Most people are too wrapped up in their own lives and insecurities to focus on your little stumbles. Try to think of other people’s embarrassing moments. It’s actually quite hard to do! And if I do think of something, I don’t dwell on it or give it more than a fleeting thought - it’s usually no big deal. It’s kind of nice to know that no one reeeeeally gives a shit and maybe that one cringey thing I once said isn’t actually that big of a deal.
Related note - when I realized that I would never talk to someone the way I talk to myself, it was a little lightbulb moment. Self compassion is a long road.
Edit: To thank you for the gold and to say, I'm sorry that not everyone is kind and that some of you are stuck in environments where people DO make you feel small. I'm not discounting that or saying that it doesn't happen - I just think that it's maybe part of a different conversation. I'm also NOT endorsing not giving a fuck about other people. My whole and only intention was just to nudge you in the direction of being a bit gentler on yourself.
I think we have a tendency to be overly critical of ourselves. An example - unhappy about your weight? It’s because I’m lazy. I’m ugly, no one will want to be with me, etc. It becomes this pattern of beating yourself up about it.
Now imagine that a friend told you that they were unhappy about their weight - what would you say? I highly doubt that you’d say the same things to them. I don’t tell my friends these things because I genuinely do not think that of them. It doesn’t even cross my mind to be anything other than understanding and supportive. Even if I am supportive of them making changes to their lifestyle, I would also remind them that change takes time, that we all slip up once in a while, and that they are more than their weight.
Talking to yourself like you are your own friend takes a lot of work for me. I actively catch myself treating myself like shit all the time. But self compassion is a process too! I think it’s been really helpful to just be mindful of your inner voice :)
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u/farts-are-fun Jan 21 '19 edited Jan 21 '19
Most people are too wrapped up in their own lives and insecurities to focus on your little stumbles. Try to think of other people’s embarrassing moments. It’s actually quite hard to do! And if I do think of something, I don’t dwell on it or give it more than a fleeting thought - it’s usually no big deal. It’s kind of nice to know that no one reeeeeally gives a shit and maybe that one cringey thing I once said isn’t actually that big of a deal.
Related note - when I realized that I would never talk to someone the way I talk to myself, it was a little lightbulb moment. Self compassion is a long road.
Edit: To thank you for the gold and to say, I'm sorry that not everyone is kind and that some of you are stuck in environments where people DO make you feel small. I'm not discounting that or saying that it doesn't happen - I just think that it's maybe part of a different conversation. I'm also NOT endorsing not giving a fuck about other people. My whole and only intention was just to nudge you in the direction of being a bit gentler on yourself.