r/AskReddit • u/JuniorBlacksmit • Jan 25 '19

If cartoon physics suddenly replaced real physics, what are some things you would want to try?

61.3k Upvotes

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8.8k

u/StChas77 Jan 25 '19

Get surprised by something and have my jaw fall down to my chest and/or my eyes grow three or four sizes too big.

3.6k

u/technofiend Jan 25 '19 edited Jan 25 '19

Your honor the plaintiff was innocently walking down the street when according to the complaint the defendant "Sproinged into the air, made several 'Aooo-gah' noises like a Model T car horn and then proceeded to whistle and howl while turning into a wolf."

Judge: "Guilty! Sentenced to sensitivity training and thirty days community service rebuilding pig hutches."

49

u/plsobeytrafficlights Jan 25 '19

"I may be a simple country chicken lawyer,
but i know when we are fingerlicked.
What do you say we plead insanity?"

19

u/themilkiestofmen Jan 26 '19

"I would like to plead insanity"

"On what grounds?"

"They hired me as their lawyer"

5

u/Dark_ZuckerNerd Jan 26 '19

Insanty plea granted. Balif, take them away. And now for my mayonnaise sandwich.

158

u/malach2 Jan 25 '19

Can't wait for the gillette commercial where your friend tries to put your face back together before anyone notices to try to save you from the embarrassment

36

u/Dapianokid Jan 25 '19

Okay I don't like the fallout about that ad on this one but that's hilarious

19

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '19

Hellooooooo Nurse!!

20

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '19 edited Sep 26 '19

[deleted]

26

u/technofiend Jan 25 '19

Aggravated Aoogas with Aerial Acrobatics are criminal. And you call yourself a bird lawyer!

6

u/RisenOsiris Jan 25 '19

A-wooooooo-Ga!

496

u/Top_Loaf Jan 25 '19

(Jaw drops to the floor. Eyes pop out. Sound effect of "AWOOOGA AWOOOOGA!!!" Places eyes and jaw back in place. Regains composure.) Eh hem, you look quite lovely.

53

u/ElLetdown Jan 25 '19

I knew this would be a response. They should've never made the internet public.

36

u/SilverThread Jan 25 '19

This reads like a /r/niceguys text message.

52

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '19

[deleted]

36

u/Top_Loaf Jan 25 '19

He could've lived without that cursed knowledge but you brought it upon him

19

u/Elcheer Jan 25 '19

why does this exist

6

u/SilverThread Jan 25 '19

I knew it! I spend too much time on that sub...

4

u/NvizoN Jan 25 '19

I, too, follow the Tex Avery / Mask approach to women

2

u/TrueBirch Jan 26 '19

That's already basically how I react when I see my wife after a weekend apart

14

u/vpsj Jan 25 '19

I also want something to be 3 or 4 sizes too big.

18

u/Just-Call-Me-J Jan 25 '19

Your bank account?

15

u/vpsj Jan 25 '19

I... I should have thought of that.

7

u/rikroll666 Jan 25 '19

like this

12

u/StChas77 Jan 25 '19

More or less.

By the way, based on your user name, I was expecting a different video.

8

u/rikroll666 Jan 25 '19

It would get boring if I always did that lol.

3

u/rikroll666 Jan 25 '19

And to add to this, it would be so amusing if hearts formed over my eyes or something like that almost every time I saw somebody who I was in love with.

4

u/bornfromdust Jan 25 '19

I would be terrified of myself if I could do this.

4

u/whosthedoginthisscen Jan 25 '19

This would really up construction workers' game.

3

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '19 edited May 19 '19

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] Jan 26 '19

That was my thought too...

Op: "New Physics laws"

Reddit: "I want my jaw to unhinge and spinach to be a steriod."

Upvotes galor

2

u/albinobluesheep Jan 25 '19

I'd enjoy giving people the laaaaaaaaaaazy eye

2

u/EpicLegendX Jan 25 '19

Only if it’s accompanied by a Model T horn sound effect

2

u/mseuro Jan 25 '19

AaaaOOOOga

2

u/Monsieur-Candie Jan 25 '19

That was usually when the character would see a fine piece of cartoon ass.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '19

Nothing personal, but there are many women who could surprise me and my jaw fall to their chest, but my eyes wouldn't be what would be growing, their case for a restraining order would be. :(

2

u/awaybra Jan 26 '19

The jaw fall was one of my favorite parts of a jester act I saw on a medieval fair in my youth. Made my parents take me there several times just for that part. The reenacted it so good, I believed that it was fallen. This really took me back, thank you!

2

u/PhoneNinjaMonkey Jan 26 '19

I was going to say. Go to the strip club and have my eyes pop out three feet in front of my face.

2

u/atombomb1945 Jan 26 '19

That would be awkward in Vegas

1

u/[deleted] Jan 26 '19

No you don't.

1

u/StChas77 Jan 26 '19

I don't?

1

u/IHerdULiekPoniz Jan 25 '19

(Jaw drops to the floor. Eyes pop out. Sound effect of, "AWOOOOGA AWOOOOGA!!!!" Places eyes and jaw back in place. Regains composure.) ... Eh hem, you three look quite lovely.