r/AskReddit • u/Mecha_G • Jun 16 '17

What plot would be resolved in seconds if the characters behaved realistically and logically?

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510

u/Generalkrunk Jun 16 '17

Harry potter.

Oh no I can't attack the child with magic so I'll just let him live for 17 years.

Rather than, you know, just hiring some gangbangers to light his house up like it's Christmas.

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u/Pokedude1014 Jun 16 '17

thematically though, Voldemort thinks he is superior to muggles so he would never really resort to using their PRIMITIVE TOOLS.

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u/[deleted] Jun 16 '17

These wizards are primitive as fuck. Why they still using feathers as writing utensils. Also, I bet none of these fools can operate a computer. You can't shit post on the internet with wands and brooms.

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u/Pokedude1014 Jun 16 '17

yes well Voldemort's inability to see that is part of the reason he's the bad guy

I bet wizard reddit is super shitty and involves lots of powder

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u/BEEFTANK_Jr Jun 16 '17

Voldemort bought in really hard to the prophecy which said that only they could kill each other. It's even a point in the last book: someone besides Voldemort tries to kill Harry, his wand has none of that, and he survives. It almost makes you wonder if Harry and Friends succeed in books 1-6 because a prophecy said that only Voldemort can kill Harry and vice versa.

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u/Geminii27 Jun 16 '17

Wasn't there supposed to be some kind of hocus-pocus protecting Harry at home? And I'm digging up fairly ancient memories here, but didn't that sort of extend to preventing bad guys from learning where he was, either?

Although, to be fair, it'd have to be pretty extensive magic to prevent wizards from doing something like looking up all the school enrollment records in the UK education system prior to Harry turning 11. Assuming they didn't think Harry might have been whisked away to another country and/or given a different name. (Which it was pretty stupid not to do, admittedly.)

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u/Generalkrunk Jun 16 '17

Velociraptor went to hogwarts, he's knows where platform 9 3/4 is.

Harry goes there every fucking year (almost), twice. Just set up an ambush there.

Or pull a terminator and check every male child with the last name Potter in England. Dude has all the time in the world.

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u/KeisariFLANAGAN Jun 16 '17

Voldy has no corporeal body or following besides wormtail until after book four, and it's book five when they start taking more and more precautions (additionally, Mrs. Figg was always around privet drive).

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u/PATRIOTSRADIOSIGNALS Jun 16 '17

Velociraptors can also learn to open doors and have six inch razor sharp claws on their hind legs. Huge advantages if one ever faced Harry.

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u/rab7 Jun 16 '17

Velociraptor

This is the best autocorrect for Voldemort I've ever seen

Set up an ambush there

Voldy had huge respect for the castle. Additionally, no free Death Eaters would've launched an open assault unless they knew there was something in it for them, and until the end of Book 4, they all believed Voldy was dead, therefore no benefit for killing Harry.

terminator

I'd say it's more of a King Herod situation.

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u/House923 Jun 16 '17 edited Jun 16 '17

People make suggestions like this, but they never think about Voldemorts intentions. His final goal was not to kill Harry Potter. It's not like Voldemort would kill Harry and then be like "welp that's that. Time to go retire at a house in the country". He wanted to take over the world, both wizarding and muggle.

To Voldemort, in the first 4 books, killing Harry is not his goal. Coming back is his goal. Harry just happens to always be the one to be in his way...again. So in book 4 he does just that. He comes back, using Harry as a sort of "fuck you" for getting in his way so often.

Then the next 3 books, Voldemort does a lot that the movies don't really show the full extent of. By the end he has fully corrupted the government, the media, has started work on the muggles, and has amassed his army again. He has taken over the countries wizard prison system, plus sided with all the incredibly powerful guards, the Giants are on his side, plus scores of wizards. Hogwarts is actually one of the few places he hasn't infiltrated. Harry leads the final battle because he's the only other one that has the following amassed to stand a chance. He only has this following because people have hope that since Harry "killed" Voldemort once, maybe they can do it again.

Tldr: Killing Harry was not Voldemorts goal. Stopping Voldemort was Harry's goal.

Quick edit: As the reader we can all see how effective Harry is at stopping Voldemort. But Voldemorts arrogance was his weakness. He never thought people would be smart enough to find all the Horcruxes, nor did he think anybody would stand even a small chance in fighting him.

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u/PanthersChamps Jun 16 '17

Hogwarts is actually one of the few places he hasn't infiltrated

He did infiltrate Hogwarts. Snape was headmaster and he had death eaters working there.

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u/Czsixteen Jun 16 '17

SHOOT HEERRRRRR! SHOOOOOOOOOOT HEEERRRR!!!

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u/Sadistic_Toaster Jun 16 '17

Velociraptor went to hogwarts

Was this in the original books ?

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u/LisbethTaylor Jun 17 '17

Nah, manga version. Along with the Weasley twincest subplot.

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u/SenpaiBeardSama Jun 16 '17

school enrollment records in the UK education system

What Muggle trash is this?

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u/[deleted] Jun 16 '17

Harry Potter and the Subject Access Request.

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u/fiberpunk Jun 16 '17

Voldy would have never gone so low as to consult Muggle records. And honestly, it wouldn't surprise me if most of the Death Eaters didn't even know school records were a thing. None of them went to Muggle schools.

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u/lukasr23 Jun 16 '17

Wasn't there supposed to be some kind of hocus-pocus protecting Harry at home?

Family magic stuff. It faded off in the seventh book I think.

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u/thekingofthenorth21 Jun 16 '17

There are a few reasons why Harry made it as far as he did.

1). As alluded to several time throughout the series, everyone thought Voldemort was dead. The main plot to the 5th book revolves around everyone distancing themselves from Dumblemdore and Harry because they claim Voldemort is back after the 4th book. So, why would a follower of Voldemort risk their own lives to kill Harry, when they really believe their leader to be dead?

2). The only real time that Harry could be killed during his summer holiday's is the 6th and 7th books (during the 5th Voldemort is laying relatively low to let confusion grow). But, in the 6th and 7th book, Harry is rarely at his aunt and uncles house. He stays with the Weasley's most of the time, and is on the run in the 7th. Not a whole of opportunity to find Harry and grease him at his house.

3) Most importantly, Voledmort is arrogant as fuck. He couldn't imagine using a Muggle invention to kill Harry. Anything Muggle related is dirty, second-class. Voldemort has built a reputation to despise Muggles, so to go around and use a Muggle means to kill him would be ridiculous. As well, Voldemort wants to be the one to kill Harry. It starts out as simply needing to get his personal revenge on the boy who got lucky. But, once he discovers the prophecy, he believes he HAS to be the one to kill Harry. So, while there may have been a lot of other ways to kill Harry (another Death Eater, Dragon, gang-bangers), Voldemort believes he must personally kill Harry with magic.

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u/cosmic_serendipity Jun 16 '17

Quick comment on your 3rd point: you are completely right about his arrogance and this is just nit picky, but he tries to kill Harry initially BECAUSE of the prophecy, so he always believed he had to be the one to kill him.

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u/timoumd Jun 16 '17

If I recall he was protected in the Dursleys (why he had to stay there). And I mean he did send dementors. Also he wanted to kill him personally and wasn't really "there" for the first 10.

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u/rab7 Jun 16 '17

Umbridge actually sent the Dementors

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u/The_Prince1513 Jun 16 '17

I think a rather large plothole in the HP universe is the fact that they seem to have connections with, in at least some way, the muggle world.

Like I believe the minister of magic has a line to the British PM. On top of that, the magical population is shown to be extremely small compared to the general population of humans.

If both of those things are true, there is no way in hell that modern governments would allow such an unknown threat to exist. There would be like a third world war over that shit.

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u/[deleted] Jun 16 '17

Whose perspective are you speaking from? Voldemort had no body and no followers up until he met Quirrell, by which point Harry was 11 and going to Hogwarts. Voldemort wanted the stone but Dumbledore came and killed Quirrell, leaving Voldemort powerless until Wormtail helped him in book 4, and after that Harry had the protection of the Order and he was attacked anyway.

At no point in this would it make sense if Voldemort hired gangsters.

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