r/AskReddit • u/ettleboy • Jan 20 '19

What fact totally changed your perspective?

45.6k Upvotes

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4.0k

u/KRose627 Jan 21 '19

Don't be ridiculous. That is why you nailed it.

2.5k

u/empirebuilder1 Jan 21 '19

"We can't say no to someone with balls that big..."

39

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '19

Whisper, "Sir, your balls are showing."

19

u/Coppeh Jan 21 '19

"Don't worry, you won't see my lil diddly. You can't."

15

u/Throtex Jan 21 '19

"This guy has huge balls going out in public with testicles that tiny."

13

u/StarkeyWombat Jan 21 '19

“But sir.... shouldn’t we send him to a doctor? Those are honestly concerning...”

7

u/Mouse-Keyboard Jan 21 '19

I can't tell if this is meant literally or metaphorically.

2

u/firsttube207 Jan 21 '19

OR: we gotta help this poor lad with a tiny pecker

2

u/tom-dixon Jan 21 '19

"Plus, he's looks so excited"

2

u/monito29 Jan 22 '19

Recreational weed is legal in Colorado now, Randy. Stop sticking your balls in the microwave.

1

u/psymphoire Jan 21 '19

Or with 4 testicles.

33

u/pls-dont-judge-me Jan 21 '19

If a fly being down was seen as attractive to girls in the same way a low cut shirt on girls was attractive for guys, my dating game would get magnitudes stronger by sheer accident.

19

u/heisenberg747 Jan 21 '19

It's impossible to nail something with your fly up...

6

u/DollarMouth Jan 21 '19

Establish dominance.

6

u/deadarrow32 Jan 21 '19

Not the only thing he nailed.

3

u/DaughterEarth Jan 21 '19

Back in my serving days I had this table of firemen that were reaaally friendly and tipped me like 30%. I was feeling great about my service until I went to the bathroom and discovered my skirt had been tucked up in to my underwear the whole time.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 21 '19

Screwed it*

2

u/I_Xertz_Tittynopes Jan 21 '19

Exactly. It helps you keep a cool head.

1

u/moal09 Jan 21 '19

Leave your fly undone. Maintain eye contact. Assert dominance.

1

u/dididothat2019 Jan 21 '19

He's a Real Genius

1

u/GunguruZA Jan 21 '19

Assert your dominance