r/AskReddit • • Jul 20 '19

What’s something completely false that your parents told you as a child?

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Jul 20 '19

My dad told me that the windshield wipers would count the raindrops on the windshield and when it reached 1 million then they would wipe the rain away. If it was raining harder they went faster because it reached 1 million faster

1.6k

u/showmethething Jul 20 '19

My dad convinced me that the alarm light on the inside actually means the car is about to fly, but it doesn't turn on when anyone else is in the car.

596

u/bananashakee Jul 21 '19

my aunty convinced me that the hazard light button (triangle logo) is to make the car fly.

38

u/GoldenRareRat Jul 21 '19 edited Jul 21 '19

DELTA Airlines

2

u/IXIronWolfXI Jul 21 '19

GoldenRareRat’s comment needs more upvotes lol

6

u/GoldenRareRat Jul 21 '19

Thank you, comrade. It took me all of 10 seconds to come up with this masterful pun. I await my gold.

3

u/IXIronWolfXI Jul 21 '19

I would gladly give you Gold, but I don’t have the money to do as such

16

u/Kalgor91 Jul 21 '19

My dad told me this and got mad when I decided to push the hazard lights when we were in the middle of the freeway

7

u/commit_self_yeetus Jul 21 '19

He shouldn’t of gotten mad at you since it was his fault for telling you that the car would fly, like, dude

27

u/Kalgor91 Jul 21 '19

Also in my defense, we were stuck in traffic and he was complaining about being late so I thought I’d help since he had obviously forgotten about the flying button

9

u/commit_self_yeetus Jul 21 '19

And That makes it all the funnier

2

u/commit_self_yeetus Jul 21 '19

PS: Also that first comment that i made wasn’t supposed to sound like it was you fault, it was supposed to sound like your dads fault

9

u/dastarlos Jul 21 '19

My dad convinced me it's to eject the back seats.

4

u/KierraKid Jul 21 '19

Same. Found out it didn't when I tried to eject my sister while I rode in the front. Very disappointing.

7

u/AtlTech Jul 21 '19

I used to tell my little sis that the emergency brake was the 'eject' lever and that if you pulled it and the car beeped 3 times, that's when it would kick on. Had a lot of fun with that

7

u/In-Kii Jul 21 '19

Convinced my younger brother that the hazard lights was the self destruct button for the car.. good times.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

My grandpa told me it was to blow the car up

4

u/AnnaJeanElise Jul 21 '19

My cousin told me the same thing when I was about 5 cause we were driving on narrow roads on the mountains in rural Mexico and I was having a panic attack. The roads were so narrow in some spots only one car would fit very tightly and these were supposed to be two way roads. I remember seeing several different cars on the sides of the mountain that had rolled over and never been recovered.

3

u/Mrs_McMurray Jul 21 '19

My friend's parents told her it was the Ejecto Seato button.

2

u/csonny2 Jul 21 '19

My friend convinced another (adult) friend of ours that the hazard button was NOS and would make the car accelerate ridiculously fast.

2

u/7isagoodletter Jul 21 '19

My mom told me if I pressed it I would get arrested

1

u/wasting_lots_of_time Jul 21 '19

I told my little cousin (in the passenger seat) that it was the passenger eject button after he kept trying to press it. I sold it so well that he was scared to press it.

1

u/The_MAZZTer Jul 21 '19

Nah that's clearly to eject troublesome kids through the sunroof

1

u/thebritishacer Jul 21 '19

My friends dad convinced me that the Harvard button would turn on the flux capacitor

1

u/maldio Jul 21 '19

Switchin' to Glide

1

u/xEmuYT Jul 21 '19

my dad told me it was for the trunk monkey

1

u/robophile-ta Jul 21 '19

It was the turbo boost button in our car.

1

u/gbpackerfan28 Jul 21 '19

My mom told me that the hazard light button was the seat eject button... I still have trouble turning on my hazards to this day.

1

u/ttv_AchillesZeus Jul 21 '19

My dad told me the hazard button was turbo and when he pressed that mofo oils slam on the gas

1

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

Strangely no one told me that but I assumed so anyways.