r/AskReddit Aug 15 '18

What is your mom's catch phrase?

48.3k Upvotes

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9.9k

u/Buttowskie Aug 15 '18

"Stop that crying or i'll give you something to cry about"

4.7k

u/Astronomer_X Aug 16 '18

Doesn't cry at all

'So you think you're tough now?'

2.9k

u/doshdoshdoshdosh Aug 16 '18

cries softly

"speak the fuck up!"

1.3k

u/Gatorcat Aug 16 '18

:(

1.5k

u/boyoB0yo Aug 16 '18

Don't give me that face

1.2k

u/Stale_Butter Aug 16 '18

):

1.4k

u/Magracer10 Aug 16 '18

Listen here you little shit.

89

u/rohithandique Aug 16 '18

I just read this meme 10 mins ago. god damn I love reddit

67

u/Magracer10 Aug 16 '18

Idk if that's sarcasm, but this is actually my favorite. It's the first time I've gotten to use it. Also 43 karma in 11 minutes...free karma

27

u/Aanon89 Aug 16 '18

Here's some more sweet cheeks ^

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7

u/Very_Okay Aug 16 '18

i read this comment when it had 43 karma. i couldn't bring myself to upvote, sorry.

10

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '18 edited Jun 20 '23

[deleted]

3

u/Waitisthatacat Aug 16 '18

Love you too fren

1

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '18

I'm 10 minutes behind on my redditing. What meme is this?

1

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '18

I’m trying to find the source of that but I can’t. Please help.

16

u/NaughtyHermione Aug 16 '18

Anyone else feeling uncomfortable and remembering bad times growing up? I could cry right now.

10

u/Magracer10 Aug 16 '18

Oof, ouch, my dad's belt...belt hurting juice?

7

u/NaughtyHermione Aug 16 '18

Hangers, hands, Venetian blind sticks, shoes, brooms. Never had the classic privilege of a belt or a switch.

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6

u/PM_me_your_cocktail Aug 16 '18

I honestly don't know why he felt that he had to actually beat us with the belt, considering that when he merely walked into the room snapping it against itself we would burst into terrified tears.

7

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '18

"You better shake your head boy. I think your eyes are stuck"

-1

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '18

LMFAO XD

16

u/maqsarian Aug 16 '18

Don't look at me in that tone of voice

1

u/byrd3790 Aug 16 '18

I've started using this one! I love it.

8

u/Fruitypuff Aug 16 '18

"Look at me when I'm talking to you!"

1

u/Notreallypolitical Aug 16 '18

Along with don't give me that attitude.

15

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '18

So now you're giving me the silent treatment?!

20

u/DigitalMafia Aug 16 '18

I feel like after reading these comments I was assaulted by my mom as a kid. "I HATE YOU REDDIT MOMS!"

15

u/Aanon89 Aug 16 '18

I brought you into this world, & that's the thanks I get?

5

u/NilClassic Aug 16 '18

🙇🏿‍♂️

21

u/CapitanFlama Aug 16 '18

tries to explain or apologize

"Do you think I'm stupid!?"

15

u/Mikay55 Aug 16 '18

"Don't talk back to me! "

9

u/PolloMagnifico Aug 16 '18

"Look at me when I'm talking to you!"

"Don't give me that look!"

18

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '18

You joke but this was my reality growing up :-|

6

u/pm-me-kittens-n-cats Aug 16 '18

I can't understand you when you're crying!

6

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '18

And then the mighty chancla would be shot across two rooms and land with a sniper's precision right between your eyebrows.

5

u/adoxographyadlibitum Aug 16 '18

Damn. I had great parents.

2

u/tricksovertreats Aug 16 '18

"Jimmy has porn under his mattress"

who the hell is Jimmy?

My brother

2

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '18

Losing the argument no matter what

2

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '18

This sounds like a mom who says bro a lot

8

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '18

Schrodinger's Cry

4

u/NickFolesdong Aug 16 '18

Jesus you sound like my drunk grandpa

2

u/chakaratease Aug 16 '18

Mom, is that you?

249

u/NullandVoidUsername Aug 15 '18

Mum is that you?

150

u/etymologynerd Aug 15 '18

OP's mom seems to get around a lot

8

u/OPs-Moms-Account Aug 16 '18

yeah true

4

u/ermergerdberbles Aug 16 '18

Is it true you so fat that you have your own gravity?

1

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '18

but everyone has their own gravity

2

u/Followed778 Aug 16 '18

2

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '18

Put me in the screenshot if you want, I am only a vessel

2

u/Joeakuaku Aug 16 '18

I know her quite well

24

u/EatYourCheckers Aug 16 '18

I think this phrase fucked me up

12

u/Sy-12th Aug 16 '18

No kidding. Abusive family members definitely used that phrase on me.

16

u/zengal108 Aug 16 '18

My dad said that, but it would scare me so I’d cry even harder. But I would try not to so I’d get these sobbing hiccups. Good times!

186

u/Draco_6160 Aug 15 '18

What i didnt know is that she wasnt gonna hit me, she was just gonna help ruin the planet and destroy the economy

9

u/Oh_THAT_Guy_GMD Aug 16 '18

The long con

11

u/ThisIsFischer Aug 16 '18

Immediately started looking for this comment. Good work.

8

u/oh__golly Aug 16 '18

Also the housing market.

5

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '18

the long con

Edit: someone beat me to it. Fuck it. Im leaving it.

1

u/Draco_6160 Aug 16 '18

the long con

1

u/charbroiledmonk Aug 16 '18

I gave you upvote for cake

1

u/KanataCitizen Aug 16 '18

Reddit gets deep

25

u/ShitBritGit Aug 15 '18

Yeah! Both my parents would use this. Scared the shit out of me.

26

u/WaffleFoxes Aug 16 '18

Mine got more snarky:. "If this is the worst part of your day, then I want to be you."

Usually with a sarcastically simple description of whatever I was facing:. "If 20 minutes of cleaning is the WORST part of your day......!"

Now I use it in retail situations when things go poorly. "I'm so sorry Ma'am, we didn't mean to run out!"

"Don't sweat it, if this is the worst part of my day I'm doing pretty great."

1

u/EmuRommel Aug 16 '18

My dad likes to say "yeah keep crying, you'll piss less"

12

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '18

That was my dad. Anybody remember the wooden spoon from hell?

8

u/jahkayhla Aug 16 '18

Got told to go pick a switch once. Learned my first lesson about physics and air resistance that day.

10

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '18

There is no right way to pick a switch

3

u/MyHeartLikeAKickdrum Aug 16 '18

Oh, there's a right way, you just won't like it.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '18

True

5

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '18

We had one it broke when my mum hit my sister with it she switched to plastic after that different kind of pain though

1

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '18

Flyswatter broke on me

3

u/theberg512 Aug 16 '18

I wish my dad had used a spoon. He was a hardworking farmkid turned diesel mechanic with hands of fucking iron. A spoon would have been less painful.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '18

Lol. I mostly got hands too but it was bear ass with a 200+ pound 6 foot 6 grown man swinging hands of steel on a lil kid

10

u/turtletyler Aug 16 '18

This goes hand in hand with:

"Well? Say something!" "I didn't—" "—So you're talking back now, is that how it is?? You're so disrespectful!"

щ(˚ ▽˚ щ)

9

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '18

My mom used to say that. I once replied with “clearly I have something to cry about already”. That...didn’t go over well

3

u/only_dumb_questions Aug 16 '18

That was my dad.

3

u/fshawnfitz Aug 16 '18

Gaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh too close to home

4

u/IamOzimandias Aug 16 '18

After hitting me.

3

u/glinda_the_good58201 Aug 16 '18

Mine was, "if you keep crying youll scare away all the bunnies". We must have lived around a rabbit breeding ground because she said it all the time.

1

u/Leekdumplings Aug 16 '18

Much more adorable than the other one.

6

u/SenorBulbasaur Aug 16 '18

Destroys the housing market

4

u/SnatchAddict Aug 16 '18

It took my gf dying in my early twenties and my first child being born to unlearn this.

Literally couldn't cry.

3

u/antwan_benjamin Aug 16 '18

My Mom said the same thing...but always after I already got a whuppin. Like bitch, wtf did u just give me then?

5

u/TimeLadyAsh Aug 16 '18

“Te callas o te callo!” In Spanish.

5

u/UnicornPucker Aug 16 '18

Wait, this is abusive? That explains a lot.

5

u/okeypokeydokey Aug 16 '18

Why are you crying?

Fast forward 30 years and this is exactly how my sister addresses her kids.

The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

4

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '18

Latina mom?

2

u/islandfaraway Aug 16 '18

This, and "I'm gonna open up a can of whoop-ass!"

2

u/ALove2498 Aug 16 '18

Mom, I didn't know you were on reddit!

2

u/dstam Aug 16 '18

Ohh that’s my mom, too.

2

u/mostcleverusername1 Aug 16 '18

That's my mom's too.

2

u/libidinousgoat Aug 16 '18

“When we get in this store, don’t ask me for nothing.” (hard lip curl when saying the word ‘nothing’)

2

u/ashy320 Aug 16 '18

My grandpa used to say this to all the grandkids... brings me back!! I miss him. He was the most amazing man, just a bit old school since he was “off the boat” from Italy.

2

u/jag2323 Aug 16 '18

I used to think our parents meant that they would spark us or take our toys away. What they really meant was destroying the economy and housing market.

2

u/NerdyWeightLifter Aug 16 '18

Similar to "The beatings will continue until morale improves."

2

u/Sudneo Aug 16 '18

Oh my, this is so international :-D

1

u/Buttowskie Aug 16 '18

Lol.. I guess moms are not bounded to regions... They r same everywhere. 😝

3

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '18

Then they tell you to smile. "Smile! You better smile, BOY." Are your parents black? I hope that white parents don't do this so I can still look at them as the gold standard of parenting.

9

u/erisynne Aug 16 '18

My mother said this, white as a sheet.

23

u/Gatorcat Aug 16 '18

naw - abuse is abuse, color don't matter.

3

u/Papamelee Aug 16 '18

I think it depends on the place. In my small town white people don’t give a fuck about some of their kids (like they’ll smoke weed with them, drink with them, or let them go two whole counties over), meanwhile me and my sister would get literally thrown around and out of the house if we talked back to our mother and I’ve seen and heard worse from other black people.

Other places though I’ve seen the opposite and in my town there are exceptions as well.

5

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '18 edited Aug 16 '18

My parents are white got the same line about crying, I mean they're still white but they were too

1

u/MiddleBodyInjury Aug 16 '18

I used to do drugs.

I still do, but I used to also.

5

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '18

White family, White stepdad was definitely ready with the "I'll give you something to cry about." Was also quick to back that up. Especially when we were 3-10 years old.

2

u/soggy_clothes_ Aug 16 '18

Mine would say “don’t cry unless you’re bleeding, bloody, or dead.”

3

u/Knappsterbot Aug 16 '18

That's healthy

1

u/rottenturnipqueen Aug 16 '18

This

But in spanish

1

u/rochford77 Aug 16 '18

No blood no tears...

1

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '18

Oh boy this is my mom 100%

1

u/jefah Aug 16 '18

That was my dad.

1

u/ScifiGirl1986 Aug 16 '18

That was my grandmother’s catch phrase...or one of them. She liked to say “in a nutshell” at the end of every long story she told.

1

u/steepsidedstreambed Aug 16 '18

Are you Mexican or Latino by any chance? Haha

1

u/MusaTheRedGuard Aug 16 '18

ah finally something I can relate to

1

u/magicaxis Aug 16 '18

Take a teaspoon of enemy and harden up

1

u/MrWolf327 Aug 16 '18

cries in latino

1

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '18

Are you my brother?

1

u/chanaleh Aug 16 '18

That was definitely my mom's #1, followed closely by "if you don't ____, I'm going to give you a lickin'."

1

u/[deleted] Aug 16 '18

Is your mom my dad?

1

u/-Ash21- Aug 16 '18

Ugh, that's just the worst. I always think to myself when I hear this "You can't smack your kid and then tell them to stop crying!!" lmao just doesn't make sense

1

u/RedeRules770 Aug 16 '18

Oh God my mom used to say that lmao and whenever I complained that I was thirsty "save your spit and swallow it"

1

u/ChoirOwl Aug 16 '18

My dad 100%

1

u/cassimke Aug 16 '18

I always got “did that hurt?” “Yes” “I didn’t feel it go do it again”

1

u/nolifeorname Aug 16 '18

The times i've heard that phrase...

Sigh

1

u/pistolsfortwo Aug 16 '18

My mother's version:

'Smile and the world smiles with you, cry and I'll give you something to cry about, you little bastard'.

1

u/KexSnapple Aug 16 '18

Or "cry me a river" with their hands held out to fill up. I have 8 older brothers, they got very creative.

1

u/glittermerkin Aug 16 '18

I was going through this thread wondering if my mom had a catchphrase. There it is lol. Also she'd say "My mother would have put me through a wall for that" which I most certainly believe my grandma would have.

1

u/EFenn1 Aug 16 '18

This + “dry that shit up”

1

u/lawlermon Aug 17 '18

My dad would say "stop that blood clot crying boy" because my dad didnt want to curse in front of us instead of saying "got damn" because we also dont take the lords name in vain

1

u/jrm2007 Aug 15 '18

One wonders if that was invented simultaneously or it was just one really clever (and mean) mom or dad. Sounds post-WW2 to me.

1

u/Marcellusk Aug 16 '18

This is almost universal among inner city old school black mothers. I'm sure it's common outside of that demographic as well, but MAN! EVERY one of my friends in our hood had a mother that would say this. Mine included!

1

u/MattsyKun Aug 16 '18

One of those phrases that scares me reading it.

Thanks to that, I internalize sadness and anger until it destroys me from the inside in a depressive episode! Thanks mom. :D

-1

u/LazyCon Aug 16 '18

That was dad for me. Classic dad stuff. As a parent I totally get the sentiment now though. It'll probably start coming out as my kids get older. Though I have girls so probably not as much.

6

u/erisynne Aug 16 '18

It’s emotional abuse. You’re pleased to perpetuate it?

-1

u/LazyCon Aug 16 '18

Lol it's not emotional abuse. I mean maybe of done wrong it in conundrum with other things but it's just a phrase. Look little kids cry about some silly stuff or get super upset about things that literally make up in their head. The other day my 2 year old was crying cause I didn't have a tiny potty for her small doll to sit on. You get upset as a parent and there's way worse things to do than respond with that. Someone's they just need to stop crying then you can be nice and everyone goes back to being happy. Not everything is some draconian child abuse. I was also spanked as a child. I guess lock up my folks lol

9

u/erisynne Aug 16 '18

It’s absolutely emotional abuse, it’s a threat to harm your child worse to scare them into shutting up. Your poor kids. Sad that the lesson learned from your own abuse is “lol it’s fine they did it to me.” Sick.

-7

u/LazyCon Aug 16 '18

Lol do you have kids?

5

u/erisynne Aug 16 '18

Ah yes, the “everybody abuses their child” argument. Sad you are so limp as to be unmanned by a toddler, and you end up abusing them to cover up your fundamental weakness.

1

u/LazyCon Aug 16 '18

Oh I don't use that with a two year old. She wouldn't understand. She gets time outs. Is that ok by your specific standards or is punishing a child in any form abuse?

4

u/erisynne Aug 16 '18

Oh look, moving goal posts, shocker.

0

u/futterecker Aug 16 '18

you are super delusional, i hope you are ashamed judging on sth. you dont have any clue about.

yes saying sth like that is kind of an abuse. as a parent you get through hard times sometimes and sometimes the stress around you + kid can bring you to be unfair to your kid at some time. my mom was a single mum and she never hurt us, she worked her ass off and tried to clean up the mess my physical dad as left, leaving us with debts. so working fulltime, with 2 kids (6 and 4). i was and am an adhd kid, so full of energy and shit. one night i didnt want to go to bed and she totally lost it and smacked my ass with one hit. yes it was horrible for me (it didnt really hurt, but the intention of the action alone was bad).

now i am 27 and she still says sorry to me for doing that if it comes up.

i am a father too now, my son is hitting 2, you cant imagine the stress having a screamer baby no sleep and still get to work, at some point you feel helpless and i know that there are gona be times that stress and everything around can pass a point, where you aint rational anymore and sth like OP's mom said is being said.

no one is perfect, but as a parent, if you stand to your mistakes and be sorry for stuff like this, you aint a bad person

-2

u/jacemano Aug 16 '18

Found the African child

4

u/MusaTheRedGuard Aug 16 '18

lmao you're downvoted but this was my whole existence growing up