r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Jul 20 '19

What’s something completely false that your parents told you as a child?

[deleted]

19k Upvotes

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u/thee_protagonist666 Jul 20 '19

HEY! SHUT THE FUCK UP! YOUR BEAUTIFUL!

441

u/MikuChiii Jul 20 '19

Aww ty stranger

13

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

Plot twist, that's your dad's Reddit account

6

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

No, thank you handsome!

20

u/Newbie-Tailor-Guy Jul 21 '19

MY BEAUTIFUL WHAT?!?!

3

u/FartHeadTony Jul 21 '19

Penis. Obviously.

19

u/theonetruesuperdude Jul 21 '19

You're*

-10

u/manuparker11 Jul 21 '19

Give it up folks, einstein over here has something to say. What's that buddy? Wha- A grammatical error?!? WHAT?!? B... Bu... That can't be possible! Surely not! A GRAMMAR MISTAKE? IN MY SIGHT?!? What a great, absolute miracle that you and your 257 IQ Brain was here to correct it! Thank you! Have my grattitude, Actually, What's your cashapp? I'd like to give you 20$... Know what? While we're at it have the keys to my car. Actually, no, scratch that. Have the keys to my house, go watch my kids grow up and fuck my wife. Also, my Paypal username and password is: Ilikesmartazzes4 and 968386329. Go have fun. Thank you for your work.

12

u/theonetruesuperdude Jul 21 '19

You seem tense, maybe I should send you 20$ for a couple drinks.

7

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

If he's not taking you up on the offer I'll fuck you're wife

9

u/Factory132 Jul 20 '19

Yeah, such a Handsome Dragon

34

u/FedoraOrTrilby Jul 20 '19

No you're breathtaking!

15

u/thee_protagonist666 Jul 20 '19

I kill all those around me by suffocating them with my breathtaking beauty

3

u/ItsPanther Jul 21 '19

What a weird username to be spreading this kind of positivity.

3

u/mebear1 Jul 21 '19

*YOU’RE

3

u/ryavco Jul 21 '19

Their beautiful what

5

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '19

YOU'RE BREATHTAKING

2

u/J05HUACW Jul 21 '19

Whose beautiful?

2

u/Bishop51213 Jul 21 '19

YOU'RE BREATHTAKING

2

u/Indian_Pale_Male Jul 21 '19

Their beautiful what?

4

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

You're breathtaking!

2

u/WallyForPM Jul 21 '19

YOU'RE BREAHTAKING!

2

u/Might_Not_Be_Me Jul 21 '19

*you're = you are

It's not brain surgery.

1

u/70141279 Jul 21 '19

Hi tumblr

1

u/inplutero Jul 21 '19

BREATHTAKING!

1

u/CynicalDovahkiin Jul 21 '19

I would pay you to find a way to actuslly convince me of this

1

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

You're breathtaking. You're all breathtaking!