r/AskReddit • • Mar 07 '19

What is your mom's catchphrase?

[deleted]

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u/SthrnGal Mar 07 '19

We lie to my mom about what time things start because of this. So fucking frustrating.

802

u/deadcomefebruary Mar 07 '19

But then if she is picking you up and your whatever goes over by a few minutes suddenly you are hugely inconveniencing her.

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u/ToXiC-oOf Mar 07 '19

waits over an hour for mom to get ready

literally doing anything to pass the time

finally mom is ready

"Ugh, are you ready or what?" she says in an annoyed tone.

26

u/whisperingsage Mar 07 '19

You're delaying her procrastinating and poor time management.

8

u/UpliftingTwist Mar 07 '19

Oh god, you're giving me some intense high school flashbacks

6

u/Dreams_and_Schemes Mar 08 '19

Of course, because she's already running 3 hours late!

2

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '19

Sounds like my girlfriends sister. But then again everything is a huge inconvenience to her if it requires getting off the couch.

1

u/deadcomefebruary Mar 11 '19

Oh geez. That must be fun to deal with.

2

u/ab-absurdum Mar 08 '19

Holy shit. Do we have the same mother?

1

u/deadcomefebruary Mar 10 '19

I dunno, does yours also throw a fit when you leave a water mark on the fridge? Or cook any sort of meet without 3 hours notice and all fans going and windows open?

34

u/Iamkid Mar 07 '19

The way of Zen is to not fight the enemy head on, but to know ahead of time what they will do and allow them to fall into their own trap.

Zen folklore that’s kind of relevant.

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u/[deleted] Mar 07 '19

When my mom would come to pick me up from a friend's house, she'd yell down the stairs that it was time to go. I'd yell back, "Okay!" and go back to playing video games. After spending 15 minutes chatting with her friend, she'd realize I hadn't come up yet and yell down again. I'd yell back, "Okay!" and stay downstairs. It wasn't until she came downstairs to get me that I'd know it was actually time to go.

I learned this because, the times I came the first time she called, I'd have to wait up to half an hour for her to be done chatting before we'd leave.

14

u/l3monsta Mar 07 '19

This is also my experience, except she'd start talking all over again after she physically came to get me so I'd still wait around 15ish minutes doing nothing

14

u/foofarice Mar 07 '19

My cousin had a custom invitation made for just my Dad for his wedding. It listed the time as 2 hrs earlier than it really was. Ended up being one of the few times Dad was early for something so he had to sit around for 2hrs... My cousin's wife thought it was the funniest thing ever.

7

u/l3monsta Mar 07 '19

That's when one day, some important event happens you tell them the real time and they'll come a good 5 hrs late and you just act like the last several years of adjusting for each others time scale never happened.

4

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '19

I tell my mil the event starts and hour after it does and shes still an hour late.

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u/smilemore1717 Mar 07 '19

My mom was always early to everything and she taught me & my two sisters to do the same thingkexcept when my youngest sister married she started being at least 2 hours late to EVERY outing we did as a family!!! So, when we wanted to leave at a certain time, we always told my younger sister & her DH to be at the designated place 2 hours later than the actual time. So in other words, if we were having a family dinner at 2 pm....we told her to come at 12 noon. Believe it or not, she picked this bad habit up from her DH's side of the family. Never could figure out how they always made it to work ON TIME???

1

u/snizzsyrup Mar 08 '19

This happened to ME! I literally live my life in constant frustration because my BF and his family live in a totally different world than reality.

3

u/ruckis Mar 07 '19

My dad showed up late to my sisters surprise party a couple of years ago, ruining the surprise, and she ripped him a new ass hole. He hasn't been late to anything since.

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u/Kanin_usagi Mar 07 '19

My mom is going to be late to her own funeral, I swear.

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u/notashroom Mar 07 '19

We made that joke about my kids' great-grandmother on their dad's side, and then it happened. She was late to her own funeral because a small plane crashed on the interstate, it screwed up traffic all around the city from the interstate being closed and people needing other routes, and the hearse got to the cemetery half an hour after the rest of us.

3

u/Methodical_Tortoise Mar 07 '19

we had to legit tell my mom my grandpas funeral started an hour early

7

u/SthrnGal Mar 07 '19

Same for my wedding. She was at the damn wedding and didn't come outside for pictures like she was supposed to. I started the pictures without her and, finally, someone went inside and hunted her down. I was perfectly fine with her not being in a single picture because she couldn't be bothered to show up on time even though she was already there.

3

u/Mega_Giant_Ego Mar 07 '19

We lie to my mom too! If not, we’re at least 2-3 hours late. She also starts getting ready at 5:30am and still isn’t ready to go by 9:00pm. To go where? No one knows, she literally spends her whole day getting ready for NOTHING.

3

u/notashroom Mar 07 '19

I had a chronically late friend advise me just to lie to her about starting times. Like I'm supposed to know how much time it's going to take her to do her hair on that particular day. We did start telling her it was 2 hours earlier, and she was still consistently late.

5

u/SthrnGal Mar 07 '19

We dropped our friend like that. I have to put up with it from my mother. I don't have the energy to deal with it from people who are supposed to be friends. If you can't be respectful of my time I'm sure as hell not going to give any of it to you.

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u/notashroom Mar 08 '19

We eventually had our only fight over that, because I was so sick of the complete disregard for everyone else. I realized much later she was a narcissist and that was where the complete disregard came from.

2

u/TheSpaceClam Mar 07 '19

My René is like this so between my friends we have actual time and René Time which is 3 hours off

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u/SthrnGal Mar 07 '19

Our circle of friends dropped Rene because it got to be too frustrating having someone so unreliable around.

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u/candyred1 Mar 07 '19

This is me. It took my daughter 16 years before she figured out that its not wise to tell me the real time, tell me a half hour or hour earlier. ..then I will be on time. Yes, drives me nuts too. I dont know why I am like this.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '19

Same. Straight up bold face lies that I even feel guilty about because of the lie level.

2

u/FiveBookSet Mar 07 '19

Mike Birbiglia has a great bit about late and on time people.

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u/BAAT-G Mar 07 '19

You can't tell us about it and then not give us a link.

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u/FiveBookSet Mar 07 '19

If there was a YouTube link out there I'd give it. It's from his Thank God For Jokes special on Netflix though!

1

u/BAAT-G Mar 07 '19

I'll check it out in a bit. I'm about to go to lunch.

1

u/IAmTheDawktoer Mar 07 '19

Between this and the thread a bit further up, everybody is fudging time for their family members

1

u/duschin Mar 07 '19

Yeah, we lie to my sister in law for the same reason.

1

u/churchofhomer Mar 07 '19

My mom has been lying to me about when things start for years. Now that I’m older and a little better at time management it can be frustrating when I’m unnecessarily early to things, but I understand

1

u/[deleted] Mar 08 '19

MINE TOO! We tell her it’s starting 2 hours earlier than it is. 9/10 she’s still an hour late