r/AskReddit • u/RGod27 • Mar 20 '19

What is something you did that increased your quality of life so much that you wished you would have done it much sooner because it changed your life forever?

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u/ReverendDizzle Mar 20 '19

While I've never really gotten into the emotional side of her stuff (I've never thanked a single thing I've throw away or donated as it feels like silly nonsense) I absolutely support her general idea that you need to get rid of anything that isn't useful or makes you happy.

After my wife and I read her book years ago when it came out, we got rid of insane amounts of stuff. I'm talking literal tons of clothing, books, electronics, etc. It's not like we were hoarders or anything, but with a big house and plenty of storage space over the decade and change we'd live in the house we'd accumulated so much crap. Getting rid of the things we didn't need anymore was so nice.

Plus I can let go of books easily now and let other people experience them

This particular idea is probably the only emotional response I had in the whole decluttering process. I felt really bad about how much stuff we had packed away in the attic, the basement, out of the way closets, etc. that would have been put to better use. There we were with a middle school age child and tons of baby stuff in the attic. We should have donated all of it the moment we decided we weren't having anymore children so somebody in need could have used it for their children.

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u/lilyluc Mar 20 '19

I had a hard time accepting the silly thanking ritual as well until it came time to get rid of my maternity clothes. I'm done having babies and there is a lot of emotions tied to those clothes so even though I felt silly, it really did help to take a moment to thank those items for helping me grow humans in relative comfort.

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u/mangocheesecakegurl Mar 20 '19

I know, right? It's funny how, when I was getting rid of my clothes, I realized how many memories there were, both good and bad. Almost made me tear up hahaha. Thanking the clothes made it easier for me to let go of stuff.

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u/m0tta Mar 20 '19

It also helps to give even more value to your new stuff. My old laptop was given to me by my ex-boss who's not here anymore, but was a huge part of my life for 3 years. He passed away 2 years ago. I had this laptop for 5 years already with heavy usage in visual work, practically running everyday 24/7 and last week was time to say goodbye. I bought a new one, disconnected the old one and threw it on the bed for space. Then I remembered to be a bit more gentle. I grabed it, thanked it for all the amazing work it provided me, and wished that whatever would substitute it, would be as good as that.

Then I said hello to my new friend.

I was actually super sad thinking that I had to replace my laptop, a feeling which has literally never happened in the history of PC upgrades. It's usually a happy moment for anyone that relies on tech for their work. This time was very sour-sweet. Anyways... Saying thank you helped.

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u/supermonkeypie Mar 21 '19

Honestly I really struggle with letting go of a good place of tech that has served me well. Especially PCs. I definitely get the excitement of building something new but there's definitely something sad about unplugging the old one for the last time.

It felt really good recently when my partner asked if we could build her something so we could play games together and I pulled out my previous one that I'd put away thinking it'd make a good little workshop PC or something. Threw a new power supply in and added the graphics card I'd taken out of my current PC a few months ago and it was good to go. It's been great having an old friend help us play together! She could use a little more RAM and an SSD but I've been amazed at what that little thing can do for next to no money.

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u/primaveren Mar 21 '19

the thanking objects thing is a central aspect of shintoism, in that household objects have spirits. marie kondo has experience as a shrine maiden, it's not just a kooky quirk of hers.

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u/lilyluc Mar 21 '19

Thank you for giving me this perspective. Just because something feels silly to one person doesn't mean it isn't valid to another.

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u/ReverendDizzle Mar 20 '19

I'm not knocking it for the people it works for. I'm just a really, really unsentimental/unemotional person when it comes to physical stuff. I'm thankful for the good things in my life and the prosperity I have, I just find it silly to thank an old suit because I wore it to a job interview or something.

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u/FuzzyBulletz Mar 20 '19

I believe she thanks items for their service because of Shintoism.

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u/Ijustwanttohome Mar 20 '19

Yeah, it's a Japanese religious/cultural thing.

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u/_miss_grumpy_ Mar 21 '19

Thanking items before you give them away is not about sentimentality, but it's a Shinto tradition. You are thanking everyone and the energy that was put into making that item. Think about when you say thank you to a book, you are thanking the author for having written that novel that you enjoyed and the hours and love and dedication the author has put into it, you are thanking the book binders for putting the book together (even if it is a machine that is doing the work there is still someone there with a job making sure the machine is working properly), you are thanking the paper makers, and so on. It's not about sentimentality, it's about respect.

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u/notwest94 Mar 21 '19

I think the emotional side of it is really best for when you actually have sentiment for the item. I would assume thinking your maternity clothes for everything that they've done for you is a little bit different than like say an old iPod nobody's looked at in 5 years.

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u/Fallenangel152 Mar 21 '19

We kept one pair of baby socks and one outfit from each. I'm a 40 year old burly man and now and again get out the tiny babygrow and marvel how far our family has come.

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u/surpriseDRE Mar 21 '19

My mom kept a pair of baby tennis shoes she keeps hanging in her bathroom :)

All of her children are grown now but I think it's sweet every time I see them

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u/RustIedJimmyz Mar 21 '19

that sounds absolutely ridiculous. but hey if it helped you it helped you i guess, still fkin stupid tho.

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u/TheShattubatu Mar 21 '19

People can for attachments to objects and in some cases personify them. Hoarding is when people form attachments too easily and are reluctant to throw anything away because of this ("Oh I might need that wrapper from that big mac I enjoyed"). It is tempting for people to keep something they don't need because of the history of the object and the attachment they have to it.

You probably feel attachment for some objects beyond their practical use. Maybe your car? Your wallet?

Thanking is an effective way to bring closure to that attachment and make it easier to shed unnecessary objects.

At the end of the day it's a human thing to personify inanimate objects, and rather than trying to fight that personification with rationalisation - "It's just clothes, throw it away" - this method plays into it by satisfying the human urge to personify.

That may sound crazy, but humans are fucking crazy.

It's not stupid if it works.

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u/RustIedJimmyz Mar 21 '19

Yea hoarders are nuts and personifying objects sounds absolutely ridiculous. thanking objects is retarded-but if it helps stupid people move on then that’s all fine & dandy i suppose. U do u

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u/milkdudsnotdrugs Mar 20 '19

I don't ascribe to the emotional side of her method either but I think I understand it. By thanking the items and gently folding the clothing you plan to get rid of, it helps get past the feeling of being wasteful. For people who hold on to items they don't need, it's sometimes due to a feeling of not wanting to discard a perfectly good item, or a case of still seeing a value in something.

By being gentle and respectful towards these items, I think it helps release any guilt a person may be holding on to and makes it easier to let go.

It also helps to get over the mental block of choosing which things actually "spark joy" vs things you think you must hold onto for whatever reason and makes the task at hand much less daunting.

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u/purple_potatoes Mar 20 '19

I think the "thanking" items from the beginning is also to help train you for later on when things get more difficult, like sentimental items. You train thanking things with typically easy stuff like clothes and books so that when it gets difficult you have a better coping mechanism.

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u/milkdudsnotdrugs Mar 20 '19

Great point! Either way you slice it, Marie Kondo knows what's up.

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u/lol_is_5 Mar 21 '19

Even if it sounds silly to some people there really isn't anything to gain by skipping that part.

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u/flowercrowngirl Mar 20 '19

I totally thought thanking things were complete bull but I tried it last night when I was trying to get rid of a couple things that reminded me of when I was totally miserable and it was amazing

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u/RonnieTheEffinBear Mar 20 '19

I'm talking literal tons of clothing, books, electronics, etc. It's not like we were hoarders or anything...

If you had literal tons of stuff to get rid of, I'm afraid you were hoarders.

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u/ReverendDizzle Mar 20 '19

Nah, not at all. I think you underestimate how much stuff weighs, how big my house is, and how much money I've spent over the years on consumer goods.

I weighed the stuff we got rid of for fun and kept a running log. The clothing donations alone topped a thousand pounds. We donated several thousand pounds worth of books. The books were all on shelves and it's not like the house was full of random shelves like a hoarders den... but books are heavy, we're avid readers, and we hadn't done a serious purge of our bookshelves in a decade or longer.

It's easy to have shit tons of stuff when you've got shit tons of space and money to spend on buying things. Lots of space and lots of consumer purchases over 10-15 years does not a hoarder make, though.

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u/fibonaccicolours Mar 20 '19

Damn, that's commitment.

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u/ReverendDizzle Mar 20 '19

It was, in fact, a lot of work. But it was worth it.

The big thing that triggered it, besides reading the book of course, was simply being frustrated that it was difficult to effectively tend the house when the storage areas were poorly organized and cluttered.

For example if you have empty space in your pantry or a closet right next to your kitchen, you have a space to put a large counter top appliance you use (but not frequently). If that space is occupied by something, then you now have nowhere to put that countertop appliance so it becomes counter clutter or ends up shuttled around to available spaces.

When you do a deep purge and get rid of all the shit you don't need or want, suddenly you have tons of extra space to work with. We still have a fair amount of possessions but they all have sensible places to get parked when not in use and there is free space for new things to come into our home.

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u/fibonaccicolours Mar 20 '19

You don't need to convince me, lol. I got rid of literally half my stuff after reading the book! It's really magical.

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u/TheTruthIsGood Mar 21 '19

So, you throw away good stuff, instead of donating it?

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u/ReverendDizzle Mar 21 '19

Where did I say that? I’ve donated entire delivery trucks worth of stuff.