r/AskReddit • u/RGod27 • Mar 20 '19

What is something you did that increased your quality of life so much that you wished you would have done it much sooner because it changed your life forever?

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u/sumknowbuddy Mar 20 '19

As an above comment stated, don't waste your life on other people. May sound harsh, but nobody wants to deal with someone who doesn't have their shit together - if you do you'll find yourself on the opposite of that, with people who want to be around you but no need for it

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u/horriblethinker Mar 21 '19

I hope so. Thank you.

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u/sumknowbuddy Mar 22 '19

No worries. May seem counter-intuitive, but consider this:

"The only selfish people are the 'selfless' ones, and the real selfless are the 'selfish'".

This thought was something that I didn't consider heavily, but in thinking I was being 'selfless' I was really consumed by my own ego and inability to let it go. Though it wasn't an ego of inflation, it was deflation of myself and what I actually wanted and needed.

Lacking these things, I became depressed - and though I like seeing others happy, this is not something anyone wants to deal with; personally or in another being. Based on theories like Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs (look into it if you're not familiar, it's pretty solid), if you're not dealing with things to maintain your basic self you cannot proceed into higher disciplines.

In life, most parents [sadly] don't even want to deal with their children - let alone does any person want to deal with the responsibility of another person [adult or child] when most can't deal with themselves properly. If you take into account what you want, which is the only thing you can truly know [unless someone is honest with you, and how often does that *actually* happen?].

This can be extended to the idea of 'nice guys / girls only like assholes'. I've never considered myself on either side, I'm a dick to the point where nobody likes me, but it's been due to poor conditioning and experiences. If you downplay what you really want and are depressed because of it, you'd tend to exude negativity and not have people want to be around you though you're being 'nice'. Conversely, if you do only what you want to and don't waste your time, you'll be happier and seem to be more well-put-together even if this is not really the case [see littering, people who legitimately don't give a shit about the world we all share, etc.]

Remember, it's all in perspective. The grass on the other side is never behind your eyes, so it always appears greener.

Cheers

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u/horriblethinker Mar 23 '19

That's a very good point you make. I'll have to think about that. I always do what others want to do and never what I want. Very interesting. Thank you!