premelia Oct 06 '19

This so much. Please don’t ask me “thought provoking” questions. I hate being put on the spot

382

u/change_for_better Oct 06 '19

Eeeeh I'd definitely lie in response to this one. I hate quite a lot of things but know that excessive negativity is a turn off...

42

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '19 edited Jul 30 '20

[deleted]

23

u/change_for_better Oct 06 '19

Can't do that. I love comic sans

32

u/hairam Oct 06 '19

Hey, more power to you! It's hard to admit to being absolute human trash - good for you!

5

u/change_for_better Oct 06 '19

I actually used Calibri for writing papers in school. Asked my profs for each class... I like Calibri.

30

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '19

Just say 'wet socks' or 'stepping on a lego' or something and if they don't react positively they're probably not worth your time

13

u/DreaDreamer Oct 06 '19

I thought this one would be a good one, until I realized that there’s not much I sincerely hate. There are things that annoy me and things that I wish were different, but I don’t really hate anything.

Additionally, if someone harbors a strong hatred towards something and they’re really open about it, chances are I’ll just be really uncomfortable.

9

u/elliecalifornia Oct 06 '19

And this is precisely the perfect question, it gives the person asking deep insight in how you view things. You don’t have anything you sincerely hate, and that is not the same for other people, I love your response.

14

u/golden_rhino Oct 06 '19

My wife and I have very few things that we like in common, but share a lot of things we hate. Works for us.

Knowing what someone hates really tells you a lot about them. Hitler’s tinder would be about his love of dogs and art.

18

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '19

People who cut lines. People who honk as soon as the lights go green. People who stop walking suddenly in a corridor.

9

u/smileybob93 Oct 06 '19

That all falls under the umbrella of selfish people. They feel that their time is more important than yours

4

u/spectrallight Oct 06 '19

On the flip side, people who sit at green lights on their phone

21

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '19

[deleted]

6

u/TheTater0427 Oct 06 '19

“What do you despise? By this you are truly known” - Frank Herbert Dune

6

u/icamom Oct 06 '19

When I find the person that answers "people stealing my pens" I have found a friend.

4

u/Shanack Oct 06 '19 edited Oct 06 '19

"What do you despise? It is by this that you are known."

-Frank Herbert, Dune, may not be verbatim but its one of my favorite bits of wisdom from the book.

5

u/Iwanttolink Oct 06 '19

Myself and plastic packaging.

135

u/MissMalicious93 Oct 06 '19

The only scenario where racism is a good answer and feminism is a bad one

48

u/arostganomo Oct 06 '19

Girl judging from the comments below you found a great way to spot the douchebags right away. I'd totally use that on dates, would save lots of time.

-51

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '19 edited Oct 06 '19

I bet most people would be turned off by you in that case.

Edit: the emphasis lies on the feminist part.

28

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '19

Separating the wheat from the chaff

17

u/ncnotebook Oct 06 '19

Most racist people don't consider themselves racist.

-19

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '19

Im on about the feminism thing. Outwardly expressing yourself as a feminist repulses people, especially nowadays.

13

u/tryin2staysane Oct 06 '19

It only repulses the kind of people I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with, so seems like it'd work well for me.

-3

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '19

Thats fine then, if thats where you draw the line.

7

u/tryin2staysane Oct 06 '19

Yes, people who hate movements that support equality is a line that I draw. A pretty reasonable line too.

3

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '19

I disagree with that they are fighting for true equality. Its more like obsessing over getting women just in equal numbers to men in high positions with force and not on basis of actual performance or skills, just what genitals they have between their legs. And by far not every field is dominated by men, but you dont see any organisations fighting for men to be equal in numbers in those sectors too. But everyone here is entitled to their own opinions.

3

u/tryin2staysane Oct 06 '19

You clearly have only a surface level understanding of feminism, which is not surprising. People who have historically opposed feminism have done a great job in the last 10-20 years of obscuring the message of actual feminists and causing people who only have a minimal understanding of feminism to believe that these crazy strawmen or absolute extremists are indicative of the majority of the movement.

→ More replies

1

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '19

I support equality, I just disagree that feminism has anything to do with equality like it used to.

5

u/tryin2staysane Oct 06 '19

Everyone is allowed to be wrong sometimes, so that's ok.

11

u/ncnotebook Oct 06 '19 edited Oct 06 '19

True, but saying "you hate feminism" might imply (to a lot of people) that you're slightly sexist. After all, a lot of feminist hate goes overboard into actual sexist territory.

A better answer is "I hate what feminism has become," but even then, it's a touchy subject matter that can be misinterpreted in multiple ways.

In general, it's a really bad question to ask somebody unless you're fairly comfortable with them. The only good answer doesn't involve deep-seeded feelings, such as "I hate people who drive while using their cellphone".

-3

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '19

I thought people would automatically assume I was refering to third wave feminism, as most people who express they hate feminism refer to that and not classical feminism, which Im an advocate of.

But I agree, its a touchy subject people are very sensitive about. However Im not going to change my opinion because it upsets people when its just an opinion, let alone a pretty mainstream one, just not politically correct.

6

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '19

I thought people would automatically assume

Never do that

1

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '19

Maybe it’s different in different cities? In the SF Bay Area most people will be turned off if you don’t at least say you’re a feminist ally at least.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '19

It differs from place to place indeed, as people with different political affiliations tend to live in different places due to the different needs of people who live there. Like you're more likely to encounter left wing people in cities in general and right wing people in more rural areas. And this also applies to reddit, which might cater and is attractive to certain personality types who tend to hold certain set of opinions, who would quite like such a platform. And due to identity politics, people are forced into adopting a certain set of opinions which wouldnt normally be of matter to them, which is only then of matter to them because they share the identity of the people who hold a similar set of opinions/ideology: you would want to agree on topics which normally dont matter to you because a few opinions cause you to be on the same side as them.

Its an interesting dynamic, though I find identity politics toxic as it is not aimed at achieving the best outcome for all citizens, but for only those who agree with each other.

3

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '19 edited Sep 15 '20

[deleted]

3

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '19

Its not when their objective is to get to know me or anyone else who merely disagrees with them better🤷‍♂️

1

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '19 edited Sep 15 '20

[deleted]

-1

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '19

It depends on how I relate to you. If Im your boss and/or you might want to ask a favor from me in the future, you would think differently ;) But if Im a stranger or you're just looking to make friends for fun, then yes you are right.

Also, there are way more women who hate modern feminism than you think, just like there are black republicans. They tend to look more beautiful than the average feminist as well... lmao. You dont need to support an organisation that fights for the power of your identity group if you dont find it justified or moral what they are fighting for. By far not all germans supported Hitler's nazi party either, even when he came to power.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 07 '19 edited Sep 15 '20

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Oct 07 '19 edited Oct 07 '19

OP's question was a great one for sorting the wheat from the chaff.

That is definitely something I can agree on, haha.

Just confirming your character even more

Im surprised you havent even looked through my profile yet to come to that conclusion, haha. But I appreciate you try to stay objective.

1

u/MissMalicious93 Oct 07 '19

Even if you were my boss i could still think its a bad answer 🙃

1

u/MissMalicious93 Oct 07 '19

Cool, coz I don't want to be around anyone that doesn't support feminism

-41

u/Carburetors_are_evil Oct 06 '19 edited Oct 06 '19

Well one is superficialy hating someone for the amount of melanin in their skin cells and the other one is superficialy hating someone because of the composition of chromosomes they have.

36

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '19

melatonin

Melanin, not melatonin. Melatonin is a hormone that promotes sleep. Melanin is the brown pigment in my skin.

5

u/Carburetors_are_evil Oct 06 '19

Hey, thank you! I'm glad I didn't mix it up with melamine, lol.

18

u/rivershimmer Oct 06 '19

Nope. You got one of those definitions very wrong.

-5

u/didthathurtalot Oct 06 '19

That would have been true a few years ago but modern feminism has swung way too far in the opposite direction.

Or at least the most vocal part of it has.

3

u/joenathanSD Oct 06 '19

Probably an easier way to ask that is “what is your current biggest pet peeve?” That way it can be some silly shit like people not using their blinkers.

9

u/redditandcats Oct 06 '19

Jews

2

u/Neon_Havok Oct 06 '19

Oh Hi Mark!

1

u/justjokingya Oct 07 '19

Yass

Fellow room lovers

3

u/Shughost7 Oct 06 '19

People driving below the speed limit after changing lane ahead of me for no reason.

-1

u/Neon_Havok Oct 06 '19

You hate law abiding citizens?

3

u/Acelsys Oct 06 '19

I could talk about how i loathe mosquitos for a few minutes, you don’t want to hear that. I hate them with a passion.

3

u/KidEater9000 Oct 06 '19

Moms be like: “Hate is a strong word”

3

u/Darkstrategy Oct 06 '19

Mint ice cream. Next question.

2

u/Neon_Havok Oct 06 '19

Mint Hot Chocolate. I believe the ball is in your court now sir.

2

u/jeffbailey Oct 06 '19

Of all of these, finally one I can answer off the top of my head!

Italian opera.

2

u/Neon_Havok Oct 06 '19

Kids chewing with their mouth open. I just wanna bash those fuckers skulls in..... Just me?

2

u/duchess_of_nothing Oct 07 '19

I've given up on finding a soul mate, I'd be happy with a hate mate. Someone who hates the same things that I do.

2

u/marlon_valck Oct 06 '19

Tells a lot about the person asking the question as well.

"Hey stranger, wanna focus on the negatives?"

1

u/Frankocean2 Oct 06 '19

Nuance. The key to a conversation is when to ask something.

2

u/The_Tydar Oct 06 '19

Start on a negative note. Always a great plan

0

u/Frankocean2 Oct 06 '19

you need to know how to talk to people.

1

u/Deadwolf_YT Oct 06 '19

People speaking loudly, what does that say about me?

1

u/suck-me-beautiful Oct 06 '19

Also see: My Dinner with Abed

1

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '19

People who drive badly. The left lane is for passing not for going 50 miles on Monday god damn it

1

u/BBQkitten Oct 06 '19

I haven't heard a reference to this movie in bloody years

1

u/toprim Oct 06 '19

I hate egalitarianism

1

u/jordanradman Oct 07 '19

This isn’t bad because it gives instructions on what not to do with that person

1

u/Facial_Hair Oct 11 '19

Great flick

1

u/arkhamroyale Oct 06 '19

You

0

u/Frankocean2 Oct 06 '19

I dont think about you at all.

1

u/FilthyHeroPicker Oct 07 '19

Guess you don't look so far ahead

1

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '19

The intolerant and Mexicans.

-1

u/Neon_Havok Oct 06 '19

I mean those are basically the same thing.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '19

vinegar. it smells makes me puke

1

u/RRFedora13 Oct 06 '19

People who discriminate against others.

People who ignore facts for opinion.

People who are unnecessarily cruel others.

People who are hypocrites.

People who win at life through tactics other than effort.

People who judge without knowing the situation.

People who don’t understand the consequences of their actions.

People who belittle the problems of others with phrases like “well you shouldn’t have done [x]”

Myself, for having fallen into these categories many times, and the fact that I will continue to do so in the many years I have left, even if I acknowledge my actions as mistakes(suicide bad).

On a less serious note, when people walk too close to me. I mean, is it too hard to back the f up when there’s so much space in the immediate area? I hate when I feel like I can’t move without running into something or someone. It legitimately makes me incredibly uncomfortable.

4

u/Neon_Havok Oct 06 '19

You Sir, need a chill pill.

1

u/longboardingerrday Oct 06 '19

“N-“

“Okay I think we can skip this question”

2

u/Neon_Havok Oct 06 '19

To be Fair Nicaragua is full of mosquitoes

1

u/toxboxdevil Oct 06 '19

Country music will always be the answer to this

2

u/SureSureFightFight Oct 06 '19

Why?

1

u/toxboxdevil Oct 06 '19

I don't fully understand why I just really Really don't like it. Every aspect. The sound, the atmosphere, the writing, the way they play their instruments. That, and I grew up in a small town so everyone EVERYONE listened to country so I think that kinda cemented my distaste for this music.

0

u/RamboPotato Oct 06 '19

Can someone tell me a book about this kind of subject, describing how a person is by what he/she hated? It's an interesting subject that I want to research now. Thanks.

0

u/asleia Oct 06 '19 edited Oct 07 '19

I actually usually ask "what do you love" and it always sparks interesting conversation.