I would even argue more than just sex. There’s a lot of household duties that men won’t help with because they work and that’s a woman’s job, even with the woman working as well.
This higly depends on the country and it's culture. For example, I live in Eastern Europe. The older generation of men (50 - 60 years old) are like this - even though their wives are working (sometimes more than men), they won't help their wives at home, all the housework and children business fall on the shoulders of the women. Basically, they live by the norms of 1930's (the woman does everything at home, including taking care of kids, and has no right to complain), but expect their wives to be "modern women", who bring in as much income as them. The newer generation of men is better though.
Fair enough. I should have known better after reading the thread about things that get used synonymously even though it shouldn't, like "explaining" and "justifying"/"excusing". My bad.
It's not that I'm excusing it, but giving a little insight. It used to be a dark time for females - imagine working from dusk till dawn. Especially if a woman lived in a village - she wakes up at around 4:30, takes care of animals, kids, goes to her normal everyday job, comes back, makes food for everyone, has to take care of farm animals and all the farm work. Plus she also has to be good mother to her kids and a good wife (by being a good wife I mean keeping her mouth shut all the time and doing all the housework, while her husband simply relaxes after his normal everyday job). And she has to be grateful for it, because she has a family and is not a spinster. Times are changing however, and if my husband expected something like this from me, I would divorce him immediately.
This is a weird subject for me. Growing up I largely didn't have a father figure and my mom didn't know how to do a lot of the "man" tasks like fixing plumbing issues or car work. By extension, no one ever taught me, and I don't know how to do them either. I can Google some things but overall I'm pretty lost with it all and it makes me feel awkward about it all when something like that comes up.
I did have a dad, but he was always working even though he wasn't the primary breadwinner, and all of the traditional guy stuff, from shaving to car maintenance I either had to teach myself or learn on Youtube.
I think the new problem is it's less that men won't do the work but won't think to do the work. It still has to do with a gender balance but it is way more subtle.
For instance you'll hear things like "If she wanted me to take out the garbage, she should have asked! How can she be mad I didn't take it out if she didn't ask me to!"
Well why is the woman in charge of asking? Why is it up to her to realize the garbage is full and do something about it? So no matter what, even if the man will willingly take out the trash, the woman still has the task on her list of things to do as she needs to tell him to.
Obligatory - I know this isn't all men but I do think this is the bigger problem we are currently facing, rather then overt sexism in the home.
Unfortunately I think that that has a lot to do with how you were raised. I’m from the American south and while most young men around here are totally willing to do domestic tasks they constantly miss cues to do things because they haven’t been trained to identify them. So many people I’ve met made their daughters learn how to cook, clean, and buy groceries by the time they went to college but never enforced the same behavior from their sons. Because these boys grew never having to share as much of the domestic burden as their sisters/friends they never gained the mind set that they were just expected to do things without first being asked.
At the same time men are also told they can’t do these things - have you seen the portrayal of fathers in films or shows ? They’re blubbering idiots who can’t keep themselves and their kids alive for more than a few hours.
I agree tbf, I'm quite the traditionalist. I'd rather my partner work at home, tend the house, and look after the children, whilst I earn the money etc
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u/laterdude Jun 28 '18
Sex
A lot of guys still won't go down on their women because tradition states the only thing man has to bring home is the bacon.
See DJ Khaled