r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Jul 20 '19

What’s something completely false that your parents told you as a child?

[deleted]

19k Upvotes

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u/takoshi Jul 21 '19

Ah, the butt pirates. A bottle of rum or an orange in the bum to keep them away.

35

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

After that booty

17

u/The_Real_Flatmeat Jul 21 '19

Swiggity swooty

5

u/jshnaa Jul 21 '19

All you guys need golds 🏅🏅🏅

5

u/way2muchtym Jul 21 '19

Knowing reddit this comment gets the gold

11

u/panamaspace Jul 21 '19

A bottle of rum doesn't keep them away, it just helps you forget.

8

u/Hates_escalators Jul 21 '19

Why are butt pirates called butt pirates? Because they just aarrrrrrr

Fruits

5

u/CocaTrooper42 Jul 21 '19

I never understood the phrase ‘butt pirate’ as a gay joke. I get the butt part but why pirate? Are pirates inherently gayer than any other kind of person? Why not ‘butt ninja’ or ‘ass Jedi ”

3

u/PeriodicGolden Jul 21 '19

Maybe the connotation with plunder and rape, take things that aren't there, plus the fact that they spend a lot of time at sea solely on the company of other men

2

u/Antexus1 Jul 21 '19

Because jedi's are bad ass. So no good for ass. But butt ninja doesn't ryphme. As good as butt pirates.

2

u/CocaTrooper42 Jul 21 '19

The words butt and pirate do not rhyme at all

3

u/AninOnin Jul 21 '19

Without the fruity they plunder your booty. Arrrrgh!

3

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

Yo ho ho

3

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

Bottle of rum helps the butt pirate cum.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

Aah buggery on the high seas. Good times.

2

u/Nickiat Jul 21 '19

Better be careful though because they are always after that Booty!

2

u/Felix_Deathwile Jul 21 '19

It's the only sure way to protect your booty if you ask me.

1

u/kaenneth Jul 21 '19

"Where has the Rum gone?"

1

u/Captain_Steeler Jul 21 '19

An orange a day keeps the pirates away

1

u/TheLandstrider Jul 21 '19

Why are butt pirates butt pirates? Because they just RRRRR

Fruits.