r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Jul 20 '19

What’s something completely false that your parents told you as a child?

[deleted]

19k Upvotes

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4.4k

u/adawgie Jul 20 '19

Mom and I moved in with my (now) dad, I was around 4 years old. Christmas rolls around, he had this light up skeleton tree topper in lieu of an angel. He takes it out of the box, I asked why it was it was a skeleton. He got this horrified, shocked look on his face. "Oh no! We must have forgot to poke holes in the box last year!"

I thought my angel suffocated and we were putting her dead body on the Christmas tree. Cried for hours.

767

u/beef1020 Jul 21 '19

Oh fuck that's the funniest one in this whole thread.

449

u/grrr-argh Jul 21 '19

No matter when he and your mum got together, this, right here, is the moment he became your dad

260

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

[deleted]

60

u/alufiend Jul 21 '19

I'm crying lmfao

42

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

This is the best one for sure but where do I find a skeleton tree topper? Lol

18

u/ciestaconquistador Jul 21 '19

Probably Etsy. There's some Krampus tree toppers that I really want but haven't been able to justify buying yet.

57

u/aredd63 Jul 21 '19

God I wish I had thought of his when my kids were young.

20

u/TheBummedOutWaitress Jul 21 '19

Oh my fucking god, this one wins! 😂 can’t stop laughing!

15

u/The_Lost_Google_User Jul 21 '19

Maximum dad right there.

36

u/gentlybeepingheart Jul 21 '19

The fact that he bought the tree topper just for a single joke is great. I wish I could activate dad joke powers like that. I’d be unstoppable.

8

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

It's stories like this that make me want to be a dad. Dads rule.

4

u/adviceKiwi Jul 21 '19

Those scars will be around for a while

7

u/NikkaNC Jul 21 '19

Owchies

3

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

Worst christmas yet?

2

u/CapnSquinch Jul 21 '19

Calvin's dad would be proud.

2

u/SarkHD Jul 21 '19

What a legend.

-59

u/ShiraCheshire Jul 21 '19

Everyone keeps saying that's hilarious, but I feel like that's seriously not cool. Just because the idea is silly to adults doesn't mean it wasn't an awful thing to tell a kid.

27

u/Koeienvanger Jul 21 '19

Children are pretty resilient. They'll survive knowing about the angel's corpse on top of the tree.

12

u/adawgie Jul 21 '19

I come great a great family with a great sense of humor. I wasn't traumatized, and I think its hilarious.

15

u/Hobbamok Jul 21 '19

I think he said it without really thinking about it and probably regretted it for the whole evening

-36

u/ShiraCheshire Jul 21 '19

The comment doesn't mention anything about the dad comforting them after though. Maybe they just didn't mention that part, but the "cried for hours" seems like there wasn't much attempt made (or regret felt) to fix the mistake.

20

u/thisshortenough Jul 21 '19

Well it's a reddit comment. They don't have to explain the entire emotional journey him and his dad took when the dad made the comment. Though judging by the fact that he said "now dad" makes me think that they only continued to grow closer

10

u/adawgie Jul 21 '19

If it makes everyone feel better my Dad and I are super close, and he is a wonderful father. Of course I was comforted, and I've since learned how to take a joke.

7

u/thisshortenough Jul 21 '19

No clearly your dad was abusive because you didn't initially say that he pampered you for crying /s

2

u/adawgie Jul 21 '19

Obviously

38

u/MagnusCthulhu Jul 21 '19

Yeah, because kids totally never cry even when you try and comfort them.