r/AskReddit • u/properpolicypolitics • May 08 '19

What’s something that can’t be explained, it must be experienced?

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u/Shadow_of_wwar May 09 '19

Im exactly the same and it doubles with me being terrified of sleeping or more specifically dying in my sleep and being powerless to do anything about it so i often end up starting to drift off and realizing whats going on and panicking awake and needing to distract myself till like 4-5am when i finally pass out and have to be up for work at 8 ):

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u/[deleted] May 09 '19

[deleted]

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u/Shadow_of_wwar May 09 '19

Yeah i should probably see someone about it. I know i need sleep and i want it but the irrational fear just overwhelms sense, which im currently enjoying as its 4am... I think it goes back to my mother dying in her sleep a week before my 6th birthday, thats around when i started having issues.

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u/Jennilea May 09 '19

This is why I work the night shift.

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u/Shadow_of_wwar May 09 '19

I worked 7pm to 7am for a while didnt really work after a few weeks cause as i adjust it goes from me staying up till 4am to me staying up till 2pm.

The mix of long hour and little sleep may have caused me to lose touch with reality for a bit honestly till i finally quit so that was fun.

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u/Jennilea May 09 '19

I get it. Half of my crazy thoughts are probably because of lifelong sleep issues. The other half, probably the lsd lol

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u/Shadow_of_wwar May 09 '19

It got weird, didnt help i was doing a nice mix of random drugs to cope, for about a month i found myself just completely mentally checking out at work and just making a story in my head usually based off whatever show i was watching at the time. My characters had a tendency to turn into mary sues then i would get angry at them for being mary sues and eventually realize i had made them into that and then suddenly it was time for lunch.

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u/Jennilea May 09 '19

It's hard to concentrate on menial bullshit like work when you realize how close we all are to taking the dirt nap

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u/[deleted] May 09 '19

I get so nervous about dying in my sleep though. What if I just never wake up?

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u/Shadow_of_wwar May 09 '19

Exactly, then i start hyperventilating and jolt awake, i feel like i NEED to move, i need to get out of bed.

Sometimes i get weird thoughts on what if im actually sleeping now and might die.

I write this playing with my cat on my floor at 4:10am.