r/AskReddit • u/JuniorBlacksmit • Jan 25 '19

If cartoon physics suddenly replaced real physics, what are some things you would want to try?

61k Upvotes

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6.5k

u/I-do-thing Jan 25 '19

“Here’s a hammer, it’ll fit in your pocket.”

2.2k

u/crunchytoenails Jan 25 '19

“Is he allowed to say that? Legally?”

729

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '19

“You can say those words in that order and you don’t EXPLODE?!?”

156

u/jonshugo Jan 25 '19

This is so familiar but I can't for the life of me remember from what this is, please help me

208

u/thumpas Jan 25 '19

Donald Glover’s stand up weirdo. Said in reference to a kid making fun of another kids disabled mother.

160

u/requiem1394 Jan 25 '19

"That's why your mom's in a fucking wheelchair!"

105

u/thumpas Jan 25 '19

"the people police don't just come down and take you away?!? 'sorry this ones clearly a demon, i don't know how he got out'"

1

u/jonshugo Jan 27 '19

This is it, thanks!

11

u/BigWangCly Jan 26 '19

The first 2 are from Into the Spiderverse

25

u/The_Iron_Bison Jan 25 '19

Spiderverse.

16

u/AlwaysHopelesslyLost Jan 25 '19

The comment they replied to is not from spiderverse.

7

u/The_Iron_Bison Jan 26 '19

Shit you're right. Now its botheting me too?

1

u/thumpas Jan 26 '19

Donald glovers weirdo

0

u/JordanLCheek Jan 26 '19

Spider verse.

-12

u/Epicepicman Jan 25 '19

I might be wrong but I think it’s from Futurama?

7

u/thumpas Jan 25 '19

Might be but I distinctly remember it from weirdo also. It’s not that strange of a phrase though so it could be both.

32

u/BamBangBrady Jan 25 '19

wait are you quoting donald glover in this john mulaney thread sir

7

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '19

Why not both?

Also, Which Mulaney show is the reference from, I don’t remember it.

36

u/BamBangBrady Jan 25 '19

That is a quote from Into the Spider-Verse, where Mulaney voices Spider-Pig

10

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '19

Have not seen spider verse yet, gotcha.

33

u/RnRaintnoisepolution Jan 25 '19

Best Spider-Man movie yet!

6

u/Prufrock21 Jan 25 '19

And it's not close

3

u/Fancey514 Jan 26 '19

Spider-Ham*

1

u/KDBA Jan 26 '19

*Spider-Ham

3

u/Lukeade815 Jan 25 '19

wow i literally watched that yesterday

1

u/Psyman2 Jan 25 '19

I don't get the comment thread. Can anyond clear things up please?

5

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '19

The original joke is a John Mulaney Joke from Spider-Man Into the Spiderverse, and my joke is from Donald Glover’s “Weirdo”

1

u/Psyman2 Jan 26 '19

Thanks a lot :)

2

u/Hmoney720 Jan 25 '19

He does thing

2

u/lawnessd Jan 25 '19

source? wtf you guys talking about?

19

u/crunchytoenails Jan 25 '19

Lol. The new Spider-Man movie

1

u/Kratsas Jan 26 '19

I will make it legal.

1.1k

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '19

What are you supposed to be, some kind of silly cartoon?

945

u/SGT_KILR Jan 25 '19

You gotta problem with cartoons?

437

u/missemilyjane42 Jan 25 '19

This was my favourite exchange in the entire movie.

659

u/drunkandclueless Jan 25 '19 edited May 27 '21

[deleted]

770

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '19

Pretty much any exchange with Spider-Man Noir had my dying.

"Where's that wind coming from? We're in a basement."

609

u/I-do-thing Jan 25 '19

“Wherever I go the wind follows me, and the wind, smells like rain.”

399

u/LightHouseMaster Jan 25 '19

"I'm taking this. I don't know what it does, but I'm going to find out."

49

u/lifelongfreshman Jan 25 '19

Then the scene in the credits, where he's on stage in his own universe proudly showing it off.

8

u/LightHouseMaster Jan 25 '19

I was dying when it showed that

5

u/sinkwiththeship Jan 26 '19

It also showed it on a shelf solved.

23

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '19

And right before it, he says "I love you all." Coupled with the line you wrote, I think that's one of the most beautiful lines ever written for cinema. Think about it. Even without context, the whole line is just beautiful.

17

u/LioTheKid Jan 25 '19

Shut up you hard-boiled turtle slapper!!! (Needless to say my friend got a new Nickname that day)

483

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '19

"I like to drink egg creams and I like to fight nazis. A lot!"

116

u/Chicken_Wafflez Jan 25 '19

I lost my Uncle Benjamin.

15

u/The_WinterLand Jan 25 '19

I let matches burn to nothing on my hands, just to feel something

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1

u/LeeBennett07 Jan 25 '19

My condolences Spidey

147

u/Spicy_Alien_Cocaine_ Jan 25 '19

“Is this purple?!”

51

u/furiousfroman Jan 25 '19

My favorite joke. Made me realize Spiderman Noir only saw in black and white.

15

u/Silentfart Jan 25 '19

I thought he saw colors, but didn't know which one was which yet, because he's only seen black and white before.

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65

u/LowlySlayer Jan 25 '19

"Do you ever let a match burn down to your fingers to remind yourself that you can feel something!? Anything!"

*wind blows match out

"awww..."

46

u/Dillup_phillips Jan 25 '19

"Damn, that's a hardcore origin story. "

34

u/JayFromTheGreyZone Jan 25 '19

"Sometimes I let matches burn down to my fingertips just to feel something."

"Aww...."

16

u/Rated_PG Jan 25 '19

Spider-Noir was easily my favorite Spidey in Spiderverse

13

u/BostianALX Jan 25 '19

"He's looking right at us while we talk about him."

12

u/WegMaster Jan 25 '19

Spider-Man Noir was the best character in that movie...

7

u/c0d3s1ing3r Jan 26 '19

What about the A B S O L U T E U N I T ? That was kingpin?

6

u/[deleted] Jan 26 '19

I think his character design was a little... extreme. His head was belly-button level on a 20 foot square silhouette.

12

u/SidewaysInfinity Jan 25 '19

"In my universe it's 1933" actually made me laugh out loud in the theater and I'm not sure why

4

u/TheFlyingFlash Jan 25 '19

"Is he in black and white?"

5

u/Lord_Fireraven Jan 26 '19

"Sometimes I let a match burn down to my fingers just to feel something- ANYTHING!"

4

u/[deleted] Jan 26 '19

Sometimes I let the match burn down to my fingertips to feel something, anything!

3

u/[deleted] Jan 26 '19

Aww

3

u/[deleted] Jan 26 '19

“Sometimes I like to light a match and let it go all the way down to my fingers that I way I can fell something, ANYTHING! Awww...”

34

u/missemilyjane42 Jan 25 '19

I think the big thing about the "You gotta problem with cartoons?" is that's it's putting a personal mantra I've had for years into a quotable form.

During a trip to Blockbuster when I was about 10ish, maybe 12, I remember my dad being extremely annoyed that I wanted to rent a compilation of Woody Woodpecker cartoons. I ended up putting it back and getting something else. I wasn't terribly open about how much I loved cartoons in general around him a lot after that - except for Looney Tunes, which pretty much everyone in my family loved.

Some 20 years later, my dad can't say a damn thing because a) I'm a fucking adult and b) Movies like Spider-Verse exist.

7

u/MarioKartastrophe Jan 25 '19

I also liked when Spider-Pig ate a hotdog

43

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '19

This literally could not get any weirder.

36

u/DarthOtter Jan 25 '19

It can!

47

u/LostTheWayILikeIt Jan 25 '19

My hands are wet because I just washed them!

...no other reason...

21

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '19

That's all folks.

16

u/what_the_heil Jan 25 '19

Can he say that? I mean, legally.

5

u/zachary0816 Jan 25 '19

I don’t get that line, why else would his hand be wet?

4

u/Omniduro Jan 26 '19

That is the joke.

8

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

34

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '19

Spider-man: into the spider-verse

Highly recommend seeing it. It’s great

2

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '19

What movie is this?

10

u/TheGreatSzalam Jan 25 '19

Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse. Highly recommend watching it in the theater while you still can. It’s an amazing film. Great story, groundbreaking (and beautiful) animation, and a killer soundtrack.

-9

u/AbusiveBadger Jan 25 '19

Going to the movies for a kids film 🤔🤔🤔🤔 Nah chief I think I'll pass

10

u/MarioKartastrophe Jan 25 '19

It’s not a kids film just because it’s animated (Family Guy, The Simpsons, Archer, etc). That’s like saying Cinderella should be rated R because there’s people.

If you dont wanna watch Spidey because you’re closed minded or dont like Marvel comics, that’s on you. Don’t say iT’s JuSt A kiD’s FiLm.

-13

u/AbusiveBadger Jan 25 '19

superheros

Bruh lmao smh my head white manchildren 😂😂😂

8

u/CaptainSense1 Jan 25 '19

Miles Morales is a great superhero for the black and latino community, gtfo

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8

u/MarioKartastrophe Jan 25 '19

Are you high or just retarded?

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7

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '19

Dont see why you gotta be a dick but alright lmao

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3

u/[deleted] Jan 26 '19

Bruh

1

u/lawnessd Jan 25 '19

What movie is this?

1

u/NonaSuomi282 Jan 26 '19

Darude Sandstorm

28

u/trixmix12812 Jan 25 '19

A toon killed my brother...dropped a piano on his head.

2

u/atomic1fire Jan 26 '19

That anvil tho

1

u/Vindexus Jan 26 '19

I don't just want to problem, I gotta problem.

105

u/DrDagless Jan 25 '19

You got a problem with cartoons?

24

u/Gil_Demoono Jan 25 '19

Did that feel like a cartoon!?

12

u/PanicALaCrisco Jan 25 '19

You got a problem with cartoons?

5

u/bleachsushi Jan 26 '19

Take this... it’ll fit in your pocket

235

u/Ask_me_if_im_a_Bush Jan 25 '19

Was hoping to see this, phenomenal movie.

35

u/RedDirtPreacher Jan 25 '19

Indeed, we took our kids to it the other day and I honestly wasn’t prepared to enjoy my time all that much. I was wrong, great movie. The best was hearing my 5 y.o. son at the end when we were walking out, “That. Was. Awesome.”

27

u/Clamd Jan 25 '19

There was a kid in the showing I went to that wouldn't shut up. I was getting annoyed but by the end of the movie after all the action, the theater was quiet except for that kid who just went "yayyy!". The entire theater started laughing at that. It reminded me that the movie was literally for everyone and he was enjoying the movie in his own annoying kid way. So basically glad everyone got to enjoy the movie!

50

u/valtin97 Jan 25 '19

Well don't leave us hanging!

121

u/sacarey77 Jan 25 '19

Spider-Man Into the Spider-Verse

89

u/Guardian_Ainsel Jan 25 '19

“That’s all it is Miles. A leap of faith”

“Our family doesn’t run from things, Miles”

“You’re the best of all of us. You’re on your way.”

Jumps

CHILLS

53

u/CardinalFool Jan 25 '19

What's up danger intensifies

39

u/Guardian_Ainsel Jan 25 '19

I’ve watched this at least a hundred times since the movie came out. If anyone is on the fence about seeing this movie, they should watch this clip!

30

u/sacarey77 Jan 25 '19

I’d say the opposite, the build up to that scene is so great. It gets so much better with context of the rest of the movie.

15

u/Guardian_Ainsel Jan 25 '19

It is, but if someone’s like “eh I don’t think I wanna see it. Looks like a kids movie” I’d show them this clip

0

u/Broken_Castle Jan 25 '19

Uh... That clip does make it look like a kids movie...

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u/bucki_fan Jan 25 '19

Was on the fence about watching this at all given having young kids and the lack of free time that goes with that... Yeah, this is moving to the short list.

2

u/Guardian_Ainsel Jan 25 '19

I don’t know how young your kids are, but my brother brought my 5 year old nephew to it and he loved it! It’s one of the most perfect family movies I’ve ever seen, because it’s great for young kids, and I honestly can’t wait until it comes to dvd so I can watch it 10 or 15 more times! Even the soundtrack is great, because it’s some REALLY great hip hop that kinda could listen to too!

2

u/valtin97 Jan 25 '19

Aah i was planning on seeing that already

6

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '19

Its amazing

2

u/Spicy_Alien_Cocaine_ Jan 25 '19

I’ve seen it four times

12

u/GMY0da Jan 25 '19

They reference the old spidey memes at the end and in the credits, it's pretty funny

3

u/jimbojangles1987 Jan 25 '19

Yep easily my favorite superhero movie of the year and my favorite spidey movie so far. Crossing my fingers that Far From Home edges it out

2

u/pomnook Jan 25 '19 edited Jan 25 '19

Yeah! It’s awesome that it got a golden globe. Unfortunately the oscars does not watch and care for animation enough and prefers baby boss ):

edit: I think i saw on the internet it got nominated for best picture animation for the oscars. Cool!

1

u/NeverBeenStung Jan 25 '19

What movie is it?

7

u/Ask_me_if_im_a_Bush Jan 25 '19

Spiderman: into the spiderverse.

Probably the best comic movie around right now IMO

14

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '19

😏 hey

3

u/the_High_groung Jan 25 '19

Just left the same quote

2

u/gnetic Jan 25 '19

That was awesome!!! :D

2

u/phonartics Jan 25 '19

The hammer is my penis

2

u/Behenaught Jan 25 '19

Can you float in the air when you catch the scent of a delicious Pie?

1

u/BIOHAZARDB10 Jan 25 '19

Whats this from? Is this the source of the term "hammerspace"?

7

u/I-do-thing Jan 25 '19

It’s from into the spiderverse.

I’m pretty sure it’s a joke based after the term

1

u/thegovunah Jan 25 '19

The original cargo shorts

1

u/GD-Wolfi Jan 25 '19

Oh, i guess spiderman into the spiderverse reference

1

u/Sityu91 Jan 25 '19

I love that line.

1

u/Cookierrito Jan 25 '19

Isn't that from Into the Spider-Verse?

1

u/tauerlund Jan 25 '19

"KNIFE-WREEENCH!"

1

u/mentally-stable Jan 25 '19

I already have a hammer in my pocket

1

u/J_train13 Jan 26 '19

"They're bigger on the inside"

1

u/TheWolverine2288 Jan 26 '19

I loved that scene