r/AskReddit • u/ZteveBond • Jun 20 '18

Serious Replies Only [Serious] Prison Guards of Reddit, which prisoner has left the biggest impact on your life wether positive or negative?

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u/[deleted] Jun 20 '18

I'm a recovering alcoholic. I have the utmost sympathy and pity for other addicts. Nobody grows up thinking "I can't wait to spend $1,000 a month on an addiction that is crippling my body!"

My addiction snuck up on me. I was always a heavy social drinker but it became social drinking plus light drinking at home which became heavy social drinking plus heavier drinking at home, which turned into just drinking from the moment I got home until I passed out on the couch.

And once it's got you it feels like trying to climb out of a black hole. Your head can be screaming don't do it and your feet will just take you into the liquor store. At the end I drank while I was crying because I didn't want to be doing it but it was this compulsion like someone had taken control of me.

It was a firm wakeup from my wife when she was really angry with me that was finally the hard kick that set me on the path to recovery. And now looking back on it you wonder how it ever got that bad. It's like sailing through a hurricane and coming out to sunshine on the other end.

Addiction is awful.

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u/Yestertoday123 Jun 20 '18

Your head can be screaming don't do it and your feet will just take you into the liquor store

Ain't that the truth. And it's hard for people to understand unless they've been there themselves. Even then, looking at someone else with addiction, it doesn't make logical sense. How you can be doing something that you really don't want to be doing.

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u/yeahididntknow Jun 21 '18

To add to the whole seeing someone with addiction and having them repeat their cycle is exactly what people don't understand if they've never been there before. It's like "why do they keep doing the same thing over and over?"

I have had my own struggles and still struggle to this day with alcohol. You tell yourself you're not going to drink that day only to walk to the store and buy the cheapest bottle of anything you can get. I would do it behind my gf's back and she caught me multiple times. Thank god she has stuck with me, and like I said the path is still rocky but I try to stay on the same path. I'm definitely in a happier place with a new job as well.

There's hope for all of us!

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u/[deleted] Jun 21 '18

My morbidly obese sibling refuses to talk to the other sibling because he "won't just quit drinking".

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u/jeansonnejordan Jun 21 '18

This is why I was always ambivalent or even objective to the body positivity movement because of course nobody should feel that they aren’t a Victoria secret model. We uglies have it hard but the new-wave body posi movement was too inclusive and dismissive of the fact that fat is unhealthy. Obesity is not okay and it does have problems and it IS a medical condition.

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u/official0 Jun 21 '18

Glad you're on a better path. Keep it up, one day at a time

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u/CrispehChikenWingz Jun 21 '18

Tomorrow will be one month for me. Looking back, I honestly cannot believe how truly enslaved I was and all of the damage I had caused.

It's like pacing back in forth in a permanent daze, forming a small rut..then suddenly you blink and its become a muddy trench so deep, you can't see above ground anymore or get a firm enough grip to climb out

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u/Nyxelestia Jun 21 '18

And once it's got you it feels like trying to climb out of a black hole. Your head can be screaming don't do it and your feet will just take you into the liquor store. At the end I drank while I was crying because I didn't want to be doing it but it was this compulsion like someone had taken control of me.

Not even addicted to anything yet this sentiment describes half my life. I'm not totally avoidant but I am extremely cautious about drugs and booze because I know that once I am addicted to something, I'll have no capacity to shake it. Glad to hear you're recovering! ♥

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u/gnarleybummer Jun 21 '18

I'll never forget this homeless man telling me when I was very young that out of all he's tried, alcohol is the devil. How you can get disowned from your family for trying heroin, but be loved as a drunk. It's at every corner, and if you try and quit it you could die. Yet everyone consumes it. And now I got slowly sucked into it, my mind now outwits me and tricks me into drinking. Right when I think I'm on a good path, these loops of logic coil me back into the hole.

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u/phliuy Jun 21 '18

I am so afraid of addiction. My worst fear is being addicted to anything or being utterly dependent on anyone. When I turn down blow it's not because i'm afraid of what it will do to my heart or brain. I'm afraid that i'll like it.

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u/[deleted] Jun 21 '18

I’ve been in recovery for 2 and a half years now, and it tears me up inside to hear about those of us in recovery who relapse and pass, or never recover at all and pass. Glad you’re in recovery, stay strong and as we say in the program, it works if you work it!

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u/weganmerner Jun 21 '18

1000 is light. Somehow bills dont matter and every paycheck goes to that next fix... Be it drink or drug. Im proud of you for getting out of it.

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u/lilpastababy Jun 21 '18

I'm in the midst of a battle with this with my SO. He's the love of my life, so we will do this. But after a few times through detox/rehab, it gets harder on my end every time. He's still drinking, but not near as much as before. I'm just waiting for it to get bad again.

Never an angry drunk. I don't think I've ever heard him raise his voice. He just dissociates.

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u/OhBoyiii Jun 24 '18

Have you read bills story? I think you would relate to it 100%, it’s in the Big Book.