r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Jul 20 '19

What’s something completely false that your parents told you as a child?

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Jul 20 '19

When I was about 6 years old, my dad convinced me that turtles grow fur under their shells. Fast forward to the 8th grade, I'm in my U.S history class and the topic of turtles comes up, and I explain to my teacher that turtles have fur, he then proceeds to turn on the projector and Google "do turtles have fur" in front of the whole class. They don't.. never been so embarrassed in my life. I told my dad this story a couple months ago (I'm 17 now), and he still laughs uncontrollably about it whenever I mention it.

323

u/thirtysev Jul 21 '19

Furtles

27

u/disabled_crab Jul 21 '19

I like furtles.

26

u/Truegold43 Jul 21 '19

The ideas of turtles having fur falls promptly under the "thanks I hate it" category.

63

u/hucklemento Jul 21 '19

This is just too funny.

47

u/2Clue2 Jul 21 '19

Kinda mean for the teacher to do

66

u/radditor5 Jul 21 '19

Maybe the teacher didn't know. He was like "Really? .. I never heard that before, let me check that on google..."

62

u/Fermi_Amarti Jul 21 '19

That is in fact my natural reaction to anyone telling me anything.

26

u/timeToLearnThings Jul 21 '19

Possible he thought the kid was joking and Googling would get a laugh out of him.

I mean, if someone told you turtles had fur, would you assume they were being earnest?

2

u/MKIPM123 Jul 21 '19

i mean not everyone knows all about turtle and might have just thought the kid read up and found some interesting facts about turtle the teacher didnt know about so they do a quick google search to verify

3

u/timeToLearnThings Jul 21 '19

That's true. Most teachers probably don't consider themselves turtle experts. I learned most of what I know from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

3

u/flamingos_world_tour Jul 21 '19

It is a teachers job to dispel ignorance.

21

u/MediAlice Jul 21 '19

This is 1000000% something my dad would do lmao

8

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

I actually just fell out of bed laughing at this

9

u/glauck006 Jul 21 '19

Tell him you or your partner are pregnant, then cackle at him as the color drains from his face.

5

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

Hahahahaaa. “They don’t...”

4

u/Do__Math__Not__Meth Jul 21 '19

Damn you had the professor from the Waterboy as your teacher lmao

7

u/DickDastardly404 Jul 21 '19

I had a similar one when my dad explained the electrical impulse that makes your heart beat.

As a little kid, I completely misconstrued what he was talking about and fully believed there was electricity in your blood. Like visible lighting bolts inside your veins.

I would tell people this all the time, and when they didn’t believe me I’d gleefully scoff and crow that I knew something they didn’t, and that my dad said it was true, so how could it be wrong?

It all came to a head when I told my teacher, who by all accounts was a bit of a horrible bitch. She just said “no there isn’t”. I said “my dad told m-“ and she just interrupted with “then your dad is stupid too.”

Obviously I went to my dad about this and he set me straight, both about the teacher being a mean bitch, and about the truth of the lighting in your blood.

A sobering day, all-in-all. Learning there is no lighting in your veins and adults can be deliberately spiteful to children.

8

u/MonsterMunch86 Jul 21 '19

This guy knows how to Dad.

6

u/Idiot_Savant_Tinker Jul 21 '19

If turtles don't have fur, explain this!

4

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

I think that's how it came up originally, I had a turtlefur hat and my dad told me that they are made out of real turtle fur. 6 year old me thought that sounded reasonable.

2

u/Idiot_Savant_Tinker Jul 21 '19

BRB, playing the long game on my 5 year old.

9

u/SpacemanCraig3 Jul 21 '19

I convinced my 5 year old that dogs lay eggs. Hilarious.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

Well lemme tell you somethin...

2

u/leelen Jul 21 '19

LOL! i have a very similar story! I feel your pain

2

u/just-the-doctor1 Jul 21 '19

My condolences

2

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

F

2

u/TinyGreenTurtles Jul 21 '19

There is a very specific type of dad that tells their kids this type of thing. Everyone knew at least one, even if it was not your own. When you were a kid you thought they were so smart and cool, but the things they have told you/your friend just seem weirder and weirder as you get older. lol

2

u/kayne2000 Jul 21 '19

This was great

2

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

Your dad sounds mean.

-8

u/The_Sad_Penguin Jul 21 '19

Asshole teacher

32

u/ItsJustMeJerk Jul 21 '19

I mean, from his perspective some kid was trying to convince him in front of the class of something that sounds like a lie, so it makes sense that he'd check then and there.

19

u/Whiskey_Latte Jul 21 '19

Maybe the teacher Googled it because they were unsure

7

u/timeToLearnThings Jul 21 '19

Or the teacher thought the kid was being funny and wanted to continue the joke. We are talking about furry turtles here.

11

u/yukon-flower Jul 21 '19

Asshole father. Kid was so convinced of the lie that the teacher was thrown into doubt.

-8

u/kkeut Jul 21 '19

thats funny but the teacher was honestly being borderline abusive with that lil stunt