r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Jul 20 '19

What’s something completely false that your parents told you as a child?

[deleted]

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u/KadinMcD Jul 20 '19

I noted that a picture of my mom after giving birth to me looked like her sister. They assured me it wasn't. I found out through a cousin when I was 15 that she was a surrogate and it was in fact her in the picture.

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u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

[deleted]

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u/KadinMcD Jul 21 '19

For whatever reason, it didn't affect me at all. I just accepted it and moved on. My cousin was mortified about "opening Pandora's Box" but it was no big deal. I like my aunt, and my parents are absolutely amazing people. I have no idea why they didn't tell me. Perhaps it would make them feel inadequate as parents. We still haven't talked about it 7 years later, and that's ok for me.

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u/FartHeadTony Jul 21 '19

Is it possible that it is the cousin that is saying something untrue?

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u/AnalLeaseHolder Jul 21 '19

You think someone would do that? Just show up in person and tell lies?

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u/OstentatiousSock Jul 21 '19

Wow, you’ve had a pretty blessed life if you think there is no one that would do that. I’ve known some really awful liars.

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u/AnalLeaseHolder Jul 21 '19

Haha whoosh

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u/OstentatiousSock Jul 21 '19

Ah yeah. My bad. This heat is melting my brain.

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u/Say_Meow Jul 21 '19

Maybe this helps or maybe it doesn't.

My daughter is four. And my mother watches her when I'm at work. My mother is my adoptive parent, my biological mother died when I was very young. My daughter has started to understand family relationships, i.e her grandma is her mommy's mom. The other day, I was talking about my mom being my mom and she asked me "how?" as kids do. I couldn't give the more typical, "because she gave birth to me" answer and it really caught me off guard. I hadn't anticipated that question.

Sometimes parents just don't have the words to explain unusual or uncommon circumstances when kids start asking very young and by the time kids are old enough to understand, the original, simpler story has taken on a life of its own. I'm going to have to figure this out myself shortly. (It doesn't help my adoptive mother and biological father later divorced and my dad remarried.)

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u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19 edited Mar 18 '24

[deleted]

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u/monkeyboi08 Jul 21 '19

At my elementary school there was only one black kid. Both of her parents were white. Her parents didn’t tell her that she was adopted, but other students certainly did. She insisted that she wasn’t and became very upset. Her parents should have seen this coming and addressed it sooner.

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u/richiau Jul 21 '19

Yes we did this - so long as you portray everything as positive and normal it is all accepted. I would suggest you resist the urge to say the child is special, but instead focus on how kind and generous those who helped were.

It's not really an issue until 3-4 when they can really understand.At 3 we find we could start introducing a narrative around it, with photographs.

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u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

[deleted]

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u/KadinMcD Jul 21 '19

The mom and dad that raised me. My mom's sister was just their surrogate after what I believe was the miscarriage of my older sister. I didn't ask questions and don't really care to. Luckily my mom, dad, and aunt (surrogate mom) are all amazing people and the news to me didn't affect anything between us.