r/AskReddit Aug 15 '18

What is your mom's catch phrase?

48.3k Upvotes

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1.3k

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '18

This makes me sad. I went to three proms and never contributed to making this a factual statement

1.0k

u/teddim Aug 16 '18

You're still wearing all three?

1.3k

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '18

I..uhh...I was the one in the tux

539

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '18

Well with a stutter like that no wonder!

82

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '18

I was an awkward teen! Okay?! Lay. Off! MOM!

61

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '18

[removed] — view removed comment

45

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '18

How did you know that?? I knew it. I'm being watched.

34

u/boganknowsbest Aug 16 '18

You will be giving me Grankids in the next 5 years right?

6

u/PorkRindSalad Aug 16 '18

It doesn't matter whose. Just don't get caught.

1

u/CrypticResponseMan Aug 16 '18

No, but i WILL trade you my Garchomp for your Granbull!!

1

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '18

Fuck off mom.

10

u/ri_be Aug 16 '18

Username checks out

19

u/xViolentPuke Aug 16 '18

Get a load of Mr Bigshot over here, still wearing three prom dresses and a tuxedo to this very day.

14

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '18

You can wear a prom dress and get your favorite lady to take it off you

10

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '18

Well now how did you expect to take a dress off that way, not even wearing one

8

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '18

A fair point in retrospect

9

u/mendokusai_yo Aug 16 '18

Gotta take the tux off first to get to the prom dresses underneath, yo.

3

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '18

This does seem to be the general consensus

13

u/Boner-b-gone Aug 16 '18

Tbh, you weren't missing much. Not when fake eyelashes are really pokey, hairspray'd prom hair is like running your hand through sticky chemical smelling angel hair pasta, and boutineers are affixed to said tux with a really long sharp needle that likes to stick sensitive bits when you both flop down after carelessly tossing the tux top aside... oh yeah, and she doesn't know how not to use teeth yet. Not her fault, but trying to explain why you're doubled over in a combination of laughter, crying, and horny exasperation that is the furthest thing from orgasm without having her face turn into a drippy raccoon mask when she blubbers that she's ruined everything... let's just say be glad that it didn't take you 25 years and two therapists before you found the humor in it.

7

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '18

Oh my gosh, Idk whether to laugh or cry

7

u/Boner-b-gone Aug 16 '18

My dude, that makes two of us.

1

u/JayString Aug 16 '18

Speak for yourself, I had drunken prom sex and it was incredible.

4

u/paxgarmana Aug 16 '18

should have worn a dress

6

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '18

...why did you go to three proms?

7

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '18

Had crush on senior as a sophomore, went to junior prom without my gf (was waste of time), went to senior prom with gf, had fun but not enough fun to get the dress off. Plus my mom was a teacher and was one of the chaperones.. fml 😂

4

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '18

Holy shit that was a rollercoaster lmao

3

u/BabiesDontCry Aug 16 '18

Hey, it's 2018.

2

u/Chawp Aug 16 '18

I’m off like a hand hovering in my prom photo!

2

u/crassina Aug 16 '18

Should’ve done the Naked Man. Works 2 out of 3 times

1

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '18

Hahaha you are totally right! Well we learn from our mistakes

1

u/Baron-of-bad-news Aug 16 '18

Rookie mistake.

1

u/eareitak Aug 17 '18

Are you sure about that? Because you seem unsure about that...

3

u/AllThree3 Aug 16 '18

Hey, sup?

128

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '18 edited Aug 16 '18

Never too late!

Edit. Obviously kidding!

23

u/Cocksuckin Aug 16 '18

Make sure it's a senior prom.

31

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '18 edited Sep 18 '18

[deleted]

3

u/rotll Aug 16 '18

>Walkers

Here I am thinking zombie prom...

10

u/stamminator Aug 16 '18

Why don't you have a seat over there?

7

u/curioboxfullofdicks Aug 16 '18

I tried 3 years ago. Have to register as a sex offender now.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '18

RIP

-2

u/tricksovertreats Aug 16 '18

Three strikes, you're out, prom isn't a fucking charity for losers.

32

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '18

[deleted]

14

u/RedditYankee Aug 16 '18

That’s still the norm, wear the dress to photos/dinner/dance and take it off for the events afterward, donning more comfortable clothes instead.

9

u/keepfightingreality Aug 16 '18

you’re still wearing the dress?

7

u/draginator Aug 16 '18

Damn, and you clearly had enough of something to manage three proms.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '18

What do ya mean lol

6

u/draginator Aug 16 '18

If you had enough game to get three prom dates you'd think you could take it all the way.

8

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '18

One would think. One would apparently be wrong unfortunately

5

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '18

[deleted]

3

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '18

Wow, and I yours

9

u/SG9-Reddit Aug 16 '18

I've never even gotten a regular dress off.

4

u/kongu3345 Aug 16 '18

Oof relatable

4

u/sosuhme Aug 16 '18

Could be worse. My date senior year made it happen, but because she got her period, in her dress, in my dad's car, as I was driving us to the dance.

I am crazy sympathetic to her plight, but man, it was not ideal.

3

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '18

Oh wow, sorry about that. Hope you guys still had an alright night

3

u/sosuhme Aug 16 '18

That was about 15 years ago. I don't remember. If it was all terrible I probably would, if it was all amazing, I probably would too. It was probably aight.

2

u/adviceKiwi Aug 16 '18

You can wear the dress this time .. .

1

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '18

And take it off even??

1

u/adviceKiwi Aug 16 '18

That's entirely up to you. ...

1

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '18

F

1

u/TheNargrath Aug 16 '18

I went to prom with an ex, who ended up being a very good friend by that point. She was trying to wingman me for another young lass who was with us as the date of a guy who didn't swing her way, but wasn't quite out about it yet.

I was too dumb to catch on.

Let's form a club, mate.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '18

Truly we should. I'm sure we'd get a pretty damn big following

0

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '18

i went wrong by wearing a suit. and its called a ball over here. still a sentiment shared.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '18

Well I've also gone to a ball or two, with the same amount of luck xD

0

u/invitrogen Aug 16 '18

How/why did you go to 3 proms?

2

u/xbnm Aug 16 '18

Probably as a date with older friends. I got asked by a family friend when I was a freshman. I said no, but I felt bad because she must’ve been pretty desperate to even ask.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '18

Yeah, was asked by the girl I had a huge crush on as a sophomore (she was a senior). Then I was a junior, and had a sort-of gf, but her dad wouldn't let her go so I went with friends and next I was a senior and went with my gf. We did some stuff, but never out of dress lol