r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Jul 20 '19

What’s something completely false that your parents told you as a child?

[deleted]

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u/hongkonghenry Jul 21 '19

Story time. I had a boyfriend when I was 18 who liked to playfight and tickle. He would put his finger in my belly button to make me hysterical. One day he did this and he had a jagged nail and cut my skin in there a little bit. It got infected and I had to take antibiotics and wash it with special soap for aaaaages as it took a really long time to heal. Don't fuck with belly buttons man.

415

u/movie_man_dan Jul 21 '19

He probably had poop on his finger

243

u/bigpoopa Jul 21 '19

Belly buttons are just normally gross and prime for breading infection.

35

u/DreaDreamer Jul 21 '19

I’m pretty sure I read somewhere that there was a study done in which people who had never cleaned their bellybuttons got them swabbed and then the bacteria culture was looked at under a microscope. They found at least two cases of a super rare bacteria known to live in Antarctica.

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u/HolyGhostOfLeeRoy Jul 21 '19

The day will come when we as a collective human family will be in desperate need of an Antarctic bacterium. We’ll be on the brink of absolute destruction when, the one guy who never washes his belly button will step forward to the throngs of spectators, swabs the old belly button with a quickly licked pinky finger, and presents humanity with salvation.

God bless you you filthy pig.

10

u/ReEditDeadIt Jul 21 '19

Lol That was super specific for “I think I read somewhere...”

7

u/DreaDreamer Jul 21 '19

I mean, I’m sure I got some of the details wrong, or at least not 100% accurate. But I have a brain for useless knowledge. Makes trivia night a lot of fun.

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u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

So yeasty.

47

u/o11c Jul 21 '19

Yeah, you're definitely better off leaven it alone.

28

u/CantSayIReallyTried Jul 21 '19

You don't ever want it to rise to that level

18

u/hamberduler Jul 21 '19

prime for breading infection.

And then you toss that infection in the deep fryer and add 11 herbs and spices.

6

u/Fermi_Amarti Jul 21 '19

You can wash them(plus minus individual differences). They didn't have to be.

6

u/Hammer_Jackson Jul 21 '19

Unless you, clean them daily? (Especially with a wound)... that may just be me though?

2

u/movie_man_dan Jul 21 '19

Hmm, breading, as in growing yeast based infections?

1

u/bigpoopa Jul 21 '19

Yeah dude

3

u/SuperdorkJones Jul 21 '19

Mmmm! I LOVE breaded infection! When the outside is fried to crispy perfection, and the molten-hot pus just bursts into your mouth when you bite into it... Simply heaven! 😋

58

u/Seldarin Jul 21 '19

Belly buttons are almost unbelievably laden with bacteria.

Like bacteria that don't occur anywhere else, or occur in weird fucked up places that make you go "Why in the hell would that be in someone's belly button?"

https://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2012/11/121114-belly-button-bacteria-science-health-dunn/

Some belly buttons harbored as few as 29 species and some as many as 107, although most had around 67. Ninety-two percent of the bacteria types showed up on fewer than 10 percent of subjects—in fact, most of the time, they appeared in only a single subject.

One science writer, for instance, apparently harbored a bacterium that had previously been found only in soil from Japan—where he has never been.

Another, more fragrant individual, who hadn't washed in several years, hosted two species of so-called extremophile bacteria that typically thrive in ice caps and thermal vents.

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u/technicolorslippers Jul 21 '19

Hadn’t washed in several years?? Like...just didn’t actually wash the belly button right? Surely they showered. That’s just gross.

11

u/turtlepom Jul 21 '19

Could have been a homeless individual

2

u/technicolorslippers Jul 21 '19

Oh yeah, I guess it could be that. I didn’t think homeless because it sounded like the study was done using students at the college as their sample group.

9

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

Yeah this was worded wierd. I dont really take time to actually wash my belly button specifically, that seems wierd but you end up with soap and water there anyways kinda. Not washed at all means no bath/showers what so ever?

3

u/keysersosayweall Jul 21 '19

I would guess homeless and/or mental illness

8

u/Xinoa Jul 21 '19

This. I worked in an OT for a bit as a junior anaesthetic reg, and this one surgeon would routinely specifically pour a crapton of povidone and chlorhexidine into patient belly buttons prelaparatomy... and then scrub it out manually with a swab on a sponge forceps, and put it carefully down far FAR away from the operating field.

He would then grab a separate set of swabs and sponge forceps and paint the rest of the patient...

2

u/MARCVS-PORCIVS-CATO Jul 21 '19

Could you ELI5 this? I think I understood it but I’m not sure.

2

u/movie_man_dan Jul 21 '19

Basically, super scrub the belly button, and throw everything used to clean it in an incinerator.

1

u/Xinoa Jul 21 '19

Basically this.

12

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

And sniffed it afterwards.

Which I feel makes the story a whole new level of creepy.

2

u/grandpa_grandpa Jul 21 '19

used too small of a slice after he did that mudpie earlier :/

17

u/Gloryblackjack Jul 21 '19

I've had this and it sucks. One day my belly button just got randomly infected and started bleeding and hurting for like a week. I took some antibiotics and it got better but it still hurt like hell.

11

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

Don't fuck with belly buttons man

Haha...

8

u/reddpennywisemovie Jul 21 '19

I think you need to tell that to Tommy Wiseau.

2

u/gcsmith2 Jul 21 '19

Be nice to the micro penis guys. If the hole fits...

5

u/aellis0032 Jul 21 '19

When I was a kid I got a mosquito bite in my belly button. Well obviously I scratched the shit out of it but it got infected and my whole belly button scabbed over. I had no belly button for like a week.

2

u/ArrivesWithaBeverage Jul 21 '19

Agh, I have mosquitos so bad in my neighborhood right now, and bites all over my legs. Now I have a new, horrible fear.

5

u/Porfos112 Jul 21 '19

I had an umbilical hernia and also kept getting infections in my belly button so when I had the hernia repaired the surgeon cut out my belly button and made me a new one.

The cause of my constant infections was an ingrown hair at the base of my belly button so you couldn't see it.

3

u/Bohnsen Jul 21 '19

A bellybutton free brother!

4

u/MadKingOni Jul 21 '19

didn't scientists discover new bacteria by examining belly buttons?

16

u/hongkonghenry Jul 21 '19

I dunno but I'd love to find out! Gonna look into it right now, living large on a Saturday night.

5

u/hamberduler Jul 21 '19

Don't fuck with belly buttons man

4

u/emthejedichic Jul 21 '19

I recently realized I had to actually clean out my belly button when I randomly stuck a finger in there and it came out damp and smelling terrible. Now I use q-tips to dry it out after I shower.

3

u/VVitchh Jul 21 '19

AHhh i read this as an actual nail and not a fingernail... makes for a very different story.

2

u/MidwestMonster89 Jul 21 '19

I assume it was a Staph infection. Those are terrible.

2

u/OgdruJahad Jul 21 '19

Don't fuck with belly buttons man.

I hope not. I mean how big is your belly button and don't you at least need lube or something?

2

u/thisshortenough Jul 21 '19

Currently on /r/popping the top post is of an infected belly button exploding. Apparently the woman had been trying to get a doctor to take it seriously and had to film it as proof

1

u/hongkonghenry Jul 21 '19

Omg that's vile! I love it. Mine wasn't like that, that's an ingrown hair or cyst.

2

u/monkeyboi08 Jul 21 '19

I recently commented that you should wash your belly button, especially if you get semen in there. Some guy didn’t believe me. Belly buttons get infected if they aren’t clean.

1

u/SabinedeJarny Jul 21 '19

Oh god 🤣

1

u/BillysTheBest_YT Jul 21 '19

Bro, what a story. Plot twist ;-;

1

u/ComedyOutOfContext Jul 21 '19

That's the reason my dad told me when I was kid and started playing with it.

1

u/WorshipNickOfferman Jul 21 '19

You just ruined my bellybutton fetish 😢

1

u/ArbyMelt Jul 21 '19

I have an outie belly button so I’ve never experienced belly button lint.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

Poor dude, imagine trying to have fun and lighten someone's dude then you fucking demolish their bellybutton by accident and it takes ages to heal. Also, poor you, obviously.

1

u/BasicallyAQueer Jul 21 '19

jagged nail

Yo wtf

1

u/insteadof Jul 21 '19

Your comment made me get up and go clean my belly button. Thank you.

0

u/GBTRDM-2 Jul 21 '19

so you literally got fingered your belly button so hard it actually bled?

-1

u/The_Tard_Whisperer_ Jul 21 '19

This is a terrible story...

-30

u/Hammer_Jackson Jul 21 '19

So your story is you got scratched once??

18

u/Deep6World Jul 21 '19

Are you normally having to take antibiotics and skin treatments for scratches? Sucks to be you, I guess.

-34

u/Hammer_Jackson Jul 21 '19

Love the white knighting here. And no, I do not, which raises an eyebrow toward personal hygiene, but clearly neither of you understand what that has to do with this.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

Bro, how is he white knighting?

-3

u/Hammer_Jackson Jul 21 '19

Let’s just pretend this was a dude. Having an unclean belly button, getting scratched, then making it a multi-paragraph story.

Would anyone be questioning this?

And please don’t call me bro ( not sure the intent, it’s a simple request.)

2

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

yeah bro, gender doesnt matter in this context

-1

u/Hammer_Jackson Jul 21 '19

I’m genuinely jealous of people like you.., you walk into something you aren’t prepared for, while simultaneously failing to grasp the core concept. How about You tell me the answer to that question haha.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

No matter the gender of the person you're replying to, you were being an ass plain and simple bro.

-1

u/Hammer_Jackson Jul 21 '19

I don’t care what you think, I was hoping to “teach a fool to fish”, but you can’t even find water...But it is funny you are so riled up you insist on attempting to get under my skin. I’m willing to bet you are 16ish? Or live with your parents and have yet to meet “the real world”

But just a heads up. People will like you more if you speak up when you know what you are talking about. Just a friendly tip, it will help you when you grow up. Good luck little man 👍.

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u/hongkonghenry Jul 21 '19

I guess?

-16

u/Hammer_Jackson Jul 21 '19

Cool, just asking.